At First Hate by K.A. Linde

Savannah

Present

Derek docked the sailboat with Ash’s help while us girls huddled together. It was always a few degrees colder on the water, and the breeze had chilled Amelia and me to our bones. Thank God for the extra blankets Derek had on board. Besides the cold, we had a perfect day out on the water. The wind had filled the sails. Ash was drinking less and starting to look like a person again. And Derek and I were just together. As we should have always been.

“There we are, ladies,” Derek said, tying the boat to the dock. “You’re all set to return to the heat.”

Derek offered me his hand as I clambered out of the boat. Ash helped Amelia out, and then we all headed to Ash’s Audi SUV. I let Amelia take the front seat and sat in the back with Derek. He kept his arm around me, pressing occasional kisses into my hair on the drive back.

Ash dropped us off at Derek’s place, and I waved good-bye as they drove away.

Derek pulled my hand to his mouth and pressed kisses into my skin. “Don’t go.”

I laughed. “I’ve been with you all day.”

“So? Stay longer. Stay forever.”

I looked up into his eyes in surprise. I was expecting to see him laughing with that pouty smirk on his lips. But he was serious. He was actually serious.

“I’d like that,” I admitted. I pulled my hand out of his. “Can I rain-check for later? Maybe tonight?”

He stepped forward into my personal space, cupping my jaw with his hands. “Whatever you want, Mars. I just missed you and want every bit of time you’ll give me.”

I smiled and leaned into the kiss he planted on my lips. “I want that too.”

“Then, hurry back,” he breathed against my mouth. “You should just stay the rest of the weekend.”

“So greedy,” I teased.

“For you. Yes.” He hungrily kissed me again. “Just think of all the things that I’m going to do to you when you get back here. I have a whole list in my head. It’s probably going to take a long, long time to get through it.”

I flushed from head to toe. “Filthy.”

But I pressed myself into him regardless, devouring all of his kisses and imagining every single one of those things he’d do to me later. Which was likely his intention. He wanted me to rush back to him—or preferably, not leave at all.

We’d waited so long for this. So long. I should have been able to wait a little bit longer. It was hard enough breaking away from him to get back in my car. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to stay and be with him and make up for all the lost time. It was easy to drown in Derek Ballentine.

“Mars,” he said, leaning into my car to meet my gaze. He pressed a kiss onto my mouth one last time. “I couldn’t let you go without that.”

I giggled and kissed him again. “You’re insatiable.”

“Yes. Come back soon.”

He pulled back and tapped the roof of my car. My heart was full, and my stomach was all fluttery. I hadn’t felt like this in so long. So very long. I parked outside of Gran’s house, skipping up the front steps and doing a little twirl on the porch. The light blinked on the answering machine. I deleted the spam messages and ignored the one from the executor of the will. I didn’t want to think about that today of all days. I just wanted to shower the sea salt off of me, drink some of Gran’s sweet tea, and answer my work emails for a few hours before going to see Derek again.

I T-shirt-dried my hair, plopping it on the top of my head, and then headed downstairs. I poured myself some tea and got settled in when the doorbell rang. I audibly groaned. Now was not the time.

I pushed my laptop away from me and trudged to the front door. I swung it open, only to find my mother standing on the doorstep.

“No,” I said, trying to close the door before she could get her hooks in.

“Marley Sue,” my mom said. She held her hand out to stop me from slamming the door in her face.

“What do you want, Hannah?” I emphasized her first name and not the fact that she’d birthed me.

She sighed. “I want to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk.”

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“Since when?” I demanded.

“I’m your mother. Surely, a girl can be worried about her own flesh and blood.”

I rolled my eyes. “Again, what do you want? We both know that you’re not here because you care about me.”

And for the first time in a long time, I saw tears come to my mom’s eyes. “Oh baby, I’m sorry.”

I retreated uncomfortably from the display. My mom was fierce and a train wreck and resolutely stubborn, but she was never vulnerable or sad. Despite everything, I felt for her. Just for a second, but it must have been long enough for it to show on my face. Even when I hadn’t wanted it to. She had to be up to something, but she was still a person.

“Can I come in?” Mom asked.

I tipped my head back and then swung the door open. “This better be good.”

My mom strode inside as if she owned the place, which immediately got my hackles up.

“What’s this about?”

She turned around and swiped at her eyes. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Our entire life? You might need to be more specific.”

“Since you’ve been back in town.”

“Oh, why would that be? Is it because you’re contesting Gran’s will?” I asked sarcastically.

“That’s not personal, honey. You know it isn’t about you. It’s not that I want you and your brother to have nothing. I just think that Gran changed her will under duress. It was done a mere two months before her death when she was dying from cancer.”

“Because of the fight you had with her. It was her money. She could do with it what she wanted.”

My mom nodded. “I know. I agree. But it was all split up between us for decades. It seems unlikely she’d change her mind about that on her own after so long. I pushed all of her buttons growing up, and she never cut me off before.”

“Well, she finally saw who you were.”

She tilted her head. “Do you really think that?”

I crossed my arms. “I was there. I remember how upset she was.”

“Enough to cut me off forever?”

She had been, but my mom would never accept that. I thought Gran should have done it a long time ago. Mom had abandoned Gran in the same way that she had abandoned me. That was what she did.

“You really think that,” my mom said softly. “I thought we could get along. We could see eye to eye on this.”

“Why? Why would you think that?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No?”

“Like mother, like daughter.”

I blinked at her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re sleeping with my attorney. He has enough money to comfortably take care of you. We can call it even then, honey.”

I balked at her words. The horror and outrage dawning on me. “That’s why you’re here? Because you found out that I’m dating Derek?”

“Of course. I understand your long game.”

“How did you even find out?”

“What does it matter? I’m not mad. I’d probably do the same in your situation.”

My face went slack. She thought I was sleeping with Derek to get his money. Just like she had always done. It was her only logical explanation to finding out that we were together. And I couldn’t fucking believe it.

“Gross, Mom. No! Derek and I are not together for his money.”

“That’s not what his wife is saying.”

I reared back. “Derek is divorced. Are you saying that you heard about us from Kasey?”

She snapped her fingers at me. “Kasey. Yes, that’s her name. Derek’s wife. I met her at a golf tournament this morning with my latest beau.”

“Ex-wife,” I corrected. “They’re divorced. Not together.”

My mom shrugged, and a sly smile touched her lips. “You’re sure?”

My stomach knotted at that question. At the way she thought that she had me here. “Yes, I’m fucking sure. And if you’re here to extort me because the guy I’m seeing has money, you’re in a losing battle. That is never going to happen.”

I couldn’t believe that Kasey was claiming to still be married to Derek. But on the other hand, I could. Or to think about how my mom had heard about it all and twisted it in her head. That somehow, I was like my mother. It infuriated me. I was nothing like her. Nothing.

“It’s time for you to go,” I said, storming to the door. “I thought you were going to actually be a human being, but apparently, I was wrong.”

“Marley,” she said with a shake of her head.

But I yanked the door open and pointed for her to leave. “Go.”

Then, something flipped in my mom’s brain. It was like a lightbulb. I’d seen her do it to Gran so many times that I shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d do it to me.

“Fine,” she snarled. “You want to think we’re so different, but Derek is just manipulating you.”

I rolled my eyes. “What are you even going on about?”

“You think that he likes you? He’s trying to win a case. For being so smart, you sure are stupid sometimes. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

There was nothing at all that I could say to that. This was classic narcissist bait. No matter how I felt, I couldn’t show it. Was it possible that Derek was using me to try to win this case? Sure, anything was possible. Was it probable? No. Not the way he’d talked to me today. Not after all this time. Derek didn’t need to resort to that shit to win me over or to win the case.

“Go,” I repeated.

“If I were you, Marley Sue, I would make sure that what you’re getting out of this is everything you think it is. Because that boy is going to realize that you’re not worth it any day now, and you’re going to be left with exactly as much as you had before—nothing.”

I narrowed my eyes at my mom. “I know exactly what’s happening between me and Derek, and I see straight through you.”

“If you want to be manipulated by him—”

“I’m not going to be manipulated by him,” I snapped. “I’ve had years of practice dealing with a narcissistic manipulator. All thanks to you. So, I don’t need to hear any more of your bullshit. I’m done. I’m as done as Gran was when she cut you out of her will. So, leave.”

My mom glared at me. “I’ll see you in court.”

“Looking forward to it.”

She grinned devilishly back at me. “Looking forward to Derek standing at my side through the proceedings?”

“To watching you lose and getting exactly as much as you deserve—nothing.”

Then, I slammed the door in her face.

My hands were clenched into fists, and I wanted to bang them on the door. Or better yet, into my mother’s face. She was so fucking horrid. She’d come over here to hurt me. To try to get under my skin.

I sighed and sank onto the ground with my back to the door. I wanted to say that it hadn’t worked. But it had. It wasn’t that I thought Derek was manipulating me or still married or that I was anything like my mother. Those things were fantasies she’d concocted to get to me. It had made me realize something else. Something I’d been avoiding the last couple months.

Derek and I couldn’t survive this court case.