Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Seven
“Ihad no idea that castles in Scotland were so large,” Rose said, her eyes moving over the large, impenetrable gray walls under the bright morning sun. The sight of it thrilled her. As she turned to look out over Rede land, Euan’s land, she was amazed at its size. So open, so vast, so unending, it seemed. Hills and forests, and tiny dots of houses in the far distance. And the sea. The gray sea with its light sound of waves not far away.
The air was fresh and clean, and to Rose’s delight, didn’t smell like a barnyard which her home had. The stables and farms were far too close to her father’s estate to go a day without the scent of manure in the air.
“Are castles nae as large in England, my Lady?” Susan put a hand to her mouth, stifling a giggle.
Rose blushed, but she laughed as well. “I suppose I am not so well-traveled, that is true. I have never been to London, nor have I seen another castle. I was kept at my father’s estate for my whole life, and it’s just a manor house, not as large as a castle.”
She really was amazed. The castle was old, ancient. Susan had told her it was at least a century old. One could tell by the moss that clung to the stones and the way it filled the landscape with its dark, looming, powerful presence as if it had stood there from the beginning of time.
Not unlike Laird Rede.
Apparently, her mind was getting out of her control as well as her body. She clenched her jaw in frustration. Susan’s invitation to wander the grounds was welcome. At least she wouldn’t have to face her new husband for a little while. She could think about something else rather than his lips on hers or the strength she sensed as she clung to him desperately, throbbing with a need she didn’t know she possessed.
“Well, I suppose I have never been tae England myself, so I cannae blame ye.” Susan smiled and pulled Rose’s arm into hers. “I should rather escort ye like this, my Lady. I should hate for ye tae fall, and then I will have Laird Rede’s wrath upon me that I was unable tae protect his new wife.”
Rose burst into surprised laughter. She looked down at the young woman’s arm on hers. She found she enjoyed the camaraderie. It had been a long, long time since she had had such intimacy. “I do not think that Laird Rede cares one way or another.”
“Och, donnae say that. He married ye!” Susan giggled. “Besides, Laird Rede is a good man. So loyal and caring for his people. He is the one who told me tae go and help my sister. He even sent food and money tae assist me.”
Rose lifted her brows. That was surprising, indeed.
“I see. You must be grateful for that,” Rose said, not willing to agree that he was a good man, but she didn’t want to hurt her new companion’s feelings.
“Aye. He is very kind.”
“But he seems so gruff and unmannered.”
“I think that is just his way,” Susan mused. “Ye get used tae his moods after a while. I have been here almost two years. Now, let me tell ye a little bit more about the castle.”
They walked around the whole of the building, and Rose could spy the sea not far away. It was her first time, and she felt its fresh breeze waft over her. She shivered.
“Och, are ye warm enough? I ken that yer mantle is a good one, but I could fetch a fur if ye like.”
“No, thank you. It is my first time by the sea, you know. I was merely enjoying the breeze. I am warm and well. I thank you.” Susan had even pinned her cap tightly to her head, so she was warm enough. As they walked, Susan spoke of the castle. She seemed to know a great deal about the various entrances and exits. She’d whispered, “There are many who have clandestine lovers’ meetings. We must ken how tae get in and out of the castle without being seen.”
Then she’d covered her mouth and blushed brightly with glee. Rose couldn’t help but feel lighter in the young woman’s presence. When Susan was there, it was like nothing bad had happened. She could think about her new life as the lady of a clan without dread. She still hadn’t seen her husband yet, and while that was a good thing, she knew she would see him sometimes, and it made a hard ball of nerves clench in her belly.
After about an hour outside the castle, they’d wandered indoors, and Susan was taking her through the various rooms and pointing out important paintings. Rose stopped in front of one, a man with a sword looking regal and exactly like Euan. “Is this the Laird?” she asked, pointing up at him.
“Nae, that is his father, although they do look rather alike. Everyone has always said it.” She stared up at it. “I was too young tae ken the man, but my mother and father used tae work here as well, and they always told me how kind he was, how benevolent. They were heartbroken when he died.”
“When did he die?”
Susan scrunched up her nose. “My ma told me it was about eight years ago, I think. When the laird was only 18.”
“18.” Rose breathed out. “Such a young age to be the laird. And his mother?”
“Och, she died long ago, I believe. But it was his father’s death that made him hate the English so. Och, ye will forgive me, my Lady.”
Susan’s blue eyes were filled with concern, and Rose smiled. “Oh, it is no trouble. I know my husband’s feelings about the English very well, indeed.”
He told me of them well enough last evening. I believe ‘despise’ was the word he’d used.
Her anger from the previous day flared up again, but she tried to shake it off. It wouldn’t do to show one’s anger about one’s husband in front of a young servant. A dear, sweet one at that.
“Well, his father was killed in the war only the first year intae it. He says that the English cut his father’s throat after taking him prisoner. My brother, he is one of the guards, and he told me that’s what the current laird yelled at yer father, my Lady.”
Susan’s eyes widened, and she clamped a hand over her mouth. “Och, I seem tae be saying all kinds of nonsense today. I shall have tae ask ye tae forgive me again!”
Rose reached out and pulled Susan’s hand down from her mouth. “No, you must speak freely if it is on such a matter. What do you mean? The laird told my father what happened to his father in the dungeon?”
“Aye,” Susan said, swallowing nervously but nodding. “I think he meant it as a kind of threat, a reminder of what he’d lost.”
“Yes,” Rose replied softly. She trembled to think that she had come so close to losing her own father. If she had not have come, then her own father’s throat might have been cut, and then he would have had a death lacking in honor. It wouldn’t have suited him. It wouldn’t have suited her to be without him either. Despite her hatred, she understood Euan’s anger. His father had been deprived of any honor in death, and Euan had been deprived of his father. “How terrible.”
“Indeed.” Susan’s face was somber for a moment before it brightened again. “Come along, mistress. I should show ye the library.”
“There is a library?” Rose’s heart suddenly swelled with hope. There was something good in the world, after all. She wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. She must have thought all Scots were illiterate brutes, especially the laird who forced her into matrimony. The English had often spouted such opinions, and Scotland had always seemed a world apart, even though she lived not far from their border.
“But of course. Have ye nae a library at home? My ma told me that all wealthy ladies and gentlemen have libraries. It is the way of things.”
Susan led the way down the hall.
“Yes, we do, but it is not very large, and I had hoped in the next years to increase our volumes, but then, of course, the war was affecting a lot of things. Worrying about books was not something I could afford to do.”
Susan grinned as she paused at a doorway and opened it. “Ye may now enjoy yerself, my Lady, for there are books aplenty here, and the war is finally over.” Rose’s jaw nearly dropped when she saw the sight of the room in front of her. Shelves upon shelves, books upon books, and all hers now that she had married into the Rede Clan.
“Can this be a real place?” she asked, stepping into her dream. She had always been an avid reader, ever since she was a child. Her father had taken to reading to her each night. Even now, they had spent hours in front of the hearth, reading to one another. It was her great solace. A pang of loss that her family had left went through her heart. Her father, her brother. She swung around and said, “Oh, Susan, what of my father and brother? Are they nae awake yet? I cannot imagine why I did not think to ask of them before! I suppose I have been quite distracted.”
Susan shifted uneasily on her feet. “Aye, ye have been busy. There has been much going on.” She bit her lip and then said, “They left early this morning. A few hours before ye rose. I only heard before I came tae see ye.”
Rose felt the pain of tears behind her eyes. Her family left her. She swallowed the tears back. “Why did you not say?”
“I am sorry, but I thought ye might have kenned. I also didnae think it a good way tae start taegether. Tae give bad news. It is bad luck, ye ken.” Susan looked miserable, and Rose took pity on her. She was not angry that Susan didn’t tell her; she was angry because her family had just left her without a final goodbye. She had hugged them the night before, but still. “Was there nae message?”
“I will ask, my Lady.”
“Thank you.” She turned her eyes back to the library. Perhaps it was good they were gone. It would ease the pain of starting her new life, not to drag out their goodbyes. She would write to them anyway. “So many books. It is beautiful, Susan. Thank you for showing me.”
“Of course, my Lady. I cannae even read, but there is something about this room. I love the smell of it. It makes me think of faraway lands.” Susan waved a hand in the air, and Rose laughed.
“Well, I could teach you to read, if you like, Susan, and then you could experience the faraway lands for yourself?”
Susan looked at her as if she had three heads when they both heard a booming voice in the hallway. Rose closed her eyes. Her lovely new husband was coming.
* * *
Euan knew that his manner seemed strange. As he wandered about the castle on his duties, there was something always in the back of his mind. Rose’s words about despising him more than he hated her. He couldn’t shake them, and he was infuriated as to why. Why on earth should he care what an Englishwoman had to say about anything? It was not as if her words were surprising. He despised her as well, so they were equal in that matter, but perhaps because he had bumbled his way up the stairs to her room to make an explanation, and she’d rejected his kiss?
He distracted himself by watching the men training, discussing the departure of the Sayers with his head guard, and speaking to the servants about an upcoming feast in celebration of the wedding. It was good to keep busy, but he needed a break. He wanted to sit and think for a while to sort things out before he could move on with his day. He was also glad that he hadn’t yet run into his new wife. He wasn’t sure about what he’d say to her just yet, not when she’d already muddled his brain after their first evening together.
The library. That was where he needed to go. It was one of the other rooms in the castle which gave him comfort. While the study was the smell and feel of his father, the library was the warmth of his mother, for it had been her favorite room. Whenever he couldn’t find her growing up, he knew that he could find her there. She’d died so long ago, and yet whenever he stepped into the library, he thought for a brief moment that she was there, just reading in the corner like she always had.
As he passed down that familiar hallway, he met one of his men. “Och, Seamus, will ye tell the groom tae saddle my horse? I will be out from the library in an hour or so and wish tae ride.”
“Aye, laird.” When Euan turned away, he noticed that the door to the library was open, and he stepped inside. No one used the library except for him, and the servants only went in to clean it.
And then he heard a soft giggle, a light feminine laugh, and he turned his head around a shelf to see his wife and young Susan in conversation. He pulled back a little, wishing he hadn’t entered the library at all, but a fierce feeling of possessiveness came over him. This was his room, and now that she was his wife, she would be coming here also. Would he no longer have peace?
“Laird Rede,” Susan said with a smile, curtsying. “I was just showing the Lady Rede around the castle today. I thought she might enjoy the library, as it is my favorite room in the castle.”
Rose was watching him warily but at the same time almost daring him to say something. Her arms looked like they were itching to cross over her chest to put some sort of barrier between them, but she kept them by her sides. He could tell her mood by the simple curve of one of her brows.
So, I am getting tae ken my wife so well already, am I?
Or it was perhaps because she was so charming that it was hard to look away. He put his hands behind his back and stood up taller, hoping that his looming presence would make her back down and stop her from looking at him in that enticing, teasing way. What a dangerous woman he’d married.
“I didnae realize it was yer favorite room, lass,” he said, finally tearing his eyes from Rose’s. “We share that in common.”
He smiled, and Susan did the same, beaming with happiness. She was a kind young woman, very spirited, and he was glad that she had become Rose’s lady’s maid. It would at least give her someone to speak to while he was busy ignoring her. He turned back to Rose. “Do ye like it, Lady Rede?”
She stiffened but nodded her head. “Yes, I do. It is adorable.” Her eyes moved about the room, but he kept his gaze locked on her face. There was a hint of a smile on her face. “You can tell someone loved this room. It has been well-used, well-loved.”
“Aye.” His hands gripped one another tightly behind his back, and he felt an odd lump in his throat. “It was my mother’s favorite room.”
Rose’s eyes whipped back to his. She paled a little. “I see. Do forgive us for disturbing you.” She began to leave with Susan at her heels. Euan felt an odd sense of loss at her departure. He turned and said, “Have ye been well-cared for? Are ye comfortable?”
She looked serene and regal, and her gown was made of dark velvet with gold brocade. Here was a true Lady. “Yes, my comfort has been seen to, Laird Rede.”
Her brow curved as if pushing him to mention what had passed between them. He cleared his throat. “Good then. I am glad for it. Enjoy yer day,” he added lamely, and when she nodded and left the room, he rolled his eyes.
Walter would be bending over with laughter if he could see his friend now.
