Kaius the Fierce by Cara Wylde

Chapter Twelve

They went by the river, where the krags grazed peacefully. Kaius ordered the few orcs that were there, tending to the animals, to leave, and they did without a word. He then sat down on the riverbank and looked in the distance, silent for a long minute.

Grace’s heart was beating wildly, and she could feel her blood rush faster through her veins, making her feel hot. She sat down next to him and studied his profile, waiting for him to talk. It hadn’t been easy for her to tell him about Sasha last night, so she could imagine how hard it was for him now. She had a bad feeling about this... Sasha was with her aunt, and she could get to her in a matter of hours. There was no young orc in the horde, no male who could be the captain’s son. Maybe he was with another horde? She didn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario. Not until she heard the story from Kaius.

“His name is Brun,” Kaius finally said in a low voice. “He’s ten years old, and he lives with his mother.”

Grace felt a sharp pain in her chest. Of course. If there was a son, then there was a mother. Another woman, another female... Another mate?

“Your bride,” she managed to say simply.

Kaius turned to her, his brows furrowed. “No. Horra is not my bride. She’s not my mate. Never was.”

“Then... how?”

“In our world, monogamy is not as common as in your world. Before we meet our mates, and even after, we’re free to do whatever we want, with whom we want. Both males and females. Some orcs choose to stay true to their mate, but most believe in freedom. Horra was a friend. A partner. For a while. No more than that, I promise you, Grace.”

“Okay.”

“When she found out she was pregnant, she came to me. I was ready to make her my mate, even though what we had was casual, and she said she’s not interested in that, but that she wanted to keep the baby. We agreed to remain friends and raise the child together.”

Grace cleared her throat. Her mouth was parched, but her heartbeat had slowed down. So far, so good. Kaius didn’t have another mate.

“And they’re both... in your home world?”

The orc sighed and dropped his head in his hands. “Yes. I failed them, Grace. I failed my son.”

Her eyes widened. “Don’t say that. You were pulled into this dimension against your will.”

“I abandoned them long before that.”

“What do you mean?”

“I chose war over my son. I chose the rush of battle and the sweet taste of victory as I conquered land after land in Hagan’s name. I didn’t keep my promise to Horra, and even though I sent gold home and made sure Brun had everything he needed, I abandoned him. I wasn’t there. I visited once or twice a year, and in time, my own son became afraid of me. As a baby, he’d coo and reach for me, but as he grew older, he understood the truth. That I was a bad father. That I wasn’t worthy of his love and attention. And the colder he became towards me, the less I visited him and his mother. He heard stories about me. Stories of war, of violence and conquest. Kaius the Fierce, they called me.” He chuckled sadly. “And that’s the name my son knows me by. It stuck, and Brun never called me anything else but that. Never called me father.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I failed him,” he said again, firmly. “He hates me. Now I’m trapped here, with no way of letting him know that I didn’t want to leave, that I will never abandon him forever, that it’s not his fault.”

“Do you think the people in your world haven’t figured out that the hordes that went missing were swept into a parallel dimension?” Now that she’d formulated the question, she couldn’t quite believe she hadn’t asked it before. It was essential! Both humans and orcs should’ve talked about this more.

Kaius shrugged. “Who knows? Who can tell? We don’t have scientists, like you do. We have mages, so there’s a chance they know what happened.”

“See? That’s a silver lining! If they do, and if they made that knowledge public, then your son knows! He must’ve heard!”

Kaius shook his head. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve kept my promise and raised him properly. I behaved like a stranger. An entitled male in power who never had time for the one soul in his life who mattered the most.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Grace murmured. But it was hard for her to voice that more firmly as she thought of her own daughter. She’d abandoned her too, albeit for only two months. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I know how it feels... I failed Sasha, too. And it was never my intention, as I know it wasn’t yours. I was a child myself when I had her, six years ago. I was twenty... And that’s no excuse, but... I wasn’t ready. And even so, in spite of all my shortcomings, Sasha never judged me. She saved me, you know... I was a mess before her. I’m still a mess now, but I was a disaster back then.”

“You didn’t fail your daughter. You were there for her.”

“I’m not there for her now...”

“You’re trying to give her a better life. You’re a great mother, Grace.”

“No, I’m not...” She bit her lower lip.

“Then we’re both bad parents. And we both have to do better.” He turned to her fully and looked her in the eyes. “There’s nothing I can do until your scientists find a way to send us back. Nothing I can do for Brun. All I can hope is that when I do see him again, he’ll allow me to explain. Maybe he’ll forgive me, maybe he won’t. If he doesn’t, I fully deserve it. I will live the rest of my life trying to make amends. I made mistakes, and I have so many regrets. But you... It’s different with you and Sasha. You will keep all the promises you made. You found a home for her, and you’ll bring her here to enjoy it. And I will do for your daughter all that I never did for my son. I will cherish her, take care of her, give her all my love and attention, teach her what I know, and make sure she never wants for anything.”

Grace felt her heart grow. She straightened her back and placed her hands on his knees. He quickly covered them with his.

“You... mean that? You forgive me for lying to you?”

Kaius shook his head. “There’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t lie to me, Grace, you only protected the most precious person in your life.”

She nodded. “I did. Oh my God, I did! I’m so sorry... I should’ve told you earlier, but I had to... I had to make sure.”

“I understand.”

“First, I had to know this was a good place for her, that you and the horde would accept her, that she could have a good life here. That we could both have... what we never had out there, in our world.”

Kaius kissed her hands. “Bring her, Grace. I will come with you. We can bring her together.”

Grace hesitated. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings now that they’d just made up and he’d confessed something so painful to her, but she didn’t think that was a good idea.

Kaius felt her mood change.

“Of course, you’ll do whatever you think is best,” he whispered.

She smiled. “Thank you. I believe it’s better if I go alone. She’s staying with my aunt, and even though my aunt knows I offered myself as an orc tribute, Sasha doesn’t. She’s only six, and she’s so smart... She’ll understand. I’ll explain everything to her. She already knows about orcs, but I didn’t want to tell her she might one day live with a horde when I wasn’t absolutely sure myself. I’m sorry... It all sounds so complicated...”

“Because it is.”

“I want it to stop being complicated. For her sake. I want to make her life simple and easy. I want her to always know where she stands and what to expect from the adults around her. I want her to know that she’s safe with me, and she’s safe with you. For all that to happen, I need to do this alone.”

He kissed her hands again. “Okay. I will drive you down the mountain.”

Grace nodded. “I’ll take a train from the nearest town, and I’ll return as soon as I can. Sooner than you think. I only need a day or two to tell Sasha about you, pack her things, and say goodbye to my aunt. That’s all, really. I don’t have any friends, and my aunt is the only family I have.” She smiled bitterly. “And she can’t wait to get rid of me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, though. She’ll miss Sasha, but she won’t miss me. It’s okay. I made her life hell.”

“Please don’t talk about yourself like that.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

Grace closed her eyes and sighed. “This has been a roller coaster.”

“I don’t know what that is, but I’m guessing it’s bad, and I can promise you that it’s over.”

She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s not bad... just wild.”

“Wild is a positive thing, isn’t it?” Kaius sounded confused.

“For you, it is.” They did live in caves and hunted in the woods. “For me, too.” She pressed her whole body to his. “I don’t want to let go, but I miss my girl so much.”

He stood up and pulled her with him. “Come on. I can’t wait to meet Sasha.”

“Will you tell the horde about her while I’m gone.”

“Yes. I’ll make them throw her a party.”

Grace laughed. “No need to go the extra mile... I just want her to be accepted, that’s all.”

“Are you kidding me? Orcs love children! Beka and Birma will go crazy when I tell them.”

They were walking back towards the caves. When they emerged in the clearing, the orcs stopped whispering amongst themselves and stood to attention.

Grace bit the inside of her cheek. “I think they caught on to the whole thing.”

Kaius kissed her temple and handed her the bag. The suitcase remained forgotten where Grace had dropped it earlier.

“Let’s get you to your daughter, and then I’ll take care of this. She’s waited long enough.”

She looked into his dark eyes, gratefulness written on her face. “I love you so much.”

His lips curled into a bright smile. “I love you, too.”