Illicit Affairs by Holly Dixon
Thirty-Three
There wasno walk of shame as Ava strode down the hotel hallway in the afternoon dressed for the evening prior. It was clear that she was not attending some charity event or gala today, her makeup long gone, and her hair tossed up into a messy bun of sorts. Despite the train wreck of her life and her whole ensemble, she felt an odd sense of wholeness as she almost skipped away from Nate’s suite with a dreamy smile on her face. That was until she saw a flash of messy ombre curls.
“Sam…?” Ava called out towards the woman dressed in a black jumpsuit, clutching her head and slowly turning to look. Sam’s eyes widened as she dropped her purse, scattering vodka miniatures and complimentary toiletries. She quickly grabbed what she could before darting towards the elevator, her finger mashing the button. “Samantha?!” Ava yelled and began running down the long hallway towards her friend. The elevator doors pinged open and Sam rushed inside, but Ava wasn’t taking no for an answer as she quickly removed her red high heel and launched it at the closing elevator doors.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!” Sam exclaimed from inside as the red stiletto wedged between the doors in the nick of time before springing them open.
“Good morning,” Ava chirped a little breathlessly as she retrieved her shoe and stepped in beside her friend.
“Afternoon.”
“Good evening?” Ava asked, placing her heel back on.
“No, it’s afternoon,” Sam corrected.
“No, I meant did you have a good evening?”
“Aye, ’twas eventful.” Sam tilted her chin upwards, refusing to meet Ava’s eye as she sniffed her nose and crossed her arms.
“How was Peter’s suite?”
“Aye, ’twas braw.” Sam turned to face Ava with her eyebrows raised. “Are we honestly going to ignore the pirouetting elephant in this lift with us?”
“No, of course not.” Ava sighed, turning to face Sam as well. “Can we just go for a cuppa and I’ll explain everything?”
“What’s there to explain? You’re knobbin’ the boss that just so happens to have a wife.”
“How did you know he was married?!” Ava’s stomach sank despite the bile rocketing up her throat.
“Facebook, hen! See, this is why I keep telling you to get it!”
“Oh God.” Ava turned away, her palm against her hot cheek as she shook her head. This wasn’t how she wanted to come clean to her friend. “I swear at the beginning I didn’t know he was married, Sam.”
“So you’re telling me you’re coming out of that man’s hotel room today despite knowing he’s married?” The elevator doors pinged open as an elderly couple stepped in, but Ava’s silence spoke loud and clear of her sin. “You know, lass,” Sam hissed down to her side, “I know you’ve been dipped more times than a chip and that you’re a bit of a top shagger and all but this is low…veryfrickin’ low.”
“It’s not like that, Samantha! It’s complicated!” Ava hissed back, growing angry at her friend’s judgemental tone.
“Oh, it is, aye? So complicated you couldnae tell yerbest friend about it?”
“I didn’t want you to think less of me!” Ava fired back loudly, ignoring the little hunched over couple that was nervously glancing at each other before looking at the pair of squabbling idiots behind them from over the silver rim of their glasses.
“You had me message Peter like a complete tit that night and then you went and fucked him anyway even though you were probably, at that point, involved with a married man who also happens to be our boss!” Sam trilled, the old couple gasping as they turned and looked at Ava, the woman with her frail hand upon the cross pendant of her necklace.
“That isn’t what happened!”
“Isn’t it?”
Ava felt like the steam fuelling her veins had finally run out as she slumped against the mirrored wall of the elevator and hung her head.
“I didn’t mean for any of it to happen. It just did,” Ava croaked, her eyes unable to lift from her feet. “I didn’t tell you because, of all the people, I cannot bear for my best friend to see me as I currently see myself…as a home-wrecking cunt.”
Sam’s eyes widened along with the old couple as they gawked at Ava’s language. A moment of silence passed in the elevator as her friend gnawed on her bottom lip, deep in thought, before releasing an exasperated sigh and throwing her hands into the air.
“C’mere, lass,” Sam huffed, stepping forward to wrap her arms around Ava as she gave an awkward smile towards the awwing couple in front of them.
That was the thing about best friends; they never judged you for your fuckups in life, no matter how much of a mess you made. True friends were your ride or die and would take your secrets, flaws, and fuckups to the grave with them.
“I’m so sorry,I wish I had just told you everything at the start,” Ava huffed as she sunk back into Sam’s bed wearing the matching onesie she kept at her house.
“Well, aye, that would have been helpful!” Sam laughed, sitting next to Ava with her infamous llama mug poised at her lips. “We’ve known each other since we had to start wearing bras. You’re more than just a pal to me, we’re practically family, and you should know you can tell me anything. I’m not angry at you I’m just—”
“Please don’t say you’re just disappointed,” Ava whined as she hid under the pillow.
“No!” Sam laughed, grabbing the pillow off her. “I’m just annoyed that you lied to me in the first place, but I understand why you did. If I was in your shoes, I dare say I’d no have the backbone to fess up to my mate either.”
“I know. I was just so ashamed because first of all, he’s my boss, and if Dad finds out I’m done for, and second of all, no matter Nate’s circumstance he is still married.” Ava let out a long-exhausted groan as she stared up at the ceiling and dragged her hands down her face.
“So…just walk away then! There’s plenty mare dick in the sea!” Sam chuckled, jabbing Ava in the ribs and cursing when her tea spilt onto the bed sheets.
“I wish it were as simple… I can’t explain it but every time I try to stop and walk away something just pulls me right back in as though I am somehow tethered to him. I see every red flag and still I choose to ignore them because when I’m with Nate I feel like I have all the missing puzzle pieces in my arms, but one wrong move and I drop them all. It is completely disconcerting to feel so secure and yet on the edge of losing everything at the same time.”
Ava wished she could explain the difficulty of hiding her feelings for this man, how their delicate relationship fed off stolen glances, disguised touches, and secret encounters.
“Holy fuck…” Sam gaped, ignoring the stain on her white linen sheets as she stared at the confused look on Ava’s face. “Ava, are you in love with him?”
“What?!” Ava blurted, sitting upright and scoffing, “Of course I’m not!”
“You bloody are, aren’t you?”
“No!”
“Yekenyer blushing, aye?”
“It’s just the tea, it’s hot!” Ava shot back as she pulled at the pillow.
“You love him, don’t you?” Sam pressed, putting her mug down as the pair played tug of war with the pillow that Ava hid behind. The pillow finally snapped from Ava’s grip and she was able to see the tormented expression on Sam’s face. “Ye ken I hate to ask this, lass, but what are you going to do?”
“There’s nothing I can do. In a week’s time he’s going back to America…back to his wife and back to his real life.” Ava pushed the words past the lump in her throat. “And I’ll simply fade away from his existence and prove to be nothing more than a very silly and very unfortunate mistake. We will forever remain oceans apart.”
“Yup, and you’ll end up alone forever with spaniel ears for tits and surrounded by the cats that will one day eat ye,” Sam teased, the pair screaming as Ava shoved her friend out of bed, but in doing so, sent burning hot tea flying as Sam clattered to the floor with an almighty thump. “Oh my God, are ye alright?”
“No! I just bloody burnt my—” Ava stopped, realising Sam wasn’t talking to her.
“There’s been a fatality!” Sam’s head popped up from the side of the bed, the llama mug presented to Ava with one ear now missing. “Barry…his ear…” She pouted with a sniff before glaring at her friend. “What are you laughing at? It’s naw funny! He’s gonna be made fun of now by all the other mugs!”
“You’re right,” Ava said, struggling to compose herself. “He’ll look like a right mug now.”
“Dick,” Sam hissed.
“Fanny,” Ava shot back.
“Tit!”
“Mug fucker.”
“Husband fucker,” Sam blurted before immediately covering her mouth as Ava’s jaw dropped with her tongue in her cheek as she suppressed laughter. “Hey! Where are you going?”
“I told you earlier, Nate is coming over tonight for dinner.” Ava chuckled as she began changing into her dress from the night prior.
“What are you cooking?”
“Steak,” she replied, struggling to pull the tight dress down over her stomach.
“Hear that, Barry?” Sam said, earning an eye roll from her friend as she looked down at her mug while her tongue repeatedly prodded the inside of her cheek.