Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sobbing penetrated my dream, and I snapped awake. In bed, I lay for a minute getting my bearings. The room spun when I propped myself onto my elbows. Was someone crying? Where? I checked the clock. Three-thirty in the morning.

When I turned toward the door, Sebastian’s wide shoulders took up most of the mattress. His bed sharing needed work. I sighed and collapsed into the covers, forgetting the noise I heard.

Images from the night before flashed across my eyelids. I’d almost had sex with him. I groaned. What were we thinking?

Dishes clattering in the kitchen drifted toward me, and I sat up again. Had someone broken into the house? I crawled out of bed and eased open my door. My gaze strayed to Sebastian. If it was an intruder, I’d yell, and he’d come running. No need to wake him.

Had we locked the door?

I crept along the hallway, drunken ears on full alert. At the end of the hall where it met the edge of the kitchen, I peered around. Annika sat at the table, collapsed over her arms. Her chest rose and fell in great wracking sobs.

“Annika?” I touched her shoulder. “Hey, hey, what’s going on?”

She turned and wrapped her arms around my middle. “Johnny threw me out.”

“What?” I asked. “Why?”

“We’re done. We’re over.” Her sobs and my fuzzy brain made it hard to figure out what she meant.

I hauled her out of the kitchen and over to the couch, dragging her into a seat beside me. “What happened?”

She grabbed a wad of tissues off the coffee table. She was crying so hard I was afraid she would hyperventilate.

“It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me.” I wrapped her in a hug.

“I—I couldn’t t—take it, Nat. I couldn’t take it.” Her sobbing subsided enough for me to understand her better.

“What? What was going on?” My heart dipped and then began to race. I checked her for marks or bruises or any evidence he’d gotten rough.

“He’s been cheating on me since we started seeing each other.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I mean, at first I knew, right? I expected it.” Annika’s big brown eyes met mine. “I thought I was okay with it.” She stared at the tissues in her fists, clenching them and releasing them. “Once he told me he didn’t want to be with anyone else, I—I started seeing him differently. I didn’t want him to be with anyone else either. Just me.”

I rubbed her back in slow circles. “Okay,” I said. “So how do you know he’s been cheating?”

She swallowed, and fresh tears overwhelmed her voice. “A girl turned up at the frat house at two in the morning. Drunk, so drunk.” She gulped a sob. “She got into a fight with Johnny in the doorway. I heard the whole thing.”

“What did Johnny say?” I pictured the sordid scene.

She sniffed and let out a bitter laugh. “He said the conversation was in my head. He wasn’t cheating. The girl was drunk, and I was an idiot if I believed her. She just wanted what I had.” A few stray tears slid down her cheeks, but she seemed to be holding herself together better. “I asked to see his phone.”

I slouched into the couch. Her request wouldn’t have gone over well. “And?”

“He refused. Threw a fit. Packed my things into bags in a rage. He said if I didn’t trust him, I could get the fuck out and stop wasting his time.” She choked on another sob. “He said there were plenty of girls willing to take my place.”

I winced. “Oh, Annika.” I enveloped her in a tight hug. “It’s his loss. His loss.” I smoothed her dark hair and drew away to make eye contact. “You deserve so much better.”

Annika nodded, and her gaze slid from mine. The tissues clutched in her hand were in pieces. “He threw my stuff out the window and then he dragged me down the stairs, out the front door, and locked it behind me. I pounded on the entrance to get my coat, but he refused to open it. I left my stuff and walked here.” She glanced behind her toward our door. “I didn’t have any keys, so I hoped the spare key would be there. But then, it wasn’t locked.”

Heat crept up my neck and into my face. “I didn’t lock it?”

She shook her head. “Probably not very safe. Too drunk?” A hint of a grin flashed across her face.

“Ah, something like that,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about me. You’re going to stay here? We’ll get your stuff in the morning, okay? I don’t think you should go alone.”

A blank expression coated her face. “What am I going to do, Nat? What am I going to do?”

I hugged her tight again. “We’ll figure everything out in the morning when we’re both sober and full of good ideas.”

“We were moving in together.” She stood and paced in front of me. “I have nowhere to live.”

“I don’t have a roommate yet. You can live here. It’s okay, honestly. It’ll be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.” I wasn’t sober enough to provide any advice. With a gentle hand on her arm, I guided her to her room, and we stood on the threshold.

“I don’t want to be alone. Can you come lie with me? Just till I fall asleep?” Annika asked.

I pursed my lips and checked my own door. Sebastian was in my bed. Not returning to him was ludicrous. When I focused on Annika, her anguish was clear. There was no choice.

“Sure.” I squeezed her to my side. “Whatever you need.”

The coolness of her covers sent a chill through me. I curled onto my side, determined to outlast her so I could go back to my own bed.

My bed wasn’t what I missed.

The last thing I remembered before my eyes grew too heavy was Annika saying, “You’re such a good friend, Natalie. I’m lucky.”

* * *

My lids were sticky when I tried to open them. My pounding head elicited a groan that rose from my toes. Alcohol was the devil. When I forced myself awake, I frowned at the ceiling. This wasn’t my room.

Easing to my side, Annika’s sleeping form lay beside me. All the events from the night before returned in a rush. I moaned and threw an arm over my face.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

The clock on Annika’s bedside table said eleven in the morning. Gingerly, I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. For a moment, I collected myself. I couldn’t remember how Sebastian and I had left things the night before. My best recollections were of my conversation with Annika.

Well, that wasn’t completely true. With my eyes closed, flashes of Sebastian hovering over me, lighting me on fire, seared my eyelids. I rubbed my face, wishing I had aspirin and water on my bedside table like normal.

Carefully, I rose from the edge of the bed and pressed my palm to the wall as I navigated around the bed. Dread knotted my stomach at the idea of seeing Sebastian. What had I said?

Leaving Annika’s room, I peered along the hall, not sure if Sebastian would be up yet or still sleeping. My bedroom was open, so I went there first. At the doorway, I took in the made bed and lack of Sebastian.

With a frown, I turned around and wandered to the kitchen, half expecting to find him making eggs as Johnny had done the one morning. But there was no trace of him. On the kitchen table was a piece of paper, small and insignificant.

I snatched it up, scanning it.

Nattie,

Not sure where you went.

Can’t find my phone.

Sorry about last night.

Sebastian

Sorry about last night? Oh, God. What did that mean?

I massaged my fingers into my forehead, wishing I’d woken up less hung over. With the note, I stumbled into my room, relieved to see the water and aspirin beside the table. At least I had enough sense to prepare the hangover essentials.

Crawling into bed, I willed myself to sleep. Just as I drifted into blissful darkness, a faint buzzing noise penetrated my half-asleep brain. I snatched my phone off the nightstand, opening an eye. Weird. Whatever vibrated wasn’t mine.

I rolled off the bed and listened for the buzz. Under the bed frame, much farther than I would have thought probable, was a phone. I searched the room for something to prod or sweep it into my grasp. Finally, I located an old wire coat hanger I’d used once to unclog the vacuum, and I swept Sebastian’s phone to the end of the bed. I scrambled over on my hands and knees as the voicemail notification lit up the screen.

His phone was flooded with messages.

I clicked the phone closed so the home screen darkened.

With his phone cradled, my morals were at war with my curiosity. Who was I kidding? I pressed the home button and waited another beat for my conscience to kick in. Maybe I was still drunk too. With a deep breath, I scrolled through the notifications.

Annika knocked on my doorframe, announcing her presence. I jumped and then flushed.

She cocked her head, examining me. “Did you get a new phone?” Her gaze landed on my hand.

“Uh—” I was so busted.

She narrowed her eyes and then they widened as she put the pieces together. “Oh, my God. You had someone here last night. Oh, my God! That’s why you didn’t lock the door. You were too busy.”

My cheeks burst into flames so hot that spontaneous combustion felt possible. “Sebastian,” I squeaked out, holding up his phone.

“Did you sleep with him? Why do you have that? I have so many questions.” Annika dropped to the floor beside me and crossed her legs.

Her face was puffy from crying, but her insatiable curiosity was familiar, almost welcome. Given her blowup with Johnny, a part of me had worried Sebastian might be a no-fly zone.

“We did not have sex.” I clarified, staring at the dark screen. So many notifications. “Honestly, I don’t remember much else other than we didn’t have sex. He turned me down, I think?”

“What?” Annika asked. “Why?”

“I can’t remember, exactly.” I grabbed his note off my dresser and threw it at her. “Then, he left me this.”

Annika scanned the note, frowning. She tapped it against her palm, thoughtful. “I’m sorry? Who writes that?”

“Why is he sorry? Sorry he didn’t sleep with me? Sorry we made out? Sorry he’s a man-whore? Sorry I’m not his type? Bad enough he didn’t stay, but to leave that in his place?” The hangover band played a tune in my brain, and I pressed my palm to my temple.

Annika set the note on the end of the bed. “What are you going to do?”

I examined her sweats, streaky makeup, and broken heart. “Today, I’m going to hang out with you and forget about Sebastian. I should return his phone.” I bounced it in my palm.

“Did you look at it?” Annika reached for it.

I chuckled. “I was going to, but then you came in.”

“Here, I’ll look. Then you’re not violating his trust. Both of us don’t need to get screwed by football players who can’t keep their dick in their pants.” Her voice brimmed with anger.

I passed her the phone. This was still a violation of his trust, but at least I wasn’t the person invading his privacy.

“Do you know his password?” She flicked through the list of notifications.

“No. I couldn’t even guess.” With a deep breath, I said, “I shouldn’t be spying.”

“Julia texted him last night for a booty call.” Annika didn’t bother to sugarcoat the claim. Her voice was flat and unsurprised.

“Julia-Julia? The one we know?” I snatched the device from her. Hard to be sure from the text. Only the name Julia was visible. I rubbed my face and tossed his phone to the floor. It slid farther than I would have expected. Must have been how it ended up under the bed.

“Take it from me, Nat. I thought I could handle it and I couldn’t. Him and his player ways will wreck you.” Annika stood in a fluid motion.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Her closed-off expression told me she was keeping a tight rein on her emotions. Only the worst feelings needed that sort of control.

“I want to get my shit from his place and forget I ever met him.” She stood in the doorway with her back to me. “I have to coach at two. Are you okay to go with me?”

“Whatever you’re doing today, I’m doing.” My aspirin needed to kick in and quiet the riot in my head.

“My stuff from the frat house, coach the practice, trip to the mall,” Annika listed over her shoulder as she headed down the hall. “Ready in thirty, okay?”

“Sure,” I called after her, surprised she was functioning so well this morning.

Sebastian’s phone taunted me from its spot on the floor. Anything I found on there wouldn’t make me feel better. Probably worse, much worse. He hadn’t made me any promises. Had never claimed to be a one-woman man. My heart hadn’t quite gotten the memo.