The Actress and the Aristocrat by Katie Ashley

Chapter Fourteen: Randall

Iawoke the morning after the Chelsea Flower Show to my phone going off like crazy. Rob had set an alert to go off anytime my name appeared in the press. After what had happened with Lydia, I’d shut it off to spare the further humiliation. But last night before bed, I’d decided to turn it back on. Sure, I wanted to hear praise for the garden, but I could’ve read through those anytime. Call me an egomaniac, but I was more interested to see what the press had to say about my new relationship.

Rolling over, I grabbed the phone off the nightstand. Anxiously, I clicked on one of the alerts. Squinting at the title, I read, A New English Rose for Earl Whittingham. As I skimmed the article, a jolt of validation surged through me. While the journalist was full of praise about this year’s garden, she spent an entire paragraph on my new romance.

After throwing on my glasses, I started clicking through the other articles. Each one I read was abuzz with news of Eliza Littleton and our new romance. There was one columnist in particular I wanted to seek out. While her real name was anonymous, she went by the title of Debrett’s Deb. She cheekily took her pen name from Debrett’s, which published a list of the aristocracy of the United Kingdom. Anyone who was anyone wanted to find their name within the pages of Debrett’s. Ironically, no one who was anyone wanted to find their names within Debrett’s Deb’s column. She’d been known to wreck marriages and alter a family’s standing with her exposé.

As I clicked on her webpage, a feeling of dread filled me. “Bollocks,” I muttered when I saw she had led with a story about Eliza and me. Frantically, I read through the content. She gave us approval and praise. “Bloody hell, we did it,” I murmured.

I was almost finished with the alerts when the door to my bedroom flung open. A somewhat disheveled Charlie burst inside. She didn’t apologize for her unkempt hair or the fact she was still in her pajamas. Instead, she demanded, “Have you seen what they’re saying about us?”

With a chuckle, I replied, “I see someone else has alerts set for the name.”

“Of course, I do. Well, I do for Charlie Monroe. I had to add one for Eliza.” Tilting her head, she asked, “So, did you read them?”

“Yes, I did. And I would say with what they’re saying about you, it seems you charmed every member of the press yesterday.” It wasn’t necessary to explain she had impressed me as well.

And it had taken me a while to fall asleep last night because of what she’d told that gutter press lowlife too. “What’s next on your line of questioning? Asking about our sex life? It’s bloody amazing, thank you very much. Or perhaps you’d like to ask about his todger? I find it impressively large and extremely orgasmic!” Impressively large and extremely orgasmic? God, how I’d chuckled.

With an excited gleam in her eyes, she challenged, “Oh, it’s not just me they’re raving about. Did you see the one who said they hadn’t seen you as relaxed or happy since your mother’s passing? Or what about the one who led with the title, ‘Is One of Britain’s Most Eligible Bachelors Off the Market’”?

I couldn’t deny feeling quite chuffed by her commentary. After being dogged and dragged through the press, it sure as hell was nice seeing the compliments. “Yes, I saw those, too.”

A sheepish expression came over Charlie’s face. “I’ll admit I also searched out our douchebag journalist, and he didn’t have a single mention of us in his gossip section.”

“Thank God for that,” I mused.

“We really hit it out of the park, didn’t we?”

“Yes, we certainly did. If it wasn’t seven in the morning, I’d suggest we had a drink to celebrate our success.”

“There’s always mimosas,” Charlie countered.

“You’re right. I’ll have Mrs. Homillier add them to breakfast.”

Charlie grinned. “I’ll even come down this time.”

“Wonders never cease,” I mused.

After a celebratory breakfast,it was time to get our heads back in the game. At noon, I had a charity polo match that I would be playing in. Several other members of the peerage, as well as celebrities, would be competing. Although we’d faced the specter of potentially seeing Lydia at the flower show, we’d thankfully dodged that bullet. Today, however, we wouldn’t be so lucky. Michael would also be playing, and as the universe apparently detested me, our teams would be playing against each other.

Outfitted in my uniform of a red jersey and white pants, I waited for Charlie at the bottom of the stairs. Just as I was about to call for her to hurry, she came down. As always, she looked gorgeous. Her dark hair was swept back into a knot at the base of her neck. She wore a navy dress with white polka dots.

“You look lovely,” I remarked.

“Thank you.” After taking me in from head to toe, her brows waggled. “What is it about a man in uniform?”

I chuckled. “This is hardly a uniform.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Regardless you look good.”

“And I appreciate your compliment.”

With a giddy expression, Charlie remarked, “I wonder what they’ll say about us today?”

I chuckled as we headed out the back door to the garage. “Let’s don’t get too hasty. Anything could go wrong at any moment, especially when you throw in the potential of seeing Lydia and Michael.”

“I’m just super stoked to see you in action on the field.”

I couldn’t help snorting as I steered her to the car. “Stoked? I think it’s time to adhere to your Eliza vocabulary.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied in her perfect accent. At the sight of the black Aston Martin, Charlie’s brows shot up. “Bertie isn’t driving us today?”

“No. You’re stuck with me.”

“I’m sure your road skills are impeccable.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“What about the horse?” she asked as I opened the car door for her.

“The groom from Sutherlin House will be taking him there.”

“Interesting.”

“You didn’t think we were going to pull a horse trailer behind the Aston, did you?”

She laughed. “Of course not.”

We then started the drive out of London to Windsor. Since it was all new to Charlie, I pointed out landmarks along the way. As she stared out the window, she remarked, “It’s crazy how much the countryside reminds me of North Georgia.”

“You’re not getting homesick on me, are you?”

Turning back to face me, she gave me a small smile. “Maybe a little. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been away from home a lot in the last few years. I guess it’s because I was back home with my parents right before I left to film Remains of the Season.”

“What would your parents think of what you’re doing?”

“They would be…” She tilted her head in thought.

“Appalled? Incensed?” I suggested.

With a giggle, she replied, “No. I was thinking more they would be proud.”

I tore my gaze from the road to shoot her a skeptical look. “Seriously?”

“Okay, so maybe they would be a little shocked at first. But then when they realized why I was doing it, coupled with the fact I was going to be meeting famous people, I think they would be proud.”

“I hope so.”

Once we arrived at the Guards Polo Club, I pulled around the lawn and parked. After helping Charlie out of the car, I took her with me to meet the groom. As we walked towards the holding area, she asked, “How long have you been playing polo?”

“Since I was a kid. It was my father who first taught me, and then I played at school.”

Charlie peered curiously at me. “You haven’t spoken of your father much.”

“Neither have you.”

With a laugh, Charlie replied, “My father is a cattle farmer where yours was the seventh Earl Whittingham and cousin to the Queen.”

“After losing him so young, there really isn’t much to tell. I suppose you could say he wasn’t your typical aristocratic father.”

“How so?”

My mind swept back in time to memories from my childhood. “He made time for Rob and me, and he wanted to be involved in our lives. While his world didn’t revolve around us quite like our mother’s did, he was still a good father.”

“Did they have a good marriage?”

“You’re certainly full of questions today, aren’t you?” I remarked.

She shrugged. “I’m just trying to know you better.”

“Yes, they did have a good marriage. While they were completely opposite, they complemented each other very nicely.”

“Let me guess. Your father was somewhat stiff and pretentious while your mother was more relaxed and free-spirited?”

I gazed over at her in surprise. “How did you know?”

Charlie grinned. “Just a hunch. Just like I can see you being just like your father while Rob is more your mother.”

“Rob is the X-rated version of our mother,” I mused.

With a laugh, Charlie replied, “You’re terrible.” And you’re so very beautiful. As Eliza and Charlie. Mother would have adored her, with her free-spirited ways and her ferocity. Apart from the vase throwing . . .

“Although she didn’t come from the aristocracy, she had still been brought up to be a lady. Rob was raised as a gentleman, but it didn’t quite stick.”

“Just like your mother and father, I think you and Rob complement each other very well.”

I shook my head. “He has you completely fooled.” Although, that wasn’t strictly true. Rob had always been the easygoing one between us. I’d once feared that Mother preferred his company. He was the one who could make her laugh through her pain and give her hope on her darkest days while I bore the burdens of her being the man of the house, along with her illness. But as if she’d known of my insecurities, she’d once told me how glad she’d been blessed with two such different sons. Because in her opinion, it gave her even more reasons to love her children. Their differences and their similarities. Unconditionally. And it was that love that I had missed so much since her passing. Especially after what Lydia and Michael did.

At the sight of my horse saddled and waiting, Charlie completely forgot about me. Apparently, she was one of those people who were smitten with any and all animals. She quickly hurried ahead of me to speak in high-pitched tone to the horse, which was good because it gave me a moment to speak to Mark, the groom.

Once Mark had left to go have a drink, I walked over to Charlie. “What’s his name?” she asked.

“Equinox.”

“How posh,” she remarked as she scratched his ears.

“That’s actually a good summation of his character.”

She grinned up at me. “I suppose then he is a bit like his master.”

“Somewhat.”

Charlie paused in her scratching to curiously eye the bag that Mark had brought. “Is that all your polo gear?”

“Yes, it’s my mallet.”

“Can I see it?”

“Of course.”

After reaching in the bag, I held it out to her. “It’s made from bamboo.”

“What does this number fifty-three mean?”

“It’s the mallet’s size. They come in three sizes: fifty-one, fifty-two, and fifty-three.”

She glanced up at me. “Yours is the biggest.”

For a moment, it felt like I’d been hit in the groin. I’d felt the same way yesterday when she’d made allusion to my cock and our sex life. When I finally recovered, I replied, “What a cheeky question, Ms. Littleton.”

Charlie laughed. “I think you’re being the cheeky one.”

“Fine then. To answer your question, yes, mine is the biggest.”

“Interesting.”

“There are three parts to a polo mallet: the handle, the shaft, and the head.”

Cocking her brows at me, Charlie said, “You just had to keep going with the cheekiness, didn’t you?”

Chuckling, I replied, “I cannot help it if two of the names relate to a phallus.”

Once again, Charlie’s laughter filled the air. “Did you really just call it that?”

“What should I have called it?”

After glancing around to see we were still alone, she replied, “I don’t know. Maybe a penis or a cock?”

“As a British man, I have a fondness for the slang terms of a willy or a knob.”

“So, you’d call someone a knob head rather than a dickhead?”

“Exactly.”

“I kinda like it.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. Slowly, I turned my head to see Lydia standing beside the Jaguar sports car I’d gone with Michael to purchase.

“Why so quiet? Don’t tell me you’ve suddenly decided to take offense to our conversation?”

“No. It’s Lydia.”

“Oh shit. Where?”

“Across the field. But don’t look.”

“Okay, I won’t.” To her credit, Charlie continued to scratch Equinox’s ears.

“I know she’s watching us,” I muttered.

“Here. Help me up.”

“Excuse me?”

“Put me on the horse.”

“Are you insane? I would never do something like that.”

“Exactly! Let her see how different you are with me and most importantly without her.”

As I chewed my lip contemplatively, I knew Charlie had a point. Not only that, it would catch the press off guard. “Fine,” I grumbled.

Charlie laughed. “Try to hold back your excitement.”

“Trust me, I am.” Tilting my head at her, I asked, “Have you ever ridden a horse?” When she gave me an exasperated look, I whispered, “I mean, outside of Hollywood.”

“Remember how I said I grew up on a cattle farm?”

“I didn’t ask if you rode cattle—I said horses.”

“Yes, smartarse, I know how to ride them.” At her cursing, Charlie’s face flushed. She glanced left and right to make sure we were still alone. “It’s just I haven’t ridden one in a vintage dress.”

“Go ahead and put your foot in the stirrup.”

In a somewhat unladylike gesture, Charlie kicked off her expensive pumps. She then hiked her leg to slip her foot in the stirrup. “Wait, there’s no horn.”

“It’s a different type of saddle.”

After fumbling to grasp onto a part of the leather, she tried pulling herself up in the saddle. “A little help please,” she called over her shoulder.

When she started sliding back, there was only one option of where I could help, and it involved her derriere. There was a part of me who didn’t like the idea. But then the more devious side was more than happy to oblige since it meant touching her intimately. Way to think like a pervert. “You’re not going to like this.”

“I’ll like it less if I fall in a heap,” she replied.

“All right.”

When my hands made contact with her bum, she squeaked, and I fought the urge to pull away. “I told you.”

“It’s fine. Just help me!”

After palming her buttocks through the fabric, I finally got a hold of her. Before I could enjoy the moment too much, I pushed her up and onto the saddle.

Once she was settled she glanced down at me. “Thank you for the help.”

“I apologize for the cheekiness of it.”

With a grin, she replied, “Do you mean your help or my arse?”

I laughed. “Both I suppose.”

“Thank God I picked a flowy dress to wear today,” she mused.

Although I was grateful the dress allowed for her not to flash her goodies, I couldn’t help feeling a little let down by how the unrestrictive nature of the fabric didn’t let me get a good feel. Okay, now I really was sounding like a pervert.

“You could’ve always ridden side saddle to preserve your dignity,” I suggested with a smile.

“Ugh, that’s the worst. I had to do that for a Hallmark movie a couple of years ago. I thought I was going to fall off the entire time.”

“It doesn’t look easy.”

“Okay, now show me how to play.”

“You’re really committed to this, aren’t you?”

“Trust me.”

“If you say so.” After retrieving a spare mallet and ball from the bag, I handed it to Charlie. “So, you strike the ball with the sides of the mallet, not the top.”

After tossing the ball in front of her, Charlie thrust the mallet out and missed the ball by a mile. “Don’t worry. Try again,” I urged.

When the mallet once again missed the ball, she huffed, “This is ridiculously hard!”

“In your defense, you are wearing a dress.”

“I don’t think that has anything to with it.” She urged Equinox back over to me. “Apparently, I’m just polo deficient.”

“Don’t be so defeatist.” I took the mallet. “First, you need to fix the way you’re using the handle.” Taking her hand in mine, I eased it through the strap and fixed it. Of course, I couldn’t help noticing how soft her skin was or how her hand fit so perfectly in mine.

I guess, I’d been focusing too hard because Charlie said, “What now?”

Get your head out of your arse and focus, Randall! “Don’t strike so hard. Keep your eye on the ball and twist the mallet in your hand to hit with the side.”

When Charlie licked her lips in focus, I completely lost mine again. She could’ve totally sent the ball into the stratosphere, and I wouldn’t have noticed. I was too enthralled by her mouth and pink tongue.

“I did it!” she shrieked.

“Did what?” I lamely questioned. Then it hit me what she meant. Shaking my head out of the clouds, I watched as the ball skidded across the grass. “Fantastic shot!”

“I’m sure it was your coaching.” In a low voice, she replied, “I think I’ve put on enough of a show, so help me down.”

After easing her leg over, Charlie turned to face me in the saddle. I reached my arms up to grasp her waist. As I pulled her off the saddle, her body ended up sliding down me. The fact my face rubbed against her soft breasts sent me on sensory overload. She felt and smelled divine. I fought the urge to nuzzle my face in the crook of her neck while pressing her closer against me.

Even after her feet touched the ground, my hands continued to grip her waist. With our faces inches apart, I stared into Charlie’s eyes. Of course, her usual blues were hidden by the dark contacts she wore for Eliza. As my gaze dipped to her full mouth, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

“Go ahead,” she panted.

“Excuse me?”

“You can kiss me if you want. It’ll look great for the cameras.” Because they’d think I was kissing my girlfriend.

And although it might have looked that way, it wouldn’t feel that way. Kissing Eliza was the furthest from the truth. I wanted to be kissing Charlie. Repeating what we’d started days before. I wanted to kiss her, and I didn’t give a damn who saw it or how it could further our romantic façade.

“No. It wouldn’t be right,” I replied before taking my hands off her.

Disappointment flashed in her eyes and I loathed that it was directed at me. “Okay.”

The horn sounded calling us to the field. “I’ve got to go.”

Nodding, she replied, “Go get them, especially Michael.”

I laughed. “I’ll try.”

After grabbing my mallet and helmet, I hopped up on Equinox and rode over to my team. It was always an exhilarating sport to play, but I was spurred on today. Unfortunately, Equinox and I ended across from Michael. As we stared each other down, Michael gave me a tight smile. “Hey mate,” he called.

Although I should’ve taken the high road and been the bigger man, I instead shouted back, “Fuck off.”

My teammates around me chuckled at my response. Before Michael could say anything else, the game began.

I didn’t know if it was having Charlie with me or if it was harnessing my rage towards Michael and Lydia, but I was a force to be reckoned with on the field. Every chukker pulled more and more of the fire within me. The anger. The embarrassment. The bruised pride.

Of course, it seemed Michael had an axe to grind as well because he stayed on my ass. We spurred several times before I knocked his mallet to the ground. “I said, fuck off!” I called as I rode away.

At half-time, I joined Charlie for the stomping of the divots. She took me by surprise when she dove into my arms. When she pulled away, she wore an enormous grin. “Can you believe this? It’s just like in Pretty Woman?”

I laughed. “I think it’s more that Pretty Woman included a very well-known part of polo.”

“True.”

“How are you enjoying the game?”

“I love it. You’re amazing!” she gushed.

“Thank you.”

“I especially like the part where you knocked Michael’s mallet away.”

I laughed. “I was pretty fond of that moment myself.”

At Charlie’s sharp intake of breath, I asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Lydia and Michael are coming this way. She looks pretty steamed.”

“He probably tattled on me when I told him to fuck off.”

Charlie’s eyes bulged. “You did.”

“Yes.”

“That was so bad ass,” she remarked.

With a snort, I replied, “That’s not entirely what I was going for.”

At Charlie’s horrified expression, I knew Lydia and Michael were upon us. “Hello, Randall,” Lydia said.

Since I’d already been petty to Michael, I figured I might as well continue with Lydia. I took Charlie’s hand in mine. “Perhaps now would be a good time to grab some refreshments.”

Surprisingly, I found Charlie speechless. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water for a few moments before replying, “That would be lovely.”

Ignoring Lydia, I walked Charlie and myself away from Lydia and Michael. “I can’t believe you just ignored them,” Charlie hissed.

“That’s better than causing a scene by telling her to fuck off like I did Michael.”

When Charlie peeked over my shoulder, I asked, “What are they doing?”

“She’s running her mouth a mile a minute while throwing her hands around while Michael is just nodding his head.”

I chuckled at the mental image. Although I normally wouldn’t drink during a game, I ordered two glasses of champagne. “Here’s to Lydia and Michael fucking off,” I said.

With a giggle, Charlie clinked her glass against mine. “To fuckers fucking off,” she replied.

At her very un-Eliza like response, I snorted into my flute. After gulping down the champagne, the horn sounded, signaling half-time was over. “Go on and kick more arse!” Charlie said.

“You’ve got to watch your mouth, Eliza,” I cautioned with a smile.

She scowled at me. “I think it’s time to rewrite a little of Eliza’s personality.”

“We’ll have to see about that.”

During the next quarter, Michael kept his distance from me on the field. Even though he wasn’t harassing me, it didn’t take anything away from my playing. Bolstered by both pissing him and Lydia off, as well as having Charlie by my side, I led my team to victory.

When it was time for the awarding of the victory cup, I accepted it. But I wasn’t alone. Charlie was right next to me, cheering me on. And after stealing a glance at Michael and Lydia, I’d won an even greater victory against them.