SEAL’s Redemption by Leslie North
11
“Well, you certainly seem a lot happier than the last time I saw you,” Ben McGraw said from the other end of her sofa, elbow-deep in pink sparkly tissue paper. “Thank God for that. I was worried.”
“Thanks. And yeah, I’m feeling pretty happy right now,” Hope said, smiling at her best friend, happy to see him even if he was kind of in bridezilla mode. Ben and his partner were getting married in about a month. She was helping him make party favors for the reception because that’s what friends did when other friends called in a panic. Well, that and she needed a break from her investigation. Logan had gone out on his own to investigate an address she’d found earlier in a public-records search that she hoped might be the C. Parsons they were looking for. Originally, she’d planned to go with him, but then Ben had called and honestly, after last night and this morning, she needed a bit of time away from Logan to sort out her thoughts about everything. Besides, given how the rest of her leads had turned out, she wasn’t expecting much from this one either, so she decided to let Logan go on a wild goose chase without her while Ben came over with a trunk load of supplies.
She was perfectly content to sit here with her feet up and a cup of hot tea, making origami ostriches—or whatever the hell these things were supposed to be. At Ben’s raised brow and curious stare, she said, “What? I’m happy. That’s good, right?”
“Sure.” He finished shoving tissue paper into yet another small sparkling bag then set it aside. From the looks of it, they’d made about a thousand of the things so far, with another thousand to go. According to Ben, they had approximately two hundred guests on the list for the wedding so, of course, they needed a million favors. Ben wasn’t exactly known for his moderation. “But come on, Hopey. I do have to wonder what miraculous thing has happened to cause all this sudden joy.” At her silence, he nudged her foot. “It’s a man, isn’t it?” Heat prickled her cheeks despite her wishes and Ben laughed. “I knew it! Who is it? What’s his name? Is it that cute guy from the bank you were drooling over last month? He’s a hottie, no doubt, but word has it he bats for both teams, just so you know.”
Hope shook her head and set her paper bird aside, next to the enormous flock of other ones on the table. “No, it’s not the bank guy. Anyway, I’m pretty sure he’s a solid hitter exclusively for your side. No, it’s…” She hesitated. They’d known each other for years, and Ben had been the person who’d helped her pick up the pieces after she’d broken up with Logan. He’d made his feelings known about Logan and how he’d acted toward her. Ben wasn’t a fan. To put it mildly. But another thing friends did was be honest with each other, so… “Logan’s been in touch. Actually, he’s staying here and helping me with an investigation for my new book.”
Ben’s smile slowly fell as he stared at her, his expression going from anticipation to anger in about two seconds flat. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Uh, no.” Her cheeks flared hotter. Dammit. When she said it out loud like that, she knew how awful it sounded, but when it was just her and Logan, it wasn’t awful. It was, in fact, pretty darned wonderful. Not that she’d try explaining that to Ben, who didn’t seem inclined to listen. “And don’t look at me like that. It’s just temporary. It’s not like we’re getting back together or anything.”
“I should hope not. He’s not worthy to lick your boots, girl.” Ben set his tissue paper aside and scowled at her. “And why is he staying here? Doesn’t he have his own place? And need I remind you of what happened the last time he left? I wasn’t sure you’d recover. Do you really want to go through that again?”
“No, I don’t.” Okay. She’d made what sounded like a poor choice, and on paper it certainly looked that way, but there was more to it. And dammit, she was an adult. She could do what she wanted. She placed a hand over her belly protectively. “And I’m not going to. Like I said, it’s temporary. No strings attached. No emotions involved.” Well, if you didn’t count the lust they’d both been feeling the previous night. She looked away from Ben’s too-perceptive gaze. “Like I said, he’s helping out on the case. And he’s acting as bodyguard too.” She told him about the attacks. “So, really, he’s saving me a lot of money, since I couldn’t afford to hire a bodyguard, and he’s working for free.”
“Uh-huh.” Ben sounded thoroughly unconvinced. “I mean, that’s great he’s keeping you safe and all, but there are other security specialists in Baltimore. Or the police. They could post an officer outside your house. I just don’t understand why it has to be Logan. If you need to borrow some money to pay for it, Connor and I have savings set aside. I could loan you the money…”
“No. Don’t be silly.” She sipped her cocoa and frowned at the TV flickering mutely across the room. “I don’t need a loan, and there’s more to it than that.”
“Like what?” Ben cocked his head, his expression chock full of snark. “I mean, I remember Logan. He’s hot as hell. Anyone would want to tap that, but seriously. Why was he even at your doctor’s appointment when that car bomb went off? Is he stalking you or something?”
“It’s not that, it’s…” She’d been so worried about miscarriage that the only people she’d told about the baby so far were Logan and her parents, but it seemed wrong to keep it from her best friend. So, she took a deep breath and came out with it. “I’m pregnant. It’s Logan’s.” At Ben’s shocked silence, she added, “And I’m okay with it. In fact, I’m thrilled.”
Ben blinked at her blankly for a second, then he flung himself across the sofa to hug her tight. “Oh. My. God. Girlfriend, I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks!” This was kind of fun, being able to talk to someone about all the baby stuff. Excitement shimmered through her bloodstream. They went over her due date and how she was feeling and even possible names, depending on if it was a girl or boy. Finally, Hope got up to show him the guest room she planned to use as a nursery, since Ben offered to help her decorate it. Normally, gay cliches ticked him off, but he really was good at design. “It’s not very big,” she said as she opened the door and flicked on the lights without looking, “but it’s big enough for a baby, I think.”
Then she turned to look into the room with Ben and spotted Logan’s neatly stacked things in the corner. Whether it was pregnancy hormones or something else, a sudden sense of loss hit her like a mountain of bricks. Logan was here now, but he’d be going back to his SEAL team soon, and she’d be left to raise the baby alone. It just now struck her what that meant to be a single parent. Day in, day out, all the ordinary things, the trials and troubles and triumphs and losses, she’d have to handle it all on her own. He wouldn’t be there. When she’d been younger, Hope had always pictured having kids, she’d just always thought she’d be married when it happened.
Ben must have noticed her change in mood because he put his arm around her and pulled her into another hug. “Hey, Hopey, it’ll be okay. I promise. Don’t worry about a thing. You won’t be doing this on your own at all. Connor and I will be here for you, whatever you need. Just let me know, and I’m on it, all right?”
She nodded, holding on to him longer and tighter than necessary, squeezing her eyes shut so she wouldn’t cry. She could do this. She would do this. She didn’t need Logan. She had wonderful friends and family who’d be there for her no matter what, which was more than she could say for Logan.
Heart aching, she followed Ben back out to the living room and they settled on the sofa again, this time side by side, as Ben commandeered the remote. He turned up the volume and switched channels to some horrible old horror movie then handed her some tissue paper and bags. “When in doubt, honey, crafting heals all wounds.”
