Dare Me by Ella Frank
Bash
I FIRED OFF another email and skimmed through the rest that had come in overnight to see which were most urgent and in need of my attention. Everyone would be arriving at the office soon, and I wanted to get a head start before the morning meeting.
I’d left Chicago before nailing down the manager position, and so many of the emails were resumés from headhunters I’d worked with in the past. Zoom interviews would do until I narrowed down the field, and then, what the hell, I could always fly them down here for the final decision. Chicago had left a bad taste in my mouth, which was unfortunate, since I’d just locked myself into a contract there, but nothing I could do about it now. I’d made my bed and now I had to lie in it.
Without Kieran.
Ugh, don’t think about him. Don’t think about any of it. I refocused on the resumés, or tried to, until out of the corner of my eye I saw Jackson walk in and do a double take when he saw me through the glass walls of my office. I hadn’t let him or anyone know I was back. No doubt he’d bombard me in about two seconds with way too many questions, and I wasn’t up for it.
I didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to think. Just wanted to immerse myself in work so I’d have something to stay focused on other than the mix of stupidity, embarrassment, and heartache all vying for the top spot inside.
Jackson knocked on the door but didn’t wait for me before entering my office. I didn’t bother looking up, because I could feel his eyes boring into me as it was.
“You’re back earlier than expected.”
“Mhmm.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
I scrolled down the current resumé on my screen and paused. “Hofstra University. That’s in New Jersey?”
“New York. Long Island, I believe.”
“Hmm.”
“I take it your changing the subject means no, you don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Perceptive.”
“This about the firefighter? Did something happen?” When I kept my mouth sealed shut, Jackson sighed. “Okay, well, when did you get in?”
“Yesterday.” Before he could ask me one more thing, I added, “Morning meeting at nine.”
“Bash.” Jackson waited until I finally looked up at him, and there it was, that twinge of sympathy I didn’t want to see.
“Everything is peachy keen, darling, so if we can please focus on work today instead of inconsequential matters, that would be marvelous.” I took a sip of my coffee, still steaming hot in my traveler’s mug, and sat back in my leather chair, waiting for his agreement.
Luckily, he didn’t seem to be in a fighting mood today. “Is there anything you need before the meeting?”
I smiled. “I think I’m all caught up, but thank you, Jackson. You did a fabulous job while I was away—maybe too good.”
“Nah, I’m glad you’re back. It’s not the same here without you.”
“Aww. Flattery will get you everywhere.” When Jackson opened his mouth to say something—something I knew would be related to a certain firefighter—I held up my hand. “Almost everywhere.”
“Well, I guess I don’t need to tell you I’m here when you want to talk.”
“No, and I won’t need to.”
“Bash, you can’t always keep everything in—”
“I changed my mind. I’ll need the latest stats on the Fowler campaign before the meeting.”
Jackson’s head fell back and he stifled a groan of frustration. But when he looked back at me, he nodded. “On it.”
The entire office space of AnaVoge, apart from the lobby, was one big open area except for a few offices that lined one side of the room. But even the offices were four walls of glass with shutters pulled back unless absolutely necessary. I wanted things to be modern, minimalist, and transparent in every way.
Which meant I could see Jackson enter his office and immediately take out his phone to text what I knew was a group message to the others about me. Oh well, at least he’d dropped the subject for the time being, which was all I could ask for. It was enough to have the image of Summer kissing Kieran seared into my brain for all eternity, not to mention the fact that it kept popping up constantly no matter how much I tried to forget it.
And God had I tried. I’d kept my phone off, watched horrible trash TV on the plane, and taken a sleeping pill to keep my ass asleep once I got home. Avoidance wasn’t the most mature way to go about things, but self-preservation was more important.
Unfortunately, I knew I couldn’t keep my phone off forever.
I opened my desk drawer where I’d shoved my cell earlier and took it out, my finger hovering over the on button. There was no winning situation here, because if Kieran had called, it would be painful, but if he hadn’t called… Yeah, the latter would probably be worse.
It took a few seconds for the phone to power back up, and when it did, message after message came through, and yep—some of them were from Kieran.
Just check them and get it over with or you’ll sit here wondering all day.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I brought up the voicemail he’d left, and as soon as I heard his voice, my heart constricted.
“Hey, it’s Kieran. I’m at the Regent, and they’re telling me you’ve checked out. I’m not really sure what’s goin’ on, so give me a call when you get this.”
So he’d shown up after all. Was that before or after he’d gone to Summer’s?
A wave of guilt crashed over me as I checked his texts. They’d been sent before the voicemail, and asked if I was still in meetings, if it was cool if he came by the hotel, and if everything was okay.
Part of me felt like such an asshole. I wasn’t the person who dipped out on someone, and definitely not someone I cared about. But that was the problem: I cared about Kieran, and that was why what I saw at the firehouse had hurt so badly. Everything became clear in that moment, and I knew the way things would go down. He’d come over, we’d have it out, things would end badly, and on and on.
So really, I would’ve only been prolonging the inevitable by staying. At least me leaving gave things a clean break, and in a few days he’d forget I even existed.
I sniffed and ignored the sting behind my eyes. If there was anything I prided myself on, it was being unforgettable, so the thought I’d be so easily erased from Kieran’s life didn’t sit well with me. Not at all. But it was necessary.
Several messages came through all at once, from Lucas, from Shaw, from Trent, and I looked over to where Jackson sat behind his desk and shook my head. He just shrugged, a grin on his face that told me he didn’t care one bit that he’d set off the alarm to cause the others to hound me. I ran a finger across my neck, and he responded by blowing me a kiss.
Who needed enemies with friends like mine?
