Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Twenty-Two

He kept me tucked into his side as we walked to my house. I had trouble walking in a straight line, but he didn’t seem to mind. Every once in a while, he laughed when I stumbled.

“Man, Nattie. What’d he say?” he asked. “You got this drunk because of Theo?”

I shook my head. Cotton balls were forming in my mouth. I needed water, aspirin, and a long sleep. “I got this drunk because of you and Annika.”

“Me and Annika?” Sebastian’s surprise took my comment in a direction I didn’t intend.

“Not like that.” A drunken laugh escaped, and I whacked him in the chest. “Not like that.” I stumbled. I couldn’t shake my head, or the wobbles worsened.

“Like what, then?” He squeezed my hip.

I stopped walking so suddenly he carried on without me for a step or two before realizing I wasn’t continuing.

“I’m pissed off at Annika for letting Johnny turn her into a girl I don’t recognize.” My words slurred together, and I took a deep breath. “I’m pissed off at you for sleeping with Theo’s ex-girlfriend and not telling me that’s why you two don’t get along.” I pointed my finger at him.

Sebastian ran his hand across the top of his head and squeezed his neck. “I can’t do much about the Annika thing. So, I’m gonna ignore that.”

“Typical guy.”

He chuckled and held up his hands. “All right, feisty Nattie is in the house.”

“What about the second part?” Crossing my arms, I swayed and cursed myself. Would I remember this conversation? Didn’t matter. We needed to have it.

“You never asked me why we didn’t get along. If you asked, I would’ve told you. I wasn’t trying to hide anything.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“Okay, maybe I was lightly concealing it.” He gave me a small smile before his expression turned serious. “I don’t want to admit that shit to you, Nattie. It makes me feel like a bad person. Yeah, I did it. She gave me a sob story about how Theo was this terrible cheating asshole. But honestly, I probably would have slept with her, anyway.”

I pushed past him and weaved across the pavement, keeping my head down.

“I didn’t know you then.”

He let me walk away for a few steps, and then I heard his footfalls behind me. I’d memorized the sound of his feet. I was pathetic.

He got in front of me and stood in my path. “I wouldn’t do that now,” Sebastian said. “Doesn’t that count for something?”

“What do you want it to count for?” Anger and curiosity warred within me.

“I want you to see me as more than this jock football player who used to sleep around.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked anywhere but at me.

My brain darted between each of his claims. Finally, I settled on the truth that mattered the most in my drunken haze. “Used to sleep around?”

He took a step closer. “I’ve barely looked at another girl, let alone touched anyone since I met you.”

I tapped the side of my head. “There are photographic memories that say otherwise.”

He brushed my hair off my face, tucking the strands behind my ear. “I was confused and upset. I’ll regret that night until the day I die.” He gazed down at me, his expression brimming with sincerity.

I met his gaze, but I didn’t know what to say. That night fractured something, made me question everything I’d been starting to feel.

“I hurt you.” He leaned down so his forehead almost touched mine.

“Yeah, you did.”

Silence settled between us while I digested his words. He smoothed my flyaway hair and kissed my forehead.

“Theo is everything you said you didn’t want. Watching you kiss him, leave with him. You took a knife to my heart.” Sebastian sighed. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t care what I did.”

“Caring about you has never been the problem.” Alcohol had been my solution earlier to my mixed-up feelings, but now I wanted to be sober to be sure I’d remember this conversation.

“Nattie,” he whispered.

We were so close the tiniest movement from me would encourage him. I licked my lips, flicking my gaze from his eyes to his full lips. God, I wanted him to kiss me.

He groaned and secured his hand behind my neck, tilting my chin with his thumb, and he swooped down, capturing my mouth. He moved his mouth across mine, and my heart exploded, pounding out an irregular tune, part joy, part panic. I met him hungrily, dragging him deeper. We were lost in each other, each kiss becoming more desperate and uncontrolled. I’d jumped out of the plane, and I was free-falling with no parachute in sight.

I was so engrossed in him I didn’t notice when he started to walk backward toward my house. Teasing me with kisses, not leaving enough space for either of us to rethink or reconsider what we were doing.

When we reached my door, I fished out my key. Out of the corner of my eye, the parking lot outside my townhouse came into view. Sebastian and the girl with the long dark hair flashed in front of me.

I unlocked the house, but my heart ached, and I couldn’t get any words out. He shut the door behind him and reached for me, but I sidestepped him.

“I’m drunk and tired.” I shrugged him off to set my keys and clutch on the table before wandering toward the kitchen. Water, aspirin, and bed. I did not need to have drunken sex with a guy who would ruin me.

“Nattie.” His tone was a gentle plea.

“What are we doing, Sebastian?” I shoved my arms out in a wide arc. “I mean, honestly, are we ever going to be a thing? You and me?”

“What makes you think we’re not already a thing?” He followed me.

I leaned against the kitchen counter and scanned his familiar face, his broad shoulders, his hands that did amazing things on the field, possibly amazing things elsewhere. When our gazes connected, my cheeks flushed.

“I can’t date a womanizing football player, no matter how much I like him.” I crossed my arms. “And I want a certain womanizing football player too much to simply sleep with him. I can’t.”

He moved closer and reached out a tentative hand, as though I was a wild animal he’d caught and was attempting to tame. “What if this womanizing football player wanted to change his womanizing ways?”

A wisp of a smile touched my lips. “Is that even possible?” I gave him a skeptical glance. As I played it cool on the outside, my insides lit on fire at the possibility. I wanted to grab him, drag him to me, and never let go.

“You don’t think it’s worth trying?” He straddled my feet.

“Just you and me? No one else?” I searched his hazel eyes.

“Just you and me. No one else.” His words expanded across the room, filling up what little space separated us. “I’m worried you’re not gonna remember this tomorrow.” He trailed his palm down my arm.

A shiver of pleasure ran through me. “I might not,” I admitted, and I tugged on his shirt. When I drew him closer, I raised my face to his for another kiss.

He leaned into the offer, wrapping his hands around my waist. He lifted me onto the counter and giddiness raced through me. Kissing him made everything in me yearn for more. Making out with him was the best-worst idea I’d ever had while drunk.

Sebastian slid his palms under my ass, and he carried me back to my room. With my legs wrapped around his waist, we hardly broke the kiss. He laid me on the bed and covered my body with his, leaving kisses wherever his lips connected. Every inch of me was burning, and his mouth fanned the flames more. When he caressed and nipped at my neck, a trail of fire sprinted to my core. God, I wanted him.

I flicked his belt buckle with my fingers, tugging on the leather. He covered my hand with his, groaning.

“Nattie.” My name was a plea. “Nattie,” he said when I became more insistent, urging him closer. “Natalie.” He gave my ear a gentle nip.

Another shiver ran through me, but his voice penetrated my drunken rush. His face, all the planes and angles so dear to me, were fuzzy. “You don’t want to do this? I thought sex was the point?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Trust me. I want to do this.” He swallowed. “God, do I want to do this.” He gazed beyond me to the other side of the room. “But if you wake up tomorrow and you don’t remember this, it’s gonna wreck me. It’d be even worse if you wake up tomorrow and regret being with me.”

I released him to crash onto the bed. With my forearm, I covered my eyes. “I think I should be insulted. You sleep with anyone.”

Sebastian laughed and collapsed beside me. “I insist my women are sober enough to be sure.”

I gave him a sideways glance. “Always?”

He chuckled. “You never take anything at face value.” Propping onto his elbow, he stared at me. “It’s important to me that you know what you’re doing.”

“Probably sober Natalie will thank you,” I admitted.

“What about drunk Natalie?” He traced me with his gaze.

“Drunk Natalie kind of hates you right now.”

He laughed and scooped me up, placing my head on the pillow. “Aspirin, water—anything else?” He crawled out of the bed and headed for the door.

“No, that sounds perfect.” I turned onto my side to watch him leave. “Sebastian?” I called just before he disappeared out the door.

“Yeah, Nattie?” He paused in the doorway.

“Are you sure about this? You and me? Sober Natalie is going to be a buzzkill.”

He smiled. “What about drunk Natalie?”

“She’s fully on board. It’s weird.”

He grinned and rapped the wooden doorframe with his knuckles. “Sober or drunk, Sebastian’s response would always be the same to you. I’m sure. One hundred percent.”

I sighed. “That’s disappointing. I was hoping for one hundred and ten percent.”

He laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll be right back.”

With a yawn, I tried to force my eyelids to stay open even as they grew heavy.

Sober Natalie was going to want to murder drunk Natalie in the morning.