Grand Love by JC Hawke

23

Mase

I brushmy fingers over Nina’s forehead, moving the hair back from her face. She’s so peaceful. The true meaning of beauty—for me.

Being here, in this house, it doesn’t bring back a haul of memories. There aren’t smells or sounds that creak in the night that have me reminiscing about being a child here. Instead, I feel somewhat restless. Like I shouldn’t be here at all.

“Nina.”

“Hmmm.” Her hand reaches blindly, smoothing over my chest as her legs tangle tighter with mine.

I smile, kissing her wrist. “Nina.”

She stirs again, her chest rising as she inhales deeply. “Time is it?”

“Three a.m.,” I whisper into her neck as she rolls to her back.

“Masseeee,” she moans, her brows drawing together.

“I owe you a dance.”

Her eyes flutter open, and I instantly feel seen. “Right now?”

I nod, kissing her forehead before rising from the bed.

“Where are you going?” she asks.

“To the ball.” I smile.

“I don’t have my clothes,” she complains, watching as I search for my shirt. I don’t miss the hint of excitement in her voice.

“Wear your dress.”

“It’s three a.m. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get into that thing? It’s tight.”

I crawl over her, blanketing her body with my own. “I want to dance with you in that dress.”

“And I want to sleep.” She cocks her head with a smile. Leaning in and kissing my lips. “Compromise.”

I glare at her, already knowing I won’t fight her on it. “Fine. Wear my shirt.”

She slips out from under me, bouncing on the tips of her toes as she bends to pick up my shirt. I watch her as she slides it over her shoulders and starts to button it up.

“Keep looking at me like that, Bossman, and we’ll be dancing in the sheets instead.”

“Maybe we should do that,” I muse, lying with my hands linked behind my head on the pillow. My cock grows harder the more buttons she does up.

She shakes her head. “Nuh-uh, I wanna dance with you.”

My heart swells in my chest. She wants to dance.

“Here.” She throws me my jacket and trousers, then pulls my boxers on.

“You sure you don’t want the jacket, too?” I say sarcastically.

She pulls her long hair up into a bun, then starts towards the door. “Only if it gets cold.” She winks. “Come on, Bossman.”

I take off after her as she slips from the room, still barefoot. I manage to get my jacket on before I reach the door but stumble into my pant leg as I try to catch up to her.

“Shhh! You’ll wake Ellis!” She chuckles, watching me struggle.

Once I have my trousers buttoned, I rush her, grinning wide when she lets out a shrill squeal. Lifting her over my shoulder, I descend the stairs, letting her down when we reach the bottom. Voices carry from the kitchen; I frown as I try to make them out.

I hear Scarlet, and—

“Mase, come on.” She drags me to the front door.

* * *

Nina

My feet padalong the cool paving slabs as I lead the way to the marquee. Mason is right on my heels, his hands reaching for me and roaming my torso. “It’s cold, you can have my jacket.”

“And leave you with a pair of trousers?” She giggles. “No.”

We reach the opening to the marquee, and Mason pulls out a key. I frown as he quickly unlocks the padlock and opens the door.

When did he get the key?

“I’ll find the generator. Wait here.”

He disappears, leaving me standing in the entrance of the moonlit tent. Pulling on his shirt sleeves, I cross to the room and duck down behind the bar, looking for the matches we used earlier in the evening to light the candles.

Ten minutes later, Mason comes back into the marquee, a hard expression on his face as he looks down at his phone then puts it to his ear.

“What’s wrong, who are you calling?”

“Vinny, I can’t get the generator working.”

Lifting his head to look at me, he takes in the room that’s now lit up in a white glow. His face morphs into a smile, and he pockets his phone.

“You were going to call Vinny to come fix the generator at three o’clock in the morning?”

“So?” he says defensively.

“He’s with our son.” Something about that statement makes my stomach dip. Our sweet Ellis.

“He’s a heavy sleeper, like his mother.” His handsome face starts to relax.

I shake my head as I approach him. “What?” He grins, running his hands over my waist and down to my behind, giving it a firm squeeze. “I pay Vinny well.”

“Oh yeah, of course,” I say sarcastically. “Makes it totally acceptable and okay to—”

“Nina,” he whispers.

I smile. “What?”

“Shut the fuck up.” He slides his lips over mine, taking his time to find a rhythm before he deepens the kiss. His arms band around my body; keeping me locked tightly to him. I struggle to think of any other place I’d rather be at this moment.

After what feels like hours he pulls away, lips swollen and glossy. “I don’t have any music. But if you’ll have me as I am?”

I take his outstretched hand, a grin stretching my face. “Ever the gentleman, Mr Lowell.”

He lifts a brow. “Hmm, I don’t know. Would a gentleman want to fuck every inch of you until you can no longer take any more of him?”

I do a little two-step, trying to keep my face straight. “I mean, I never wanted to be a lady anyway.” I jump up into his arms, locking my feet behind his back. He spins me, and I drop my head back, letting my body go lax for him as we both laugh freely.

“When was the last time you danced?” he asks, pulling me upright with a hand to my back.

My legs slide to the ground and we start to sway. “It was in the penthouse. You were in the shower, and I was supposed to be warming up our dinner.”

He watches me intently; his hand drawing circles on my shoulder. “What song did you play?”

I feel stupid for remembering, but he doesn’t judge me for it. “The Goo Goo Dolls, ‘Iris’.”

His lips brush my temple, then he spins me.

I step back into him, lifting my leg and leaning into him. He moulds to me, following my lead.

I get lost in our movements, our bodies swaying to the sound of our own heartbeats. For the first time in over a year, I dance, and not in the conscious way I move around a dance floor with my girls. I dance how I always used to dance. Freely.

“You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.”

I laugh as he dips me back, kissing my jaw. “I’m serious. Vinny said it too. You looked phenomenal in that dress. And when you came to me with Ellis.” His eyes are glazed and far off, as if he’s right back in the moment. “I don’t know how I ever went a day without seeing you.”

My throat is thick with emotion; My love for this man is boundless.

“I’m so sorry, Mason. For what I put you through. I didn’t trust you when it mattered and I don’t know how to fix that.”

“Shh.” He brushes his finger over my lip. “We’ll figure it out.”

We continue to float around the dance floor, his hands lingering on my body for longer than necessary at every opportunity he gets.

I don’t know how long we have been dancing for when we finally slow, rocking back and forth with my head on his chest. “I’m glad you came tonight,” I whisper.

He doesn’t say a thing. His response delivered with a soft kiss to my head.

I frown, then think out loud. “I’m so proud of you, Mason Lowell.”

After a moment, he runs his hands up my arms, pulling away from me and looking down at me pensively. Every emotion inside him is bared to me in the reflection of his eyes.

“They would be so proud of you.”

His eyes drift to the ceiling before coming back to me, a small smile playing on his lips. “Come with me.”

Taking my hand, he leads me from the marquee. But instead of taking me to the house, we round the side of the property, and towards the fields that lead to the meadow.

“Mase, I don’t have any shoes.”

It’s not overly cold out but the grass is getting dewy as the morning draws close, coating my feet in wet slush. “Anything to have me carry you.” For what feels like the one hundredth time tonight, he lifts me into his arms. Striding through the grass, and over to the open gate. The last time we were in the meadow together was the day that Anthony died. I know this must bring back difficult memories.

I love him so much for being here, and all the more so for being here with a grin on his beautiful face.

He stops when we finally get to the top of the hill, dropping me down and looking out over the estate. We stand side by side, taking in the eerie silence.

“You haven’t been out here in a while.”

His throat bobs on a swallow, not taking his eyes from the estate. “Maybe not as long as you think.”

What does that mean?

I’m about to ask him when he continues.

“Dad used to come sit here on the hill while we played on the lake.”

He’s someplace else right now; I don’t say a word.

“They both did, every day from the day I was born they would walk around the grounds, until Mum got sick. I don’t remember a lot, but I remember her shouting, telling me to slow down when I would race to the lake as fast as my legs would let me go.” He sniggers. “Dad would tell her I was fine, but she always worried.” He pauses for a moment. “It was always sunny!” He looks to me in question, a frown marring his brow, as if it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world for the sun to shine. “As a kid, do you feel like it was always sunny?”

“Uh…”

“He loved the sun.” He shakes his head. “Would be out here for hours every day, and long after we went to bed.”

We stand looking over the estate, the view soothing something in the both of us. My eyes drift to the garden, still lit up with the lanterns. Scar must have forgotten about them, or she didn’t want to turn them off. Mason’s strong hand grips mine, warm but calloused.

I lick my lips, trying to decipher his thoughts and find the right thing to say. He seems lost in his own head again.

“I think in life, especially when it isn’t all that fair to us, we have a habit of clinging to the good. We feed off it, making it seem better than it actually was.”

Do we have a habit of making the good memories seem better than they had been, and the bad worse than it was? Because the bad always seems terrible looking back, but in the moment we always get through it, right?

“I don’t feel like I cling on to anything from being here,” he says. “Bad or good.”

“It was always sunny,” I state with a smile, squeezing his hand in mine.

When he finally turns and looks down at me, giving me a bright smile despite his saddened eyes, I know everything is going to be okay. “What now, my beautiful Pixie?”

I loved my Pixie then, Nina, and I love my Pixie now.

Feeling the need to lighten the mood, I look down at his shirt that I have on, then to the lake, letting my dimple pop as I bite my lip.

“It’s fucking freezing, baby.” He grins.

I take off down the hill, letting the wind whip through my hair as I run for the water’s edge. Lifting the hem, I pull the shirt over my head and chuck it to the ground, then turn, finding Mason watching me as I slide off his boxers.

“You’re fucking beautiful.”

“Come with me.” I turn and wade into the water, my eyes widening when I realise how cold it is.

“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.

“Nina, you can’t go in there,” he chuckles as he calls out to me. “It’s too cold this time of year.”

“Don’t be a wuss.”

I turn to face him, daring him with my eyes to come to me. “Come make new memories under the moon with me, Mase!”

He eventually wades in, grabbing me the second he can reach me and tugging me to him. I search his eyes, needing to know he’s okay. His nose rubs with mine as our foreheads touch.

I get the sense that tonight will be a night I’ll never forget. A night that I look back on with the fondest memories, knowing without a doubt that they are as special in my memory as they were when we lived them.

“The suns gonna shine again, Bossman. I promise.”

* * *

“It’s freezing!”My teeth chatter as Mason crosses the path back to the house, with me held tight on his back.

“I did tell you.” He chuckles. “You shouldn’t have gone in.”

The sun is just coming up, and as we pass his parents garden his grip tightens on my legs. I want to tell him to go in, but I know he won’t, or he will and will resent me for pushing him into it. I tell myself that if he wanted to go in, he would. And he will, one day.

“I need a hot shower and sleep. God, I need so much sleep!” I moan against his bare neck as he climbs the steps to the house. He smells delicious; he smells like home.

“Shower, sex, sleep,” he lists off.

“How about sex in the shower by yourself while I sleep.”

He drops me, chuckling. “Shower sex by ourselves is never happening again.”

His words ground me to a halt, my feet rooting to the terrace. What happens from here? He called me Pixie, but he didn’t say he loved me before.

He doesn’t trust me.

What now, my beautiful Pixie?

“It’s not?”

“No. If you want to be fucked,” He inches closer, circling my nipple through the wet shirt, “you come to—”

“Oh, I’m sorry, we were just heading out for a walk.”

Mason clears his throat as Vinny appears on the terrace with a bright-eyed Ellis in his hold.

“Da Da Da Da.” He claps.

“Good morning, Ellis baby.” I look at Mason with a smile as I lean in and kiss his head.

Vinny looks at my soiled shirt and jacket—which Mason insisted I wore—then to Mason, a small smirk on his face. “I’ll take Ellis around the grounds then come find you.” He nods his head, chattering to Ellis as he walks away.

I turn back to Mason. “If I wanna be fucked I what, Mase?” I grin wide, trying to contain my laughter.

“You’re gonna get it, Pix.”

I laugh, running through the house and back up to our room.

* * *

It’slate afternoon when we are finally packed up and ready to go home. Lucy has a lift with Miller and me and Megan jump in with Elliot and Charlie.

Mason, to my surprise, is staying for the afternoon with Ellis and Scarlet.

They both asked me to stay, but I know that they need some time together and with me around, Mason can get a little distracted.

“Who wants to go to a pub?” Elliot asks. “I haven’t been pub drunk in months.”

Elliot is in an annoyingly good mood today, and Megan being the extrovert of the group, clings to his every word.

“Yes! Hair of the dog is exactly what I need right now.”

Elliot smiles. “Charles?”

“You want to go out?” Charlie asks.

“It’s been a while, Lance will be game.”

“Where is Lance?” I frown, only now realising I didn’t see him at breakfast.

“He left late last night, got in a huff about some shit and called a cab,” Megan tells me.

“I will if Lance and Lowell do,” Charlie says on a shrug.

“Mason has Ellis until tonight, but he can drop him back early and you guys can go out, I need to check on Joey.” I wouldn’t go out even if I wanted to. My stomach twists just thinking about him.

“Have you heard anything yet?” Megan asks.

I shake my head. “No.”

“Lowell won’t sack off Ellis time,” Elliot says.

And it’s true, Mason wouldn’t miss another minute of his weekend with his son.

“Come on, Aldridge, I need you to wingman me. I was shit out of luck last night after I bid on Luce.”

Me and Megan look at each other and raise our brows in unison.

“What was that all about?” Megan asks.

Elliot sits forward in his seat, lifting his seat belt and smoothing it over his shoulder. “I wasn’t having it.”

“You wasn’t having what?” I ask.

He eyes me in the mirror as if it’s obvious. “Vinny?”

“I’d totally jump Vinny.” Megan laughs.

“Ewww, Megs!” I push her into the door.

“I’m kidding, he’s like a dad to us.”

“Exactly,” Elliot says. “I wasn’t having it be a joke on her.” His face hardens. “That prick she is with needs some sense knocked into him.”

Me and Megan look at each other at the same time again, then break out into giggles.

“I get it, Ell,” Charlie tells him.

“You shouldn’t laugh, Nina. Have you thought about the shit show that will go down when Hemmings comes for his date?”

Cooper. Fuck! I forgot about the auction.

“Surely he won’t ask for a date? I think Mason made it perfectly clear she wasn’t for sale.”

“You haven’t met Hemmings,” Elliot tells Megan.

Charlie twists in his seat so he can see me. “Mase won’t have you go anywhere without him, Nina. And I agree with Megan, he’d have to be looking for a death wish to come asking for anything from you.”

“You wanna bet on that?”

I roll my eyes as Charlie smiles over at Elliot, lifting his chin in challenge. “How much?”

“Fifty. It’ll round up the pot for what you owe me from last night.”

“Done. There’s no way he’d be so fucking stupid.”

“We shall see my friend.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bet on my odds, thank you very much!” I feign annoyance.

“Not you, little Pixie. Just dickhead Hemmings. You going to come for a drink or are we dropping you home?” he asks.

“Drop me home please, Ell.”

* * *

I feelexhausted as I lug my overnight bag out the back of Elliot’s car. I fell asleep on the ride home and now all I want to do is climb into my bed. Mason will have Ellis until a little later and I feel for him, he’ll be just as tired as I am.

I go to my apartment to drop my bags off then shower and change, then I make my way to Joey’s, hoping he is home.

Before I knock, I try the door but it’s locked, which isn’t out of the blue for Joey. Pulling out my keys, I unlock the door and enter his apartment.

I instantly know he’s home.

The smell of something smoky assaults my senses, and the darkness from the closed curtains make it hard to see into the room.

“Joey?”

He doesn’t answer me, and I huff as I step inside and turn on the light. Joey isn’t in the lounge and apart from his discarded hoodie, everything is how I left it on Thursday. Trickling water sounds from the bathroom, and I frown as I move in that direction, pushing open the slightly ajar door.

“Joey?!” I panic.

I run to him, pushing on his shoulder as his head snaps up out of the water.

“What the fuck, Nina!” His eyes are wide and red-rimmed, his body jolting up in the bathtub.

“You were fucking asleep, Joe!” My heart is erratic in my chest, my hands shaking. “Your face was all but under.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was!” I snap. “Jesus! Do you know how dangerous it is! You could have…”

I cut myself off, feeling awful for what I was about to say.

“Say it,” he spits, rubbing at the end of his nose with his palm.

“I’m sorry.”

“Died.” He chuckles. “I could have died.”

I roll my lips. “When did you get back?”

“Last night.” He looks up at me and then drops his eyes quickly. “Good night?”

My shoulders drop as the guilt sinks in. “Yeah, it was amazing.”

He nods his head, water dripping from his hair onto his chest.

“I know you are hurting, and I can go, but—”

“I’d prefer it if you did.”

“Joey, don’t speak to me like that.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want you here.”

I stand wide-eyed, not knowing what the right thing to do is. Do I leave him?

“GET OUT!” he yells, making me jump. I turn and leave the bathroom quickly and pull the door shut behind me.

My eyes sting with tears as his words embed themselves, even though I know he doesn’t mean them. Joey is good at being alone, it’s the way it’s been for a long time for him. I go to his kitchen and pour a glass of water, then pull down his medication box. He can yell at me all he likes.

I place the water on his dresser in his room and leave the pills beside the glass. The packet was half empty and I have no idea if he would have taken them when he was away. It was only a few days, but I don’t know how much it would affect him.

Twenty minutes later, he pushes open the door. He doesn’t enter the room, he just stands on the threshold with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“You okay?” I ask.

He chews on his bottom lip, his hands clenching twice before he steps into the room and over to his drawers. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he picks out some joggers, pulling them on under his towel. He stuffs the two tablets into his mouth, swallowing them down dry.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Without a word, he leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with his hoodie pulled over him.

“I told you to leave.” He walks to the small window and opens it.

“Joey—”

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Are you okay?”

He sniggers then shakes his head. “No, Nina, I’m not okay. Is that alright with you?”

I step closer and place a hand on his back. “I will go. I’m sorry, I was only worried. You’ll call me?”

When he doesn’t say anything, I turn and walk towards his bedroom door.

“Nina,” he says, sounding agitated.

I stop. “Yeah?”

He walks to where I stand and palms my cheek, taking me by surprise. I try not to flinch, but I can’t help my reaction to his touch.

His eyes shine. “I’m sorry.”

The second his head dips, I pull away. “Joey, what are you doing?”

He stares through me for a moment before his eyes find focus on mine. “Kiss me. Just once.” He reaches for me again, this time grasping my neck. I turn my head to the side and his lips brush my cheek.

“Joey, stop!” I push on his chest and he stumbles back. “What are you thinking?!”

Tears fill my eyes and I stare at him, not understanding.

I turn and run from the apartment.