The Recluse Heir by Monique Moreau
27
Iwas in my comfy chair, laptop propped on my knees, going over the courses I was hoping to convince Simu to let me audit in the fall. He’d already visited me, and to call it horrible was an understatement. Now that I knew what he was really about, I felt nothing but disgust for him. When he bent down to exchange kisses, I had to force myself not to pull back in revulsion.
Thoughts of Simu led me to Luca, where my mind routinely escaped to avoid the very real scariness of marrying Simu. There was a hole in my heart, especially after the night we spent together. Almost a week had passed since Luca was in my bedroom. I spent my nights in bed, eyes wide open, praying, bargaining, and begging the universe for him to come back, even for one last stolen night, but to no avail.
I gazed out my window. At this time of night, the neighborhood was quiet for once. Other than the swaying branches of trees in the backyard and the occasional passing car blasting music, it was as close to silent as it got in the city. I rubbed my tired eyes. My nightmares had returned and I slept poorly, so my plan was to stay up for as long as I could. Hopefully, I’d be so exhausted, I’d fall into bed and collapse.
Eyes burning with fatigue and sadness, I was staring out into the inky black sky when I heard a scraping noise against the side of the house. What the…? I stilled, my ears perking up. There it was again! Gently putting the laptop down, I crept to the open window. I didn’t have a gun in my room, but I had my lungs and I was ready to use them.
Two hands smacked down on the windowsill. Jumping back, I let out a little screech and covered my mouth. Luca’s face popped up into the frame of the window. Eyes bulging, I stared as he hoisted himself through the narrow opening, crouched on the windowsill, and hopped into my room. Rising to his full height, he loomed over me, a baseball cap casting a shadow over the top half of his face. His black T-shirt fitted over his broad chest, black basketball shorts hugging his thick quads. This time he’d come prepared. My heart fluttered with hope.
“W-why…what are you doing here?” I stammered.
Legs braced shoulder-width apart, he folded his arms across his broad chest and intoned, “You’re not marrying him, Cat. Over my dead fucking body.”
Annoyance flared in my chest. He was here because he was jealous. Was he serious? Mimicking his stance, I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin high. “Um…I’m pretty sure you don’t have a say in whom I marry anymore.”
His brows slashed down.
“Like hell I don’t,” he growled. He actually growled. Grabbing my upper arms, he hauled me up against his big warm chest. Normally, I wouldn’t object, but guilty or not, I wasn’t going to let yet another person trample on my life choices. It was one thing to come to me for comfort. It was even understandable if he’d scampered up the side of my house for a booty call. But he had no right to tell me how to live my life. It was mine, and I was just trying to make it through the day.
I had to tip my head far back to lock in on his eyes, but lock on them I did, because he was veering out of his lane, and I was going to be the one to put him in his place. “Honestly, Luca, it’s not like you’re gunning for the position. You threw me out, so you have zero say on how I choose to live my life.”
“Fuck that, I have every right. I blood bonded you, and I don’t see a wedding ring on your finger,” his eyes dipped down to my scantily clad figure, “Hell, I don’t even see an engagement ring. I’ve got dibs. You’re mine.”
I threw my hands up, broke his hold, and stalked away before I gave in to the urge to slap him.
Twisting around, I hissed, “Listen to me and listen closely. I’m sick of being treated like an object that can be tossed around from man to man.”
I jabbed my finger toward the window. “If I had any choice, any choice at all, I’d leave and never return. But since I can’t escape mafie society, I’m trying to do the best I can with the options I have left. I get that I screwed you over. I get that you’re still upset about that, but so help me God, I will not become another toy for you and Simu to fight over. You made it clear you didn’t want me. Now that I’m engaged to him, you want to resurrect a blood bond that meant nothing to you a day ago?”
“Who said it meant nothing to me?” He stormed up to me until we were standing toe to toe. “If you only knew what it means—”
“If that were true, then you wouldn’t have turned your back on it. On me. I understand that I wronged you, but you can’t walk all over me. I’m not going to marry a man who doesn’t want me. That’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve done enough damage, and I’m not looking to add to it.”
It was too painful to watch the various tortured emotions flittering over his face. Tearing my gaze away from him, I begged, “Just go, Luca.”
“No,” he ground out. His finger tucked under my chin, and he turned my head around to face him. “I’m fighting for this. For us. Yes, I admit that when I heard about Simu, I was jealous. Murderously jealous. But that was the least of it. I never stopped loving you, I’m just a stubborn, grudge-bearing asshole. Then Alex gave me an ultimatum that I had to marry you, and that made me retreat even further. I know why you did what you did. I hate lies, but I recently learned that lies can sometimes be forgiven if there’s a foundation of trust. Outside of my family, I’ve never trusted anyone like I have you. Before you, I didn’t think it was possible to care for someone as much, no—even more—than my clan.”
Tears sprang to my eyes. Oh, how desperate I was to hear those words, but I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Cat, when have I ever lied to you? I’m not saying this simply because you’re engaged to him. Yes, I hate him, and yes, the idea of you with him makes me want to tear him to pieces, but he’s a dangerous motherfucker.”
So noble, my Luca. He felt responsible for me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, “I absolve you of all responsibility, Luca. You don’t have to save me from Simu.”
“Christ, woman, of course I won’t let that fucker touch you, but it’s so much more than that. I’ve been downstairs every night since I last saw you.” My eyes went wide. “I pace under your window, fighting with myself not to climb up and crawl on my hands and knees, begging you to take me back.”
I placed a hand over my heart to stop it from pounding out of my chest. “What stopped you?”
“Fear. Fucking fear that you could hurt me again.” He shook his head. “No, that’s not right. It goes even deeper. I knew you wouldn’t hurt me again. Not on purpose, at least. It’s fear of happiness. When I found you, I found my purpose in life, and when it was snatched away from me, I freaked out. I feared that I didn’t deserve it. When I heard about your engagement, I finally snapped out of this vicious circle of self-pity.”
Whipping his shirt off, he gave me a show of his carved torso. A trail of coarse dusty-blond hair divided his rock-hard abs and vanished into his shorts. He smacked lightly on the tattoo that was covered the other night. I peered closer. It was a portrait of a…woman? I squinted. With gray eyes?
“This is the reason. I’m my mother’s nephew, not her biological son. This woman is my birth mother, but she died after giving birth to me. My so-called father had trouble making babies. My mother took me in, and he hated me for it. All that abuse, Cat? It made me feel like I didn’t deserve what everyone else had. And your betrayal reinforced that belief.”
He cupped my cheek, and his touch zapped me with a charge.
His tone dripped with remorse, his cool gray eyes on fire. “But I would’ve found my way back to you. I didn’t tell you the other night because I let my pride and fear get in the way, but I’d already forgiven you.”
His forgiveness meant so much. So did the fact that he’d been downstairs every night battling his demons. Although I wasn’t totally convinced that Simu wasn’t a big part of his reasonings, my chest cracked open with sorrow because this changed nothing. It was too late. I had already promised Simu, and with Cristo’s and Luca’s lives on the line, I was powerless.
Fighting down the sobs, I pushed his hand away. “Hearing that means a lot, but even if I wanted to, it’s not possible to get out of the marriage.”
His eyes darkened like a brewing storm. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because I gave him my vow, Luca, and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Shit, I didn’t mean to let that slip out.
His brows gathered ominously. “What does your promise have to do with anything happening to me?”
“Never mind, just forget I said anything,” I hurried to answer.
No good would come of him knowing about my pact with Simu. Luca would only get offended. And I didn’t want to stir anything up, what with the high level of animosity brewing between them.
“Tell me.”
The low rasp of his demand sent a shiver down my spine, but I pursed my lips and held strong.
Frustrated, he dragged me to the bed and forced me down. I struggled to shove him off, but he easily maneuvered me onto my back. Straddling me, he pinned me by the throat and demanded, “Fucking tell me. I’m not leaving here until you do.”
Dammit, he knew what that commanding move did to me. I shimmied to distribute the bulk of his weight between my hips, but it did nothing to relieve the tension building between my thighs.
I huffed and puffed and snapped my teeth, but he didn’t rise to my bait.
“Out with it,” he ordered.
“God, you’re so bossy, you know that?” I sniffed.
“Yes, I’m aware.” He hardened his tone. “Now talk.”
I breathed out heavily and replied, “I extracted a promise from Simu that I’d marry him if he didn’t kill you and if he’d help fix things for Cristo with his uncle. Although his reason for marrying me is to become the Popescu şef, I’ll deal with that problem once I cross that bridge. So, you see, blood bond or not, we can’t be together and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
A strange look came over his face, and then he threw his head back and laughed.
I bucked my hips to throw him off, but he didn’t budge an inch. Once he was done laughing, he looked down at me with a soft twinkle in the cool silver of his eyes. I scowled at him in return.
“I don’t see how this is a laughing matter,” I snapped indignantly.
His forehead creased as if he was pondering something important. One of his hands dropped on my breast and swiped at my nipple until I was squirming beneath him.
“Stop it,” I breathed out, although the protest died on my lips when he tweaked it. Dammit, his power over my body was ungodly.
“Jesus, I thought it was something serious. Simu and I have been at each other’s throats for ages. I appreciate the gesture, but I can take care of myself. As for Cristo, Simu’s not the only one with influence. As you know from the files you found, we have a relationship with the Hagi clan, and I will use the Lupu name when I negotiate with them. Honestly, though, it’s a bit naïve of you to think you could hold him to a promise of not hurting me.”
My scowl turned deeper.
“I’ll have you know that Simu and I have history. If he touched you…well, let’s just say that it’s not something I would forgive,” I bluffed. I held little power over Simu, but Luca’s argument irritated me.
“And once you were married to him, how much weight do you think your lack of forgiveness would hold, especially if it pitted him against a direct order from his şef? If your father ordered the kill, you couldn’t stop him. You wouldn’t be able to leave him for it, either,” he stated nonchalantly.
“Okay, fine, you’re probably right,” I replied, throwing up my hands. I gave up disputing him and trying to defend the indefensible. It’s not like I didn’t know what Simu was really like. The man’s ambitions resided in darkness. No, the real reason behind my snippiness was that I didn’t trust Luca’s motives for returning.
He’d turned to me for comfort, but afterward, he’d stayed away for days, only showing up once he’d heard about my engagement. Sure, he said he’d forgiven me, that he’d struggled and wanted to take me back, but what broke him was my engagement to Simu. That wasn’t the behavior of a man who really wanted me.
I gritted my teeth. I was no better than a fuck doll being fought over by two snot-nosed boys, and I was done with it. Done with being volleyed back and forth between men like a disposable toy. First Alex, next Luca, and then Nicu. Luca again. Now Simu and maybe Luca yet again? They were impossible, and I’d had it.
Pressing my hands to his chest, I declared, “You don’t really want me, Luca. Admit it, you only came here tonight because of Simu.”
His expression darkened. His eyes morphed from silver to a stormy gray.
Burying his fingers in my hair, he crushed his mouth to mine. A ferocious, claiming kiss. My core clenched, growing wet and needy. Damn the man. He knew what he did to me.
This time, I refused to be so easily swayed.
Grinding down against my mound so that I felt his hard cock, he spat out, “Does that feel like I don’t want you?”
I shoved at his broad shoulders. “You know that this is about more than sex.”
“You’re damn right it is,” he growled. “Why are you rejecting me?”
I slapped my hand hard across his chest, catching his nipple with my nails. He inhaled sharply, lust flaring in his eyes. I had to douse his lust fast. Otherwise, we’d end up fucking, and that would be the end of my resistance.
“Because I’ve been treated like a-a-a thing that can be tossed from man to man without any say. You’re no better than any of them—my father, Cristo, Simu—barging in here and bossing me around. Your main motivation for coming here wasn’t that you loved me, that you couldn’t live without me. The only reason you’re here is because of the engagement.” I glared up at him, putting as much grit as I could in my tone. “Nothing you’ve done makes me believe that you’re here for me, so yes, I am rejecting you.”
He jerked back in surprise.
Sheesh. Finally.
Shadows crossed over his eyes. “I’m Romanian, and you know what we’re like. Jealousy runs hot in our veins.”
“Oh, I know,” I griped.
“But I also love you, Cat. I want you as my own. If I walked away from the blood bond, do you really think I only came back because of Simu?”
My eyes narrowed into slits. He sounded suspiciously sincere, but I wasn’t buying it. Actions spoke louder than words. I loved him, and the stakes were too high for me to risk binding myself to him under these circumstances. He’d only come to me when he was upset, and even then, he held back on his secret. I didn’t begrudge him that, but he had yet to make a move that signaled he loved me. And that’s what it would take for me to choose him.
“Oh, please. Stop it, just stop it.” I pushed and shoved, wiggling until he moved off just enough for me to slip out from underneath him. Scrambling away, I tucked my knees into my chest, and glared at him.
He got to his feet and paced the length of my room. “God, this is such a clusterfuck.” Whirling around, he stopped at my bedside, pointed at me, and accused incredulously, “You don’t believe me.”
I snorted and tightened my hold on my knees. “No. I don’t.”
“What will it take to prove it to you?” he asked. He was about to say more but thought better of it and sealed his lips shut.
Prowling closer, he slapped his hands on either side of my head and leaned in.
“Tell me,” he commanded.
“You really want to know?” I snapped back defiantly. “Save Cristo so I don’t have to marry Simu and don’t ask anything in return. Not the fulfillment of the blood bond, not marriage, not my love, nothing.”
His reply was instant.
“Done.”
Gaze burning into my face, it glided down to my nose, my mouth and then snapped back up to my eyes.
“You want your freedom? Then I free you of any obligation under the blood bond. I don’t need a bond, a marriage certificate, or any-fucking-thing else. I just need you and I’m going to win you back, Cat. It wasn’t over after you betrayed me, and it isn’t over now. Don’t for a goddamn second think it will ever be over.”
“That’s exactly what I think will happen,” I retorted.
Enough with the pretty words, I wanted action. But my demands were excessive. Save Cristo and not demand anything in return? That wasn’t how mafie men worked, and I didn’t think Luca could do it.
“Just go,” I pleaded.
His lips swept over mine in a heartbreakingly tender kiss. Then he threw on his shirt and slipped out of my window.
I flopped down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Now that he was gone, I let go of my bravado, and the tears flowed, dripping down the sides of my cheeks. In my heart, I wanted to believe in fairy tales. I wanted to believe that Luca would go out and slay the dragons, bringing back the prize of Cristo’s safety and his heart to lay it at my feet. But what I had asked for was insane, and I’d learned at the ripe old age of twelve that in the underworld of the mafie, there were no heroes. Only monsters.
