Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie

43Callie

“Thanks for going to look at places with me, Callie. I have to find a new place to rent, and my damn truck won’t be ready until tomorrow,” Mitch says as we park.

“No worries. I actually liked the trailer we looked at last and the rent was reasonable, too,” I tell him. “Besides, I like my car. Mildred doesn’t look like much, but she’s dependable.”

I shut the car off and look at him. As strange as it is to say, Mitch has been my lifeline since Reed and I broke up. It’s been almost a month now and if it wasn’t for him and Katie, I’d go insane. I’m not stupid. I know Mitch is doing it because he likes me. I’d be lying if I said that didn’t feel good, too. He showers me with attention. He drops by with pizza or something on the nights I work late, rubs my feet if I had a long day. He goes out of his way to make me laugh… and to make me feel beautiful.

I should feel guilty, but I keep reminding myself that in the time Reed and I dated and then lived together, he never made love to me—not completely. The more I think on it, the more it makes me wonder if he was ever attracted to me. Mitch sure as hell wants me, and he’s not ashamed to show it. He flirts relentlessly and he’s always touching me. I’m weakening toward him. I like him. I like him a lot. It’s not love, but I’m not sure I’ll ever love anyone again. I still love Reed—but I hate him, too.

He pushed me away. He didn’t even try to keep me. Katie was right. I am mad. I want a man who would make me a priority—who wants me above anything and anyone else. Mitch makes me feel like he does, and he tells me he does.

That has to mean something.

I haven’t had sex with him, yet. We have had some heavy petting sessions, but I haven’t been able to say yes when he asks for more. I know I’m holding out to see if Reed changes his mind and comes back to me. It makes me feel stupid and weak, but it’s true.

“She definitely looks rough,” he laughs. “Now that you’re going to be working at the diner, you should buy yourself a better vehicle, babe. Something safer. I worry about you being out late at night alone.”

I frown. It is something to think about. I start working at the diner next week. I switched there from the flower shop, because of the pay and hours. I’ll be full-time at the diner, and I’ll get to keep my tips. I have a friend that works there that says she can make up to three hundred a night with tips on Saturday night. With money like that, I can afford to get out of Macon if I want to, and that idea is holding more and more appeal. I go out of my way not to see Chasity or Reed, but it does happen and each time it hurts. They’re rarely together, but that doesn’t really help. It’s painful no matter what.

“Maybe. Mildred has been a good car, though. She’s pretty loyal. Even when she breaks down it seems to only happen in my driveway. She’s never left me stranded. It seems that should be rewarded, not replaced,” I mumble.

“I can see that,” he says, surprising me.

“You can?” I ask, shocked.

He leans in close, his minty breath caressing the side of my face, sending shivers of awareness through my body.

Mitch is hot and we’ve been together before. So, I know he knows how to bring me pleasure. It’s more than that, though. When he’s around me, he has this way of making me believe all he wants in the world is me.

That’s hard for a girl to resist.

Especially one who has had her pride and heart broken.

“Yeah. One should never take loyalty for granted, Callie. When someone cares about you enough to always put you first, I think that’s someone you should hold onto.” His hand comes up to move along the side of my neck and he caresses the tender skin there, making my pulse jump. “Maybe even take them to your new home and let them make it theirs, too.”

“We’re not talking about cars anymore are we, Mitch?” I breathe, looking into his eyes.

“What do you think?”

I pull back to look at him.

“Why do you keep putting up with me, knowing the mess I’m trying to sort through with your brother, Mitch?”

“That’s easy, sweetheart. You’re worth it. You let me taste your sweetness and I’m not going to stop until I have—”

“Mitch it was one night—”

“I’m not talking about sex, Callie. I’m talking about it all. How you nursed me when I was sick. How you make dinner for the Johnsons, because you know Mrs. Johnson isn’t able and Mr. Johnson can’t cook. It’s how you have two kittens because you couldn’t turn them away when someone set them out. It’s everything you are, Callie. That’s the sweetness I want in my life. You’re amazing.”

“You really mean that, don’t you?”

“Just because my brother was stupid enough to push you away for the likes of Chasity, doesn’t mean I’m stupid, Callie. You’re all I want in this world. I can wait until you’re ready, but I’m not going to back down and let someone else come in and try to steal away what I want.”

Damn. See?

Mitch keeps chipping away at the walls I’ve put up since Reed hurt me. He’s slowly making me want to believe someone could find me worth putting first—that I’m not asking for too much.

I almost tell him to go back home with me right then—to take that leap of faith and pray he is as good as he says he is. That he will love me like I’ve always wanted someone too.

Like I thought Reed did.

“Let’s get some grub,” he says, saving me from myself.

I don’t want to be with someone because I’m hurt and have no confidence. I don’t want to use Mitch like that. Until I know that Reed is a lost cause, giving myself to Mitch or to anyone else is just wrong.

I still love him.

“Let’s do it,” I agree.

I unhook my seatbelt and get out of the car, slipping my keys into my pocket. Mitch usually drives, but said he just wanted to be a passenger today. Which is fine because I really like driving. He walks around the front of the car to meet me, but he keeps looking over his shoulder.

“Hey, Callie? How about we go for pizza instead? I’m in the mood for some of that cheese bread from Moonie’s,” he says out of the blue.

“What? You were gung-ho for some of Mavis’s chicken fried steak, remember? “

“Yeah, I know,” he says, glancing over his shoulder. “I’ve just suddenly started craving spaghetti, what can I say?” He turns back around and he’s smiling at me, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. Gone is the fun-loving, happy Mitch that is always making me happy, too. This Mitch almost looks pissed.

“You said you wanted cheese bread a second ago, not spaghetti. What’s going on with you, Mitch?” I ask him, trying to look around his large frame.

He puts his hands on each of my arms, keeping me from moving. I frown, jerking away from him.

“Come on, Callie, please? Let’s go to Moonie’s.”

I narrow my eyes. Something is wrong, and I have a bad feeling it’s whatever Mitch is trying to hide from me.

“Move out of my way, Mitch.”

“Callie,” he says.

“Now.”

He looks sad for a minute, but he moves to the side. I look in the direction Mitch was doing his best to hide and there I see it.

Reed is standing by the diner, talking to Chasity. He’s dressed in dark jeans and one of those t-shirts he loved to wear when we went out together. Chasity is cleaned up, wearing a flowing sundress, too. Her hair has been fixed nice—most likely from a salon. I guess date night is included in room and board, because they definitely look like they’re out on a date. That hurts, but it’s not the worst of it. Reed has his hand on her stomach. Chasity has hers over his. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell they’re feeling the baby kick. I know because I’ve done the same thing to Katie’s stomach. Katie might be showing more than Chasity, but their due dates are similar, because Katie got pregnant at prom, too.

My heart feels like a rock, and it plummets to my feet. I stand there watching, feeling everything rush back at me—the pain, the hurt, the betrayal. It all rushes back to the surface and that feeling only gets worse when Chasity goes up on her tiptoes and kisses Reed.

In my head I’m begging him to push her way, to pull his hands from her body, to spit at her and rub his mouth to show he’s disgusted. Instead, they keep kissing.

And my dreams of Reed begging me to come back die a horrible death.

“Let’s get out of here,” I mumble, unshed tears stinging my eyes. I’ll fix us dinner at home.

“Okay, baby. Okay,” he says, kissing my forehead and holding out his hand. I don’t have to ask. I know he’s asking for my keys. He doesn’t want me to drive when I’m upset.

At least one of the Lane brothers cares about me. I get in the car after giving him the keys, feeling like an idiot. Sadly, we have to drive by Reed and Chasity. They see my car coming and Reed holds his hand up in a wave. I stare at him, hating him with everything I am. I don’t even think. I flip him off, thankful Mitch wastes no time in leaving Reed in my rearview mirror—which is exactly where he needs to stay.

In the past.