Catherinelle by Diane Portman-Ray

 

19

 

Who would have thought that a weekend that started with a man bleeding out at my feet would end with the best days of my life? We spent the weekend in the house, just the two of us. Us in the bedroom, us in the living room, us in the kitchen, on the couch, in the shower. Us everywhere. Saturday morning, he prepared me a bath, bubbles and everything, and Sunday night, I poured him a scotch in bed while we were watching Dirty Dancing, which Hugo hated. It felt good; it felt…conjugal.

We did have a long discussion about Gino, and no matter how much I loved my brother – and I did, a lot – I was tired of him getting between Hugo and I. We wouldn’t tell him. We just wouldn’t tell Gino about what was going on between us until he was ready to accept that I was all grown up and able to choose who I loved. And I loved Hugo.

It had to be that simple, right? It had to because life without Hugo was not a damn option.

On Monday, the first day of the holiday break, I woke up alone and stretched like a cat to shake off the soreness from the three rounds of fucking – love making – of last night. After minutes of laying in my bed, preparing myself for a new day of blissful, erotic exploration, I got up and went into the bathroom, only to find a post it on my mirror. The note said simply `hungry` in hectic capital letters, and it made me roll my eyes and frown. I wasn’t expecting a poem or anything, but this man needed to open up, or at least give me more than one word at a time.

Already plotting my revenge, I showered, washed my face and brushed my teeth and went on a hunt for my man with just the towel wrapped around me. I took the stairs so the elevator wouldn’t ruin my surprise and went to the second floor looking for him. The halls were empty, but I heard the sound of dishes clinking on the kitchen counter and smiled, thinking about how he was going to choke on his food when I walked in there and dropped my towel. I stopped for a second behind the double doors of the kitchen and put on a serious face before stepping inside and opening the towel to reveal my naked front.

“Catherinelle, what the hell are you doing?!” The bark made me freeze in my tracks.

My brother – my brother! –  looked away from me, frowning straight into the sink drain, and when my brain registered the information that he was really right there, my jaw dropped. I covered myself so tight, I felt like a burrito.

“W-what are you doing home so soon?” I was dizzy from the all the blood that rushed to my cheeks, making me turn into a tomato.

Muse, who was standing next to Gino, came to me in a hurry and handed over her wool cardigan so I would have something more substantial hiding my body. Jesus, this was embarrassing.

“Hello, Cat,” she said with an understanding smile on her face. “We cut the trip a few days short because Gino was called back with business. He was also eager to check on you, but it seems you were having a blast on your own.”

I was. I really, really was before Gino bulldozed in here. I guessed he had every right, since it was his house, but still. There would be no more nights falling asleep in the big arms of my Monster or waking up with him between my legs, making my toes curl. Fucking damn it to hell!

Finally, my brother turned around when he was sure I was tucked away from his view.

“This is what you do when I’m not home, Cat? Dance around naked?”

Actually, no, brother…I’d been riding Hugo naked.

“No! I was just coming down to have some breakfast. Umm…where’s Hugo?”

One of Gino’s eyebrows crooked with suspicion.

“Were you expecting him to be here when you walked in?”

An alarm bell started to ring in my head, reminding me that this wasn’t only my brother I was talking to. He was one of the smartest, most dangerous men on the East Coast. Gino was like a K-9; all he needed was a faint scent to follow, and I’d better not give him one before I was sure he wouldn’t take his gun out and start capping people.

“What are you talking about? I just wanted to know if the Ogre was out now that you are home. Seriously, Gino, I’m getting tired of having the doomed one following me around.”

Muse laughed and gave me a quick hug.

“Looks like nothing changed when we were gone, Gino.”

“I can see. Well, Cat, since school is out for you until after New Year’s, you’ll see a lot less of Hugo.”

The knot formed in my throat so fast it almost chocked me.

“I…you’re releasing him from guard duty?”

Gino chuckled and shook his head.

“Let’s compromise. If you behave for the holidays, I’ll let you off the hook. You’ll still have a guard, but it won’t be Hugo, and they’ll stay a few steps away at all times.” He came and placed a kiss on my forehead. “I’m not a bad man, Cat, not to you. You’re finishing high school; you just want to have a little bit of fun before life starts to happen. I get that, but I still need you to be careful.”

And he picked now to realize that? Now, when I needed him to be the crazy, protective, irrational big brother and put Hugo on my case twenty-four hours a day?

“Ok.” It was all I was able to say.

“No nightclubs, no drugs, no hormonal boys chasing after you. You have to give me your word.”

“I…yeah.”

I heard the bing sound of the elevator and turned to see Hugo walking in with a bunch of papers and a yellow envelope.

“Here are the things you asked for, boss.”

He went straight to Gino without even breathing in my direction, and I had to wrestle with my impulse to clutch his hand and beg him not to leave. Oh, my Goodness, this was torturous. Five minutes my brother was home. Five minutes of secrecy. Five minutes of Hugo being away from me, and I was already feeling kindled by the flames of Hell.

“You move fast, Mustafa.” I watched them exchange something. Hugo gave Gino the papers, and my brother handed him a stack of cash and a black shoe box. “Will you drop this for me?”

“Will do. Welcome home, Don. Muse.” But his voice was as dry and hollow as I felt inside.

Nope, not ready to say goodbye.

“Ah, you’re on your way out. Great, you can drop me off at Bloomingdales. I have a dress to pick up.”

No one was paying attention to Hugo, but I saw him go rigid.

“Cat,” my brother cut in. “Hugo has been here for days. Let the man go to his own home. I’ll call someone else to take you later. Ignazio likes to shop; he can keep you company.”

“I can take her,” Muse offered, and I wanted to yell at her to keep it shut.

“No, baby, you’re tired after the flight. I want you in bed all day.”

“Oh, come on!” I cut them off. “The jackass is going anyways. Can’t he drop me off?”

I looked straight at Hugo, silently begging him to help me out, and finally, he jumped into the conversation.

“It’s fine, Gino, I can take her.”

“Good man, Mustafa.”

I gave Gino and Muse another hug, telling them that I was happy to have them back – and half of me was – and then turned on my heels to go and get ready. Forty minutes later, I walked out of the house, and Hugo was already waiting for me next to his Rover.

I walked straight to him but stopped when I was welcomed with the hardest look I’d ever seen on his face.

“Do not touch me; do not reach for me. Don’t even think about it, Cat. Just get in the car.”

“Ok.” I nodded, and for the first time in my life, I did exactly what Hugo Mustafa told me. He’d better not get used to it.

When he was behind the wheel, and we were turning onto the main street, I started to feel a little more relaxed. It was just us again.

“Hugo.”

“What time do you finish at the store?”

Ha? Oh, right.

“I don’t have to pick anything up.”

He looked at me quickly before turning to look at the road ahead.

“Then where the fuck are we going, Cat?”

“I wanted to talk to you after the Gino surprise. Don’t do that.”

“Do what!” he roared, but I dismissed it.

“I fell asleep on your chest last night, Hugo. Don’t turn into an iceberg and freeze me out just because my brother is back.”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, just looked straight forward and let out a few furious breaths like he was a bull at the corrida.

“I don’t know how to this, Catherinelle.”

My heart dropped into my stomach.

“Do what?”

“I don’t know how to not look at you. I can’t sit with Gino and lie to his fucking face, knowing that I’m sleeping with his sister behind his back. He’s my boss, he’s my Don.”

“And I’m your…” but I stopped.

What the hell was I? What the hell were we? I was not his girlfriend; a man like Hugo, who was brute force was not the one to be called a boyfriend. In the end, it didn’t matter because whatever it was, it was worth defending.

“You are,” he said, and the lack of hesitation calmed me down. “But you don’t get it, Cat. I exist to help your brother. My only mission in life is to make sure he succeeds as a leader. You were raised to be a princess, a fucking queen. I was raised to watch Gino’s back and protect him with my life. I can’t be the one who puts the knife there. I can’t.”

He wasn’t mad, but some kind of disappointment was hanging heavy on his shoulders. He felt like he was failing my brother, but it wasn’t fair.

“What are you saying?”

“We need to stop, Cat. I don’t want to. I meant every word I said to you, but we need to.”

His almost love for me was not good enough – not strong enough – to keep us bound together. My gut was telling me that we would make it if Hugo would stop pulling away.

Disarmed by the conversation and feeling the pain cracking its way into my chest, I looked out the window so he wouldn’t see the tears gathering in my eyes.

“What about me, Hugo?”

“What?”

“What about me? Papa made sure Gino would have you to watch over him, even if it meant ruining you in the process. My grandfather is old; my mother is thinking about traveling the world. Gino is getting married. Ignazio is mourning Enzo. What about me?”

“Cat, come on,”

“If you look after Gino, who’s going to look after me?” The tears finally spilled out and started running slowly on my face. “Who’s gonna protect me when everyone else is busy with their lives? Who’s gonna protect me in a year or two when everyone who seeks an alliance with Gino will start chasing my hand?”

This last part got to him because the car started moving close to the curb and came to a stop.

“Look at me, princess.” His words were so smooth, I couldn’t help but obey. “I didn’t mean to say you’re not important. I’ll always be there watching over you. Whoever might try to get to you will have to get through me. Do you think anyone will succeed?”

The question made me smile through the tears.

“You’re built like a wall, Hugo. A tank couldn’t take you down.”

“See? Nothing to worry about, baby girl.”

I undid my seatbelt and crawled over the console to get closer to him. He caught me in an iron embrace while I took his face in my hands gently.

“It’s not enough, Monster. I need you close to me, kissing me, holding me. I can’t go back to not being with you, Hugo.”

“It’s hard for me too.”

It wasn’t hard. It was impossible.

“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. A part of me was hating this. I was Catherinelle Nucci. I didn’t beg. I didn’t ask twice, but here I was. “I won’t make your life hard. Let’s make a deal. Nothing goes on when Gino is within a fifty foot radius. No games, I promise.”

“I hate lying to him, Cat. It makes me sick. A man is nothing if he doesn’t have honor.”

“I’m not happy about it either. He’s my big brother, and I love him. I have never kept anything from Gino, ever, but I can’t not love you. I’m in too deep, Hugo.”

“Fuck.” He pulled me into a kiss so intense, I was afraid we would combust. When he unleashed the beast on me, life came back into my body because I knew he had turned back to me. “We’ll find a way, baby girl.”

“Good. So you won’t go back to your threesomes and the lineup of whores.”

“Don’t be coy. And stop referring to my history with women like you know what you’re talking about. It doesn’t matter now. Now it’s just you.”

I devoured his mouth and soaked in his words to the point where my desire was dripping down my thighs, and if it wasn’t broad daylight, we would have christened the car together. We had to use caution though. The last thing I needed was to be arrested for public nudity.

“Monster?”

“What now, princess?”

“Why don’t we go and drop that package Gino was so concerned about and then you can take me to lunch.” When he looked at me sideways, I rolled my eyes. “Somewhere private where no one will see us. I told you, no games.”

“Deal.”