Wanting by Lynn Burke

Addilyn

He’d ruined my first kiss. Broke Devon’s face, probably. Then he had to go and wreck my world in so many ways…

But at least Mother’s bedroom door had remained closed, her loud snores reaching me through the hall I raced down. Lloyd would ask questions, but I didn’t give two shits what Gideon decided to tell him. Lies, truth…it didn’t matter. Mother would learn about my sneaking out come morning, and I would face the consequences.

Pulling off my sweatshirt and tossing it into my hamper, I shivered at the memory of muscle against my back. Gideon’s arms caging me in. His hardness digging into the top of my ass, the way my scalp still tingled from his harsh hold.

I hated that I couldn’t keep from wanting him, how every tiny bit of pain he inflicted turned me on.

Pure…the last thing I was. Heat tingled through my face and chest.

A soft knock sounded on my bedroom door.

“Who is it?” I whisper-hollered, grasping the handle, my pulse once more thrumming.

“It’s Lloyd.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I pulled open the door but stood on the threshold, not inviting him in. Chin lifted, I waited for him to lay down the law and declare punishment for what Jenny and I had done, for the beer he must smell on my breath.

His gaze wandered over my neck for a moment, long enough that I shifted, tipping my head back down. “Your mother is sleeping,” he whispered, glancing at their closed bedroom door—as if I couldn’t hear her snores. “I’m not going to tell her where you were.”

Wait. What?

“I’d figured out what you planned. Devon’s dad told me he was throwing a party for you, but I decided to keep it from your mother since every sixteen-year-old girl deserves a chance to get her first kiss if she saved it special for that day.” He smiled and tugged on my hair, but without the sting like Gideon had caused.

“N-nothing happened,” I lied, hating that my voice shook.

“Well, if any boy tries to touch you without your consent, you let me know—my son included. And if you’re going to be drinking at these sorts of parties, please call me. I’ll make sure you have a safe ride home.”

I couldn’t hold his steady gaze, couldn’t understand why he would promise such a thing, so I picked at a thread on the hem of my T-shirt. “Okay.”

“Now get yourself in bed. Chances are, your mother’s sleeping pills will keep her in bed late. I won’t state otherwise if you tell her you arrived home from Jenny’s early in the morning for whatever reason you decide upon.”

He strode away, his steps taking him toward Mother, toward the woman he’d offered to lie by omission to in order to save my ass from punishment.

How could a nice guy like him have such an asshole for a son?

I quietly shut my door and leaned against it, my mind going back to Gideon and what he’d done.

“Damn jackass,” I muttered while I shimmied out of my jeans, thinking I needed a long, hot soak in the tub. Drink a shit ton of water and take a couple of Tylenol. Maybe sneak one of Mother’s sleeping pills so I could pass out without having to relive that moment of helplessness, of overwhelming need of having him pressed fully against my backside…

Heated breath ghosting across my nape.

The scrape of his scruffy chin over my skin.

Gideon had nosed beneath my ear like he couldn’t fill his lungs deep enough with my scent.

And his hard body holding me against the door kept me upright since the feel of him all over my ass weakened my legs to the point of giving out. Had he put his hands on me, beneath my sweatshirt and sought out the areas no man had ever touched, I would’ve let him.

What the hell is wrong with me? I turned the lock on my bedroom door, scowling at myself. I hated Gideon—

Sounds of the shower sprang to life in our shared bathroom, stealing my focus as it always did. The door on my side stood cracked open an inch, and I stared, catching a shift of a body inside.

Blue sweatshirt that matched the shade of Gideon’s eyes.

Dark jeans that clung to his powerful thighs, the knees ripped out.

Skin.

Good God, skin.

My alcohol-numbed feet moved on their own—I swear on all things holy.

How many times had I lain in bed, listening to Gideon shower? How many times had I imagined what he did in there? Shamefully wondered who he thought of whenever a hint of a groan reached my ears.

Too many.

But I’d never been buzzed enough to give into the fantasy of sneaking a better peek of what I’d only seen once before. Strong hand gripping his hard length. Head tipped back, prominent Adam’s apple, lower lip between his teeth, eyes hooded while he stared at me.

I’d fantasized over that memory countless times, and yet I hated the jackass whenever he sauntered by me in tight T-shirts that showed off his upper body as well as those low-slung gray sweats that left nothing to the imagination.

The shower door had steamed over, but I could make out the shadowed image of Gideon beyond. Water from the showerhead poured over him, and rivulets of rushing liquid dripping from his long hair soaked over closed eyes and his scruff-lined jaw, snaking along every dip and valley of muscle beneath.

My mouth dried even as sweat broke over my brow and warmth rushed to wet my core.

The perfect amount of chest hair…a narrow line of it leading down over his abs, straight to the hard dick he held in his hand…

Holy. Shit.

A more delicious sight than I’d remembered. Thighs squeezing involuntarily, I gulped the sudden rush of drool, the noise loud in my ears. His hand paused, freezing me in place.

Caught. Fuck, I’m caught again.

Couldn’t. Move.

“Come here, princess,” his low voice caused goosebumps to prickle over my bare arms.

I couldn’t resist the crackling energy radiating off him.

Powerless once more, my feet—autopilot, I swear—took me forward, my shaking hand silently pushing the bathroom door in. I loathed the fact he opened the shower’s glass enclosure, letting out a rush of steam and giving me a full-frontal view to die for.

To salivate over.

Those sweats of his had filled my mind with an image of what lay beneath, but my memory didn’t do him justice. Long and thick, his cock jutted toward me, his balls tight up against his groin.

And his hand.

I swallowed hard, mesmerized with how he squeezed the base of his length and pulled upward, around the swollen head and back down all while the rain showerhead trickled water over his hard body.

“You look hungry.”

I jerked my focus upward, scowling at the smirk on his lips. “Fuck off, Gideon.”

“That’s what I was doing until I was so rudely interrupted, but the sight of you in nothing but a tank top and panties? Definitely spanking material.” He started to stroke himself again, but I refused to drop my gaze.

Who the hell was I kidding? He held me captive with those blue eyes, hooded and full of lust, the kind that kicked my hormones into hyperdrive. I understood Jenny wanting to climb him like a tree. I thoroughly understood her wanting to be rid of that V-card.

I ached for it.

Gideon stepped closer, hovering at the shower door’s edge. Head tipping back, he peered down at me.

Mere feet away.

I could reach out and touch…

He held the base of his cock and pushed it downward, pointing the tip directly at me. “Want to help?”

Guess the lick along my lower lip hadn’t gone unnoticed. “No,” I whispered—a compete fucking lie and he knew it.

Caressing one side of his penis with his thumb, Gideon kept it angled toward me. Tempting. Tantalizing. Offering.

Clear liquid welled at the slit, and I realized I stared. Panted. My heart thrummed so hard in my chest I wondered if the alcohol I’d consumed made me hallucinate.

Perhaps I’d passed out and dreamed I’d willingly walked into the bathroom. Watched my stepbrother while he jerked off. Squeezed my thighs over thoughts of having his massive cock worked into me. Because with what he packed, there wouldn’t be an easy glide, no matter how wet and willing a woman’s body—

“Let me paint your lips, princess. Give you a little taste of what you’re hungry for.”

“God.” I gulped again. Ensnared by his hand moving over his length.

Another stroke of his thumb, and that droplet at the flared head dripped toward the shower floor…

“Two little steps, Addilyn,” Gideon enticed me with his low, rasped voice that sounded like my insides felt—shredded and ready to combust. “Get on your knees and let me feed you my dick.”

“N-no,” I whispered again, staring. Trembling.

“On. Your. Knees.” He bit the words out, pointing at the marble in front of him.

Still, I hesitated—couldn’t flee and yet couldn’t make myself obey either.

“Get on your knees for me, or I’ll tell your mother where you were tonight.”

Bastard.

I shot him a glare.

His head tilted back further, and he pointed his length right at me. “Knees. Now.”

Three shuffled steps I didn’t plan on and I did as he commanded, regardless of the way he pissed me off. The cool marble of the floor kissed my knees, and I blinked up at Gideon, into eyes once more wild with want. All thoughts vanished from my head.

I was clueless over what to do.

My body combusted into flames beneath his narrowed gaze.

He’ll tell on me if I don’t, I reminded myself, explaining away my obedience to a direction I hadn’t wanted to take. Drunk—I’m drunk—

Slickened heat rubbed over my lower lip, and I gasped.

“Fuck, princess.” A muscle jumped in his jaw as he smeared his pre-cum all over my parted lips. “Stick out that sassy tongue and taste me.”

I flicked out my tongue.

Salt and musk.

Gideon.

Whimpering, I sank onto my haunches, pulling away from him yet still staring up at the guy I told myself I hated. Someone I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to, shouldn’t allow to touch me like he did.

I licked at the wetness coating my lips.

Someone who shouldn’t taste so damn good.

He grabbed hold of my hair and yanked me forward, my widening eyes slamming shut as he shoved his cock past my parted lips. Thick enough my jaw stretched and long enough I gagged.

“Jesus, fuck.” His groan brought wetness to smear inside my panties even as my eyes watered, hazing the vision of him looming over me.

Can’t breathe.

Rather than panic, I relaxed into his grip like the girls in those porn videos did, allowing him to use me, my nostrils flaring as he cupped my chin. He backed off enough so I could suck in air. Then shoved in again fully, straight into my throat.

My stomach heaved at the force of my gag reflex, but he held steady, blocking off my stomach’s contents, and I swallowed to keep from spewing through my nose.

“Christ,” he swore through clenched teeth, his abs contracting, his hiss tingling from my nipples to my clit. “So goddamn hard for you—always.”

Can’t. Breathe.

My hands found his hard thighs, my fingernails digging in but not enough to break skin. I couldn’t make a sound past the thick cock choking me.

I shouldn’t like that I knelt before him in a worship position, that arousal continued to grow between my legs at his harsh use of my mouth and the tight hold he had on my hair. Even buzzed, shame filtered through, Mother’s words of purity and saving myself for someone I loved making me close my eyes.

“Look at me.”

Nostrils flared, desperate for air, I did as told. Hooded and heated with lust, his eyes stared down at me, his chin tilted upward like I was less than him. A worthless hole to get him off.

Rather than dig my fingernails into his skin and draw blood, my lungs attempted a whimper. My core spasmed.

“Princess…”

I didn’t pull away as he eased up, allowing me to breathe. I didn’t bite down on his thrusting length like Mother had told me to do if a guy ever forced me into something I didn’t agree to.

Nope. I leaned forward, allowing him to fuck my face like he owned it—because I wanted him to use me.

“Fuck, yeah. Take it all, princess. Swallow down every drop I’ve got for you.” His fist knotted in my hair. Yanked me forward to meet his thrusting hips, tingling pain rippling over my scalp.

A moan rose from my chest, and I squeezed my thighs together. I liked it, I realized—no, I loved his grunts, his curses, like I’d brought him to his knees.

That vortex of energy swirled between us, a connection neither of us could deny.

I held his gaze as he used me and came undone.

Two more thrusts, and he jammed in deep again, an eruption of salty cum shooting into my throat, gagging me.

His deep groans pulsed through my core as I struggled to swallow every thick spurt, and I whimpered, desperate for him to touch me, to give me the same relief shuddering through him.

“Goddamnit.” Gideon pulled away and slowly pressed back in my mouth with a last tremor, an excess of his cum dribbling down my chin as he held my stare. The heat in his eyes faded, the coolness from when I’d first met him taking over his blue orbs. “Thought you were an innocent princess,” he said, backing off and letting go of my hair as his cock slid from my tongue, “but you suck dick like a queen.”

Warmth shouldn’t have curled in my belly at his praise.

“Been watching porn, Addilyn? What do you think Ingrid would say if she learned her sweetheart wasn’t as pure as she bragged?”

My breath hitched as heat singed my face, and a prickle of shame crawled over me.

Gideon smirked down at me, his chin once more tilting up. “Look how the mighty princess has fallen—”

My insides ignited, and I did dig my fingernails into his thighs until he yelped, hopping back beneath the shower’s spray. “The fuck!”

“Go to hell, jackass” I spit—literal remnants of his cum coating my mouth—at him and spun on my heel, stumbling like a drunken idiot to escape the bathroom.

I yanked the door shut behind me, but I could feel Gideon’s gaze through the oak. I could taste him on my tongue. The lingering thickness of him still aching my throat.

Insides jumpy with the need to punch something, my eyes welled, and I cursed every bad word I knew. Cursed Gideon, cursed his dad. Most of all, I swore at myself for being such a weak idiot and giving into what Mother had warned me about. Submitting to lust. Soiling my purity. Allowing a man to take advantage of the filth I’d filled my mind with.

I’ll blame the alcohol.

I burrowed beneath my blankets and called Jenny, spilling it all, sharing my dirtiest, darkest secret, every second of what had transpired, same as I always did to the one person I could trust. Yet she didn’t offer comfort for my tears or my confused emotions, just what sounded a lot like jealousy.

“I honestly don’t know why you’re so upset, Addy,” she grumbled. “I would give every cent in the bank to have a moment like that with him. You’re so damn lucky, yet you’re bawling like it’s the most godawful shit you’ve ever done.”

Because it was. She knew Mother’s rules, what I’d been taught since I learned the difference between boys and girls.

But to her, those morals didn’t matter. Never had.

“Did you get home okay?” I asked quietly, eyes squeezed shut over the fact I’d been behaving like a selfish bitch—like Mother, only thinking about myself. Of course Jenny wouldn’t want to hear about the guy she lusted over taking his need for release from her best friend. “I’m sorry I left without telling you.”

“Yeah.” She blew a breath out. “Drank too much and didn’t get a chance to lose my V-card. Now I’m home safe and sound thanks to Devon’s brother.”

“You’ll find someone who deserves it, Jenny. I know you will—and he’ll appreciate the gift you saved for him.”

“Uh huh. Gotta go.”

“Okay.” Hanging up, my stomach soured even more.

I had never felt so damn alone in my life.