Always You by Lizzie Morton
Fifteen
The rest of our first day at Lake Placid is a blur of cocktails and lazing by the pool. It’s the perfect first day of vacation and the down time I needed. I’d never admit it to the others, but the past couple of weeks have been crazy, running from one job to another, I’m exhausted.
Not long after the little cover-up drama, Shaun called saying there had been an issue at the bar and he had to stay until it was resolved in the afternoon, meaning him and Amanda would be arriving later that evening. The lodge has its own restaurant, and we agreed to meet there and hold off on food until they arrive.
Once we’re ready, we meet the guys in the restaurant, where they’ve already grabbed a table, and ordered drinks. Luckily, with there being so many of us, the table is long, and I choose to sit at the opposite end to Jake. The less drama, the better.
When I sit down, I glance around, taking in the cozy surroundings. My eyes find Jake, who is frowning at me, again. I look elsewhere, choosing to ignore him. I don’t have to justify my reasons for not wanting to sit near him and his current girlfriend.
“Are they going to be here soon?” Zoe moans. She’s made it more than clear she’s unhappy we’re having to wait for the others to order food. “I could literally eat my own arm.”
“Feel free if that’s what it takes to keep you quiet,” says Sam with an evil smile.
A napkin hits him square in the face, coming from Sophie’s direction. “Don’t be an ass. You know what she’s like when she’s hungry,” she says.
Zoe’s incessant moaning might be annoying, but none of us can disguise the loud noises coming from our own stomachs. The afternoon has been filled with plenty of drinking and not much eating, so we order a few appetizers from the menu, not knowing exactly when Shaun and Amanda are going to arrive.
The food arrives and I tuck straight in. The second I shovel a huge scoop of nachos into my mouth, a hand squeezes my shoulder from behind. “Couldn’t wait for us I see,” says Shaun’s husky voice.
Sam holds up his hands, acting as if he had no part to play in ordering any of the food in front of us. “Sorry, bro. Zoe was getting hangry, you know how it is.”
Shaun shakes his head. Losing interest in his brother he turns his attention back to me. “No hello, Abs?”
He stares down at me, so I look up and point at my overly full mouth, exaggerating chewing. Then my eyes focus on the person standing next to him. She’s gorgeous, very blonde, very leggy, with huge breasts and golden skin. A bit like a real-life Barbie. My stomach plummets and I’m suddenly not interested in the food in front of me. We’ve not been introduced, but I know this is Amanda.
So here we are, like chalk and cheese. Her looking every bit the blonde bombshell, and me with cheese and salsa falling from my mouth. There’s no question why Jake made the choice he did. Keeping my promise, I offer up a food filled smile, to which she wrinkles her nose, obviously repulsed at the churned-up food that keeps dropping down my front. It’s an afterthought when she offers a smile back. Feeling humiliated yet again, I look down and focus on my nachos.
When I recover from my embarrassment, I look across the table, and Sophie catches my eye, offering a look of sympathy. True to form, I watch as both her and Zoe shovel huge mounds of nachos into their mouths, and then begin cackling and spraying food all over the table.
“Gross, guys,” I say.
Really, I’m laughing on the inside and thankful these are my best friends. It’s not often you find people willing to embarrass themselves to help you and it reinforces why we’re such a strong unit despite our differences. We well and truly have each other’s backs.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Shaun and Amanda move around the table. Shaun sits next to Zach and of course Amanda settles down next to Jake. I smile at Shaun, having finally cleared my mouth of food. I don’t know where it comes from, but I gather the courage and turn to directly speak to Amanda.
“You must be Amanda,” I say with an extra sweet smile, then continue, “sorry I couldn’t say hi before, I had a bit of a food predicament. It’s great to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”
The whole group stares silently, and you could cut the tension with a knife. I get that it’s surprising I would be the one to instigate a conversation with her, but they could at least attempt to make it feel less weird.
“Not from Jake you haven’t,” mutters Sam under his breath. I kick him under the table, hard. “What the fuck, Abs?”
“Oops, sorry, my foot slipped.” I shoot daggers his way, as a warning not to make any more remarks.
Amanda looks between us with an amused expression. Finally, she says, “That’s so sweet. Jake’s told me that you used to be close friends. I hope we can be friends too. Any friend of Jake’s is a friend of mine.”
Her smile seems genuine but I’m not too sure. It’s obvious though that she believes whatever Jake has told her. Whether he has blatantly lied about our past relationship or merely chosen to omit a large chunk of the truth, that’s their issue. Right now, my issue is that this girl I want to hate, seems nice and I feel torn, not knowing how I should react.
The waitress picks the right moment to walk back over to the table which distracts Amanda from our conversation and gives me time to think. Jake told her we were just ‘good friends’, which means he neglected to tell her our real history and that we had a relationship. What the hell? I knew he didn’t think much of our time together, which was evident in how he ended things, but completely dismissing that we were together at all ... I don’t know what to make of it.
I look around the table. Everyone’s attention is on ordering food and more drinks. Jake stares at his menu intently, refusing to look at anyone. Then my eyes land on Zach. He must sense me watching him because he looks over with a sad smile, then shakes his head ever so slightly and mouths, “he’s an idiot,” which turns my frown into a smile.
When she’s placed her food order with the waitress, Zoe whispers to me, “You ok?”
“Ma’am what can I get you?” I hadn’t even realized it was my turn to order food, I’d been too focused on answering Zoe.
“You know what, I’m ok thanks.” Zoe looks confused so I explain. “I think I’m gonna head back to the room. I’m suddenly not feeling that great.”
It’s not a lie. The last five minutes have turned my stomach, so I push my chair back, and stand. I offer the table, apart from Jake a wave and make my way back to the room. Collapsing on the bed, I will sleep to come quickly, which thankfully it does.
My last thought is that maybe after a good night’s sleep, this won’t all feel quite as bad as it does right now.
***
“Rise and shine, sexy lady!” I wake up the following morning to Zoe diving on the bed and engulfing me in a giant bear hug. “Feeling better?”
I groan into my pillow. “Since when are you so chipper in the morning?” I don’t feel like I’ve had anywhere near enough sleep, but then again, I would happily stay in bed forever if it meant I didn’t have to face Jake and Amanda again.
“Since we have to be up and at ‘em.”
“Why?”
“Had you stayed at the meal … you would have been privy to our plans for the day. Whiteface Mountain,” she states bluntly.
“Did I just hear you say mountain?” Suddenly I feel more awake. There’s nothing I love more than getting outside.
She nods. “Yep. Please tell me you brought your sneakers?”
“Of course.” My grouchy face is swapped for a smile. The days plans lift my spirits from the night before. I had intended on spending the morning in bed resting, but after the crap from last night, a bit of physical exertion is exactly what the doctor ordered. We didn’t come all the way to Lake Placid to stay inside. Remembering some of the beautiful scenery we saw on our drive in yesterday has me literally buzzing to get out with my camera.
“Well, that got you out of last night’s funk. Soph and I figured that the more distracted we all were, the better.”
“Plus, it might be a chance to break the ice between you and Amanda?” says Sophie, walking in from the bathroom, towel drying her hair. I didn’t even know she was listening.
“It’s not Amanda that’s the problem,” I huff, as the conversation from last night comes flooding back.
Sophie smiles weakly, knowing my feelings have been hurt. “We know, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. Whatever Jake chose to tell her or not tell her about the two of you is his choice. If you want to take it up with him, I suggest you do it when his girlfriend isn’t around?”
I consider what she’s saying. She’s right. It’s Jake’s business, and nothing to do with Amanda.
“Soph, you’re far too wise sometimes,” I say.
“It’s hard being this brilliant.” She shimmies her Lycra covered ass to emphasize her point, and I roll my eyes. “Now, get up and get ready. We have a half hour before breakfast, then we need to get out before the heat gets too much.”
“Yes, sir!” I salute her, then jump out of bed and run straight into the bathroom.
Over an hour later, fresh, and full of breakfast, we make our way to the car so we can meet the rest of the group. They’ve gotten a head start on us, and we meet them at a small visitor car park at the edge of a forest. Even though it’s only 8am, the heat is rising at a rapid rate.
“Nice to see you girls are punctual as ever,” says Shaun, smirking at Zoe.
She narrows her eyes and struts past him. It’s impossible not to notice his eyes following and taking in the view of her when he thinks no one’s looking. Interesting. I never would have guessed there could be something between them, but it’s been a long time since we’ve all been together like this.
“Almost ready to go?” Sam comes up behind me and pulls me into a hug.
“Yep, we just need to load up a couple of packs with water. Did everyone bring snacks?” Sophie asks to the group. They nod their confirmation and it’s clear this is a regular part of their annual Lake Placid trips.
We take the primary trail, along a long open forest route and it’s incredibly beautiful as the sun peeps through the trees. The guys tell me it’s a long, steady slog, and although the route isn’t too far, distance wise, the climb is the killer, especially in the summer heat. I don’t mind though, because I get to take photos of the stunning scenery along the way.
We amble along, joking and chatting. I don’t see much of Jake and Amanda thankfully, as they stay ahead of the group. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, as I saw Jake powering off at full speed with Amanda struggling to keep up behind. As far as I’m concerned, the more space between us the better.
Even though it takes time, when we get to the top, it proves to be worth every bit of sweat and pain, as the views are breathtaking. They’re panoramic and we can see everything for miles.
While the rest of the group unloads their packs and sits down for a long overdue water break and snack, I pull out my camera and set about taking photos. I’m off work duty but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t feel like work when we’re out here, above the world. These are the photos I rarely get to take, and it’s refreshing. I wind up in my own little world, snapping away. Everything around me disappears, so I’m surprised when a sweet voice sounds next to me.
“Can I see?” I turn and find Amanda looking at me expectantly.
I tell myself no animosity, take a deep breath and say, “Sure.”
I open the preview screen, so she can look at some of the images I’ve captured.
“Wow. These are good. Like really, really good, Abby.”
“Thanks,” I reply, trying to sound friendly. “They’re not perfect but they’re fine for just messing around.”
“They’re some of the best I’ve seen. If this is you just messing around then you must be really talented.” I can tell from warmth in her eyes as she speaks, that she means it. Even though every part of me is screaming to hate her, I can’t help but like her myself. Damnit.
“We should probably start heading back down. It’s starting to get really hot out,” I say changing the subject. There is only so much bonding with my ex’s girlfriend I can take.
“You’re right,” she agrees.
Once the group finishes rehydrating, we steadily make our way back down the mountain. I take my time, wanting to put distance between myself and Amanda. Although we shared a friendly moment, I’m not keen for it to become a regular thing, and don’t want it to go beyond this trip.
I trail at the back and Zach comes to join me, for a while we walk in amicable silence. We hear cheering down ahead and Amanda throws her arms up in the air in celebration. Shaun yells something I can’t make out and Jake throws his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in and placing a kiss on her temple.
Walking in the middle, Zoe and Sophie look back over their shoulders concerned at what my reaction might be. This is the first time I’ve seen Jake and Amanda show any kind of affection to each other, and it sucks.
I’m trying not to act irrationally. We broke up years ago and he’s in a relationship, I know this … so why won’t my heart listen? Why does seeing them together like this hurt so much? After the conversation we had at the bar about trying to be friends, I thought he might be a little more tactful in front of me. I was wrong.
“He’s a good guy you know,” says Zach, looking ahead as we continue walking.
“You could have fooled me.”
“It caught him off guard, you, coming back.”
This piques my interest. “What do you mean?”
“He didn’t think you’d ever come back. Everyone said you were done with Brooklyn, and he thought he’d never have to face up to the mess he made of things.”
“Mess … That’s one way of putting it,” I’m being grumpy and none of this Zach’s fault. I tag on the end a quiet, “sorry.”
“I know this must be hard, but it’s hard on him too. It always was. Maybe you should give him a bit of a break. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.”
“Which is why he broke up with me after telling me how in love with me he was …” I say. I’m trying to make this friends thing work with Jake and I’m trying to be the bigger person. But who he is now doesn’t change the past, it doesn’t change how he treated me.
“Maybe he didn’t have a choice …”
I pause. That tidbit of information doesn’t fit with the memories I have. “Do you know something I don’t?”
“Potentially. But as his best friend I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone. So, I’m giving you a few hints and you can make up your own mind as to what really went down.”
“Thanks?” I’m not sure why I’m thanking him, I feel more confused than ever.
He shrugs. “I just want to see my best friend happy, and there are some things he isn’t happy about, even though he would never admit it. He’s always done things for everyone else. You’re a perfect example, and I’d like to see that change.”
“Right,” I say bewildered. He’s speaking in riddles and I’m getting more confused with each thing he says.
“I’d also like us to be friends if that could work for you? I have nothing against you, Abby, and I can tell that you’re great. Sorry if it seemed like I was frosty yesterday, I just don’t want to see my friend hurt.”
What he’s saying is ironic because I’m the one that was hurt in all of this. Jake was the one who walked away.
“I’m not here to hurt anyone. All I want is to get through the summer and then get out of Brooklyn.”
“Do you really though? It seems to me like you’ve got everything you could possibly need right here.”
“Apart from one thing.” I’m not sure if he knows about Michael.
He makes it clear he does when he replies, “What if the person you really need is right here, but he just doesn’t know it yet?”
He places a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze before walking ahead to join Sophie and Zoe.
I continue trailing at the back, away from the rest of the group, mulling over every cryptic thing Zach said. I come to one conclusion. I have no clue what’s going on.
