Her Pack by Tamara White

Chapter Thirty-One

Laura,Monique, and I are the only ones left in the house now. Eli offered to show Walter and Tim around the pack, while we had a little girl time. They’re probably all going to discuss what has happened since we’ve been here. They’ll most likely just have to repeat it all when Lily and the Elders arrive later anyway.

Lucky bastards. I thought it would be good to have time with the girls, and talk about a lot of things, but now I’m thinking they just wanted me alone to ream me out for running away.

Both women are sitting on the couch across from me. Monique has her arms crossed and her gaze roams over me, her eyes tell me she has definitely got something to say. Laura, however, looks a little more relaxed, but she’s also just staring at me.

I glance between the two women, waiting for one of them to break the silence before I’m forced to. I mean, I can’t just come right out and be like ‘so, did you hear about my sister?’. They obviously want to talk about my disappearance first, so may as well just wait it out. They can’t stay silent forever.

Monique clears her throat, leaning forth on the couch to give me an intense look. I shrink back from the disappointment I see shining through. “So, are you going to explain yourself, young lady?” I open my mouth to explain, but she just continues speaking. “Honestly, child, what were you thinking just up and running in the middle of your mating ceremony and coronation. Do you have any idea the impact that has had on everyone? The packs don’t know what to think of you anymore. Some of them wonder if you’ve abandoned them, others think you have sided with Luke. And then there have been whispers that you have simply just run away out of cowardice. So, what is it? Are you a coward? Or have you changed your mind about being queen? Because if you have, then best to tell me now so we can figure out what the hell to do next.”

“Whoa, wait. You really think I would just up and leave the packs? I admit, I was pretty stupid in leaving the way I did, and while I had my doubts about being Queen, that’s no longer the case. I just, after killing Sonja, and enjoying it as much as I did, I wasn’t comfortable wearing the crown that would kill me. I wanted to be sure that if I put it on my head, I would be worthy and you know, not die a horrible, painful death.”

“Why didn’t you say something, though?” Laura has tears in her eyes as she speaks. “We had to hear from the boys that you had left because you wanted to be cleansed. The least you could have done was reach out and ask for help.”

I sigh, my shoulders slumping from the weight of their disappointment. “Honestly, because I needed to go. I couldn’t stand the idea of sticking around and having people try to convince me of something that I felt in my heart to be the right decision. If I had stayed and tried to explain myself, one of you would have talked me into staying, and that would have been the wrong decision. I mean, look at what I’ve accomplished so far here. Eli’s pack is now on my side, we’ve found Jason’s pack, all except his mother.” I cock my head to the side revealing one of my marks. “I’ve bonded with my mates without the pressure of everyone else watching us constantly.” I cover myself up, ignoring their wide eyes. “And, we have a hunter working with us to help find Luke. I think being here has accomplished a hell of a lot more than when I was with any of the other packs.”

And at least being here, no one has died. Sure, we’ve had a few surprises, but nothing I haven’t been able to handle so far. The whole Sarah incident is complicated, especially since we’ve just found out she’s carrying Blaise’s child. Vivienne wanted to punish her, to kill her for her part in harming her son, but after Blaise appealed to Eli, well, it was agreed that she remain confined to their home until Luke was no longer a problem. If she left her home without permission, she would lose any protection that she had been given.

Then there’s Lia. I found out I have a sister being here with this pack. If I had of stayed behind, who knows if I would have ever found out about her. I have a feeling that the universe wanted me here. I’m so damn close to getting rid of Luke, and maybe this was the last step I needed to take.

“You’re right,” Monique sighs. “I don’t like it, but I think you needed to be here. We never included this pack as part of the trials, but it feels like this was always part of Malina’s plan. The Alpha Queen destined to make the choice for our packs would have to include them because while we’ve never included them before, they are part of our history. Whether or not the rest of the packs accept that is something we will have to deal with when the time comes.”

Laura nods along with Monique. “While I wish you could have trusted me enough to talk to me than just disappearing, I agree that you may have needed to take this path. It seems too coincidental that everything is falling into place for your time as a queen. That isn’t just luck, that’s fate.”

“I never really believed in fate, or destiny, but I know that for the first time in my life I feel like everything is coming together the way it was supposed to. Sure, there are surprises still being thrown at me now and then, but I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on everything.”

“That’s good.” Monique sighs, her eyes filling with pride. “I’m so proud of you, Danielle. Never forget that, even if I come across stubborn and set in my ways, I will always be proud of whatever choices you make as queen. Your parents would be just as proud of the young woman you’re becoming.”

I can only hope that’s true.

“Right, now it’s time for you to spill all the details. You have a sister? You’ve marked some of the boys? There’s a wolf hunter in this pack?” Laura fires off question after question, her eyes growing wider with each one. “It’s clear a lot more has gone on here then even I knew about.”

“Yeah, I don’t even know where to begin,” I tell her with a sigh. Still, I go into detail and recount everything that’s happened. How Anthony revealed himself to us, how Aiden came forth as a wolf hunter who’d had his family murdered by Luke, then about how my mates and I had begun bonding, and finally the recent addition to my family, my sister Lia.

Monique and Laura both listened while I talked, nodding in places, but mostly they kept quiet. I didn’t even realize how much I needed to vent. To tell people other than myself about all that has occurred in recent weeks.

Laura gets up and moves over to my lounge and takes a seat beside me. She wraps an arm around me and squeezes tight. “My dear girl, this is why you should have called me sooner. So much going on and no one to talk to. How on earth have you kept sane with all this?”

“I have no clue,” I admit, knowing that there have been times when I felt frustratingly overwhelmed, but I just shove it all to the back of my mind, hoping for a time when I can deal with all the crap going on in my life.

Monique chuckles. “She’s a Jackson, that’s how.”

I look up at her, unsure what that means.

“When I was a young girl, I did the same, and I imagine your mother did the same as well. We Jackson women have a lot on our plates from the moment we’re born, and then when we’re old enough to be thrust into the trials, we have to be on our best behaviour. We shove all that anger, frustration and fear into the deep recesses of our minds and just pray that it dissolves without ever speaking of it again. Alas, it never really works that way and we eventually have to deal with it, or find an outlet. My outlet is coloring. Or drawing, pretty much anything that contains colored pens really,” she winks over at me, showing me her hands.

On the outer edge of her palms is smudged in a variety of colors, like what used to happen to me as a child. Even her fingertips are smudged with various shades of ink.

“I used to color, but not anymore. I think the only real outlet that would work for me, is training. Dad used to say it was the only way for me to blow off my frustrations. We tried meditation at one point, but well, it never really worked out. I mean, can you imagine a wolf who can’t shift, feeling the frustration of her wolf constantly, only to be told to do relaxing poses and to help control my breathing.”

Both women laugh at the absurdity. Even I thought it was ridiculous when dad suggested it, but because I loved him, I thought I would give it a try. I lasted fifteen minutes, which is thirteen minutes longer than I expected.

Maybe I need to do more training, make it a daily exercise so I can work out that frustration that builds. Plus, it always helped me think. Being a queen, I will need all the ability to keep my head level as possible.

“I think it’s time we go find the boys and Vivienne. I believe she mentioned food at this little shin dig she was holding,” Laura says with a faraway look in her eyes.

Her hand absently rubs her stomach and I can’t help but smile. She makes one hell of an adorable looking mother. “I’m sorry, I should have offered you food before we sat down. After all, you’re making life. I can’t even imagine how draining that is.”

She smiles softly over at me, rubbing her tummy in circles. “Maybe one day you will,” she murmurs, her eyes full of longing.

I simply offer her a smile, unsure how to tell her kids aren’t exactly a part of my future. It’s something I still haven’t discussed with my mates yet, something that we should have discussed. I mean, maybe after Luke is dead, his followers long gone, it would be something I could consider, but not anytime soon.

I don’t say any of that though and let Laura believe she’ll have a grandchild one day soon. I just hope she doesn’t judge me for waiting until I have my life sorted before I even make that decision. I just hope my wolf doesn’t force the issue. Maybe now that I’ve started marking my mates, she will be satisfied for a while.

I rise to my feet and help Laura stand. “Come on, let’s go and get those babies fed.”