The Degradation of Shelby Ann by Emma Cole
Chapter Twelve
Shelby
With a headache forming to accompany the knots in my stomach and the pain in my chest, I laid the last of the papers upside down on top of the stack. “Mr. Caldwell, I think I need to speak to Dirk before we all gather again.” His troubled frown made me worry he was going to object, and I really didn’t want to have the discussion that was needed in front of anyone else. “I have questions that are better asked with just the two of us. It won’t take long.”
After a moment where I imagined he weighed the pros and cons of my request, he clasped his hands together and said, “Very well, but don’t sign anything without consulting me first.”
I readily agreed, and swiftly left the room to fetch Dirk. Milo had taken up a post outside of the door, but I stared him down, daring him to try to keep me from entering. He flat took the wind out of my sails when he rapped twice on the thick wooden door before opening it and dipping his head, holding his arm out like he was ushering me through and not being a sarcastic jerk. But Milo didn’t matter, so I made a beeline for Dirk.
“We need to go over some things, and I’d prefer to do it in private,” I spit out without preamble.
Mr. Bollin beat him to answering with an immediate argument. “That’s what we’re all here for, to discuss and hash out the agreement. It’s ridiculous to have the conversation twice.” The man’s condescending tone lit the fire in me that had been smoldering, and I snapped.
While glaring at the attorney, I addressed Dirk. “Do you want to get married? Because if not, I need to see about getting my job back and a place to live. All these extra people,” I waved my arm to encompass the entire estate, “coming between us at every turn is about to make me call the whole thing off.” It was partially a bluff, but I was plain fed up with all the concessions I was making when it didn’t seem like Dirk was making any effort to compromise.
Dirk’s stricken expression lasted all of a half a second before censure took over, and with his jaw set, he gripped my arm and proceeded to drag me from the room. A smirking Milo got the finger as I passed. His glare promised retribution, but I was out of fucks to give and damn near about to dig my heels in and have it out in the hall with Dirk. Instead, I allowed his pinching grip to lead me into yet another room, one filled with heavy wooden filing cabinets and a giant copy/printer machine as well as a metal shelving unit filled with other office supplies. It seemed they were fully set up for their home offices, but I didn’t particularly care about the contents of the room. No, I was more interested in dealing with the BS I’d been handed.
Wrenching my arm from his hold, I stared my fiancé down while I rubbed at the white fingerprints on my bicep. They were rapidly filling with red, and I was sure they would bruise later. “What the hell, Dirk? That hurt and was wholly unnecessary.”
“No, darling, what was unnecessary was you barging in and making ultimatums! You got your way with your choice of representation and then came at me acting like a fishwife! Do you not comprehend that those men work for the family? Who do you think they ultimately answer to? I can tell you right now that if they aren’t informing him of events as we speak, they will as soon as they’re out of the house.” Frustration pulled heavily at his features, and it dawned on me that he was worried. But about what? All the secrets and rules were wearing on me, and trying to catch up on everything was nearly impossible considering I’d been ensconced in the house for days. Deciding it was best to get on with it, I pushed the arm issue to the side for now and calmly broached my concerns.
“Have you read the agreement?” My slim hope that he was just oblivious was dashed; I’d really doubted he wouldn’t have known, but still… “How could you ask me to sign that? It controls my life—from who my doctors are, to my medication, including birth control, when we have children and how many, not to mention the provisions for extensive genetic testing before we can even get a marriage license. And those are just the main medical ones!” I griped, incredulous that those decisions would be up to anyone but me and Dirk, to a certain extent, as my husband. “The consequences for breaching the contract by any refusal is insane. Where do you people get off wanting to control another person?!” I couldn’t even get into the confidentiality clauses, which I sort of agreed with, but the other things like required attendance for functions, my manner of dress, physical maintenance, and even how I was allowed to cut my hair or wear my makeup was beyond not okay.
“Do you want to marry me, Shelby?” He was angry then, and while he didn’t touch me physically, his words hit me like pummeling blows anyhow as he gestured with his hands to punctuate each point. “You asked me that question, but I wouldn’t be going through this, or have asked you in the first place, if I didn’t want you for my wife. Do you think I control my own life? Or that I wouldn’t face consequences for my actions? I didn’t follow Father’s plan, and now he’s going to make damn sure that I don’t deviate again. If you can’t accept me as I am, or the way my life is, then you need to say so now. And I’ll warn you, this is it. If you leave now, there’s no going back. I’ll be married off to that dull cow that was picked for me. Our engagement will immediately be announced and she’ll happily sign the agreement without a blink, because in my circles, making sure there won’t be birth defects, or that a woman is healthy enough to provide heirs, is an everyday occurrence.”
The voice was strangely quiet, maybe because I was standing up for myself, or it was likelier that she was sitting back, eating popcorn while the show played out. Either way, I was grateful to be able to hold my train of thought without interruption. But Dirk’s edict that I make a choice caused my heart to clutch in fear that I’d lose him. Not that it was much of a choice: marry him with the strict terms or let him go and watch him marry another.
“But what if I don’t agree with whatever is being demanded of me, Dirk? I don’t know that I can live like that. This last week alone has been hard, but you say it’s normal. What was in that first contract for the attorney? How much would I have signed away there?”
Pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, he quietly answered. “It gave the firm the right to handle your affairs in the event that you became incapable of doing so, among other things.” I wasn’t even going to ask what those ‘other things’ were. It didn’t seem worth the fight since it wasn’t something that was going to happen.
“Fine, but what about kids? I’m not sure if I want them or not, but I don’t want it on a timetable or a requirement regardless. That other stuff has to go too. It’s my body, not your father’s to dictate what happens to it. Besides, you have a brother to carry on the precious family line if need be.” My arms crossed firmly over my chest; I wasn’t messing around with that one. I was nineteen, there was plenty of time to make decisions like that without being forced into it.
Indignation all but burst from Dirk. “Why do you have to poke your nose where it’s only going to cause problems?” Quietly but no less vehemently, he dropped the bomb that shattered my argument. “Rafe isn’t my father’s. I’m his only child and heir. That’s why he treats Rafe like crap, but he won’t publicly disown him and air the dirty laundry. So, yes, it is up to me to continue the family line.” I didn’t know quite how to pull my foot back out of my mouth, but surely something could be done about the provisions in the prenup to make them more palatable. Except, Dirk wasn't giving me that option. “Sign or don’t, Shelby. One way or another, I’ll be getting married. Please let me know if I need to have the Gazette print a retraction and correct the name of the bride-to-be.” With that parting shot, he walked out and left the door open behind him. I could see part of Carter a little down the hall and wondered why he’d taken up his post when he’d been gone earlier, but I was too upset to dwell on it.
I had an impossible choice to make, and no matter which way I went, I’d lose a piece of myself.
* * *
In the end, despite my attorney’s many protestations, I signed the agreement, essentially giving away my ability to make my own life choices. Despite the few changes made, it wasn’t what I wanted, but I’d reasoned with myself that Dirk’s father wouldn’t live forever. He was older and sick with a heart condition that was maintained for now, but it would eventually take his life. I just had to wait him out, and then Dirk and I could live how we wanted for the rest of our lives. Because that agreement hadn’t only pertained to me; Dirk had quite a few requirements and conditions to meet and abide by himself. Mr. Caldwell hadn’t been given that portion until we were all in a meeting room, Dirk’s office having been deemed too crowded to continue in. My attorney hadn’t been happy with the omission, but as it didn’t pertain to me, he couldn't really cause too much of a fuss.
And so the whirlwind of planning and preparing began. If only I’d realized how much it would all entail, I’d have begged Dirk to elope and screw the terms that gave his father the final say over even our wedding.