Grumpalicious by Mia Faye

Chapter 24

CAYDEN

I was excited for Genni. I’d seen several of the artists I’d launched make it, but none so fast as Genni. Granted she did have Taylor’s fame to propel her but Genni was legitimately talented, and Taylor knew it the moment she had heard her sing. Taylor asked for permission to put Angel on her EP, but I needed Genni to break out with her own song. She’d been writing and recording stuff that was good, but she needed something that was good enough to follow up such a groundbreaking hit. I was going to toss some ideas around with her, but the Grammy nomination call and Alex going missing took precedence. I had my chef make us a nice celebratory meal with mimosas on the terrace and Genni was really thrilled, only her worry for my son was still at the top of her mind.

“She hasn’t called yet,” Genni mentioned after she finished her herbed eggs and rosemary polenta.

“I know.” I had to admit, it was worrying me as well.

“Do you think you should call her?” Genni bit her lip the way she did when she was genuinely stressed.

“She said she’d call.”

“So, you calling her won’t help I guess?” Genni looked down at my phone as it rang again.

It had been constantly ringing after word about Genni’s Grammy nomination had spread. As most people didn’t have her number, they used mine. I only gave my private number out to my inner circle, but those were the people calling. She would have to call her friends soon, but I wanted to let her have some time just to sit with her feelings. It was sad that on a day where she should be celebrating with nothing but joy, she was worried about my son; that said a lot about her character.

“Would it make you feel better if I called?” I wanted this day to be about her, but truthfully, the more time that went by without receiving a call, the more upset we both became.

“Maybe we can just hear if anything…” The poor thing bit her lip again.

“Okay.”

So, I called Sarah and she answered right away. “Any word?” I asked, with my heart racing.

“They think they may have found him. The police said they got a tip that a little boy had been hanging around the park and was on the swings all morning. It isn’t our regular place; he must have walked for miles. They are checking out the location now. I’m so worried, Cash.” Sarah was in tears.

“I know, it’s really scary not knowing where he is. Especially in this city. You just have to be brave. He should come home to you and just feel that you’re happy to see him. He’s gonna be pretty fucked up, you know, to feel like running. He’s got a lot he’s processing.” Ugh, I hated deep conversations, especially ones where I was probably part of the problem.

“Wait, the police are calling John now.” I heard talking in the background and a sound of relief coming from a deep male voice.

I assumed it was John, her new husband. I recalled her mentioning being in a relationship with a man named John and so now he was her husband...Well good, she deserved someone better than me. I then looked at Genni sitting there with wide expectant eyes and wondered, didn’t she deserve someone better than me as well? I hated the feelings that question drummed up so I just waited for Sarah to get back on the phone.

“They found him. Oh my God, Cash, they found him,” Sarah sobbed.

“That’s great. That’s great news. Just, you know, tell him you love him,” I choked as I said it.

“He asks about you all the time.” Her voice was small and distant. “I just don’t know what to tell him, so I keep saying, it’s not important. I know that John loves him and will be his father, but Alex keeps asking who his “real” dad is, wondering if I’ll tell him one day. I’m sorry I called you, I just panicked. I hope you understand.” She was backing away from me again.

“No, I do. Yes. I’m glad you called. I want to know…” Fuck, I was bad at this.

“Okay, well. Thanks for taking my call. We’re going to go to the station now.” And that was it. Sarah and I shared an awkward goodbye.

“They found him?” Genni’s eyes were bright and expectant.

“They did. So now you can focus on just enjoying this amazing day.” I kissed her cheek, feeling a flood of relief.

Later that day, Taylor called Genni, and they had a long talk and made plans to get together soon. They still had the benefit concert ahead of them and so they planned for that and Genni had plenty of ideas for songs. She bounced ideas off Taylor, and they talked like they were old friends. I didn’t have to drag content out of Genni, she was a pro.

“Today is all about you,” I told her as soon as she got off of the phone. “What do you want to do?

“I want you to go and see your son. To celebrate my Grammy nomination, I’ll go to the gynecologist this afternoon so that you know I’m team Cash all the way, and I’d like you to go see your son as a show of good faith. If you can brave this one huge thing in your life, I will know that you are worth rescuing.”

Fuck, she was dead serious.

“Genni, this is so much deeper than you can imagine.” I was planning on using every strategy in my playbook to back out of ever meeting my son.

“Why? You plan on being a jerk to your son because your dad was a jerk to you and your mother? How is that deep? That’s just you, continuing the cycle of abuse you resent your father for.”

Fuck. I liked living in denial so much better than facing shit I had no interest in addressing.

“And if I say no?”

“I have no need to go on the pill if I’m not having sex.”

“You’re saying you won’t sleep with me if I don’t meet my son?” I truly could have strangled her at that moment.

“No. I’m saying this whole “fake it ‘til we make it” for six months is over. I’ll miss you, Cayden, but I can’t fall in love or even fall in like with a man I don’t respect. If you can’t reach out to your son, I can’t respect you and frankly, I don’t even know how you live with yourself.”

And there it was.

I had no problem living with myself because in the end, I didn’t care about anyone. I couldn’t. I’d grown up tough. I had such thick skin, I was impenetrable...except Genni got to me. Damn if she wasn’t sharp enough to pierce me.

“Let’s get you to the doctor before he goes home for the day.” I whipped out my phone and dialed the doctor’s number.

“And…”

“I’ll call Sarah and see what she says.”

“Thank you.”

We were able to see Dr. Gannet who discussed birth control options with Genni. I couldn’t be in the room with her because we weren’t a couple long enough for me to be a part of her decision. If it were up to me I would have had her get the depo shot which would give us at least three months of protection, or better an IUD which would have given us years, but she opted for the pill, the most traditional and humanly fallible form of birth control, the very same kind of birth control Sarah got pregnant with Alex on. I couldn’t show Genni that I was disappointed as she’d done what I asked, she’d gotten birth control. In the car on the way over to Sarah’s house, she popped a pill in her mouth and smiled at me.

“You know you have to take those at the same time every day.” I looked down at my watch. Ugh, four o’clock, it would have been so much better if she’d taken it in the morning.

“Yes, but now we’re good for tonight.” The devilish gleam in her eye did erase my irritation some.

Truthfully, I was just nervous. I had called Sarah and she agreed to have me see Alex especially because he’d just come back to their house and they were discussing the reasons why he left. He was in tears and very emotional. We agreed that she’d tell him I was coming over so that I didn’t just show up. I was a wreck inside, but luckily on the outside I was the same cool, emotionless monster, I’d always been. When we arrived, Sarah greeted me at the door.

“Hi, Cash.”

“Hi, Sarah. This is Genevieve Green. I hope you don’t mind if I brought her along. I need moral support,” I joked, but it wasn’t funny.

“Sure. Yes. Hi.” She was awkward but sweet.

“Thank you,” Genni reached out and gave her a hug. “You must have been so worried.”

God, I loved that woman. Well, I loved both women actually, they had the kind of emotional fortitude to handle these situations with strength and resilience.

“God, it’s been hard,” Sarah said and instantly they were friends.

We walked into the living room of her huge Brooklyn apartment. It was brand new, beautifully furnished, and filled with people. I noticed how pregnant Sarah was when she bent down to whisper in Alex’s ear. Her husband, John looked worried as did her parents who I barely recognized as they’d aged. The entire thing was horrible actually. We probably should have set the meeting up better. But Sarah was so emotional having Alex run away, that she was grasping and so was I.

“Hi,” I said quietly. “My name is Cayden, but most people call me Cash.” I started unsure of where to go from there.

“I know who you are,” Alex looked at me with sheer hatred in his eyes.

He was an angry little boy, and it threw me off a little because he not only looked exactly like me, but I could see myself as a boy in him. I had that same bitter expression and tight-jawed silence.

“So,” I sat on the chair next to him. “Do you know why I came?” Fuck, I was drowning already.

“You feel guilty for not giving a shit about me.” Damn, he was exactly me.

“It’s sort of like that. I mean. I care about you, Alex, I always have. I’ve just been too scared to, I don’t know, face you I guess.” Help.

The room was silent, and the moment was so intense and horrible. I was just wishing that someone would offer up cookies or popcorn or a highball of scotch.

“Right, a nine-year-old kid. How scary. Well, fuck you. No one wants me and you’re just trying to make yourself feel better. My mom’s having a baby and when he comes he’ll have parents that want him.” With that, Alex got up off of the couch and Sarah went to run after him but John held her back.

“Remember his therapist said to just give him space and let him come to this on his own.”

He was so reasonable. Damn, I hated that guy. Not for marrying Sarah or for stepping up where I had stepped back, but for being a better person than I could have ever hoped to be. And not only was he a better person, but he was also showing Genni exactly what she really deserved, and it wasn’t a fucker like me.

“You made an effort, it’s a start,” Sarah said. “Thank you.”

“Listen, I um...he needs more than a guy who just swoops in and gives him a name. I, um...I need to be better at this, I guess. Um. Let’s do something when he’s calmed down a little, like at the park, fuck, I mean um, I’m pretty recognizable. Maybe here? I don’t know, is there something he likes? Can I bring something to bribe him? You know, grease the deal a little…”.

“He loves Hampton Green, he's almost obsessed.”

“Great. I’ll get him tickets and backstage passes. I’ll have Ham sign a bunch of stuff for him. He’s a great guy, he’ll do anything. Just, we have to decide how much publicity Alex is going to want. I can keep this all on the DL, but people are going to be curious.”

“Let’s just get him to come out of his room first. The signed stuff would be nice, he’d probably freak out and maybe next week we can all have lunch here. If he sees that you’re going to be a part of this, then he’ll warm up eventually. He’s a good kid, no, he’s a great kid, he’s just really hurting. We found out the baby is going to be a boy and he hasn’t been the same since,” Sarah said with the saddest look of guilt on her face.

“Okay. Genni and I have a thing for Allie’s reality show, we’re going to be in Mexico for a few days, but we’ll schedule something after that.”

The look of surprise on Genni’s face reminded me that I forgot to tell her about the Mexico trip and there I was being a perfect asshole yet again.