unREASONable by Arya Matthews

Track 35

Marshall

A week before the festival, CJ and I come to the rehearsal room together. Alexandra’s already there, fidgeting with the knobs on her bass.

“Is something wrong?” CJ takes the bass out of her hands.

Alexandra looks at me, purses her lips, then turns away. “No. I was just trying to memorize the settings for the festival.”

CJ lays the bass on top of our huge bass amp. “That’s next week. You’ll be great. Our fans are gonna love you.”

“They’re gonna hate me. I’m new and inexperienced and—”

I want to tell her that I’m not worried at all about her performing with us and that I don’t mind if she stays, but CJ flashes Alexandra a flirting smile, the high-octane one that has girls swooning left and right, and I hesitate. I’ve never seen him smile at her like that.

Hmmm. I consider the revelation. Why does he never flirt with Alexandra the way he does with other girls? The answer is simple, of course. She’s taking his place, so he needs to show her respect, but what was that just now?

“They have no choice.” CJ rubs her shoulders. “They’ll love you because I love you.”

Alexandra’s eyes widen with questions that mirror my own. What does he mean by that love?

Stealing a sideways glance at me, CJ takes another step toward her and kisses her.

I stumble backward. He kisses her here, now, with me in the room? There’s no reason why not. He’s serious about her. I already knew he was. That’s why he didn’t try any of his usual tricks on her. He wants more from Alexandra than the fleeting awe he gets from everyone else.

Alexandra slides her hands around his neck and leans into the kiss. My knuckles pop as I ball them into fists.

I wanted this. I wanted CJ to be in a relationship with Alexandra, wanted her to like him back.

I hate this.

And I did this to myself.

I clear my throat. “Don’t mind me.”

CJ pushes away from Alexandra and stumbles over to his guitar. That’s a weird reaction to have after kissing someone you’re so into.

“You two are okay?” Alexandra picks up her bass again and starts her warm up routine. “You both look kind of pale. I hope you’re not getting sick or anything. There’s no time for this now.”

“I’m fine,” CJ rasps out, looking at me with his jaw clenched hard, his expression shifting between infuriated and guilty, weirder than weird.

Alexandra’s right though. We all need to pull it together and focus on the festival. On keeping her with the band.