unREASONable by Arya Matthews
Track 34
Marshall
It’s early March, and the Tangs are in town on business, so they stop by for lunch and to check on the property.
“The whole gang is here.” Seo-yun greets us each with a kiss on the cheek then looks around. “Wait, where is the princess?”
CJ explains, “Alexandra’s with Kiera. Whatever they’re doing, she’ll be gone all day, apparently.”
We were not informed of their activities. Kiera dropped by in her shiny black Tesla and took Alexandra away first thing in the morning.
Seo-yun props her fists against her hips. “I bet you lot make her life impossible.”
I attempt to defend the band. “Everyone is really nice to Alexandra.”
Zach’s mother sees right through me. “I knew it. It’s you who causes her the most grief.”
Shane snorts a laugh and goes into the kitchen to help prepare lunch along with Zach, his dad, CJ, and Graham. I try to follow, but Seo-yun holds me by the arm. “You’ve always been the troublemaker. What did that poor girl do to you?”
I hug her with one arm and try to pull her out of the entryway. “Nothing. I promise.” She will never buy it.
“You listen to me, Marshall Jones,” Seo-yun says in a tone that bears no arguing. “I raised four children, and then I got the four of you. I’ve learned a few things in the process. Young people think no one else understands them or sees what’s on their minds, but trust me when I say, your feelings toward that sweetie are more obvious than you think. You spent nearly two weeks at my house during the holidays and did nothing you typically enjoy—singing, playing guitar, drinking gallons of that nasty stuff you love so much, pulling pranks on the kids. Nothing’s changed with our family. The only thing that was different was Alexandra. From what I’ve seen, she’s wonderful. So what’s the problem?”
I don’t need any more lectures on the matter, but I don’t want to offend Seo-yun either. “There isn’t a problem. Alexandra is wonderful, but—”
“But what?”
“But nothing. There’s nothing between us.”
Seo-yun relinquishes her grip on my arm with a sigh. “You boys think you can do whatever you want. You got the talent, the fame, the money, the looks. What I fail to see in any one of you is brains. None of you can keep a girl, except Shane, of course. When your fame is gone, you’re going to be all by yourself, trying to figure out the rest of your lives. You don’t think you need family because Project Viper’s good enough for now. But family is the only thing that matters. And before you know it, all the good girls will move on to men who want them and who treat them right.”
I nod. There’s nothing I can say in my defense.
“Marshall, you worry me the most. You burn the brightest. You’ve got the most to lose, yet you don’t have an anchor of any kind. Stop being so stubborn. Let Alexandra in.”
“CJ claimed her,” I mutter and almost curse.
No one’s supposed to know I have…that I had feelings for Alexandra. Ever. Now Zach’s mother won’t leave me alone until she’s heard the whole story. But Seo-yun is quiet for an uncomfortably long moment before she pats me on the shoulder and finally proceeds inside.
> <
Seo-yun’s words keep haunting me days after the Tangs visit. I go for a drive and end up parking on the side of the road, late in the evening, miles away from town. The night is quiet, there isn’t anyone to intrude on me, and I can sort through my thoughts.
You don’t think you need a family because you never had any.
That’s the only thing that matters.
It’s not the only thing that matters. There’s friendship, loyalty, music, accomplishing hard things. Guitars, cars, trips around the world, fans. All these things make a life complete. Fulfilled. Not lonely.
Who am I kidding? I am so lonely. I hide it well because I can talk to CJ and the others about absolutely everything. They have my back. They know my quirks and accept me all the same, and I’d give my life for them.
But meeting Alexandra shifted something in my soul. All I can think of is the times her eyes glowed with hope and excitement when she looked at me. Or the times her face was shadowed by confusion and struggle. There were too many times like that. She didn’t deserve any of my anger. I wish I saw what I was really doing. I wish I could take it all back and lift her up instead of indulging my insecurities.
Alexandra’s distanced herself from me. She doesn’t interact with me as much anymore, and when she does, I can’t read her. I miss her glances that filled me with something foreign, something I’ve never experienced. Not with any other girl.
I understand what Seo-yun meant. I never had a family in blood, but I can always make my own family.
With Alexandra.
She’ll never take me now. There’s also CJ.
My phone buzzes—a text from Fiona.
F Knight: Kiera sent me to deliver some papers to the president’s office, and I asked him in an indirect manner as to how they ended up picking Alexandra. He told me to tell you to stop nosing around.
I huff.
That’s great.
F Knight: Sorry. Maybe after the festival we’ll all know more. Maybe.
Thanks anyway.
I find the email Juliette sent me with that photo of Alexandra and me. I hesitate for a second, my thumb trembling slightly over the image icon. No. I won’t open it. What can’t be can’t be, no matter what everyone else sees.