Illicit Affairs by Holly Dixon

Twenty-Seven

“There are no excuses,”he sighed, reluctantly letting her go. “What I did was fucked up. I know that, you know that, and there is nothing I can say or do to actually fix it. I should have told you at the start, but I don’t regret what we did.”

“How many others have you fucked behind your wife’s back?” she challenged, turning around to face him with a scornful expression frosting her face.

“No, it’s not like that! I have never done anything like this before! Do you honestly think I was planning on coming to Europe and meeting someone like you who could destroy my entire career and flush my marriage down the drain?”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me!”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m not blaming you…” Nate groaned, taking a step back as his hands dragged down his face. “Look, my marriage isn’t what you think it is. Natalia and I are just business partners. Our marriage is nothing more than a political fucking statement, a business deal that was practically arranged for me.”

“An arranged marriage?”

“Pretty much.” He shrugged his shoulders and leaned his back against one of the shelves. “Our parents hooked us up, said it would be a great way to increase our social status, that it was a great move financially for us combining our assets—and don’t get me wrong, it is… but it’s a loveless partnership. We are two completely different people living in this ridiculously large house, we barely speak to each other, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Nat is fucking some guy behind my back…and honestly? I wouldn’t care if she was.”

“So…what? You don’t fuck your wife, so your British mistress will do—is that it?” Ava snipped, not buying this story, and finding it twisted and messed up even if it were true.

“No, that’s not it. Nat and I did fuck a lot at first, thought why the hell not mix business with pleasure, but it was just this senseless fucking day in and day out that—”

“Okay, okay, I get the picture, move on!”

“I don’t want her, Ava. I haven’t fucked her, or anyone for that matter, in months. Even then, there isn’t any passion, no desire that consumes me, not like how it is when I am with…you.” Nate stared at her like she was a shining beacon of hope and stepped towards her, his hands carefully slipping onto her waist.

“Nate…please d-don’t…” Ava whimpered, music to Nate’s ears as he saw it clear as day in her eyes—she felt it too. They fought and fucked with the same desire and craving for more.

“I will do anything to make this work. I will be whatever you want me to be, I’ll give up everything for you, just don’t let whatever this is go,” he whispered, moving in closer to that aroma that made him high, his hand in her hair, cinching her body close as he ran his nose up the side of her neck. “I need you, Ava. I can’t get you out of my head, I can’t forget your touch. When I close my eyes all I see is you, beautiful, perfect you.”His lips tenderly kissed along her jaw between words. “I want you to be my forever girl. You’re everything—my desire, my weakness, my obsession…” He trailed off as his lips found hers and the pair melted into one another. All logic fell away from him as his lips chased after her soul, feeling more at home here than he did anywhere else. Within her touch all he found was peace. His body ran hot as he felt her warm palms sliding over his white shirt, reaching for his heart that he’d gladly rip out of his chest for her. But then, as he tasted the salt upon his tongue, a frown etched its way into his features before he was abruptly pushed away from his safe harbour. Pain sliced straight through his chest when he saw the tears sliding down her face like rain rolling down the sides of a perfect rose.

“I…I’m sorry, I just can’t… It’s too much—I—I don’t feel the same way,” she choked on the words before storming straight past him, but he couldn’t move to chase after her. His feet felt as though they were cemented to the floor, his body turning to stone as her words echoed in his mind. Despair drowned him like darkness blanketing around his body, smothering him, forcing itself down his throat until his heart felt as though it was pumping thick tar. It wasn’t until that moment that he realised he had given her the one thing he had no control over—his heart.

After Ava had rushedout of work that day, it was the last he saw of her all week as she never showed up to the office. He took the hint and left her alone, but he’d be lying if he said it hadn’t crippled him. Four days was all it took for him to reach insanity.

That week was hell, not only because her sunny face wasn’t there to brighten his day, but because he struggled with the workload without his assistant.

It turned out Nate needed her in more ways than just one.

His true mistress was his work, each day blurring into the other, lacking colour and life, the same monotonous repetition as the last day. He never knew how deep her claws were in him until he was losing sleep over her. Every dream, there she was, a blissful escape, until he woke up and felt the pain of knowing it could never happen—she didn’t feel the same way.

It was his own fault for plucking a rose from the earth oblivious to her hidden thorns. He was just flesh and bone to her, an expendable high.

Nate couldn’t bear the dreams anymore, preferring the heavy feeling on his chest as though trying to breathe in but never filling his lungs. At least staying awake felt like he had control over something.

Nate was on his way back from a meeting when he stopped dead before turning the corner. The wet and breathy noise of a passionate exchange came from around the bend making his heart jump into his throat as images of Ava’s and Peter’s mouths invaded his brain. Rage ripped through his veins and curled his hands as he stormed around the corner.

“Mr. Brooks!” Charlotte Forbes gasped, jolting away from her stepson, Jenson, and making Nate’s face screw up in confusion. “We were just discussing the trial next week.” She couldn’t have looked any more caught if her hands were dipped in red paint.

“Right…” Nate’s eyes squinted at this woman, seeing nothing more than a leech. It made sense; old man Forbes was dead so move on to his kid that’s ages with her and suck him dry too? Money-draining leech. “As you were.” He cleared his throat and plastered a polite smile onto his face as he walked up the hallway and finally sat down at his desk.

Nate was almost through with this week, Friday finishing time now on his doorstep, and yet, he took no solace from this. He rubbed his tired eyes and just as he looked up, Peter Taylor walked past his office door.

“Punkass…” Nate uttered, an annoyed snuff leaving his nostrils but suddenly the redhead swung into his office with a cheery grin on his face, the same smug expression that Nate had seen that day stood outside the elevator, the same one he now wanted to punch from his face to save his handkerchief getting spoiled.

“Hey, boss! You not finishing up for the ball tonight?” Peter asked, his hand cupping the door frame.

“Ball?” Nate asked, but then suddenly remembered the charity event he ought to attend to keep appearances and maintain professionalism. “Ah, shit… I forgot about it. I can’t tonight.” Truthfully, he had no plans, intending on drinking himself into a dreamless sleep, but even if he did want to go, he had nothing to wear to the black-tie event.

“Ah, that’s a shame,” Peter replied with a shrug before casually stepping into Nate’s office uninvited. “Here, I meant to ask… Ava’s been on annual leave all week but she’s not answering her phone…do you know if she’s alright?”

This was like music to Nate’s ears knowing that the fiery golden goddess was ignoring not just him but this dick-for-brains as well. However, then it dawned on him that something could have happened to her and he felt sick for not being able to find out.

“I haven’t heard from her, but I presume she is fine…why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing…she’s my arm candy for this evening was all,” Peter chuckled, but Nate couldn’t have been further from amused even if a clown was parading itself around his office as his jaw clenched and his hands fisted beneath his desk.

“I’ll be sure to let Ms. Archer know that you’re looking for her if I do hear anything,” Nate lied, a practiced smile on his face as Red began to retreat out of his office. When he was finally gone, Nate let go of the breath he was holding. He would rather stick hot needles in his eyes than watch that redheaded idiot dance around with a lady who was far too much woman for that worthless boy to handle. But then again, this was the pathetic man-child who allowed his girl to dangle by a noose at that auction.

His fingers drilled away at his keyboard before he whipped out his phone and pressed it to his ear. “Hi there, yes, I require a suit for this evening.”