Knocked Up By Love by Ella Goode

Chapter Sixteen

Honey

I almost feelbad for Bear. I don’t know how long he paces up and down the hallway, worry etched on his face. I’m sure Paige’s words are running on a loop in his mind. I know they are mine. This is all a giant mess. I still can’t believe what happened between Bear and me.

I’m blaming it on my hormones. And the fact that the past month has been super stressful with everything that happened. But I can’t think about any of that now. The main focus is making sure Paige is okay. I hate the fact that she’s hurting.

I’ve always loved little kids for as long as I can remember. Growing up in the system, they were always around. I’d bounced around homes a bit growing up and I almost always ended up giving an extra hand when it came to the little ones. I enjoyed it. Being a nanny was an easy choice for me when I graduated high school. College was more of a pipe dream.

If I ever had the chance to really go, it would have been for teaching or early education. When I’d gotten the job with the Lawrence family it was perfect. Not only did I get to be a nanny, but I got a roof over my head in a freaking dream home. They provided everything for me. It was the first time in my life that I didn’t have to worry.

While education was important to me, my real dream was to have a family of my own. To raise my own little ones. This past month living with Bear and Paige has made me realize much I truly wanted a family of my own. The three of us had fallen into this easy routine that made it feel real. Bear had really filled the shoes of fatherhood. That alone has been playing with my head.

Earlier, when he had pressed his mouth to mine, I lost all thoughts. The only thing I knew was I needed to get him inside of me. That I wanted to get lost in the fantasy of him and me being real. Hell, of all of this being real. I can’t fault him either. He’d clearly been lost in the moment too.

In all honesty, with each day that passes, I’ve fallen a little more for Bear. With the way he treats not only Paige but me too. It would be hard not to. He’s shown a side of himself that I’m sure not many people get to see. A more vulnerable one.

He’s become my protector too. More than he knows. Since I’ve come to stay with him, I don’t watch over my shoulder anymore or think someone from my old life might find me and make their way into the house. I know there’s no way in hell that Bear would allow that to happen.

I peek open the door and look down the hallway. Seeing the coast is clear, I head for Paige’s door, giving it a soft knock. She doesn’t ask who it is. She knows from the knock alone. I wait for her to let me in. A few seconds later, the door creaks open. Her little face pokes out. Her eyes look a bit puffy from crying.

“Can I come in, sweetheart?” I ask her. She nods, stepping back to open the door more. She shuts it behind me. The second it closes, she throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around me.

“Please don’t leave us.” She clings to me.

I drop down to my knees, pulling her into my arms. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“I’ve never had a mommy before. Ever. You make the best mommy.” I close my eyes, hugging her while trying not to cry. There have been too many tears in this home.

“I’d love to be your mommy. Anyone would be lucky to be yours.”

“So you’ll do it?” She lifts her head.

“Do what?”

“Bear. You’re going to marry him? Then you have to stay together.” She heard that part. Her big blue eyes are wide, waiting for me to answer her. I’d pushed his crazy idea to the back of my mind because there were so many other things I needed to digest at that moment.

“You want me to marry Bear?” She nods her head.

“It’s not that easy.”

“I know. There is a short waiting period.” She releases me from the hug to run over and grab her phone. “You have to wait three days after you get your marriage license.” She holds up three fingers. Those big eyes stay trained on me while she waits for an answer.

“Okay.”

“Yes!” She squeals, running back to give me another hug.

What did I just do? I can’t marry Bear. For one, he doesn't love me. He more wants a mom to come in and help with Paige. I’m sure he only made the freaking suggestion because he was in a panic seeing how sad and freaked out Paige was.

“Let’s get you into bed. You should be asleep.” I grunt, lifting her off her feet to carry her over to her bed to lie down.

“This is going to be the best.” She snuggles into me.

“Are you doing better?” Bear asks from the doorway. Paige sits back up, nodding her head.

“I’m not mad anymore. You guys will get married and then we’ll be a family,” Paige informs him. He walks over, pulling her into a hug before he settles into the bed on the other side with Paige between us.

“I like this idea,” he agrees with her. I glare at him from behind Paige. He only smirks back. My traitorous body heats in response.

“I could be a flower girl. I’ve never been a flower girl,” Paige says. It’s followed by a yawn.

“You’d make a cute flower girl,” Bear agrees with her. I wish I could reach over and slap him.

We can’t get married. He’s lost his mind. Not only does the man not love me, but he really has no idea who I am.