Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Twenty-One

While Annika and I watched the boys’ game, she took me through positions, rules and plays, and I was understanding more.

“No luck with the roomie?” she asked when there was a timeout.

“None,” I said with a sigh. “Sebastian vetoed the ones he was there to witness, and the others were wrong for other reasons.”

“Has Sebastian suggested himself again?” Annika grinned.

“No,” I said. “I’m not sure he would since our whole friendship fell apart after he did last time.”

“Isn’t Monday the 30th of November?”

“Yes, it is. Thanks for reminding me.” I frowned. “Going home for Thanksgiving kind of threw a wrench in the roommate search. Then adding Sebastian to the mix was probably a bad idea. There was one guy who I thought would have been fine. He even fanboyed all over Sebastian.”

“Sebastian isn’t going to let another guy anywhere near you. You’re not that dense.” Annika raised her hands at a play on the field and turned with an expression of disgust at whatever happened.

“I have no idea what’s going on with us. Sometimes I think I should walk away from him. I keep getting sucked deeper and deeper, and I don’t even know where the bottom is anymore. We’re not in a relationship, but we kind of are,” I admitted. “I’m not blind or dumb. But the fact that he hasn’t brought up our status, and I haven’t mentioned it, must mean that neither one of us wants this connection to solidify, right?”

She shrugged. “I have no idea what any of that means. Sleep with him and see if it sticks.”

“That’s bad advice, Annika. Terrible advice. I can’t get involved with him.”

“You basically told me you’re involved with him. So, you might as well have sex with him to see whether he’s worth your handwringing.”

“I haven’t kissed him, and you think I should jump into bed with him?”

“All right, then kiss him. But do something already. Please. The suspense is killing me.” Annika threw up her hands at another play on the field. “They are playing crappy tonight. Johnny is going to be a beast.”

Strange. I also understood what went wrong that time, even though I’d only been half watching.

“What if we do kiss or have sex or whatever and it ruins our friendship? What if we can’t ever recover from it? What if all he wants is sex and once he’s got it, he stops talking to me?”

“What if the two of you start an amazing relationship?” Annika fired back. “You don’t know unless you put yourself out there.”

“Well, I also need a roommate, so sleeping with him at this point is a doubly bad idea.”

“You’re going to ask him to move in?”

“Maybe?” I winced. “I need someone. We get along really well. If I could guarantee he wouldn’t be bringing home a string of girls, he’d be perfect.”

Annika gave me a look.

“Don’t.” I recognized the glint in her eyes.

“I’m merely suggesting—hear me out—you sleep with him and then he’d have no need to go elsewhere.”

“That logic is not sound.” My mind went to Johnny. I wasn’t convinced he was faithful, and Sebastian’s loyalty to him hadn’t wavered. “I’m going to think about it more.”

“Just what we need—more of the two of you thinking about doing something that’s so obvious to everyone else.”

“Whatever.” I waved her away. “Where are we headed tonight after the game?”

“Gabby’s bar. She couldn’t get the night off and Troy wants to hang out with her. You’re coming?”

I nodded.

“Good. Get super drunk and make a move on Sebastian. Ask him to move in with you or sleep with him. I’m okay with either.”

“Thanks, Coach,” I said.

“No problem. My wealth of excellent advice is free.”

* * *

At the bar, I did another shot and glanced at Sebastian out of the corner of my eye. He’d made a point of speaking to me first and even tried to convince me to socialize with him. Now, he was talking to anyone and everyone. His outgoing personality was truly awe-inspiring. I should have gone with him. Jealousy was eating at me every time I saw him chatting to any girl.

The game had been the worst of their season, but they’d managed to squeak out a win in the dying seconds. People were fawning over the football players and buying them drinks. The attention wasn’t directed solely at Sebastian, but the plethora of women bothered me.

I signaled Gabriella for another drink. She poured a shot into the same glass and leaned over the bar. “Maybe you should slow down?”

I laughed and shook my head. “Nope. I’m just getting started.”

The bar was busy, but not crowded. Gabriella was sticking around my section, either through coincidence or by design. I wasn’t sure.

“You went out on a date with Theo, didn’t you?” She peered over my shoulder.

“Yes.” I drank my shot. The glass clattered onto the wood, and I motioned for her to refill it. “Why are you asking?”

Her long dark hair fell in two braids on either side of her face. As she leaned over to pour another drink, they both flipped forward. A twinge of envy went through me. I was going to grow my hair until it touched the floor.

“Theo is headed this way. I wasn’t sure how awkward this would be.”

“Pretty freaking awkward if Sebastian sees him talking to me.” I nudged my shot glass at her again when she didn’t fill it.

“You’re on a break,” Gabriella said. “You might need your brain cells to get you out of this mess in a minute.”

Theo’s shoulder bumped mine as he took a seat beside me. “Did you cancel on me because you’re going to be too hung over tomorrow?” His tone was good-natured as he signaled Gabriella for a beer.

I fiddled with the shot glass in front of me, rocking it from side to side. “Uh, no. But that might also happen.” I hoped he didn’t dig deeper into why I wasn’t interested. Either version of the truth—he didn’t set my heart on fire or Sebastian's request to keep my distance—seemed wrong to admit.

“Buy you a drink?” Theo swallowed his beer.

“Better not,” I said. “Also, Gabriella has cut me off.”

“Oh?” He glanced from me to Gabriella. “You don’t seem that drunk.”

“She’s worried you and Sebastian are going to get into a fight over me,” I admitted.

He smiled. “Would you enjoy that?”

I laughed and turned to face him. “No, no, I would not enjoy that. I’m not a girl who gets off on overly masculine displays of…well, whatever that would be. Aggression? Possession? Nothing good, anyway.”

Theo gave me an appraising look. “But you do what Sebastian asks? I’m guessing he told you not to go on a second date with me.”

“Most of the time, I don’t do what anyone suggests. But I value my friendship with him. For some reason, he doesn’t like you much. I trust him. I trust his judgment.” Gabriella must have slipped truth serum into my last shot before she moved on to other customers. She was nowhere in sight.

“Did he tell you why we don’t get along?”

“No.” I frowned.

“Well, sweetheart, let me fill you in. When he first arrived on campus and was marking his territory everywhere, he slept with my ex-girlfriend—the one I was working on getting back.” He chugged his beer and rose from the seat beside me. “Even once he found out, he didn’t stay away from her.”

“I didn’t know.” I met his gaze.

“Not surprised. Why would he tell you the truth? Doesn’t make him look very good.” Theo leaned toward me. “When you’re ready for an honest, decent guy, give me a call.”

Gabriella was at the opposite end of the bar. I wasn’t sure if her abandonment was intentional or a coincidence. I motioned to the bartender closest to me and had three more shots delivered in close succession.

When they were gone, I left my spot to search for Annika. When I couldn’t find her, I took my phone out to find a text from her.

Left—gone to the frat house. Johnny is a beast. Talk soon.

I stared at the message for a minute, wobbling on my feet. Go home or go to the bar and get drunk? The polished wood, and my still warm seat, beckoned me. Gabriella glanced up from filling a customer’s order and gave me a wink. Enough of a sign. I wandered through the small crowd of people, and I snagged a seat in Gabriella’s section. When I looked beside me, Troy was on my right.

“Fancy meeting you here.” I grinned.

“You’re drunk.” Troy took a sip of his own drink before setting it on the wood.

“Nope. But I’m working on it.” I wagged a finger at him.

“Who you going home with tonight? Theo or Sebastian? Or are you going to start on another player?” Troy’s sly smile took the bite out of his words.

I hadn’t seen Gabriella approach, but she slapped his forearm. “That’s mean, Troy, not funny.”

“I think I might be swearing off players. All of them. That means you, too, Troy.” I took the shot Gabriella passed to me.

“Oh really?” Amusement lit up his face. “Why’s that?”

“Theo said he and Sebastian were into sharing women,” I said. “I’m not good at sharing, so it never would have worked out.”

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“This is about Theo’s ex-girlfriend?” Gabriella asked, ignoring Troy’s warning glance. “He was never getting her back. Theo pursuing you is petty. She chased Sebastian from the minute he arrived on campus.”

“And he had no choice but to give in,” I mumbled.

Gabriella laughed. “You’ve met Sebastian? Turn a girl down? Not likely.”

Although her words would normally incite a flinch, I was too drunk to process them. “That’s not a helpful comment.” I glanced over my shoulder to where he was still holding court with a gaggle of girls. “Why aren’t you out there living it up? Soaking up the women and the win and the hoopla?”

He swiveled in his seat to face me. “Have you seen my girl?” He gave Gabriella an appraising glance. “I’d be a fool to screw things up with her. This college fame shit is temporary. She’s so far beyond all this, it’s not even funny.”

I pretended to puke over the bar, and Gabriella laughed.

“Someday, you’ll experience what I’m talking about, and you’ll realize I’m the smartest man alive,” Troy said with a wink.

“Smartest man alive, huh?”

Troy clinked his tumbler with my shot glass. “I’ll drink to that.” He tossed the last of the liquid into his mouth.

“Hell, at this point, I’ll drink to anything.” I downed mine.

“Where’d Annika go?” Gabriella scanned the bar after taking a few other orders. The crowd was thinning.

“Went to the house with Johnny-boy. Man, that guy.” I observed Troy out of the corner of my eye. “He’s probably your ace-boy too or something, but I cannot stand him.”

Troy’s smile was strained. “I have a lot of respect for Johnny on the field.”

Gabriella rolled her eyes. “Johnny is moody. He has a terrible temper. He thinks people are property.”

“Sebastian loves him. I don’t get it.”

Troy shifted in his seat.

Gabriella started tidying the bar for a minute before turning to me. “Johnny is his ticket. Even before Sebastian came here, Johnny was going to get drafted. Now, with how the two of them play off each other on the field, it’s a lock, a certainty. Johnny is his ticket to the big leagues. He’s not going to say anything against him, whether he likes him or not.”

“So he might not like him?” I cocked my head to the side. “’Cause it seems as though he really does like him.” God, I was drunk.

Gabriella shrugged. “Maybe he does.” She took a rag and wiped the bar. “I’m warning you that if he has to choose between you and Johnny, you’re not going to win.” She reached behind her and rang a large cowbell, signaling last call.

The sound reverberated around my skull. A shoulder brushed mine on the left, and I turned to see a fuzzy version of Sebastian. I blinked, trying to figure out if it was him or if I was seeing things.

His hazel eyes were tinged with amusement, which morphed into worry. “Gabby! What the hell? How’d she get so drunk?”

Gabriella’s grin was wicked. “I think she’s got a lot on her mind, Sebastian. Maybe the alcohol will help her get things off her chest.” She winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and hopped off the barstool. I stumbled and fell into Sebastian’s arms. He sucked in a quick breath as if I’d hurt him. But that was impossible. When I stared up into his open, concerned face, I wanted to sink into him.

“You all right?” He looped an arm around my waist, securing me to him.

“I’m drunk.”

“No shit, Nattie.” He chuckled. “What’s got you so upset? I saw you talking to Theo. Did he say something to you?”

My blurry gaze sought out Gabriella for a second, but then I remembered she hadn’t heard the conversation firsthand. “He said lots of things.”

He grimaced. “Course he did. He’s always running his mouth.” Sebastian looked around the bar. “You wanna get outta here?”

I wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and pretend I didn’t care about Sebastian Swan. Standing this close to him, breathing in his cologne and beer mixture made me long to do things that had nothing to do with sleep.

“Take me home.”

Which part of me would win tonight? Sleep or desire?