Grumpalicious by Mia Faye

Chapter 28

CAYDEN

Anger barely described the feelings that were searing me. How dare that bitch demand that I kiss her and threaten the very tenuous relationship I had with Genni? Oh, she was going to have her share of drama, there was no question. I did my best not to rip her up on our short walk to the beach where we were followed by the production crew with three huge cameras in our faces.

“I’m sorry to pull you away like this, Cayden.”

I hated when people like her called me Cayden. Genni had started calling me by my real name and on her lips, it sounded right. From her, it was a bridge of trust and tenuous steps to come closer, but from Allie, who knew I hated the name because it reminded me of a scrappy unwanted kid, it just made me hate her all the more.

“Then why did you?” I growled.

“Well, I just… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to be in love with Paul. When I kiss him, I just keep pretending that it’s your lips I’m kissing.”

“You’re a good actress,” I said with venom. “Try harder.”

I walked faster, trying to ignore her.

“Cayden you know that this isn’t over, that we aren’t over. Yes, we’ve wronged each other, and I own my part of that, but we, the two of us, we’re everything. Don’t give up on what we’ve invested here.”

Such utter stinking bullshit.

“You know what you are to me, Allison?” I mean if we were going to be using names… “You were a good lay. Maybe one of the best. Your talent in the bedroom can be verified by lots of men. Why did you think I dated you in the first place? You are rock star talent in the bedroom. I look forward to having a beer with Paul and reminiscing about how well you used your…”

“You can’t say that on national television, Cash,” the producer warned me.

I mean the show was racy and it was on a streaming channel with an NC-17 rating, but I guess calling out the vag wasn’t something people in NC-17 TV shows did.

“Mouth,” I said in a venomous whisper, the double entendre tickled me.

“Or yours,” she volleyed back in a lame counter-defense.

“You used your mouth to scandalize our relationship and make money off it. You’ve used your mouth to belittle hard-working people who have laid themselves out to just be trampled by you. You have used that mouth to discolor every beautiful thing we ever had. And you’ve used your mouth to order me here tonight so that you might kiss me on national television and lay a toxic cloud of confusion and speculation over my very real relationship with Genni.” Then it dawned on me, what I had with Genni really was real, more real than anything I’d ever had before.

“Oh, you are poetic. Do you want to talk about the trail of unwanted children you’ve left behind you? Or should I?”

“Cut,” I turned and looked at the camera. “You can’t do that. It is actually in my contract. You cannot do that!”

“I can’t talk about Alex, but I sure as shit can talk about mine. Or did you not know I had an abortion?”

Everything in me bottomed out.

“The fuck you did, and if you did, it wasn’t mine.” Heat rose up and colored my face.

“You wouldn’t know. You took zero responsibility. It was all on me. I had to be on birth control, I had to get the depo shot, I had to bloat up because of the hormones.”

Fuck.

“If this is true we can’t discuss it on TV. Not only is it completely inappropriate, but it also crosses a line. None of your viewers are going to want real, scary, drama that they themselves might be facing. You are a train wreck, a car chase, and a vampire movie all rolled into one. People watch your show so that they can go to bed at night knowing they are doing just fine, at least they’re not Allie. You may be beautiful, and you may have a fuck ton of money, but what you don’t have is class.” I said this and then turned away from her and started walking up the beach, knowing the cameras were back on.

“What if it had been your baby?” Allie said by way of confession that it wasn’t. “What if I gave it up for adoption?”

“Then it’s better off...getting another chance with a family that might not be as fucked up as yours would be.”

“That’s cold, Cayden, even for you.”

I turned to her. “Did you have an abortion?” I needed the facts.

The film crew turned off the cameras and stood there in the dark with blazing lights trained right on our faces.

Allie was silent for a moment then took a deep breath. “I always wanted to slip up with you. You know.”

“Why? I wouldn’t have stayed.”

“I know.”

I couldn’t believe it but there was a tear streaming down her face.

“Was there really a baby Allie?”

“No. There never was, but...if I had gotten pregnant, I would have kept the baby, because at least I would have still had a part of you.” She turned to me and kissed me softly on the lips and I had to admit I was stunned, but not in a good way.

“Allie, there is a woman in that bungalow who I really love. She is…” I couldn’t even describe her. “She’s not from our world and she doesn’t spin in our circles. She’s...she hasn’t been tarnished by hatred yet and I don’t want her hating me just because I’ve made some shitty choices in my past. I was a dick to you, Allie I admit. We were both monsters...and for that, I am really sorry. Genuinely.”

I turned and walked away, leaving them tons of drama for my last scene.

“Did you get all of it?” I heard her ask one of the producers.

Get all of what? I thought the cameras were down when we talked about Alex. When I looked back, I saw him take off his baseball had and inside was a tiny camera...fuck.

“I sure did.”

Suddenly, the world wobbled. As I walked back to the bungalow I saw Genni standing on the deck. I knew she saw all that went on between Allie and me and frankly I was ready to get on a plane home that night. But I was there to duke it out. I didn’t say anything that was out of character and most of what I said was the absolute truth. I hoped the real things I revealed would end up on the cutting room floor. I walked into the bungalow and Genni didn’t rush to greet me so I went out to her.

“I didn’t kiss her, nor did I make it sound like I would. I wanted to slap her, but that wouldn’t have been good for either of us. She manipulated me into a trap, and I fell for it, so we have two choices. We can eat dinner, which is probably cold,” I looked back at the silver tray covered with silver domes, “and make love, enjoy this bungalow, and come back tomorrow with our dukes up or we can get on a plane tonight, and be back in New York City by tomorrow morning. It’s completely your call, I’ll do whatever you decide.”

She stayed silent, still gazing over the ocean.

“They’ve already got you by the balls. If we run, they win, so tomorrow we’ll put our dukes up. But I have to say I’m a little tired tonight, Cash. Maybe we can just eat and sleep.”

Fuck I hated hurting her.

“As I said, it’s your call.”

So that night we ate and went to bed. I did hold her in my arms as I wanted her to know she was my everything. At that moment, I realized she represented so much more than just some innocent girl I was using to wipe up my reputation; she was truly the best woman, outside of Sarah, I’d ever known. We were two months from our six-month mark, and I wasn’t about to screw it all up.

The next day we went out on a whale-watching boat and Genni was genuinely excited to see whales. I was just doing my best not to get seasick as I had never quite found my sea legs. She, on the other hand, was a pro. We saw some humpback whales and orca and I had to admit that was cool. Allie spent most of the boat ride getting drunk with her tongue down her “boyfriend’s” throat. I held Genni in my arms. One, it made me feel less sick and two, I looked like felt like less of a dick. Two birds with one stone.

When we returned to land and our big dinner, Allie was about to start in again. I had to do a confessional and my conversation with Allie was brought up.

“You know some things are just not meant for television.” No one knew I had a secret kid, but Allie did, and I had realized her plan. She was going to shit all over me and drag that poor sweet boy down no matter how wrong it was. He deserved better. I may have been trying to win the douchiest dad of the year award, but he was a great kid and he deserved more.

“Listen, if Allie was pregnant and had an abortion without telling me, then that’s on her. Men have a right to know when they’ve fathered a child. Forget how that fathering happens. We are all consenting adults; I know the minute I go down into that great unknown what might be waiting for me. If there is a child then the decision about their lives and their future is something I get fifty percent of.” I started to shake but powered through. “Allie knows I have a son. He’s an incredible boy. I don’t deserve him at all and both he and his mom know it, so I’ve stayed away. I left his childhood up to his mother so that I didn’t mess him up. He’s nine now and I’m ready to do my best to give him lots to talk about in therapy. At least I have the money to pay for it. He isn’t a mistake or an accident, he’s a little boy with a bright future. I’m proud of him. I’m happy I steered clear, so he at least got a shot at not turning out like me. I realize though, in doing that I’ve hurt him in a different way. I’m not going to be parading my son on this show or any show, but I am going to say, right here and right now, I am proud that he’s in the world because, now I know, I’ve done at least one single thing in my life right.” And I meant it.

I didn’t know that Genni was in the room, I didn’t know they had brought her in, it wasn’t the custom. Confessionals were supposed to be just the actor and a camera, but this was all about drama, and Genni was brought in to show us together. When I looked over at her she was crying. Fuck, I could do exactly zero things right.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, still sitting in the confessional chair.

“That was so beautiful, Cayden.” She walked over to me and sat next to me, taking my hand. “I hope he gets a chance to hear you say those words, it would mean a lot, I’m sure.” She then tenderly kissed my hand.

“What do you think about Cash having had a relationship that is still so raw?” The producer asked, pumping up the volume, hoping to keep blades drawn.

“Life is raw,” she said. “And real. I can tell you this, Cayden and I are real. This is all new and blossoming, but nothing will kill us, we are both stronger than that. This trip to Mexico has been fun. I’m looking forward to singing later and I saw an orca in the wild and not in a postage-stamp-sized pool at SeaWorld. This has been an incredible day. Allie is a great woman and she will marry a great man one day, but it won’t be Cash, because he’s already taken.” She kissed me again and I held onto the life raft she tossed me out in the sea of deception and lies.

If there was anything that was truly real, it was her heart.