Grand Love by JC Hawke

11

Nina

Six stitches.The cut wasn’t overly deep but because of where it was on my chin, it wouldn’t stop bleeding. Vinny picked me up and took me to the hospital. I apologised for giving him the cold shoulder this past week and I hoped he would’ve told me more about Mason and the situation at The Earl Marks, but he didn’t. I respect him for staying loyal to his boss, but it’s hard to believe nothing happened when nobody will tell me what’s going on.

Mason didn’t stop calling while we were in the hospital, and I still haven’t called him back. Feeling guilty and more in control than I was in the gym earlier, I pick up my phone and dial his number. I don’t owe him an explanation, but I know I’d want to know if the shoe was on the other foot.

It rings out the first time, so I try him again.

“What?” he snaps on the second ring.

Great, he’s in a mood… I try to squash down my inner bitch. I need to keep it civil.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call before now. I thought I’d let you know that I’m home and everything is okay.”

“I know, Vinny called.”

“Oh, okay.” I pause, waiting for him to speak. “Is your leg okay?”

He huffs out a laugh and I cringe. He’s so pissed off. “No, no, it isn’t actually.”

“I’m sorry, Mase, it was an accident. I shouldn’t have been so careless.” I really did let my emotions get the better of me.

“What were you thinking? You could have hurt yourself far worse than a scraped chin.”

The way he belittles me makes me roll my eyes. How do you tell someone they make you want to throw punches without sounding like a bitch?

Keep it civil, Nina.

“Surely you knew I’d be annoyed when you ambushed me at work? It was my first day, Mason.”

“Ambushed you? I was the one who was ambushed!”

I roll my eyes again. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You haven’t seen my leg.”

My phone chimes, so I switch it to speaker to look. “What the hell is that?” I stare at the screen.

“My damn leg!”

I screw up my face, trying to work out what way the phone goes.

“Oh, wow.” Ouch, that does look nasty. His entire thigh is a reddish purple, the bruise still coming out.

“Yes, wow. I’ll see you when I pick Ellis up on Wednesday.”

“Mason.” He hangs up.

I look at the picture, his gym shorts are pulled up to his groin and it looks so damn painful. Guilt eats at me.

Nina: I’m sorry Mase. Really really sorry. It was an accident.

I sit and wait until three little dots bounce across the screen.

Mason: Just forget about it.

Nina: Do you have ice?

Nina: You should ice it.

Nothing. For the longest time I don’t get a thing back from him and I end up going to bed, completely knackered after a busy and chaotic first day.

My chin throbs as I lie back in my bed, and I wonder if it will scar. Why am I such an idiot? I should have left him to it, he wasn’t hurting me. I managed to cause a scene and injure us both.

My phone chimes with a text and I reach for it quickly to silence it, not wanting to wake Ellis.

Mase: I have ice.

Nina: Is it painful?

What a stupid question. Of course, it’s painful.

Mase: Is water wet?

I smile wide, feeling my dimple pop. If he is cracking jokes, then he forgives me.

Nina: I really am sorry.

Mase: I know you are.

Mase: Do you offer rehabilitation services at the gym?

Nina: I think Henry is trained in rehab. I can ask???

Mase: I don’t want Henry.

My stomach dips.

Nina: I’ve heard he is very good with his hands. They call them healing hands.

Mase: Are you not good with your hands?

Is he flirting with me?

Mase: What is it you do exactly?

Linger, pretend I know what the hell I’m doing. It’s been a day!

Nina: I PT.

Mase: So you could help me.

Nina: No.

Mase: Why?

Because I’d end up a puddle on the floor, or there would be a literal puddle on the floor if watching him today is anything to go by.

Nina: I don’t want to mix my homelife with work.

I don’t expect the words he sends back, and they gut me.

Mase: I’m not your home anymore. So that’s not a problem.

My smile drops and the force of it falling snaps me out of my bubble. Holding in the side button, I shut off my phone and slide it onto my bedside table. It probably wasn’t meant as a jab, but it sure feels like a punch to the gut. In just a few short minutes he had me eating out the palm of his hand, waiting on the edge for the next text.

My heart seems to want something that’s obtainable, and for me to give in to that need for him, I’d have to knock through the walls I’ve built solidly around it.

The trouble is, I’m learning that Mason has built his just as high.

* * *

If there isanything I love more than my son, and maybe dancing—although I’m so off dancing right now—it’s the buzz that lives in the four walls of the gym. It vibrates within me and follows me around like a hand to the back, propelling me to keep going.

I love it here. Although my studio was more sacred to me after months of building it up alone, L&M is everything I think I needed right now. To think I worked somewhere as stuffy as The Earl Marks, blows my mind. It just wasn’t me.

My only concern right now is the man-child who has just walked up the steps and into the gym. His eyes scan the room until they find me. I wonder if I will ever tire of looking at him. He is the picture of perfection—in my eyes anyway.

Is that what love truly is?

Loving someone through their scars, the imperfections and quirks that you learn to live with because you couldn’t go more than a day without seeing them, no matter how imperfect that vision is.

I’ve always seen the good in people, even when they have been bad to the bone.

“I didn’t think you’d be back after what happened.”

He stops beside me and looks out at the busy gym. “If I stop it will only make it worse.” He looks down at me, then focuses on my chin. He tips his head. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine.” I wave him off.

“Let me see,” he demands, taking my face in his hand and tilting my head back.

“Vinny didn’t tell me you had stitches.”

“He didn’t?”

“No,” he grits out, his face stony and pissed off.

“It’s healing well, it’s just—”

His thumb brushes over the broken skin. “Sore! Owww, don’t touch it!”

“I thought you said it was fine,” he tuts.

“It is.” Is he that stupid? “You shouldn’t touch it. I don’t know where your hands have been. It’ll probably get infected now.”

“Drama queen,” he scoffs, hitting me with a panty-melting smile. He seems to be in a good mood. I like it. “Will you PT me?”

I recoil, shaking my head. “What? No!”

He rolls his eyes and strolls off, ending the conversation. As if Mason fucking Lowell needs a PT. You only have to look at the man’s body to see he knows his way around a gym. He’s fitter than most of the men in this place. I’ve not had to train anyone yet, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want Mason as my first client, not when he would ridicule me on what I set for him. Because he would.

“Nina,” Logan calls from the office.

I go to his office and lean against the doorframe. “Yes?”

“Lowell wants PT, asked for you specifically.”

I frown over my shoulder at Mason who is now on the rower. His lip curls up on one side, making it obvious that he knows why Logan called me in here. Smug bastard. “I don’t want to PT him. Find someone else.”

Logan pops a brow, looking up from the sheet of paper in his hand. I never took him for the type of guy who’d end up in an office doing paperwork. “You know, it could be good for you both.”

“What are you, a couple’s councillor now, too?”

“Call it what you want. You have air to clear, so why not do that in a safe environment.”

“Because it’s not a safe environment. I’d probably end up choking him with the rowing machine cord, Logan. Do you have any idea how mad he makes me feel?” I thumb towards Mason who’s going hell to leather on the rower. “It would be completely unprofessional.” And just straight-up torture.

He watches me for a moment, deep in thought.

“What?” God, he probably thinks I’m being an ungrateful cow. He gave me a job and now I’m moaning about it.

“Come with me.” He stands and stalks past me.

I follow him out of the room, and to the door to the left of the office. “Where are we going?” I ask.

“You’ll see.”

He opens the door, and we are met with a flight of stairs that lead to another door. It’s dark and dingy and I don’t like it. I take the first step but pause. With a deep frown lining my brow, I turn, instantly locking eyes with Mason. He’s sitting prone on the rower, watching me with an apprehensive look on his face.

“Crack on, will you, I don’t have all day,” Logan chides at my back.

“You go first.” I step aside.

“Scaredy-cat.” Logan jogs up the steps and I follow, leaving the door open so we can see. “I will get a light put in here. We didn’t go past this level on the refurb.”

“Good idea.”

He’s probably sending me to the stockroom to count water bottles or something. But then, that’s probably safer than training the Adonis downstairs.

“Ready?” He grins down at me, his excitement giving me butterflies.

“No, why are you being weird?” I push his shoulder. “Stop being a creeper.”

I hold the back of his T-shirt, feeling on edge as he wiggles the handle.

Logan swings open the door, temporarily blinding me. Light pores into the small stairway, lighting up his face which is wide with a smile.

He flicks his head towards the room. “Check it out.”

I take the last step then stop short on the threshold, completely and utterly blown away. “Oh.”

“It’s been empty since I got the place.” He urges me forward, then shuts the door behind us. “I haven’t had a chance to clear it. As you can see, I’ve used it mostly for storage.”

The room is huge, the same size as the gym downstairs but filled with boxes and equipment. The windows are floor to ceiling and look out at London’s skyline. The floors are a light wood, scuffed and in need of some love, but the room as a whole has so much potential. “It’s…” I walk farther into the room.

“It’s yours to do what you want with.” He takes a set of keys from his pocket and chucks them to me. I don’t catch them. They hit me in the thigh then fall to the floor with a clang.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s yours.”

My first instinct is to laugh, it bubbles up my throat and fills the room for a couple seconds before I fall quiet again. I look around at the space. Everything needs fixing, but the bones of it are here, and with the floor-to-ceiling windows and sheer size of the room… it would make the most beautiful dance studio.

“What do you want me to do with it?”

He shakes his head. “You can do whatever you want, Anderson. I’m giving you free rein.”

“Why?”

“Lowell. Dickhead.” He grins. “I need you to PT him.”

My shoulders drop along with my short-lived excitement. “No.”

“I owe him one; help me out here. Please?”

I don’t like this. At all. “Why would he even want me to personal train him? It’s ridiculous.”

“I’ve had six guys request you since your shift on Monday.” He smirks as if he is loving this. “Mason was in when two of them asked, he didn’t like it. At all.”

“Six? Who?”

“Just some of the regulars, all of them after more than a PT session. They know not to push the boundaries so don’t worry about that and I won’t be putting you on with any of them.”

“So, this is just yours and Mason’s way of pissing on me. Making them think I’m unavailable.”

“This has nothing to do with me.” He holds his hands up in defence. “Although, I’d never let you date any of those assholes.”

“But you’ll happily push me in Mason’s direction,” I deadpan.

“You know he’s a good guy.” He bends and picks up the keys at my feet.

“He put you out of a job, Logan.” I shake my head, knowing Mason only ever tried to protect me when he did what he did. “I’m pissed at you.”

He just nods, as if he expected it. I hate that he has me backed into a corner, but I can hardly say no when he’s given me not only a job but potentially a studio.

It’s been so long since I danced.

“I’ll PT him,” I relent. “But surely you can see it’s a farce. He doesn’t need a PT.”

“Yeah and I asked you to PT him, I didn’t tell you how you should do it.” He winks. “I’m sure you can get inventive with it. He did put us out of a job after all.”

I tilt my head to the side. I think he is telling me to beast him, but I don’t voice it. The more I think on it, the more I think this could be fun.

“Anything you need for this place—”

“I will pay for myself. Don’t push it,” I cut him off, knowing what was coming next.

“What do you think you’ll do with it?” he asks, looking around with a knowing smile.

“I have an idea,” I tell him, mentally calculating what needs doing and what it might cost. I don’t have much in the way of savings right now, but I have a little. Especially now that Mum isn’t in contact.

“It might not happen right away—”

“Take your time. There’s no rush, no pressure,” he assures me.

“Thank you, Logan.” I take the keys from his outstretched hand, excitement buzzing in my gut.

* * *

“It’slike something out of a tacky romance movie.” Megan laughs into her wine glass as I conclude my week’s fuckery.

She isn’t far wrong. Mine and Mason’s entire relationship could be one big bad romance novel. “And Logan backed him on it. Apparently, I had six people request me for PT sessions, they clearly have no idea how terrible I’d be. Me with a bunch of girls in tutus fine—I can teach but put me one on one with a raging protein-filled muscle and I’d be screwed.”

“Raging protein-filled muscle.” Scarlet chuckles, her cheeks flushing. “That’s what she said.”

“You know what I mean!” I give her an elbow to the ribs as she snorts out a laugh.

“Personally, I think Logan is right. Maybe it’ll give you two the opportunity to clear the air once and for all,” she tells me, dropping her head to my shoulder.

I stare thoughtfully down at my coffee table. “I thought we already had.”

“The last time you saw him you got naked, actually.” Lucy cringes as she corrects me.

“Eww.” Scarlet lifts her head from my shoulder in disgust.

“Actually! The last time I saw him, I made a fool of myself in the middle of the gym and split my chin open. What if I’m just as terrible as that? I can’t train him.”

“I have every bit of faith in you. Stop worrying.” Lucy smiles. “This will be a good thing. Imagine if you can eventually be around each other and not want to kill one another. Or get naked,” she adds.

As much as I get what Lucy is saying, it feels impossible. Maybe—hopefully in time things won’t be as electric with Mase. Maybe one day I won’t feel the way I do about him. I don’t tell them about the room above the gym, mostly because I want to take my time, make sure it’s exactly what I want. It’s been a long time since I danced, well over a year, and I worry it won’t come to me like it used to.

“At least Mason is speaking to you,” Scarlet voices from beside me. “He’s been avoiding me.”

“He hasn’t phoned?” I ask, annoyed. I wish he would be better for her; I know the kind of man he can be and this isn’t it.

“No, but he did text last week. Asked if everything was okay. I mean, what does everything entail? The house? Me? Our parents’ graves? The entire estate I manage alone whilst studying medicine?”

“Someone should have a word.” Lucy peers over at me. “I could speak to Ell.”

“No!” Scarlet exclaims. “I don’t want him to be forced into it! If he cared, he would be there. I’m over it anyway.”

“You shouldn’t be left to deal with everything alone, Scarlet. Have you thought about renting the house out like he suggested?” Lucy asks.

“I could never.” She shakes her head vehemently.

When Scarlet decided to return to studying, Mason thought it would be a good idea to propose renting out the estate. I get the logic. She travels daily to the hospital, and she’s alone in the house at night, but I know without having to even ask her that she could never leave. He knows that too.

“I know, but with your studying do you think you can balance it all right now. What if you just offered a twelve-month tenancy?”

“I know it’s not my place,” I chime in, “but I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. I take Ellis out there as much as possible, and maybe it’s selfish for me to want you to stay but I would hate to see someone else live there.”

Scarlet smiles gratefully up at me, and I know she will appreciate me siding with her on this. “I couldn’t do it anyway; I love it too much.”

“Does it not get lonely?” Megan asks.

I watch as Scarlet swallows thickly, her throat bobbing. “Not really.”

“You are badass, lady.”

“We should come out, have a girls’ night there,” Lucy suggests.

“I was actually thinking of a party.” Scarlet sits up on the sofa a little. “Or like a memorial ball.” She shrugs.

“Fuck yes! Yes! We can go dress shopping!” Megan bounces in her seat excitedly. “Sorry, that was insensitive, the memorial part is super sweet too!” she adds. “Luce, can you get Jean to sort us dresses?”

I roll my eyes at Megan as Lucy and her buzz between themselves. I turn to Scarlet. “This sounds incredible, Scar. Do you need a hand planning?”

“I was banking on it if I’m honest. It was something I thought about a few months back but I wasn’t sure, but I hoped you girls would help me.”

“Of course.” I grin. “Have you thought much into it since?”

“Not really, but maybe Mum and Dad’s wedding anniversary would work date-wise? It’s only next month but I have contacts.”

I beam at her. “That sounds perfect.”

“And you’ll be safe from running into my asshole brother, so that’s one bonus. There’s no way he’d come.” She swigs her wine, hiding her face in the glass.

To think Mason and Scarlet have always been so close and now they’re barely speaking irks me. They should be helping each other, not avoiding contact. Mason is a big boy; he needs to be better and be there for his sister.

Oh, that asshole will be going to the ball alright. With fucking bells on.

* * *

I’m annoyed at myself.For the longest time, I knew I didn’t need Mason. I didn’t want to see him, I had our son, and lived alone as a single mother. But now I stand here with butterflies in my stomach waiting for him to arrive for his five fifteen PT session. How the times have changed.

He became the light in my dark heart for the longest time, but it burned too bright for too long and eventually he burnt me. Now he is starting to glow again, but it’s not the same light as before. It’s like a dull, yellow, annoying gleam that I can block out with the squint of an eye.

Five fifteen on the dot, he bounces up over the steps, ready to work out. He looks delicious this evening, but so does chocolate cake and too much of that causes diabetes. I wonder what too much Mason Lowell would cause… I go with severe vomiting and diarrhoea; it will help me get through the next hour.

He saunters over, drawing the eyes of nearly everyone in the gym.

“Hey.” He smiles, and I roll my eyes, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

“Hi,” I say sweetly.

I’m aware he hasn’t done anything wrong and already my attitude stinks, but I told Logan I didn’t want to PT him and yet here we are.

He frowns at my tone. “Everything okay?”

“Everything is perfect. Are you ready for your session?”

He licks at his lips, studying my face. Is he nervous? “Sure, can we start with—”

“Absolutely not. I have your session planned out already, silly.” I wrinkle my nose and smile. “Come on, let’s go get some cardio.”

Call me a bitch, but I want to see this man sweat.