Illicit Affairs by Holly Dixon

Thirty-Four

“Oh, fuckmeeee!”Ava whined, standing in front of the hob as she stirred one pot only for the other to throw a tantrum. To add insult to serious injury, the door buzzer went meaning that Nate had arrived on time for their dinner date. “Bugger!” she squealed before buzzing him into the building.

She was nowhere near ready considering her hair was still tossed up into a messy knot and she hadn’t yet changed out of her housework clothes—an unflattering baggy white tee sporting some elegant food splatters hung from her shoulders and her favourite pair of skinny jeans from three years ago were frayed at the thighs.

“Hello…?” Nate called out in her hallway, his head peeking through the red door, fearing he had gotten the wrong apartment.

“Just come in! I’m in the kitchen!”

He sighed with relief as he heard Ava’s sweet voice which sounded a little flustered. A smirk lit up his face as he stepped inside the warmly lit apartment and paused to take his shoes off—a habit drummed into him by his mother.

Following the melody of gentle guitar, he placed a bottle of wine down onto the table and stopped behind Ava with his jaw resting upon the floor as his eyes dropped to her perfect peach wrapped in tight denim.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be changing in a moment,” she said over her shoulder as she saw the horror on his face. “I lost track of time!” However, while she was turning the steaks over, giggles escaped her lips as she felt Nate stand directly behind her, his fingernails grazing up the backs of her thighs before his hands dipped into her rear pockets.

“Don’t. I like the jeans…a lot.” He chuckled huskily with his lips skimming down the side of her neck as he palmed the sumptuous curve of her ass.

“Nate, I’m attempting to cook dinner here,” she bubbled, her head automatically tilting to the side as she felt his teeth nip and tease at that spot below her ear that had a direct link to that spot between her thighs.

“My apologies…” he whispered between the kisses planted across her exposed shoulder before moving back up to nibble upon her lobe. “Am I distracting you, ma’am?”

Ava’s lashes fluttered as her heart trembled inside her chest. This man had a way of sending shivers down her spine that felt both hot and cold. He was a fever that left her needing to be fed.

“Yes, now bugger off before I ruin dinner!” She laughed breathlessly, chewing down on her lip to stop herself from caving and releasing the moan that was upon the tip of her tongue.

However, Nate wasn’t taking no for an answer, his hands still in her jeans pockets as he abruptly spun her around and pinched her chin to focus her attention up on him.

“Good,” he said in a gravelly tone with a dirty smile on his lips that pressed down against hers. His hazel orbs remained opened to witness her reaction, revelling in the way she melted into his kiss as her lips parted eagerly against his own. He tickled her upper lip, but upon feeling her bratty little tongue trying to force its way into his mouth, he abruptly pulled back.

“What are you doing?” She gasped, her face paling as she watched Nate casually back away and begin to open random drawers in her kitchen.

“What does it look like I’m doing, sweetheart?” he retorted plainly over his shoulder as he pulled out some cutlery.

“Giving me a blue bean by the looks of it!” Ava ridiculed, huffing as she turned around to tend to the dinner again and trying to ignore the bemused noises Nate made as he set the dining table.

Despite having spentthe afternoon preparing a meal from scratch, Ava had barely eaten her dinner, her appetite much stronger for something else in the way of American cuisine.

“This is nice,” Nate sighed, sinking back into her sofa as she sat upon the opposite end with her ankles crossed over his lap.

“What? Drinking wine out of a regular wine glass instead of a coffee mug for a change?”

“No.” He laughed, reaching forward to place his glass on the table. “This…just like…sitting on a sofa with you talking. It’s a luxury I don’t really get back home.”

“Do you not spend any time with Natalia…” Saying her name out loud made Ava feel like the worst woman alive, as though she were betraying womankind.

“Nope, not really. We’re passing ships in that house. She comes home, we sit at opposite ends of the table to eat, and then when we’re done, we go our separate ways.”

“But that sounds absolutely miserable!”

“It is! I haven’t heard Nat laugh since our wedding day and even then, I think she did it for the camera,” he sighed, his head falling back as he stared up at the ceiling. “It’s not like I haven’t spoken to her about all of this or even tried to make us more compatible. It’s just that each time I have, I am very bluntly told to suck it up and think of the bigger picture, the real incentive behind why we’re together. I’m told that we’re just simply happier apart than we are when we’re together.”

“Oh, fucking hell that is tragic…” Ava huffed, sipping on her wine as she rubbed at her forehead.

“Do you believe me?” Nate frowned, looking at her with his stomach in knots. He knew all she had to go on was his word and even that looked like a flimsy piece of paper considering the nature of his character when he was around her.

“I honestly do but what I don’t understand is…if you’re both that unhappy…why stay together just for the sake of money and social status?” She watched as a pained look creased at Nate’s features and sent her stomach dropping. “I’m sorry, that’s really not my place to ask that considering I am ‘the other woman’ and all.”

“Hey, no… don’t label yourself that,” Nate admonished as his hands subconsciously began rubbing her feet. “It’s easy for anyone on the outside looking in to label us whatever shitty thing they want to but they ain’t us…they don’t share the same emotions or struggles as we do and they sure as shit don’t understand that just because you aren’t alone doesn’t mean you aren’t crippled by loneliness on a daily basis.

“Now, I ain’t tryna excuse my less-than-honourable actions here… I know that what I’m doing to Nat ain’t fair…but I have spent years of my life putting everyone else’s happiness before my own, so sometimes…you just can’t worry about whose feelings are gonna get hurt in the pursuit of your own happiness. A good life ain’t one without problems, Ava. A good life is one with good problems.” If there was one lesson learned for Nate, it was that a person in one month could make you feel what a person in one year could not because time meant nothing—character did.

Ava felt as though a heavy weight had been sat upon her shoulders, staring at this man who was living in her own hell. He was the one thing she feared above all else: lonely.

“So, you’ve never just Netflix and chilled with any of the long list of women that have thrown themselves at you?” she asked with a smirk, deciding to lighten the mood.

“The list ain’t long!” he scoffed.

“Oh, really?” Ava said dubiously with lowered brows. “What’s your number?”

“My number?”

“You know…the number of people you’ve been with.”

“Oh, let’s see…” Nate’s thick brows pulled together as he stuck his tongue in his cheek and recalled his pitiful sex life that was mostly active during his college years. “Twenty-five-ish, give or take.”

“Th-that’s it?” she asked, choking on her wine.

“Why, is that bad?”

“Not at all, I just presumed that the sexy, serious, and perfect Nathaniel Brooks would have more notches on his belt!”

“I’m not as perfect as you think, sweetheart!” He laughed, shaking his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Oh yeah? Show me one defect, Brooks,” Ava challenged, grinning as he sat upright.

“Alright, see this tooth?” He pointed to one of his incisors. “Fake. Lost it tryna impress a girl at college.”

“What, like in a fight?” Ava’s eyes widened like a drama-thirsty vampire.

“No…more like me tryna bust open a beer cap with my tooth and then, pop!”

“Oh my God, that is tragic!” she squealed, her hand covering her mouth as she burst out laughing so hard that gentle snorts left her nostrils. “You’re a closet dork!”

“Yeah, well, never judge a book by its cover!” Nate laughed with her.

“Mhm, a very tall, dark, and sexy book at that!”

“Alright, alright, what’s your number?” Nate asked, taking her wine glass off of her before she ruined her sofa—that after all, was a very Ava thing to do. However, when her laughter fell short and she made a move to stand up, he gripped her ankles and pinned them down to his lap. “Oh, no you don’t. Spill!”

“Do you promise not to judge me?”

“Scout’s honour,” he swore, adoring the sweet blush on her cheeks and the adorable pout of her lip.

Damn, I gotta bite that lip soon.

“Well…I, uhm…kind of…lost count after…the hundred mark…?”

“Hundred?!” Nate’s eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

“Yeah okay, look, I know what you’re thinking,” Ava whined, pulling her knees up as she hid her face behind them. “‘Oh, what a slut, never been in a relationship in all her twenty-eight years, what a complete waste of a wom—’”

“Actually, no, that’s not what I’m thinking at all,” Nate interrupted and reached across the sofa to pry her face away from her legs. “I’m thinking it’s kinda devastating that you’ve never been cherished by a man in the way that you deserve. At least…not until now.”

Ava shyly met his eyes, and felt for the first time in her life as though her black-and-white heart was made to be coloured in his colours. She slowly crawled her way over to him, straddling his lap carefully as she cupped his face. In his embrace she felt so safe and at home.

“We should really talk about our situation…” Nate whispered against her lips which were brushing against his own as his hands wandered up her white shirt and skimmed down her curvaceous figure.

“Not right now…right now, I just…I need you closer.”