Outrageously in Love by Jen Morris

36

Mel wheels around. “What the fuck?”

I inhale carefully, trying to calm my frenzied pulse. You can do this, you can stand your ground. You’re not in the wrong here, she is. But she takes a menacing step forward, towering over me in her stilettos, and her eyes are so dark with fury that I actually cower a little.

“You can’t give a toast,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “It’s not appropriate.”

“What?” she spits—literally—and I take a step back. “I can do whatever I like.”

I shake my head. “Not here. This is Alex’s wedding, and—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. She’ll be alright. She’s a big girl.” Her lips twist into a smirk and I realize she’s trying to insult Alex’s body. It takes all my strength not to slap her.

The door opens beside us and I turn, surprised to find Myles poking his head into the corridor. He slips through the door and looks at me, ignoring Mel. I’ve only known the guy five minutes but I’ve never been so relieved to see someone in my life.

“What the hell do you want?” Mel snaps, but Myles holds his hand up in her face and she jerks back.

He continues to ignore her, speaking to me. “You okay?”

I look at Mel. She folds her arms over her chest, glowering down her nose at me. And something inside me says that I need to do this on my own. I’m strong enough to fight my own battle.

I give Myles a firm nod. “Yes, thank you.”

He reaches for the door handle, but it opens and Dena steps into the corridor. He glances between Dena, Mel and I, hovering. His eyebrows rise in silent question and I nod again. May as well face these two together. Two birds with one stone and all that.

“I’ll be right in here.” Myles gestures to the door and gratitude winds through me as he steps inside. How sweet of him to look out for me. Plus, I get the sense he’s about ready to destroy Mel too.

The door clicks shut and Dena turns to Mel. “Are you alright?”

Mel huffs, shifting her attention back to me. “You know, you and Alex might be the new girls around here, but you’re just nobodies from some hick town in the middle of nowhere. You’re nothing compared to the real women here in New York.”

Despite the sting of her words, I force myself to keep my gaze tethered to hers. This is misdirected anger, it’s not about me. She’s unhappy because of Michael and Henry’s toasts, she’s mad at Alex for marrying her ex, she’s a narcissist who doesn’t like to be challenged. I know that. But that doesn’t make her any less intimidating.

“Just because Alex has snagged Michael doesn’t mean you get Luke.”

My heart jolts. “W-what?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t think we don’t know what’s going on.” She challenges me with her gaze and I glance at Dena, but she just shrugs.

“Let’s go, Mel. It’s not worth it.”

“Oh, really?” Mel says, trying to stir the pot. “You’re not bothered that she’s moving in on your husband?”

“Ex-husband,” I say shakily. “And I’m not—” The words lodge in my throat as Mel takes a step towards me, backing me closer to the wall. My pulse surges and my eyes fly to the door. Myles,I was wrong. I can’t fight this battle alone. Come back.

Mel’s hands go to her hips. “It must be so humiliating being here as Luke’s dirty little secret.”

“I’m not—”

“He obviously doesn’t care about you. Why else would he be hiding it?”

Why would he want to hide what he has with you? Geoff’s words from Bounce come back to me and my airway constricts.

“He must be having some kind of early mid-life crisis,” Mel continues, sneering.

All the air has been sucked out of the room. My lungs feel tight. I dig my nails into my palms, trying to stay in control of my breathing. “Mel—”

“He’s certainly not about to divorce Dena and settle down with The Little Mermaid.” Mel laughs viciously, gesturing to me. It takes me a second to realize she’s talking about my hair, and I shrink down, all the words I want to say dying on my tongue.

“Mel, just leave it,” Dena says, but Mel ignores her as she closes the gap between us.

“You’ll be gone soon and Luke will forget all about you.”

She points a finger, jabbing me hard in the chest. I stumble backwards into the corner and lose my balance, grabbing the wall to steady myself. Suddenly, I’m back in high school being cornered in the bathroom as the walls close in. My vision blurs and the room swims around me. I trip over my feet, turning down the corridor blindly, all sense of direction gone.

Oh God. This can’t be happening.

I’m vaguely aware of Mel and Dena leaving, but I can’t move. My chest feels like it’s being crushed and I can’t breathe—I try to suck in air but I can’t. I’m drowning.

Not again. No.

Sweat glazes my skin and I gasp—I gasp but I can’t get any air, there’s no air, and I lose my balance, I’m falling—

Strong arms wrap around me and pull me upright. I can hear a voice but I can’t make out the words. I’m gasping for air and shaking—

“Breathe, Harriet, just breathe.”

It’s Luke, I realize through the fog. I try to take a breath but I’m still trembling, still gasping, my hands in fists gripping his shirt as I fight for breath. He strokes my hair, holding me, trying to soothe me.

“Breathe. Just breathe, baby. It’s okay, I’m here, just breathe.”

Somehow, I manage to rasp in the tiniest amount of air as Luke anchors me, keeping me safe in the middle of this raging storm.

“There you go. Just breathe. I’m here, baby.”

I get another breath in, then another, and calm begins to ebb through me as the scattered pieces of myself come back together. I’m still shaking and when I raise a hand to my face, it’s wet with tears.

Luke wipes my cheeks and strokes my hair, and I’m so spent I sag against him as my pulse slows in my veins. He holds me close, and I can hear his heart jackhammering through his shirt.

When I finally feel steady enough to pull back, his face is etched with concern. “Are you okay?”

I nod, loosening my grip in his shirt.

“Was that a panic attack?”

“Yes.” My voice cracks as I stare down at my quivering hands, suddenly feeling more vulnerable than I ever have. I might have shared my awful past with him, but that was on my own terms. I never wanted him to actually see me like this, at my absolute worst. Shame washes through me and another tear slides down my cheek.

But Luke just gathers me into his arms, rubbing gentle circles on my back, holding me tight. “Hey, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” he whispers again. And in that moment, I know without a doubt that he loves me, and that everything will be okay.

* * *

When I get backto the table, I’m still wobbly but I’m okay. Myles is shooting me worried looks, and I can’t look at Mel, but I’m sure she knows she got to me. I missed Alex and Michael’s first dance, and when Dena comes over to our table to ask Luke to dance, I know he has to go along with it. But he spends the entire song having a heated conversation with her, and while I don’t catch any of it, I feel vindicated because I know he’s standing up for me. And I’m more certain than ever that he and I will find a way to make things work. Mel knows nothing.

After their dance, Dena stalks off to the bathroom and Luke comes back over to the table, taking a seat beside me. He leans closer, keeping his voice quiet. “Dena told me what happened in the corridor. I’m sorry. Mel is…” He rubs the back of his neck. “She’s really nasty. I never understood why Mike married her.”

I fiddle with the napkin on the table in front of me, staying quiet.

“Don’t let the muggles get you down,” he says, trying to lighten the mood. But he knows it’s not working, and sighs. “Look, I just have to get through today, okay? I just need this wedding to be over, then…” he trails off, his desperate eyes scanning my face.

Then what?

He turns to look out at the dance floor, so I do too, the question I can’t ask hanging in the air between us. I watch Dena dance with William, laughing and smiling, and my stomach churns. When I glance back at Luke, his gaze is resting on me, his expression tender. He reaches out to tuck a loose tendril of hair behind my ear and I can’t help myself; I soften against his hand, closing my eyes for the briefest second. In that moment, I feel the forcefield again and nothing else matters.

We share a smile then both sit back, turning to watch people dance again.

And that’s when I see Alex. She’s on the dance floor in Michael’s arms, but she’s looking at me. She has the strangest expression on her face and my heart stops in my chest.

She knows.