Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Six
Rose’s odd feeling of excitement at Euan’s presence in her room was great. He was also frightfully drunk, and he practically stumbled in when he’d passed her in the doorway. He’d just come to tell her that he had no plans to bed her. That at least was a relief, but it was a strange thing to do and at such an hour. She was just planning to go to sleep and finally relieve some of her journey and worry fatigue from the day when he’d knocked on her door and practically filled the room.
He was a very tall man, but it wasn’t the height that made the room seem so full with him in it. There was something about his very presence that exuded confidence and power. Even though it was April, the winds were still chilled, and he wore a fur around his shoulders, making them look even bigger. Rose tried to instruct her body what to do, but it seemed to react of its own accord.
The closer he neared, the more her body warmed, and she was powerless against it. He was so very male, so painfully handsome, that she had to cross her arms, put her hands on her waist, or clench her fists to keep from reaching out for him. And then he touched her with his finger again on her chin. His face was so close, so delectably close. She could smell the whisky on him as well as the scent of smoke, and then there was something else, heavy and intoxicating, that must have simply been him.
She swallowed as he made his jokes, her eyes trailing to his mouth now and again. She had never, ever been kissed before. And when just a minute ago, she had wished her new husband out of her room, now she wondered what it would feel like if he kissed her. And after she’d tried to leave his grasp, he pulled her back and then kissed her. It was the most surprising thing. She stilled, her eyes open, shocked at what had just happened. Then he began to move his mouth over hers, slowly, softly. It felt so heavenly that she mirrored him. He had claimed it would be brutality, kissing her, and yet it was not. Not in the way she’d thought.
His lips were so warm, and she could feel his arms moving around to her waist, and out of instinct, her hands moved behind his neck. He opened his mouth, and she copied him, and when she felt the first tip of his tongue as it made its way into her mouth, a slight moan escaped her throat. Suddenly, she pulled away, horrified at what had just happened.
No, she could not do this with her husband, the man who had forced her into marriage. Fumblingly, she rummaged for the knife she’d put in the dressing gown pocket and pulled it out, opening it so that the blade glinted in the firelight. For a few seconds, there was no sound except their breathing, and they stared at each other.
Then Euan burst into laughter. He glanced at the knife. “What were ye going tae do with that, lass? Kill yer husband? And then ruin the alliance we have just created, perhaps even causing a fresh war?”
She trembled, but she wouldn’t let him mock her with his words. “I will not have a man lay with me like that, not even a man who is now my husband. He will die first.”
Euan narrowed his eyes at her. “I would never take a woman in that way. As I said, I have nae interest in bedding ye, lass, especially that ye are English. Yer countrymen are responsible for the deaths and torture of thousands of Scotsmen, all for the sake of a bloody alliance.” He crossed his arms and looked down at her with scorn. “I have nae doubt that ye despise me greatly. Just ken that I despise ye just as much if nae more. And I would have tae bloody be a lot drunker than I am now tae even consider it.”
He turned around and stomped to the door. She couldn’t help her tongue running away from her just one more time before the night was over. “Do not think that you could possibly despise me more than I despise you!”
He paused at the doorway and turned around, a wicked gleam in his eye. “Well, ye must have fooled me, lass, with the way that ye kissed me back.”
Rose gasped loudly, and Euan grinned before turning back to the hallway and shut the door behind him. Hard.
Rose realized that she had never been so humiliated in her entire life. It was time that she get her body under control if it was the last thing she did.
The next morning, she awoke, and the memory of last night hit her like a ton of rocks. “Oh no…” she said, slapping a hand to her forehead and laying back down on the bed, wishing she could go back to sleep again and forget everything. In her sleep, she could pretend she wasn’t married, that she was back in her family home and living life as mistress of the house, in control of her own fate.
But the images wouldn’t leave her be. And the one thing that she simply couldn’t forget was that kiss. She didn’t have anything to compare it with, but that kiss made her tingle all the way to her toes. Even hours after in the light of morning, her cheeks flushed at the way she’d moaned into his mouth, her hands pulling him closer to her, wanting to taste more of him, feel more of him. It was a good thing she’d come to her senses before something more had happened, but it was already too late because Euan had realized her desire. He had mocked her for it just as he’d left the room, and now she felt even more powerless against this weird game between them.
For a game was what it was now. She was under his power, and she had hoped to find some sort of power of her own by speaking back to him and sharing her opinion. Still, unlike the other members of her family, he could match her wit for wit. It was infuriating but at the same time invigorating. She turned over in her bed to think more and avoid facing the day when there was a soft knock at the door. A young girl opened it, peeking her head inside.
“Good morning, Lady Rede,” she said in a girlish voice and moved inside before softly shutting the door behind her. “I am so glad that I didnae wake ye.” Rose got out of bed and sighed. Yesterday morning she was just Rose Sayer, son of a knight, and living in England. Now she was Lady Rede, and the view outside of her window was the rolling hills of Scotland.”
“Good morning,” she replied, happy at least that the maid seemed kind and cheery.
“I am Susan, Lady Rede, and I will be yer lady’s maid. Ye will have tae forgive me for last night. I had tae go and tend tae my sick sister in the village, so nae one thought tae replace me for yer evening. I hope ye were nae too much troubled.”
“No, not at all.” Rose felt herself relaxing already as she made her way to the basin that Susan had just filled with warm water. She washed her hands, face, and neck, and Susan began to unpack the trunk in the corner of the room.
“Ye must simply tell me what ye wish tae wear today. Will the Laird be taking ye about the castle this morning?”
Rose smiled at the young girl’s innocence. She could only be about 18, and there was so much darkness in the world that she had yet to see. She had no idea that Rose had been forced into marriage and would most certainly not be invited by her new husband for a tour of the castle. Not that she would accept him even if he asked.
“No, Susan. I do not believe so.”
The young girl turned to face her as she was hanging a chemise over her arms. “Well, then I shall do it! If it is nae trouble for ye. Ye are new tae the castle and tae the country, and I would be happy tae show ye all of it.”
Rose wanted to cry at such kindness. She needed it then, and she thought of her own maid Mary and Mrs. Drummond back at her father’s estate, moving on in their lives without her. “Thank ye, Susan, I should like that very much.”
“Well, then, we shall get ye dressed for a Scottish morn, and we shall be out and about as soon as we can.”
Rose smiled as she removed her dressing gown.
* * *
Hell was headaches. For as soon as Euan woke that morning, he felt a battle was going on inside of his skull. Pounding, beating, and throbbing, were all going on at once, and he could barely open his eyes; the pain was so great.
The whisky is tae blame, of course.
As he tried to sit up with a groan, he remembered that he’d nearly finished the battle the evening before, just after he’d slammed the door of Rose’s chamber.
After she’d kissed me back.
He’d been a complete and utter fool, kissing his wife in a drunken haze, but even though he knew it was not a good idea, he had never felt anything like it. Her lips were as soft as they looked, and he had been carried away, pushing his tongue out to taste her and savor her, and then she’d moaned, sending a heated frisson of desire down his spine. Her body underneath his hands was slim yet curvaceous, and at that moment, he’d wanted nothing more than to explore it further. But she’d been the more sensible one and had pushed away.
He remembered the feeling of disappointment and then the feeling of hilarity when she’d pulled out a blade on him. “I had certainly nae expected that.” He grinned to himself, despite the pounding headache. He was so surprised that an Englishwoman could be so full of…surprises. It was like around every corner, there was something new about her. And she’d yelled at him just before he left, and that had surprised him even more.
It was too bad that they both despised each other, for that could most certainly never happen again. It would be a foolhardy choice when he planned never to bed her, and she also seemed to have the same idea. However, that kiss showed her not to be so innocent after all. Was it possible she was no longer a virgin? He practically growled at the feeling of possessive jealousy that filled him at the thought of some other man having been with her before. He also couldn’t shake the feeling of something like disappointment at her easy rejection of him.
Never mind, lad. Put her out of yer mind. The deed is done, and now ye can rest easy.
As he washed his face with ice-cold water, he knew that it couldn’t always remain this way. Lairds needed heirs. Usually, someone else would take over the position if the laird didn’t have any, but there was no one in his case. No relative to take over as laird when he died. He would need an heir. But he wouldn’t think about that just now.
He dressed and then made his way down to the hall, where breakfast was already laid out. He sat and then was surprised to find no one there. When he spied a servant coming to fill his cup, he asked, “Have the Sayers left already?”
“Aye, laird, they left nearly at dawn. They said they didnae wish tae stay any longer.”
He grunted. “And nae goodbye for their relative who remains behind.”
“Nae, Laird. Only that they wish her well.”
“And Lady Rede? Has she nae arisen yet?”
He ignored the pang of guilt he felt at how they’d left things the day before.
“Aye, she has gone with Susan around the castle.”
“Och, I see. With Susan?”
“The lady’s maid.”
“Aye, aye, I ken who it is, I just didnae ken they would be doing that.”
“I think she wanted a tour around the grounds and the like.”
“I see.” He tapped his fingers in a rhythm on the table, and then noticing the servant was watching him curiously, he waved the young man away. It would be better to eat alone than to be observed while his mind whirred. So, she was off on a tour of the castle with her lady’s maid. He hadn’t been informed about it or asked about it until his own servant told him.
He stabbed a fork into a sausage. His anger was starting to boil in him again. Last night he’d had some relief, as the situation was so ridiculous that he’d laughed about it, and then there was that kiss.
Nae, I will nae keep thinking about it. What good does that do?
He ate for a little while alone, trying to think of the tasks he needed to complete that day but unable to focus on them. All he could think about was how he’d gotten himself into such a strange situation, and he wasn’t sure how to proceed. He had no idea how to be a husband. His father had been kind and loving to his mother, but he hadn’t had parents for over five years. He had been too focused on himself to take any note of what they were like together.
And even worse, he was not even a proper husband, but just one in name. How did one act with a new wife? He didn’t realize that he would turn into a weakling after marriage, struggling to think of what to do when he was usually so confident. He would bark orders to his men, and they would obey, and that was that. He had been in a war, for God’s sake, and he knew the dangers of it and the sorrows. But now, with a new wife on his hands whose kiss had thrown him off-kilter, he had no idea how to continue. It was a completely new situation, like swimming in a strange sea, and he was at a total loss.
After he finished his breakfast, he was resolved. He would simply go about the castle and do what duties came to him when they came into his mind. That was all. It was a perfectly sensible plan, and if he happened to see Rose while she was walking around with Susan, well, what of it?
