Always You by Lizzie Morton
Sixteen
The hike up Whiteface Mountain kills us all off, and I spend the rest of the afternoon listening to the girls bitch and moan about how they hate exercise and will never do any again. They soon perk up when food and drink is mentioned.
The evening goes without a hitch. Although Zoe tries to convince us to go out partying, we’re all exhausted and promise we will party as much as she wants tomorrow. The evil glint in her eye makes it clear she’s going to make sure we keep it.
The last day is like the first, spent lounging by the pool and taking in the beautiful surroundings. We don’t see much of Jake and Amanda. They venture off to do couples things. I’m not complaining. I’d rather they do couples things where I can’t see them. It’s later in the day when Zoe decides we have to follow through with our promise of partying, so we leave the pool to get ready.
We meet the rest of the group on the main street to hit up a couple of the local bars. They have nothing on Riffs, there’s lots of wood and they have a small-town vibe, but they’re quirky and fit with everything Lake Placid.
Once we settle in, I never want to leave. The atmosphere is fun and relaxing, and we spend hours outside, drinking under the evening sun. As the steady flow of alcohol begins to catch up with us, we grow increasingly louder.
“I wub you, Abeeee,” says Sophie, throwing her arms around my neck and swaying.
I’m feeling buzzed, but no way near as drunk as she is.
I pat her head and reply, “I know you do.”
“Pweez don’t weeb again,” she says verging on sobbing. She’s always one to get emotional when she’s had too much to drink.
“You mean leave? Well, I can’t promise that, but you’re too drunk to be talking about this.”
She nods in agreement then folds herself in half over the table, placing her head in her arms to go to sleep.
“Too much to drink again?” Asks Jake, sliding in next to me with a drink in his hand. I’m surprised he’s here. The last time I checked he hadn’t turned up with Amanda, and as the night has gone on, I assumed they weren’t going to come.
“Of course. At least there’s more of us to handle the two of them.”
He chuckles and says, “I think Shaun’s more than got Zoe covered.”
I turn to see what he’s talking about. It isn’t surprising that Zoe is leaning against him for support, she always needs someone to prop her up. What is surprising, is the way Shaun is stroking her face affectionately. Clearly, he’s tanked.
“When did that happen?” I ask, unsure whether Shaun is as drunk as I think, or if there is something more going on that I haven’t figured out yet.
Jake leans back in his chair and takes a long drag of his beer, watching them before he replies, “It hasn’t. Yet. I don’t think anyway.”
“Well, he better not take advantage of her being wasted.”
He raises an eyebrow at my comment. “Come on, Abby. You know Shaun would never do anything like that.”
“You think you know people, but sometimes they surprise you,” I say offhandedly, but it’s obvious what I’m referring to.
“Listen, I’m sorry about Amanda. I know you’re mad I didn’t tell her about us, but I don’t want her to start reading too much into things.”
“Like what?” I’m not sure what he’s getting at. We can barely be around each other five minutes without there being some form of bickering, she wouldn’t care about our past.
He sighs and replies, “I dunno. There’s stuff going on and I need to keep things as simple as possible.”
“Always the man of mystery, never giving anything away …”
It’s an opening for him to explain and I sit for a few seconds waiting to see if he will take it. He doesn’t, of course he doesn’t. Instead of engaging with him any longer I turn my attention to Sophie.
“Hey,” he takes ahold of my arm and tugs gently, so I spin back around to face him.
My eyes meet his brown ones and I freeze. My skin feels like it’s on fire where his hand is touching, and I suck in a sharp breath as my heart pounds. This needs to stop.
My eyes betray me when they flicker down to his hand. Before I speak, I exhale slowly. “Jake, there’s nothing to say. Do us both a favor and rather than trying to please me, focus on the girl back at the lodge. You know, your girlfriend.”
His hand snaps away and he grabs his beer, downs what’s left then says, “Right. Forget I bothered. Clearly me and you trying to be friends isn’t going to work. I’m done, Abby.”
I watch as he walks away, back to Amanda at the hotel, and even though it’s the right thing for him to do, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt like hell.
***
“You just left it at that?” Sophie asks from the back of the car.
We’re on our way home from the lake, and the journey feels longer than ever without all the excitement and anticipation. The trip felt bittersweet. It was great being back with the group and feeling close to them again, but it was also painful being in such proximity to Jake for so long. At least after last night we’ve drawn a line under things and can each get on with our summer.
“Yeah. Unfortunately, it’s not going to work us being friends. It was a tall order to begin with.”
“Maybe it’s for the best,” says Zoe, nodding in agreement beside me. “What good would come from you guys getting close anyway?”
“There’s no need to worry about that now.”
I want the conversation to end. I’m feeling flat as it is, and don’t want to keep rehashing what happened with Jake.
I spend the rest of the journey home quietly staring out the window. The break was needed, but I’m craving being back in the full throes of work to take my mind off the Jake drama. The busier the better.
My cell bleeps a few times, alerting me to messages from Michael. I read what they say and begin banging my head against the dashboard.
Zoe frowns. “Want me to pull over so you can finish the job properly, or are you going to tell us what’s wrong?”
“Michael booked tickets to come to Brooklyn for 4th of July,” I answer.
“Not a nice surprise?”
I sigh, “Not really.”
He’s picked the worst possible time to tell me. With the funk I’m in, my reaction was never going to be positive.
“Maybe it’s what you guys need? Time away from your usual surroundings might help to rekindle the romance.”
“Zo … the group are spending it together. That means me, Michael, Jake and Amanda together for a whole day. What can go wrong?’
Realizing the potential train wreck, it could be, makes Zoe pause before saying, “Hmmm. Well at least there will be shots, and fireworks. That will make things a bit better.”
“I don’t think it will.” I don’t want to be the queen of negativity, but I can’t see how anything good can come from this scenario.
“You could just get so wasted that you don’t have to deal with any of them …” What she’s suggesting is wrong, yet it makes sense. It would be an easy get out of jail free card.
“I’ve seen some of the predicaments you’ve gotten yourself into …”
“Yes, but watching you get wasted and trying to deal with them all will add comedy value to my day,” she wiggles her eyebrows letting me know she’s kidding.
I blame the hangover for the fact I bite back, “Nice to know you’re being super supportive.”
“There’s no point in dwelling, Abs, he’s coming. Look at it this way. It’s either going to make or break the relationship. At least then you’ll have clarity as far as your relationship is concerned, even if you haven’t made a decision about work.”
I focus my attention out the window and say quietly, “I guess you’re right.”
“I’m always right.”
She pulls me over the gear box and gives the best side-on hug she can, considering we’re still hurtling down the highway.
***
It’s later that evening when we arrive home. We were the last ones to leave thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol we consumed between us the night before. We opted to be safe and leave later which meant we hit traffic in a big way, when trying to get back into Brooklyn.
My parents are in the kitchen, where Mom is preparing a late dinner when I eventually walk through the door.
“Hey, honey. Good trip?” she asks with a smile that instantly lifts me out of the bad mood I’ve been in all day.
“It was great. The lake was beautiful, we climbed the mountain, drank a lot of cocktails.” I purposely miss out the details of what went down with Jake.
“Would we expect anything else with Sophie and Zoe in tow?” Dad laughs from the where he’s sitting at the kitchen table, typing on his laptop.
“Exactly. I’m not feeling too great today. I may have let them lead me astray.”
“Tut tut. How dare you have fun and act your age?” Mom waggles her finger, being anything but serious.
“Yeah, yeah. Is dinner going to be long?” It’s been hours since I ate, and my stomach is growling at the delicious smells filling the room.
“No. You got home just in time. It’ll be ten minutes max.”
I let them know I’ll be back and head up to my room. I drop my bags on the floor, planning to deal with them later, like maybe a day or two later. I freshen up and ten minutes later, as planned, I’m settling at the table with my parents and a huge mound of pasta, salad and fresh bread. I will never get bored of the home cooked meals.
“It smells amazing, thanks, Mom.”
“No problem. Let’s tuck in before it gets cold,” she replies.
I’m finishing my third huge portion when Dad clears his throat and looks at me. “Abby, I have a favor to ask.”
It’s not often he sounds so serious. I place my fork down on the table and say, “Okay …”
“We’ve taken on a lot of new bands at the record label, and they’re all in the early stages of rebranding and promotions-”
Before he can continue, I smile and say, “Let me guess. You need a photographer?”
“Well … yeah. I know I mentioned there would be some work at the beginning of the summer, but quite a bit has come up recently and we’re struggling to find anyone with enough time in their diary to do everything we need.” As he’s speaking, I notice the stress lines etched on his face from too much frowning.
“You don’t need to explain, I’d be happy to help. I might need to jiggle about some shifts at the bar, but I’m sure Shaun won’t mind.”
“Well, it works kind of perfect, actually,” he continues. “We’ve heard that Shaun’s bar is the up-and-coming place for live music, so we’re in the process of setting up a lot of new gigs there as breakout performances.”
“Which means I will already be at the bar…” I nod. Dad is incredibly good at his job, and always has a way of making things work for everyone involved, with the least amount of effort.
“Exactly. The rest of the work we need you to do will be behind the scenes. Interview shots, staged shoots for branding, et cetera. maybe even some cover shots.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Sounds like a lot of work. Some would say it sounds like a permanent position …”
He’s up to something. He’s had this card up his sleeve for a while, and I know it’s no coincidence that suddenly, as I return to Brooklyn, there is an abundance of work available for me at the label.
“There may be an opening for a permanent self-employed position.” He fakes an innocent look around the room, as if he hadn’t already thought all this through, but it’s wasted effort as I already know what he’s up to. “You would still have the flexibility of being self-employed so you could do other things, but most of the time, work with the label would be a guarantee. I know you have other options that you’re mulling over, which we still have to hear about I might mention.”
“I know, Dad. Truthfully, I haven’t spoken with anyone about the work stuff yet. I’ll tell you when I’m ready. I can do the work this summer for the label and add you to my pile of options. How does that sound?”
I’m praying he isn’t offended that my answer isn’t an instant yes. It would be so easy, and most people would jump at the chance and think I’m an idiot for not, but there’s too much going on in my head to make any big decisions.
His face relaxes and he replies calmly, “That would be perfect. You will be helping us out of a sticky situation, even if it’s just for the summer. Who knew there was so much new talent out there? They seem to have crawled out of the woodwork overnight.”
There’s one detail niggling at me. “You haven’t mentioned who any of the bands are. Do I know any of them?” My stomach clenches as my parents share a knowing look, meaning that I’m about to hear something I really don’t want to.
“About that … I suppose I do need to tell you … One of the bands you would be working with is S.C.A.R.A.B.” The smile on his face is far too enthusiastic and he purposefully doesn’t refer to them as Jake’s band, as if it will soften the blow.
I purse my lips, trying to stamp down the anger that flares inside me. One minute everyone is telling me to stay away from Jake, the next they throw us into situations where we can’t avoid each other.
“Seriously?” I ask, my eyes wide with disbelief. “You’ve both been warning me off him and now here you are pushing us together? It’s ok for us to be around each other … but only if it’s on your terms, right?”
“Abby, I never said for you not to be around him. I vaguely remember telling you that I thought he’d grown into a great young man. That’s the reason I’m telling you to be careful. It would be easy to get caught up in the two of you again and after last time …”
“Well, you don’t need to worry. This trip set in stone that we can’t be friends, even for the benefit of the group.” Tears burn my eyes. I’m trying to fight it, but the past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. I’m exhausted and ready for giving in.
“Maybe that’s not a bad thing,” Mom says taking in my disappointed expression.
“At least it will make my decision at the end of the summer easier,” I admit, then curse inwardly that I’ve revealed Jake might influence my choice.
“So …” Dad says warily. “Do you think you’ll be able to work together?”
“I suppose.” I feel as uncertain as I sound. “I’m not saying it’s going to be all sunshine and roses, but for the most part I don’t need to engage with him. I just need to give the band direction and take photos.”
“Well, that’s it settled then.” The relief on his face is clear, even though he wouldn’t have put any pressure on me to say yes. “Would tomorrow be too last minute to start?”
I sit, blinking slowly, trying not to panic at the thought of having to work with Jake after the disaster that was the past few days.
The last thing I want to do is let Dad and the band down, which is why I reply, “It should be fine. Set it up and I’ll be wherever you need me. I have a late shift at the bar, so most of the day is free.”
The next few minutes are spent making plans for the following morning. The shoot is at Riffs, so we arrange to go together. It’s the strangest, most informal job interview I’ve had, but it’s with my dad so of course it would be. I feel sick with nerves, even though he’s doing everything he can to keep things positive and make me feel comfortable about working with Jake.
Once I’ve helped clear the table, I say goodnight to them both and wearily make my way up to my room. Collapsing on the bed, my body and brain ache in ways I didn’t think were possible, thanks to the persistent hangover and emotional stress of the trip.
If I stand a chance of getting through the next day in one piece, I need a good night’s rest. Instead, I wind up in a restless sleep, dreaming of Jake the whole time.
