Wanting by Lynn Burke

Addilyn

“So, talking about needing to get laid and V-cards, tonight would be a good time for it,” Jenny said, breathless with excitement.

“I’m only interested in getting my first kiss,” I reminded her.

We’d made popcorn and locked ourselves in her room, turned up her TV, and readied to go to Devon’s.

“Will Gideon be there? I’d love nothing more than to hand it over to him.”

I fought off a scowl while applying another layer of mascara. “You can have him. All he ever does is stare at me, and I’m sick of it.”

Jenny let out an exaggerated sigh through her nose while rubbing her gloss-slackened lips together to coat them better. “Sounds like heaven to me.”

I snorted, angling my head to check my sparkly eyeshadow’s blend from peach to the perfect shade of browns. “Hardly. Every time I turn around, he’s there. Lurking. Up my damn ass.”

“I wouldn’t mind him up my ass.”

“Gross.” I forced a laugh like I’d have done before getting jealous over the idea of my best friend and stepbrother. I elbowed her, smearing the second coat of lipgloss she applied across her cheek.

“Bitch!” She laughed, grabbing a tissue to clean up the mess I’d caused. “I heard anal is hot as fuck. Hurts, but in a good way.”

I rolled my eyes even though warmth burst through me at the thought of being held down and taken how I’d secretly fantasized about—more than once.

“Come on.” Jenny tossed the dirtied tissue into the trashcan. “I think that’s Devon’s brother’s car lights out there a little ways down the road. Let’s live it up—celebrate your sweet sixteen and the warmer weather. You can finally have your first kiss, and maybe I’ll get lucky and your brother will show up and give me what I want.”

The image of them together flashed through my mind—and my gut twisted up tight. I eyed my best friend as she reapplied her lipgloss. I did not want Gideon touching her. Kissing her. Whispering naughty stuff to her like he did to me.

But why not? If he went for Jenny, he’d leave me alone. Was I…

I’m not jealous.

Flouncing my hair, I focused on the other thing she’d said. Warmer weather meant the school year’s end drew closer, and a whole summer lay ahead of us. May also meant Gideon’s eighteenth birthday and him moving back to California once he graduated.

But that truth didn’t help ease my slight frown. It left me chilled as I slid beside Jenny onto the backseat of Devon’s brother’s car.

I’d hated my shadow the previous couple of months, but the thought of losing him didn’t sit right either. Somehow, I’d gone from despising him to…relying on him. Trusting. And secretly wanting even though I couldn’t have him.

Sixteen, and I ended up with my first red, plastic cup of beer in hand, a buzz making me think I could dance. Jenny and I ground against one another, laughing and shouting to hear each other over the thumping music.

Devon’s father and mother had gone away for the weekend for their anniversary, leaving Devon’s brother as man of the house, but he took off after dropping me and Jenny at their front door. That left Devon in charge of their basement’s bar and liquor bottles lining the back wall. Add in a stereo and a few dozen bored teens, and the house rocked from second floor to basement where Jenny and I danced.

Buzzed bodies. Spilled beer. Laughter and face sucking. Probably fucking in the bedrooms upstairs.

While I wasn’t in a rush to give up my virginity like Jenny, I enjoyed the hell out of losing my stalker for the night. The lack of the lurker meant Devon, the kid who’d been madly in love with me since the second grade, got a chance to approach me without being told to fuck off by my so-called brother.

Thoughts of Gideon heated me up rather than Devon weaseling his leg between my thighs while we danced. But my eyesight wavered with my first buzz ever, and all was right in the world. Sweat dampened my back and forehead. Still, I danced on, loving the feel of hands on my waist, the hard chest against mine.

Devon wasn’t tall like Gideon. Didn’t tower over me or melt my panties, but I tasted freedom for the first time in months, and the giddiness of it—along with my buzz—made me want to throw all caution to the wind.

“Want to go outside and cool off?” Devon half-shouted in my ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down my neck. “Bonfire is pretty much toast, but we can still hang out if you want.”

“Yeah!” I hollered back.

Jenny elbowed me as we started away and shot two thumbs up. Giggling, I held tight to Devon’s hand, nearly tripping in my haste to keep up with his hurried steps.

“Where we going?” I asked with a laugh as he shoved open the slider leading into their back yard and pulled me after him.

Cool air swept over my heated skin, sending another shiver through me. A few of his buddies stood around the remains of the bonfire a little ways to our right, but rather than head for them, he went straight toward the tree line beyond the yard.

“Thanks for not bringing Gideon along with you tonight.”

I snorted, still stumbling after him as he clutched my hand. “Why?”

“So I could finally have a chance to do this.”

My body spun, and I found my back against a tree—and Devon’s mouth on mine.

First kiss…

Devon moved his lips with ease, soft yet determined, and I wound my arms around his neck, parting my mouth at the stroke of his tongue.

I waited for the fireworks. The consuming lust that would make me want to lay down and spread my legs regardless of his friends cat-calling our way.

Nothing. Not one burst of a spark, no heat between my thighs.

Could a first kiss be any more disappointing?

Thoughts of Gideon and his promised kiss if I’d wanted it filtered through my mind, making my heart race.

Devon’s mouth was just…wrong.

Shivers slid down my spine, waking the fine hairs on my skin as he stroked my tongue—but I recognized the awareness for what it was.

Gideon…

“I’ll fucking kill you!” a voice roared, one my spinning head knew.

Devon ripped away from me, and I blinked open my eyes, trying to focus on the swimming scene in front of me.

A flying fist.

A crunch.

Another blur of fists. Curses and blood. Hollering and the wet sound of flesh colliding.

Devon’s groan as he sank to the ground registered, his face a mess of red. He’d been beat to shit, I slowly realized—and lay there, unmoving.

I lifted my head, but my eyes took time to make out the hulking beast I blinked into focus. A chest-heaving hunk of gorgeous male with dark wet splotches covering his sweatshirt.

Warmth grew where it shouldn’t have.

“What the hell, Gideon?” I slurred, smacking his way but missing his arm.

Devon’s friends shouted again, and one started toward us, but Gideon growled at him like a damn bear, pulling him up short.

“He’s not allowed to have you.” Gideon turned his furious gaze on my face again.

Swaying, I stomped my foot. “I wanted him to!”

“Did you?” Gideon moved in on me faster than I could escape, and my back slammed into the tree again. His face lowered. Hot breath caressed my lips. “Did you really?”

Well, shit.

The arousal missing from Devon’s kiss swelled between my thighs, and I gulped, blinking up into wild, animalistic eyes made darker by the night surrounding us.

Time seemed to slow—silence grew heavy, thick with a tension my buzzed brain couldn’t make sense of.

Had his violence turned me on? Devon’s blood all over Gideon’s fists? Or was it simply him being all up in my personal space?

He was like a vortex of energy sucking me into him…

And I stood powerless to withstand his draw.

“No one touches you.” Gideon grabbed hold of my arm before I could lean into him, and he dragged me up the slight incline toward the front yard, his steps sure and determined while I stumbled to keep up with him.

“Asshole!” someone called after us, bringing clarity once more to my mind.

I hissed and wrenched against Gideon’s hold, but he didn’t ease up as we left Devon behind. A quick glance over my shoulder made my head spin, but I was able to focus on the fact his buddies huddled around him. “You hurt him!”

“Yeah? I warned him to keep his hands to himself, didn’t I?”

I pulled against Gideon’s hold again, but his fingers dug deeper into my forearm. The pain registered—and turned me on.

Sick—I’m so sick.

“It’s my body, and he can touch me if I want him to!” I shrieked, smacking at his bloodied hand wrapped around my arm but only out of anger at myself, for getting aroused by his aggression.

Gideon yanked open the door to his Cherokee and tossed me into the passenger seat like I weighed nothing before slamming me inside.

Even new, the interior held the essence of Gideon. Soap and dryer sheets—no rich cologne for the California boy.

He smelled damn delicious, and filling my lungs clear to the brim while he rounded the vehicle tightened my lower belly and made my insides ache for something I’d only read and fantasized about.

Something I couldn’t have. Something I told myself I didn’t want, even though my body disagreed.

Thoroughly.

Scowling, I pulled my cell from my back pocket and texted Jenny, letting her know I was heading home.

He climbed in beside me. “Who are you talking to?”

“None of your goddamn business,” I snapped, shoving my cell into my pocket. I crossed my arms and stared out the passenger window, hating what his nearness, his protective nature did to my body.

Gideon would take me home, Mother would find out I hadn’t been at Jenny’s house, and I’d be grounded along with losing my cell for at least a month.

He didn’t speak the rest of the ride.

So I didn’t either.