Perfect Secret by Molly McLain
Chapter 16
HOLDEN
Ihaven’t planned a date like this in… well, forever. Not that I haven’t dated plenty of women over the years, but because I haven’t wanted to impress one as much as I do Alana.
Obviously, I like her, but there’s an urgency to this thing between us, too. The clock is ticking and I want to make our time together as memorable as possible. I want to be a guy she never forgets. Or more accurately—the guy she doesn’t want to forget.
After a secret exchange with Hallie and a few stops around town, I get everything situated in my truck and then head upstairs to pick up my girl.
I rub my sweaty palms against my jeans and take a couple of deep breaths before raising my hand to knock. But the door opens before I get a chance and the composure I’d just tried to collect flies out the window.
“Holy shit,” I stammer, and Alana simply smiles before turning in a full circle before me. She’s wearing a white dress with tiny pink flowers and enough cleavage to make my mouth water. The dress lifts from her thighs as she spins and it’s a damn good thing we’re going to be alone, because I’m not about to share all of this skin with anyone else.
“Another dress I found in my closet with the tags still attached,” she says with a sigh, and I gulp.
“You got any more hidden away? Because I’ll gladly plan a date for every single one of them if it means you’ll wear them for me.”
She giggles and rolls her eyes, but I’m dead fucking serious. Not only has this girl deprived herself of having fun for far too long, but the idea of her sharing this side of herself with anyone else pisses me off. I want all of it. All of her. For me and only me.
“Do I need anything else?” she asks, draping her purse over her shoulder. “A sweater maybe?”
I shake my head. “Nope. You don’t need a thing.”
She narrows her eyes, a curious smile on her face as we head for the stairs. “It’s killing me, you know. Not having a clue what we’re doing.”
I give a short laugh. “That was part of the plan, babe.”
“To torment me?”
“To help you relax. Loosen up a bit. Let other people take control for a while, so you don’t have to.”
She pauses at the front of my truck and blinks those copper eyes up at me, as if just realizing what I figured out the first night we met.
“You can let go with me, darlin’. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Her brow lifts ever so slightly, but the emotion in her eyes—the hope—is clear. She wants to trust me. Maybe already does. And it’s not something she’s used to feeling.
As angry as it makes me that some asshole would hurt her so badly that she’d close herself off the way she has, a sick and twisted part of me is glad it happened, because I want to be the guy she takes a chance on again. The one she opens up to and lets in where every other guy has failed.
ALANA
“Okay, you can come out now.” Holden opens the passenger door with a wide grin. He’s dressed in my favorite black T-shirt and a backward ball cap, and he’s apparently decided to try out a beard, because his stubble is thicker than normal and trimmed up nice and neat, as well.
“I like what you’re doing here.” I reach out and run my fingers along the light brown hair before letting them glide down his neck and to his chest. “I like all of it actually. A lot.”
A low laugh rumbles in his throat before he reaches in and physically lifts me from the seat. “You keep touching me like that and this date is gonna take an obscene turn.”
I giggle, loving that he doesn’t put me down right away. Instead, he leans in and kisses me slow and deep until my head begins to spin.
“Wow,” I sigh against his lips when we finally break apart, both of us breathing a little heavier. “You’ve definitely upped your game tonight, cowboy.”
He chuckles and carefully lowers me to the grass. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, darlin’. Come on.”
Taking my hand, he leads me toward the old covered bridge that leads people in and out of Mason Creek. It’s a gorgeous structure, easily the most historic landmark in town and preserved to its original deep red color.
Aiden and I used to ride our bikes into town when we were kids so we could fish off of the bank, and Madelyn and I loved to climb up beneath the ends of the bridge and hide out when we wanted to get away from our brothers.
Holden leads me toward one of those banks near one of those ends, and I gasp as soon as I see what he’s done.
The white twinkling lights are draped around a couple of the bridge’s beams, and there’s a blanket with a half dozen pillows spread out beneath them. There’s also a picnic basket and a bouquet of wildflowers, and the soft, romantic chords of an old Keith Whitley song hang softly in the air.
“Holden…” I stop short, my hand to my chest, as I take it all in. “Where did you… how did you…”
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and presses a kiss to my temple. “Do you like it?”
“I love it,” I whisper, trying my best not to cry, because in all of my twenty-five years, no one has ever done anything like this for me.
“I thought you might. Come and sit.”
In a matter of minutes, we’re both situated on the blanket, a glass of wine in my hand and a bottle of Coors in his. The warm evening breeze carries the fresh, comforting scent of the creek, but Holden’s presence and sexy, citrusy aroma are far more intoxicating.
“I can’t believe you did this.” I turn to him, still in awe.
One corner of his mouth lifts in a smirk. “Because you didn’t think I was capable?”
I shake my head. “I’ve already figured out that you’re the kind of guy who will always rise to the challenge.”
“Damn right I will.” He leans back on one hand and takes a pull from his beer. “So, am I to assume you’ve never been on a picnic here or that no one’s ever planned a romantic date for you before?”
Damn, he’s good.
“Both are true,” I admit with ease he’s hugely responsible for. “I’m kind of glad for that right now.”
He glances my way, one brow arched. “Yeah?”
“Experiencing both with you is pretty nice.”
He gives a slow, pleased smile. “You starting to get sweet on me, darlin’?”
I roll my eyes even as I blush. “Do you have a birthday coming up? I’m buying a leash for that ego of yours.”
Laughing, he sits up again and leans in for a kiss. “My birthday is in November, but let’s be honest—we both know you like my ego.”
“Ugh.” I push him away and he only laughs harder.
“Don’t get hangry, babe. I brought plenty of food.”
And he isn’t lying. He brought chicken salad, croissants, three kinds of pasta, a cheese and olive assortment, blondies, and the lightest, creamiest lemon cake I’ve ever had.
“This is to die for.” I close my eyes and moan around my fork.
“It came highly recommended from Joy at The Sweet Spot. She said you weren’t a big fan of chocolate.”
“You told her it was for me?” A warm wave of those silly butterflies whirls in my stomach again as he nods. “Who’s sweet on who, cowboy?”
He chuckles and sets his empty plate to the side. “Unlike you, I have no problem admitting it.”
“Unlike me?” I shove at his denim-covered thigh. “You think I’d wear this dress for just anyone?”
His dark, satisfied gaze locks on mine. “Keep talking, darlin’.”
“You’re also the only one I let use my shower, drink my coffee, lounge on my couch, and sleep in my bed.”
He dips his chin. “That’s what I like to hear.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“And you’re mine.”
My mouth falls open in a silent gasp.
“I know we started this thing to show the other guys in town that you’re on the market again, but I’m not a fan of that idea anymore.”
“Oh.” I’m not sure I was ever a fan, but that’s beside the point. Is he saying what I think he’s saying?
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with my other job or where I’m even going to be in a few weeks, but I do know that I want us to keep seeing each other. Some way, somehow.”
My heart rises like it’s being carried off by those darn butterflies that have taken up residence inside of me. “I-I think I’d like that.”
Relief washes over his handsome face and he reaches up and strokes his thumb along my jaw. “I know it’s only been a short time, but I can’t help but feel like maybe us meeting like this was supposed to happen.”
I nod, because I’ve thought the same. I just tried not to give it much attention in case he didn’t feel the same.
“I really like you,” I whisper, lifting shaky fingers to his chest. “But I’m also terrified. My past experience—”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Alana,” he says softly, leaning in to press his lips to mine. “At least not if I can help it.”
And I believe him.
I believe this man that came out of nowhere and turned my life upside down. Or maybe he turned it upside right. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter, because what I do know is that nothing has felt as right in a very long time.
We pack up the food and lie back on the blanket and the pillows, talking about everything and nothing until the stars come out and the occasional traffic passing over the bridge goes quiet.
“Holden?” I ask, the one subject we haven’t touched on refusing to be ignored in the back of my mind.
“Yeah, babe?” With his arm wrapped around my shoulders, he kisses the top of my head.
“Aiden wanted you to tell me something and I told you it didn’t matter. I want you to know that it truly doesn’t. Not to me anyway. But if it’s something you want me to know or something you need to talk about, I’m here.”
He goes still beside me and I hold my breath. We’ve kept our relationship light until now, but if we’re going to see how far we can take this, we need to be open with each other, too. More, I want him to know that he doesn’t need to hold back with me. Ever.
I turn to face him, my cheek resting on his bicep as our eyes meet. “I want to know everything about you,” I say softly. “If we’re going to keep seeing each other—”
“I’m a bull rider,” he confesses and my exhale feels like it goes on forever.
“I know,” I admit, too. “Or rather, I guessed.”
“Really?”
I nod. “It’s the only thing I could think of that Aiden would be so insistent I know.”
“Your ex, huh?”
“Yeah.”
His fingers glide behind my ear with a strand of hair and I sigh. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. It was a long time ago and he doesn’t matter anymore. But you…” I press my palm to his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath it. “You do matter. So if you want to tell me, I’m happy to listen.”
His eyes dart back and forth between mine for a long beat before he pulls in a breath and exhales the truth, “I’m pro and the boss I mentioned is the ABR.”
Shit. I mean, the possibility had crossed my mind, but to hear him confirm it…
“I was accused of the assault after a ride in Tulsa and cleared just like I told you. Instead of supporting me, the ABR decided I needed a hiatus. They said it was to protect me from the media and to let the story die off, but it couldn’t be any more obvious that they’re only trying to protect themselves.”
“That’s awful, Holden. I’m so sorry.”
He swallows. “Me, too. I’m sorry I gave so much of myself to them. That I put my body through so much shit just to give them a show. Don’t get me wrong—I’ve wanted to ride pro since I was a kid—but it wasn’t just the titles I was after. I wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. The rodeo family. The brotherhood…”
His face contorts with a flash of emotion that’s gone just as quickly as it came, and my heart aches for him. Our situations are different but similar. I know how it feels to work so hard and think your life is headed in one direction, only to have someone else yank the reins and stop it all.
“I’m not sure I even want to go back anymore,” he says quietly. The sadness in his voice is as clear as the moon rising in the sky, but so is the conviction. “If anyone is going to decide my future, it’s going to be me.”
“What will you do if you don’t go back?” I ask, stroking his eyebrow with my thumb.
“Would you think I was crazy if I said I wanted to do some more ranching?”
“At Wilder’s?” My silly heart swells at the thought of him sticking around, but I tamp it down, not wanting to get my hopes up.
“Not sure. I’d like to have my own place someday, but that’s a hell of an undertaking.”
“I know a little something about that.” I smile and bop his nose with my fingertip. He reaches up and snags my hand.
“What I do for a living doesn’t freak you out?” he asks, his lips lingering against the pulse in my wrist.
“It probably should, but it doesn’t.” I should be concerned about how well he knows Cory, because he undoubtedly does. In fact, I’d be an idiot not to realize the connection between Holden and Aiden—and now Mason Creek—is none other than my bull rider ex-boyfriend.
But I don’t want to know, because I don’t want it to matter. I don’t want it to change anything between us.
“I’m so fucking glad to hear that.” His hand slides around the back of my neck, tugging me close for a kiss. A kiss that’s intentional and precise, all firm lips and coaxing tongue that makes me forget that we’re outside, lying on the bank of the creek, until a vehicle passes over the bridge.
“Oh my god,” I half groan, half laugh. “They can probably see us down here, making out like teenagers.”
Without a word, Holden reaches back, gives a tug, and the twinkle lights go dark. “Problem solved.”
I giggle and bury my face in his chest. “They’ll still see your truck and know we’re here.”
“Then we’d better be quick.”
Before I can ask what he means, he rolls over and braces himself above me, elbows on either side of my head.
“Of course, we could wait until we get home, but what’s the fun in that?” He waggles his eyebrows and then his mouth is on my jaw and my neck and my collarbone. Goose bumps rise on my skin as Kane Brown starts to sing “Like a Rodeo” on Holden’s phone.
“We can’t do this right here,” I say, though my protest is more of a breathless moan than an objection. The arch of my back when his hot, wet tongue sweeps across the swell of my cleavage is even more pathetic.
He chuckles, and in seconds, both of my breasts are freed to the night and his eager mouth. When his lips close around one nipple and then the other, I couldn’t argue if I wanted to.
“Love these so fucking much,” he murmurs, before he dives back in again, sucking and teasing me until I’m a mess of lust and longing beneath him.
“I want to touch you,” I rasp, shoving a hand between us so I can palm his erection through his jeans. But it isn’t enough. I need to feel his silky skin against mine, so I work his fly free until I can wrap my hand around him.
He groans and his hips twitch, his cock thrusting into my eager grip. “Thought we couldn’t do this,” he grits out, his jaw clenched.
“We shouldn’t.” But that doesn’t mean we can’t. “Flip over.”
His brow creases, but when I shove at his chest, he gives in.
“Fuuuck.” His hips flex to meet mine when I straddle his lap and rub myself, still covered in panties, over his length. “You’re soaked,” he grunts, his big hands curling around my hips to keep our contact and the friction tight. “Just a shift of that fabric and I could be buried inside you.”
“And no one would see a thing,” I pant, already lifting just enough to do exactly that.
He reaches between us, as well, holding himself steady as I sink down on his length until I can’t take anymore.
It feels like heaven, being full of him like this. The heat from his body radiating into mine, the slow, sensual slide of skin on skin, the way his eyes lock on mine as I move…
“Feels so fucking good,” he grunts, our bodies rocking in unison, chasing that inevitable high together. “Never expected to find this. Never expected to find you…”
All I can do is nod, because the emotion is building as quickly in my chest as my orgasm is low in my belly. “I’m going to come,” I whimper, and with two strokes of Holden’s thumb over my clit, I’m there, biting back my cry as my body clenches around his.
“That’s it, baby, take what you need,” he praises, his hips bucking harder and faster until his head snaps back and he lets go, too.
For several long moments, we do nothing but lie on the blanket beneath the moonlight, catching our breaths while the frogs and crickets chatter.
And then he presses a kiss to my forehead and repeats his words from earlier—you’re mine—and I know it’s true.
This man already owns more than my body… he owns my heart, too.