The Retaliation You Deliver by Tracy Lorraine
Leon
“Do you think you should go and check on her?” I ask, realizing that Peyton has been in the diner bathroom for longer than probably necessary.
“Nah, she’ll be out in a bit,” Luca says confidently over his mug of coffee.
We drove for about an hour after I woke up from my nightmare. The atmosphere in the car was unbearable as we all sat there in silence, lost in our own thoughts.
I want to know what they’re thinking, how they thought I ended up here, I’m pretty confident that whatever conclusions they’ve come up with aren't anywhere near the reality.
“So your dirty weekend didn’t exactly go as planned then,” Luca deadpans, changing tack from previously just asking me outright what the hell I’m playing at.
“No, not entirely,” I admit, although if I’m being honest with myself, I got exactly what I came here for.
I finally got to play my hand with Macie and I’ve got that cunt’s location.
So why don’t I feel like I’ve actually achieved anything?
All I feel is guilt.
Guilt and loss.
“So is she from Miami then or was it just a random getaway to keep her hidden away from me?”
“I wasn’t hiding her,” I mutter.
“Sure. That’s why the only people who have met her are Letty and Kane. What are you so worried about? It’s not like I’m going to steal her from you.”
“It’s complicated.”
“When isn’t it?”
Finally, movement over by the bathrooms catches my eye and when I look up, I find Peyton heading our way.
“Everything okay?” Luca asks her.
Peyton flashes me a look and I can’t help but wonder what I’m missing here.
“Yeah. All good. I’ve got the address you need too.”
She passes Luca her cell and he stares down at it. His brows lift momentarily.
Already bored of trying to figure out what they’re talking about, I slide out from the booth.
“I’m going to take a piss.”
Pushing through the bathroom door, I stop in the middle of the room and suck in a deep breath.
I thought I had everything figured out, thought I had a plan and that as I put each piece of the puzzle together, things would start to make more sense.
But now that I’ve got what I’ve been searching for, I feel even more lost than I did before.
I should be shouting for joy that I can find Richard Fletcher and finally show him just how wrong he was to mess with me all those years ago. I’ve got Macie exactly where I’ve always wanted her. Broken and regretting ever walking away that day. So why don’t I feel good about any of it?
I do what I came in here to do before heading back out.
The booth the three of us were sitting in is empty, a few bills sitting on the table and when I glance out of the windows, I find Peyton and Luca standing beside his car deep in conversation; about me I’m sure.
“Let’s go,” I bark as I approach, making them jump apart like naughty school kids.
Yep, definitely talking about me.
“I need some fucking sleep.”
They both stare at me for a beat, my eyes flicking down to the cut in Peyton’s lip from when I hurt her earlier.
I really am just fucking all this right up.
The remainder of the drive back to Maddison is as silent as the journey to the diner.
Every few minutes I sense Luca looking at me in the rearview mirror.
Initially, I just glared back, not allowing him to see beneath the mask I’ve got firmly in place. But as the minutes and miles pass, I begin to give up caring and allowing my mask to slip.
Letting him see how fucked up and broken I am. I’m sure in the coming hours he’s going to finally drag—or beat—the truth out of me.
My time for hiding is over.
My hands tremble with thoughts of how I’ll say the things he thinks he wants to hear. He thinks that by learning the truth that he’ll be able to help me. What he doesn’t know is that I’m long past the point of help. I’ve been drowning in this darkness for too long to believe that one painful confession will fix the broken parts of me.
By the time we pull up outside our house, I’m more than ready to dive head first into my bed. My body aches, I stink to the point I’m surprised neither of them has complained and I’m fucking exhausted. If the events of the night before weren’t enough to wipe me out then this morning surely did.
“Lee, wait,” Luca calls as I all but run toward the house. I stop but I don’t turn around. I’ve already seen enough pity in his eyes this morning to last me a lifetime. “Take your time. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
“I’ll never be ready,” I mutter.
“Well time’s run out, brother. Deal with your shit and get yourself together then we’re talking.”
My heart is like a runaway train in my chest knowing how that conversation is going to go, but I know I’ve got to finally get it over with.
* * *
It’s almost six hours later when I finally pull the door open and step out of the safety of my room.
My hand trembles as I pull it closed behind me. I want to believe that if I’m quiet enough, I might just be able to sneak out of the house unnoticed and put this off just a little while longer, but I know it’s wishful thinking because I hear them downstairs waiting for me.
I think Luca thought we were going to have this heartbreaking conversation one-on-one. In the past, that’s always how I’ve imagined it going. But right now, on the brink of bleeding my darkness out all over him I realize that it needs to be more than just him.
“Hey, how are you doing?” Letty asks, jumping up from the couch and racing toward me. She has no idea what I’m about to confess but she knows it’s huge and as she wraps her arms around me, I can’t help but feel her support. She’s going to be the one to help me get through this as whole as a broken me can be, and Peyton is going to be the one to support Luca.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispers in my ear. “Whatever it is, you know you’ve got us.”
I nod, unable to speak around the lump in my throat.
Taking my hand, she leads me over to the couch she was sitting on. I sit directly opposite Luca who has Peyton pinned to his side.
We stare at each other as the atmosphere in the room grows heavy.
“Lee, I know you’re—”
“Macie isn’t just some random girl I picked up,” I blurt out, deciding to start with her; it seems like the easiest thing to talk about right now.
“I know. Peyton got her address. She’s William Fletcher’s kid. Richard Fletcher’s niece. You went after her for a reason, didn’t you?”
“I’ve been looking for her for a few years, yeah. But the night I found her, it was by complete accident. I was about to bang her roommate and she stormed in and…” I trail off, I’m sure they don’t need the full details of that night.
Letty’s hold on my hand tightens, letting me know that she’s still here with me.
“Why were you looking for her?”
“She… uh… she knew something about me, was hiding information I needed.”
Luca’s eyes narrow. “You met her before? When we were at camp she was always hidden away like a princess locked in her ivory tower.”
“She was yeah, but she saw something she was never meant to. I never spoke a word to her until a couple of weeks ago.”
“I’m confused,” Peyton says, her brows drawing together.
Luca quickly fills her in on who the Fletchers are before they both turn back to me.
“What did she see, Lee?”
I suck in a breath knowing that I’m not going to be able to talk around this and find a way out of it.
“R-Richard Fletcher. He wasn’t… wasn’t the man everyone thought he was.”
Luca’s eyes narrow in confusion.
“Why? What was he really like?”
“He was… He… Fuck.” I drop my head into my hands. Even after all these years, I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.
I thought it would go away, that I’d be able to keep it hidden forever.
I hoped I’d find him and put my demons to rest by getting my revenge. That might still happen, I guess. But not before I have to spill my guts to the very last person I ever wanted to know the truth.
“What did he do, Lee?” Letty says softly, wrapping her arm around my waist, holding my trembling body tight.
I breathe in. Then breathe out. Trying to keep myself under control. My fists clench and unclench as I try to form some words, anything to put an end to this.
“He was an abusive cunt who wasn’t only interested in having boys at his home for football,” I say in a rush hoping that they won’t catch it and I can just leave it at that.
The second Letty’s sob rips through the silence though, I know she understood every word of it.
Her other arm wraps around me as she presses her face into my shoulder, her tears soaking my shirt instantly.
I fight to stay in place and be what she needs me to be, but every muscle in my body screams to get up, to run, to try and put those few words behind me like they never left my mouth.
“No,” Luca spits. “N-no. We went there every summer. You loved it there. It was… it w-was—”
I look up at him and the second my eyes connect with his watery ones he sees the truth.
“No,” he sobs. “No. Please. Tell me you're lying.” I hold his stare, unable to do as he requests. “Goddammit, Leon,” he booms. “Tell me you’re fucking lying. Tell me he didn’t—FUCK,” he roars, jumping up from the couch and storming out of the room.
“Lee, I’m sorry, I—” Peyton looks between me and the door Luca just stormed through.
“Go. I’ll be okay.”
“O-okay.” She’s gone in a flash leaving me alone with Letty who’s still clinging to me like her life depends on it.
“I’m not going to shatter, Let. It’s okay,” I say, gently pulling her away from me and taking her hand in mine.
“All those times we joked about secrets, never did I think that—” She hiccups, cutting off her words.
“It’s okay.”
“No, Leon. It’s not. It’s really fucking not.” Her bottom lip trembles as she speaks. “He hurt you, he r-rap—”
“Shh,” I comfort her when her voice cracks on that word. “It was a long time ago.”
“I don’t care, Leon. He had no right to do that. You were a kid.” She trembles with anger for me as she holds my gaze.
I’m so fucking relieved that they’re full of fire and fight instead of pity and sympathy.
“I want to fucking kill him for you.”
“Why do you think I’ve been looking for him, Cupcake?”
Her eyes widen.
“No. No, Lee. You can’t. If you get caught then he’ll completely ruin your life. Fuck, please. Don’t do that.”
“Jesus, Let. I’m not going to walk up to him with a gun in public and shoot him point blank for the world to see.”
“O-okay, g-good,” she sniffles. “So what are you going to do?”
I shrug.
“You know where he is though?”
“Thanks to Macie, yeah.”
“Fucking hell. Macie. What have you done to her?”
“She’s in Miami at her uncle’s place.”
“That wasn’t what I asked.”
“She knew, Letty. She stormed into his office one day and… she saw what was happening.”
“Holy shit. Did she know it was you?”
“You think she would’ve let me anywhere near her if she knew it was me?”
“Macie is a good person, Leon. I’m sure you’ve figured that out over the past couple of weeks.”
Have I? Or will my opinion of her always be tainted by our past?
“It doesn’t matter. I needed her to help me find him, and she led me right to him.”
“So that’s it. Everything between you was fake, everything you said you felt for her was a lie?”
“Means to an end.” I shrug. It’s cold, I know it is. But it’s the truth.
Macie was right. Me and her, we’d never work.
The player and the nerd. It’s not exactly how things go.
I’m sure she’s got a plan for her life and following me to whatever city I end up in probably isn’t at the top of her to-do list once she graduates. Not that I think we’d ever have made it that far should anything have continued.
“That’s bullshit, Lee, and you know it.”
“Do I? She was a pawn in my game, Cupcake. Why do you think I never intended on her meeting any of you.”
“Oh,” she says with a laugh. “So that’s why you took her to a Harris party. You thought none of us would be there.”
“You weren’t meant to make friends with her,” I mutter.
“Well, I did. And while I might be devastated for what you’ve been through, Lee. While I might sit here and hold your hand and cry with you, don’t think I’m not fucking furious with you for treating her like a piece of shit.”
“She never helped me, Letty. She knew and she did nothing.”
“She was a child. What did you really expect her to do? Her only guardian was an abusive cunt of a man. You really think she was going to go up against him?”
A shudder of fear runs down my spine again at the possibility of him hurting her.
“He never touched her.”
“Oh, know that for a fact do you? Because ten minutes ago none of us had a clue he ever touched you.”
“She was a virgin,” I shout, my frustration getting the better of me.
“Was?” Letty questions, one brow shooting up.
“Yeah, was. I stole that from her just like that cunt stole everything from me.”
All the blood drains from Letty’s face as she stares at me. It’s like suddenly she’s staring into the eyes of a stranger.
Of a monster.
Of him.
“Tell me you didn’t, Lee. For the love of God tell me you didn’t hurt her.”
A wicked smile curls up at the corner of my lips as I remember sinking into her tight pussy for the fight time and how fucking good it felt.
“Oh, yeah, I hurt her. But she was fucking begging for it.”
I don’t see her hand coming, but I sure as fucking feel it as her palm connects with my cheek in a burning slap.
“Who even are you?” She spits, her lip curled in disgust. “I get that this is hard, Leon. I get that you’re hurting. But she doesn’t deserve any of this. She’s good, innocent, pure, and you fucking ruined her.”
“Just like he did me. Karma’s a bitch.”
She stares at me for a beat longer before following Luca’s lead and storming from the room.
Well… that went well.
* * *
I sit on the couch with my head in my hands for the longest time alone in our living room.
I knew this would happen.
The second they discovered the truth, all of them have run from me.
I get it. I’m tainted. Poisoned.
With a groan, I push up from the couch knowing there’s only one thing I can do right now. Only one person I can visit.
It’s been days since I beat him within an inch of his life, he’s long overdue for a visit from his favorite son.
The second I step into the hallway, I hear their voices from the kitchen.
Anger swirls around me that they haven’t got the fucking balls to talk with me in the room but are happily gossiping about me when I’m not there.
“I’m glad I’ve given you all some fucking entertainment.”
Three guilty faces turn my way.
“No, Lee, that’s not what—”
“Do what you want. Talk away. Try to imagine what it’s like. I’m going out.”
Without hearing another word from them, I storm out of the house without thinking.
Once I get outside, the spot in the driveway where my car is usually parked is empty.
Fuck. My car.
Storming back into the house, I march straight up to Luca.
“Give me your keys.”
“Uh… I… uh…”
“Give me your fucking keys.”
“Fine,” he sighs in defeat, digging his hand into his pocket before throwing them at me. “Don’t fucking break her.”
“Would I?” I ask, rolling my eyes and turning my back on them and storming from the house again before Luca can remind me of what happened to his very first car.
I don’t need to hear him tell me about how I wrote off his first love when I collided with a wall.
It was an accident. One he’s never going to let me forget.
The second the engine rumbles to life beneath me, I feel a little more settled.
I love driving, it’s one of the only ways I found I can really forget and put things behind me, well… until Macie.
Being in her company made everything go quiet.
With her miles away in Miami right now, and with the memories of what I just told everyone in that room rattling around in my head, everything is as loud as it’s ever been.
And I need it gone.
I’m on the verge of getting everything I ever wanted.
Revenge on Macie and vengeance on her uncle.
Yet, I don’t feel anything like the relief I expected to feel when the time finally came.
If anything, I feel more lost than ever.
I drive on autopilot as my head spins with the events of the past twenty-four hours. My grip on the wheel is tightening until my knuckles turn white and the almost healed cuts from my last visit to my father are splitting open once more.
I sit in Luca’s car outside of the warehouse, which holds my prisoner and I stare at the dark building.
What happens next?
I’ve got to Macie. I can get to Richard. Okay, so Macie could warn the staff or even move him before I get a chance to make my move, but something tells me she won’t.
Then there’s Brett.
I’ve wanted him gone for years.
I’ve hated him for as long as I can remember, not only for how he cast me aside but for the incredible pressure he put on Luca, the way he ignored Shane, and how he’s treated our mother.
All of us deserved better than him.
He might have provided us with money and all the opportunities we could have wanted—well, as long as they involved football—but that’s not what’s important.
Money doesn’t buy happiness. I should know. I’ve been fucking miserable for as long as I can recall.
Until you were with her.
I force my thoughts down.
I’ve done what I needed to do. Whatever that was between Macie and I, it’s over.
Dead.
Forgotten.
Okay, so maybe not forgotten.
Without meaning to, she gave me something I’ve never experienced from anyone else. But no matter how her acceptance of me, even the dark and ugly parts I allowed her to see, meant to me. It’ll never be enough for me to get past that one small moment in time all those years ago.
She’ll always be that little girl to me who left me to the slaughter.
Sucking in a steeling breath and forcing thoughts of her from my mind, I climb out of the car.
Darkness surrounds me where I’m deep in the cover of trees now that the headlights are off. It’s not quite dark out yet, but it’s almost there. I know that by the time I come back out, I’m not going to be able to see my hand in front of my face.
I’m halfway to the warehouse when a noise, the crack of a twig and the rustling of leaves in the undergrowth catches my attention.
I spin on the spot, my heart in my throat, as I expect to see the shadow of someone approaching.
But there’s no one there.
I stand motionless in the darkness waiting to hear it again, convinced the noise was made by a person, but when nothing but the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves fills my ears, I figure that it must just be an animal.
I’m being paranoid, I know I am. My need to keep what I’ve done here from everyone is eating at me.
Even now that they know the truth, I’m not sure they’d understand this.
Hell, I’m not even sure if I understand this.
Confident that no one is about to jump out at me, I turn back toward the building and head inside in the hope of finding some peace while delivering some pain.
The beast inside me sings with joy and my fists curl.
Fuck, I really need this.
