unREASONable by Arya Matthews

Track 40

Alexandra

Marshall intertwines his arm with mine and pulls me toward the bus.

“Wait.” I hold him back. “What about… How are we…”

He chuckles. “Let them get it out of their systems tonight with the I-knew-its and I-told-you-sos and finallys.”

Already embarrassed, I want to run for my life, and going back into the minibus isn’t going to make anything better. “You’re right. Let’s just get it over with.”

To their credit, the guys deliver only a minimal amount of cheers and snickers.

When we’re back in our seats, much closer to each other this time, CJ turns toward me. “I only kissed you to prove to Marshall that you had no feelings for me. You kissed me back. Why?”

Both CJ and Marshall watch me with entertained expressions, and I itch to punch them for it. “Next time don’t go kissing a girl who, as you already know, doesn’t actually like you.”

CJ’s mouth drops. “You owe me an apology, Matryoshka.”

“I owe you an apology? You’ve lost your mind!”

“Go away.” Marshall pushes CJ back into his seat, hugs my arm, and whispers in my ear, “Why did you kiss him?”

Nibbling on my all too pleasantly swollen lip, I take a second to absorb my new reality.

I’m staying with the Vipers.

And Marshall finally explained himself, somewhat. He loves me.

It’s a challenge to process everything that’s happened, and my paranoia gets the best of me. What if I’m dreaming somehow?

Marshall trails a few kisses up my jaw and over my ear, sending shivers across my skin. “Why did you kiss CJ?”

“To spite you two, of course.”

“I knew it!” CJ exclaims from his seat.

Marshall pulls me into a hug. “We have so much to talk about. Your parents, for starters.”

I jerk to face him and bump our foreheads. “What about my parents?”

Marshall rubs his face. “Kiera told us.”

My chest constricts with panic. Oh no. No, no, no. “What did she say?”

“That they died a year ago. In a fire.” Marshall squeezes me tight and kisses me on the temple. “She didn’t give us any other details.”

At least she didn’t tell them about Connor, it seems. I breathe in and out and relax my shoulders. Marshall and I definitely have a lot to talk about when we get home.

> <

Back at the Nest, everyone assembles in the living room.

“I think it’s time to explain some things,” CJ says to me. “I can’t believe you withheld the truth about your family for so long. And I definitely don’t understand why.”

“You’re one to talk,” Charlie grumbles. “Do you go around telling people about your darkest, deepest fears and secrets? It’s not as if we know anything about your family. So quit it. Alexandra doesn’t owe anyone here her whole life story.”

CJ’s mouth drops. “Now, wait a minute—”

“It’s okay,” I say. Sitting on the ottoman while the others occupy the large sectional, I feel like a kindergartener stuck between two squabbling adults. The prospect of discussing my family threatens to turn me inside out, but I don’t see a way out of this. Not when five of my favorite people sit with faces that reflect various degrees of curiosity, confusion, and hints of hurt. “I will explain.”

“How about you start with why today was difficult?” Kiera suggests.

I swallow a lump in my throat.

No fear.

They won’t shred me to pieces or judge. The only one who has ever judged me is Marshall, and he’s already atoning for that.

I fidget with my fingers to hide that my hands are shaking. “I told you a while ago. My parents owned a smallish convenience store back in Saint Petersburg. The store was getting old and unpleasant, and they needed a loan to help with the remodeling, but all the regular banks turned them down. So, my dad borrowed from one of the local criminal leaders.” I pause to steady my voice. I can do this. “Then he had trouble paying it back. He made regular payments, but they were lower than what was agreed upon, and the lender got impatient. To get his point across, they set the shop on fire. As a warning. That’s what the actual culprit said in court later. To warn my parents to pay faster or else, you know? As though that made any sense. How were they supposed to pay faster if they had to borrow even more money to fix things after the fire?”

Tears start streaming down my face, and I choose to leave my pain exposed. I’m so worn out from keeping this a secret. I continue, “My parents were inside the shop, and the man who set the place on fire knew that. He said it was a small fire and they shouldn’t have had any problem getting out. But that’s not how it went. There are so many flammable things in shops like these. All the merchandise, the wallpaper, the floors, the ceiling tiles. Trying to save their livelihood, my parents lost their lives when the fire got too big and cut them off from the exits. Anti-burglary bars on the windows certainly didn’t help.”

“Why not tell us?” Shane asks. “We kept asking you about your family, your friends. You must’ve felt completely alone and sad and…”

I refrained from looking at anyone during my story, but now I’m curious to see Marshall’s reaction. He sits right in front of me, and it’s easy but also so hard to look at him, at his bouncing knee and solemn frown. “I didn’t want your pity.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Graham says, creating a flurry of shocked gasps from the girls. “You knew our backgrounds. You should have known we’d understand your pain better than anyone else.”

“That’s exactly why I kept it to myself,” I mutter, feeling more and more foolish by the second. Connor only forbade me to mention him around the Vipers and their team. He never told me to be quiet about my family. That was my own choice. “I grew up in a happy family. What right do I have to ask for anyone to feel sorry for me? Bad things happen to every—”

Marshall rises from his seat, grabs my hand, and pulls me onto his lap. “Graham’s right. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. But really, it doesn’t matter why you didn’t tell us. Trust is hard, and showing your soul to strangers is even harder.”

“I’m sorry.” I press my nose against his neck and inhale his scent. Complicated. Remnants of body wash, smells from the festival venue, and sweat. All Marshall. All mine.

For now, though, no matter how much I’m dying to get some time alone with him, I need to say one more thing to everyone.

I slide from Marshall’s lap and stand in the center of the room.

“Let’s try this again. I’m Alexandra. I’m twenty, an only child, have no living grandparents, uncles, or aunts, and my parents are also gone. Because of the way they died, I’m nervous around fire even though I didn’t actually witness their deaths. And until a few weeks before I came to the United States, I’d never held a bass of any kind in my life. I play a bit of guitar and love singing the most. Nice to meet you.”

Zach laughs, Charlie smacks him in the head with a cushion, and the two of them engage in a round of verbal sparring. Smiling, CJ shakes his head. Graham heads for the fridge and starts tossing popsicles out of the freezer onto the marble island, at which point Shane joins him. So do I. With a mouthful of frozen strawberry juice, I search for Marshall, but he’s already by my side.

“Nice to meet you too,” he says with an easy smile. “And when did you turn twenty? When Kiera first brought you here, you were nineteen.”

I groan on the inside. Can we not talk about this on top of everything else tonight?

The doorbell rings.

Yes! I’m saved.

Zach checks our security app and scrunches up his nose. “Crap.” He runs down the hallway, toward the main door. We all crane our necks and try to figure out what’s going on.

Connor walks into the living room. Zach follows in his shadow, his face nothing but nerves. The girls quickly retreat back to the sectional and sit close together, out of everyone’s way.

I swallow hard. Can today get any more insane? What is Connor doing here?

“Excellent,” he says. “Everyone is here.”

“Evening, Mr. President. To what do we owe the honor?” Shane asks. Judging by his lighthearted tone, he is joking, but I stare at Connor with my mouth open.

“President?” I ask. “Of what?”

Hands in the pockets of his gray slacks, Connor smiles. “The Label, of course. How did you think I had all those sweet connections?”

“You’re The Label’s president?” My tone comes off accusing, but I will not apologize for that. “You told me you had some good friends in high places!”

“And you told us you didn’t know the president.” Graham crosses his arms on his chest, one eyebrow raised.

I open my mouth to argue, come up with no comeback, try again, and end up saying, “I didn’t know he was the president.”

Connor nods. “I never told Alexandra what I did for a living. Not that it matters right now. Ladies, could you please give us the room for a bit?”

Elise pushes the rest of our support team to the door. “We’ll see you later.”

The girls say goodbye and leave. Kiera stays. Makes sense. She’s the manager. Whatever Connor has to say, she might need to know it too.