Kaius the Fierce by Cara Wylde

Chapter Ten

A week passed, and things seemed to be back to normal. The orcs celebrated their victory, enjoyed the meal Grace had helped prepare, and then asked for a meal like that every evening. Grace had a feeling they would soon have to find a way to get more salt and spices. The twins had gathered the packs from the abandoned houses years ago, but now those houses were empty and mostly used to store tools, vegetables and fruits. Every day, Grace went down the mountain with Kaius, and she’d gone through all the houses already in search of more things she could use and teach Birma and Beka how to use. She’d learned to ride by herself, and Kaius had gifted her the smallest krag in his herd. It was a calf that was barely a year old, and not yet as big as an elephant. The beast grew fast, though, so Grace had to learn how to ride more easily and comfortably if she wanted to be able to control it later.

She went to the valley even when Kaius had other work to do. Either Beka or Birma would accompany her, and she loved working side by side with the orcs, tending to the gardens, the fields, the vineyards, and the orchards. She loved picking fruit and coming up with ideas for how to use it. If they could find more sugar, maybe she could teach the twins how to make jam. It was possible that they might have to drive into the nearest town and buy it from the supermarket. At the institute, she’d learned that there were orcs who were fine with mingling with humans and went to get groceries or buy other things they needed. From what she could tell, this horde wasn’t very open to it. Maybe she could convince the females to go with her, if she promised them ice cream or something. Cake. No one could refuse cake, right? Not even orcs. But even as she was thinking that, she found herself wondering whether Kaius and his orcs had ever had cake and knew what it was. If Birma and Beka didn’t know, then how could she tempt them?

This was a good life. It had only been a week, and it was time. It was time to tell Kaius the truth, to reveal to him what she’d only kept for herself, what she hadn’t even told the manager at the institute, what wasn’t even mentioned in her file. But then again, if she wasn’t careful, she could ruin everything. She could ruin her future here, and her only chance of doing the right thing. She decided to wait.

Another week, and things were going great. Grace knew she had completely seduced Kaius. Or maybe he had completely seduced her. That was also valid. She blushed every time he kissed her or held her hand in front of his orcs, which was silly given what they did every night in the bed they shared. And all over the gallery, for that matter. Also, in the hot lake a few times.

When her period was late, she knew she couldn’t wait any longer. Besides, she missed the love of her life so much some days that she could hardly breathe. It was time.

One night, after dinner, she took her captain’s hand and pulled him away from the bonfire. The moon was in its first quarter, and the sky was peppered with stars. She took him to the cliff from where she’d listened to the battle with the enemy horde that now seemed to have disappeared up the mountain across the valley. She sat down, and Kaius sat next to her. He tried to pull her into his arms, but she gently moved away and squeezed his hand instead. She wanted to look him in the eye when she told him.

A crease appeared on his forehead. “What is it, Grace?”

His low, serious voice threw her off for a second.

“Did something happen? Did I do something to upset you?”

Her eyes widened, realizing that her gesture had thrown him off first. She smiled. Sometimes she thought he paid too much attention to her, tried to read into everything that she did or didn’t do. Not that she was complaining. No man had ever looked at her like that. She could get used to it, and after tonight, if all went well, she would never have to be careful around him. Careful with her thoughts, with what she said, careful not to let him see how she longed, how tears rolled down her cheeks out of nowhere and she had to wipe them with her sleeve before anyone could see them.

“No, oh my God, no! You’re perfect!”

A smile tugged at his lips. “Good.”

“Huh. Thought you’d at least try to fake some modesty.”

“Modesty?”

She laughed. It was entirely possible that he didn’t know the meaning of the word. It was okay. She had more important things to tell him than the definition of it.

“Listen, Kaius... I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you when I came here. Even before. But I... I couldn’t.” She shook her head and lowered her gaze. “I hope you understand why...”

His brows were once again furrowed. “I don’t understand anything right now. You’ve been hiding something from me...”

She let out a deep sigh. “Y-yes, I have. And I am sorry. But I hope... I hope you’ll see why...”

She felt his hand go cold and rigid in hers, as if all the blood had drained from it. He didn’t pull away, but his gaze said everything. He looked at her as if he was steeling himself against a blow.

She closed her eyes for a second and cursed herself silently. She should’ve put this off for a while longer. She should’ve first told him how her period was late and how she might’ve been with child. Even better, she should’ve found a way to get into town and buy a pregnancy test. Because how else would she know? Now she only hoped. But it wouldn’t have been right. She didn’t want to manipulate him like that. Making him fall for her was only natural and desirable. She fully intended to spend her life here, with him and his horde. And she had fallen for him almost the first moment she saw him.

So, she took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and released it slowly. She was ready. Whatever happened after, she’d face it. It was time.

“Kaius, I have a daughter.”

His face was unreadable.

“She’s the reason I’m here. She’s the reason I volunteered to become a tribute. She’s six years old, her name is Sasha, and she’s waiting for me to take her from my aunt’s house and give her the life that I promised her.”

He blinked but didn’t say a word. He didn’t even move.

Grace had no idea what that meant. All she could do was go on, now that she’d started talking.

“I failed her, Kaius. After her father left, I was a wreck. I even...” She sniffed ungracefully, trying to contain her tears. “I even thought that maybe... maybe it was better to not... I was young. So young. A child myself. But I didn’t. I kept her, and I promised myself I would raise her as best as I could, that I would give her everything I had and more. But I never had much. No parents to help me... They died in a car crash when I was a teenager. I think... I think that was when it all went wrong.” She started gesturing with her hands. “Something snapped inside me, and I couldn’t... I wasn’t myself anymore, I couldn’t bear to pretend that everything was okay and I could still have the life that had been planned out for me. I made so many mistakes. Sasha wasn’t one of them, I promise.” She was talking more to herself than to him. “She is the best thing that has happened to me. She saved me. But out there, on my own, with no friends, no real family, no one who wants me... I can’t make it. I can’t give her the life she deserves. So, I thought...” She shrugged. “A tribute. Why not? An orc bride. I am fertile, and I want to have more children. I want Sasha to have siblings and a real family, real support, everything that I never had, everything that was taken from me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you... I just... They would’ve never accepted me at the institute if they knew I already had a child.”

She felt exhausted. Telling Kaius the truth was like unloading a burden that had pressed onto her heart and shoulders for too long, driving her into the ground, into her own sorrow. She focused on her own breath and waited. She was aware that she’d rambled a bit, and that some things he’d said had probably not made much sense, but it was the best she could do. She’d rehearsed this moment and this speech so many times, but the second she’d started talking, her thoughts had scattered, and this was the best she could achieve.

“Please say something,” she whispered.

He didn’t. He removed his hand from hers, and with pursed lips and a clenched jaw, he stood up. She shot to her feet and craned her neck to look into his eyes. They shone with moisture, and that felt like a punch to her gut. She didn’t understand what was happening. She couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking. Did he feel betrayed? Was that it? Could he not forgive her for keeping this secret from him for so long?

“Kaius...”

He turned on his heels and walked away. She could only hope she’d find him later in the cave. And if not... What was she going to do?