Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Five
Rose watched the door in shock. Her new husband had shut the door on her before consummating their marriage. She waited for a few moments to let everything sink in. Was it real? Was it a rejection, or was he just being polite? She couldn’t make heads or tails of it, and eventually, she just turned around to look at the room behind her. It was beautiful with every comfort.
The large oaken bed in the far corner was far bigger than any she had ever slept in, and it was covered in beautiful wool and fur blankets. There was a wooden table with a looking glass affixed to it, a few comfortable chairs by the fire, and a hot tub sitting in front of the hearth with steam rising out of it. Her comfort had been thought of. Was he not such a brute after all?
Confused, she hurried to undress so that she could slip into the bath. She was grateful that the laird had forgotten to send her a maid, for she wasn’t sure if she was ready for conversation after the affairs of that evening. At least she had worn a comfortable riding dress to travel north. After a bit of struggle with her kirtle and stays, she was finally able to step into the bath. After she slipped underneath the lovely warm water, she laid back and took a breath. It was the first real breath she’d taken since the news had arrived about Laird Rede’s threat. With her eyes closed, she reached up and pulled the pins from her hair, letting the curls fall to her shoulders, and the pins fall to the floor.
Nothing mattered just then. She was alone with her thoughts, and she could just be. For whatever reason, her husband had chosen not to spend their first night together, and she was perfectly fine with that. If only her brother had known what had happened. When she’d pulled Henry into an embrace just before he left, he’d whispered roughly in her ear, “I cannot believe you are going to be bedded by this bastard! He shall defile you!”
It had taken everything in her to not reprimand her brother for such words. How was she supposed to go into this new life with those words at her back?! Could he not provide anything else such as comfort or encouragement? No, he had to think only of himself and how he had lost his pride to a Scotsman. Even though her brother loved her, he’d made her feel like a piece of property about to be tarnished.
And then her father had tearfully shared his regret in her ear, and she could hear no more. This was her decision now, and it was her new life. Her family would be gone in the morning, and then she would have to forge her own path. If her husband never meant to consummate her marriage, then that would make her choice even easier. They could be a partnership in name only. In fact, that idea was an excellent one, and she smiled to herself as she sunk deeper into the rose-scented water.
She was a lady now. Thoughts of her mother began to flit through her mind, and she wondered, briefly, if her mother would have been proud of her for what she’d done. She had made the sacrifices she’d needed to, as a woman, since she couldn’t display her loyalty or love out on the battlefield. This was the only way she could use her power and ability to share her love and devotion for her family and country. Now, the only thing left was to try to find a way to use her newfound status as the lady of a Scottish clan to spy for her brother and help him get his revenge in some small way.
* * *
Euan shut the door to Rose’s chamber and then breathed a sigh of relief. He was not going to bed his new wife. Not tonight at least, and he knew it sounded ridiculous or crazed, but he was nervous or unhinged or something. He hadn’t expected her to be so bonny, and he wanted to blame the Sayers for having such an attractive lass for a relative. It would not make his life easy at all, and he hated himself for being drawn by her. He could also tell that she had no interest in it, the way she’d tensed the nearer they got to her bedchamber.
Bloody Hell, he had no idea what he was meant to do now. So, he left her in her chamber to rest and to recuperate. It had been a long journey and a long day for everyone, and Euan was growing fatigued with playing his usual part of the fearsome leader. When he went downstairs, he was happy to find that the Sayers had been brought to their chambers as instructed. Everything was done as he’d said, and before he left for the study, he grabbed a bottle of whisky from the hall on the main table and stomped away determinedly.
He would sit in his study for the whole of the evening, or most of it, and continue his plan to get very, very drunk. He didn’t want to think about what he’d just done, nor the fact that there was a very beautiful woman upstairs who was now his wife. No doubt she was waiting for him to consummate their marriage as most normal husbands would.
“I am nae a normal husband, however,” he grumbled to himself as he slunk into the chair by the fire and took his first sip of whisky. He closed his eyes. The study had been his father’s and his grandfather’s, and it was the best place of rest for him in his castle. No one else was allowed in unless by invitation. Here he could finally be himself, unfurl and remember who he really was and the fears and worries that plagued him every day.
Was he a good leader? Could he save his people from the wrath of the English? Immediately he opened his eyes. When his eyes were closed, he would remember the battlefields. After years of war, it was no wonder they stuck in his mind. They would forever follow him around like ghosts because he had seen unspeakable things and could never unsee them. He took another sip of whisky and turned his mind to other things.
Unfortunately, his mind took a turn to that of his wife. His beautiful, new, English wife had a tongue that could kill a man. He chuckled. “The lass is certainly feisty. Very fitting, I suppose, for a Scottish clan. I wonder if she even kens how well she fits the role.”
He kept laughing. Even though the lass had been demanded from the Sayer family, and her father’s life hung in the balance, Rose Sayer did not shy away from expressing her opinion. Why, she’d even corrected him on the accuracy of a Bible story! Just after she’d been “forced” to marry him to forge an alliance.
What woman would do such a thing? The little tale that had played out that day was absolute nonsense. It was almost too good to be true, and Euan wished he had someone to share it with. His friend Walter hadn’t been around for a few months, and so now he felt like he had no one, really, to show his true self to. It felt like being caged up like a wild animal. He could only really run and be free when he could let down his guard and be just who he wanted to be, or rather who he really was underneath all his “brutishness”.
The Sayers really thought of him as a brute, and maybe he was, but he wouldn’t be a brute to her. No wonder the lass had looked slightly fearful as he’d led her up to her chamber. He would never take a woman like that. Where was the fun if both parties weren’t enjoying the exchange? No, he would never take a woman if she didn’t want it, and so he would leave his wife, forever if need be.
He kept drinking, and his thoughts grew slurred and confused. He was a married man now. A married man. He didn’t know if it suited him at 26, but it was a fact. A married Laird. A laird with a lady. He stood up, wavering a little, and decided. His poor wife was probably waiting upstairs for him, expecting an explanation, and he hadn’t given her anything. He moved to the doorway and put his hand on the knob.
Yes, he would explain it to her and tell her that he didn’t want her because she was an Englishwoman. The marriage was just in name only, and it was all for political reasons. He could also prove to himself that he didn’t want her. He was stronger than to fall prey to the wiles of a bonny woman. She didn’t need to fear him, and she could go about her life just as she wanted to. What a good idea. He opened the door and moved up the stairs as best he could, clutching to his bottle of whisky for good luck.
This was a good idea, was it nae? The lass deserves an explanation at least, and then we donnae need tae discuss it any further. We can move on with our lives.
He nodded furiously to himself. What a very, very good idea. He paused outside of her chamber and raised his right fist, ready to knock. He could hear some movement inside, and then he knocked, glad that she was still awake. When she opened the door, her hair was down, and her face was slightly pale, and she was clutching her woolen dressing gown closed.
“Laird Rede?” she asked. “How might I assist you?” she stood in the doorway, looking at him with her fierce green eyes, and for a few seconds, Euan couldn’t speak. Those eyes of hers, they were enough to put a spell on him, one he wasn’t sure he could get out of. Now that her hair was down, she looked even more enticing. Looking away to keep safe, he stumbled into the room.
“Does a man need an excuse tae see his wife? It is our wedding night, after all.”
“Oh.” She said, and in that one tiny word, she spoke volumes. She was not disappointed that he had not come to see her nor explained his absence. She appeared greatly disappointed that he had come to see her after all.
He drew himself up and pointed at her. “Ye’ve naething tae fear from me, lass. I donnae want tae bed an Englishwoman.” He made a sound of disgust in his throat. “Ye are worthless tae me in that way. Only through an alliance are ye valued.” Yes, his words were very great indeed. He could tell by the way she drew one eyebrow up and crossed her arms, trying to show herself to be impenetrable.
“I see. Well, I wonder why you took the trouble of coming, if only to tell me that, and in an insulting way, I might add.”
He laughed. It started small but then grew and grew. “Ye really are the most entertaining lass. I cannae imagine the power ye hold in yer little finger, for yer tongue can give a lashing as good as any whip. What a surprise that I am married tae such a woman.”
She made a sort of hmphing sound. “What may I help you with, Laird Rede? Is that all? I should like tae get tae bed.”
He waved a hand about the room in what he thought was a smooth and straightforward way, not faltering and clumsy. “Then why have ye nae gone tae bed already? There has been much time.”
“I was…bathing. It was very kind of you to leave a bath for me. The room is quite comfortable.”
The words came out of her in a stilted fashion, as if they pained her by being spoken. He warmed to that. “Well, like I said, I am a hospitable laird.”
“You are thoughtful, I suppose, but you still have forced my father into confinement as a prisoner.”
“He is free now.”
“Yes, but…” she wanted to continue, it seemed, but she didn’t. He moved closer to her, thinking that she’d mumbled something under her breath that he couldn’t hear.
“Speak up, lass.”
“Nothing. I said nothing.”
“Shocking, for I thought I could hear ye all evening, muttering things under yer breath. Invectives against me and my character, nae doubt.” He liked the way that she didn’t cower back from him. She stood her ground and moved her hands to her hips, where he could see the curve of her waist. He tore his eyes away from there and returned them to hers.
“Nothing. You heard nothing. I was merely speaking to myself.” She threw her hands up in explanation, and he chuckled.
“Have I married a mad woman, then?” he asked, and he moved a finger to her chin to lift it higher, for she was looking down, and he found he wanted to see her eyes again. The color really was enchanting.
She swallowed. “No,” she replied, a menacing undertone to her voice which was not unlike her brother’s. “I am perfectly sensible. You, on the other hand.”
He ignored the barb. “Well, that’s good then. I shouldnae like tae be married tae a madwoman even if I have nae plans tae bed the lass. Nae enticing enough tae tempt me, especially nae an Englishwoman.” His voice was low and gravelly. He was trembling again, and he just assumed it was his old anger.
Her lips tightened, and he found his eyes moving there. There was not one feature of her face that was not intriguing. Her mouth was small, but her lips were plump and pink. Now that he was so close to her, he could smell the rose water from her bath.
“Well, I am satisfied then. I had no plans to bed you, either. Far too brutish for me.” Her gaze flicked over him, and her mouth let out a sound of disgust.
She tried to pull away, and her chin slipped out of her grasp. But no, he could not have that. She couldn’t have the last word. She could not have power over him so early on in their marriage. Her people were the brutish lot, invading and killing at will, ruining his life forever. It was an Englishman’s blade that had slew his father, after all.
“Ye shall see brutish, then, Sassenach.”
He grabbed her arms and pulled her back towards him. Her green eyes flashed wildly, and before he could stop himself with sense and logic, he placed his mouth upon hers.
