Alec by Margaret McHeyzer
Opening my eyes, I look up to the ceiling and sigh. I haven’t seen Jordan since that day last week outside of The Narrow Table. A part of me is hoping he hasn’t overdosed and isn’t lying dead somewhere, but another part of me thinks that’s exactly what’s happened.
I’ve been at my wits’ end, trying to keep calm every time my phone rings. But there’s a sick feeling brewing in the pit of my gut dreading that knock on the door. And today’s no different.
Except I need to get ready because I’m seeing Alec again. I know he’s going to try and talk to me, just like he has in our other sessions. It’s bad enough that now he knows I also work at The Narrow Table. Thankfully he doesn’t know I clean three houses too.
I push the thin blanket off my bed, and get up. Unlocking my bedroom door, I head to the bathroom.
Once I’m showered, I look at the time, and know I have a spare twenty-five minutes before my first client of the day, which, incidentally, is Alec. I should look for somewhere to rent considering I have only weeks before I have to leave. But I also need to meditate to get my head in a good place.
I lock my bedroom door again, and sit on the floor. I flick through the mediations on my phone and find one to calm my mind. I like this particular meditation, it always makes me feel good once it’s done, although it only plays for fifteen minutes.
When the fifteen minutes are over, I feel calmer and more prepared for the busy day ahead. I have back-to-back clients, then I need to head over to the Royces’ to clean, before doing the late shift at The Narrow Table. Only to come home, and try to sleep, and start all over again tomorrow. But, tomorrow won’t be so bad, because I don’t have any houses to clean, and I think I’m only at the hospital with no house visits. Yes.
Opening the calendar on my phone, I double-check that I do have Alec first up, then back to the hospital once I’ve finished with him.
I lock my bedroom door, and when I leave the house, I triple-check that the front door is bolted. Getting into my car, I notice the creepy guys aren’t outside yet. It’s too early for them. They were up until all hours last night with their music blaring.
I’m surprised to reach Alec’s in reasonably good time this morning. Getting out of the car, I roll my shoulders and stretch before I grab my bag and head inside. I know Alec’s going to ask me questions about Jordan, but I don’t want to talk to him about it.
Reaching the front door, I take deep breath before I knock.
Alec’s mom, Elise, opens the door with a large smile, holding a mug of coffee. Damn it, I didn’t have breakfast and now my stomach rumbles when I see her with her mug. “You’re bright and early today, Serena.”
“Yes, I am. I’ve got a full day.”
She steps aside, and I head inside toward the back. “Is he awake?”
“He’s been awake for a while. He gets his cast off soon, and he’s looking forward to it.”
“I do have that written down. It means I’ll increase my visits to twice a week.”
“Come three times a week if it means I can get back to work quicker,” Alec says as he smiles toward me. His smile makes my stomach twist, but I know he’s only being nice because he saw me that night with my brother.
“Well, let’s get you back to work as fast as possible,” I say and give him a small nod. Alec’s use of the crutches is now quite proficient. He easily moves around furniture, and is quite nimble. “Let’s work on your lower body today. I haven’t done a lot with your lower back, and I think once you get back to work, you’re going to feel it. How heavy are those hoses?”
“They’re heavy. Just the small ones can be forty-odd pounds.”
“You’ve been in a cast for what, four or five weeks now, right?” He nods. “You would’ve lost muscle mass in that time. Not from your arms, because I can see you’ve been doing the exercises I’ve given you and keep up with the dumbbells.” For a moment, I forget how much of a jerk he can be, and I take in the absolutely beautiful muscularity, his arms bulky and defined.
“Are you okay there?” Alec asks snapping me out of my perving on his strong, beautiful arms. God, stop looking, Serena. He’s going to think I’m greedily drinking him in. I so am, but I don’t want him to know.
“Yeah!” I say in a pitch that’s way too high and obvious.
A small smile tugs at his lips and his eyes stay stuck on me. Oh crap, this is awkward. Why did I have to look at his arms? Why can’t I come in here, do my job, and leave? I’ve successfully done it most other times, unless you count that time we ended up kissing. But that hasn’t happened again, thank God.
“Want me on the bed?”
And naked.
Wait, stop. No, no, and no.
“Sure.” There goes that stupid high pitch again.
Oh, my God. What’s wrong with me? I know. I need to get laid, it feels like it’s been forever. I’m probably a virgin again. He’s not your type, Serena. He’s arrogant, and cocky, and I bet he likes women who are all perfect and stuff. I could never be like them. I don’t even want to be like them.
“Are you done?” Alec asks.
“What?”
“You’re having a whole silent conversation with yourself, and I’m not sure whether you’ve finished or not. I didn’t want to interrupt your staff meeting.” I narrow my eyes at him. Alec chuckles. He lowers his sweatpants to the top of the curve of his lower back. “Is this good?”
“You have no idea,” I whisper to myself. His ass is F.I.N.E.
“Is it now? Thank you.”
“What?” Wait, did I say that out loud? No, I didn’t…did I? I squirt some lotion onto my hands and start massaging his lower back trying to loosen the tense muscles.
“You said my ass is fine.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you did. It’s okay if you did. I don’t mind.”
“Of course, you wouldn’t, because you’re arrogant.” I use the heel of my palm to go in deeper. He doesn’t wince. Damn it!
“I’m not arrogant.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“No, I’m not,” he protests.
“If you say so.” He turns to look at me while I’m working on his lower back. “What?” I ask trying really hard not to keep staring at the tops of his pert ass cheeks.
“You think I’m arrogant?”
“Do you want the truth or a lie? I’m fine with whichever you want to hear.” I stop for a second to squirt more lotion on my hand.
“I’m not arrogant.”
“Okay.” Yeah, he is.
“I’m not.” I roll my eyes and slightly shake my head. “I’ll prove it to you, ask me anything.”
“I don’t have to ask you anything, Alec. You’ve been overbearing, and you’ve shown me an attitude of superiority. I bet you haven’t ever complimented a woman for anything beyond her looks.”
I’m met with silence. Finally, he starts making a sound that loosely resembles an answer. “I...”
I leave it for a moment, waiting for him to form some type of coherent sentence. And when he doesn’t, I say the only thing I know is true. “So, I’ll add shallow to arrogant.”
“I’m not arrogant,” he says again.
“You’re admitting to being shallow. Good for you. They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.”
“Hey, you’re judging me for liking women who look a certain way. I bet you like your men to look a certain way too.”
“I don’t choose looks over substance. Unlike you.”
“You’re quite judgmental for someone who thinks I’m arrogant.” I press harder into his lower back, and he flinches beneath my touch. “You don’t like being called judgmental?”
“You know nothing about me, Alec.”
“I know you have a brother who’s a drug addict.”
I stop working on him, and squat down beside him so he can see my face. “You saw a glimpse of something and you think you know me.” I scoff as I stand. “You have no idea.”
“I’ve been trying to talk to you about it, but you’re so closed off that you refuse to give me anything.” He pushes up from the bed, and swings his legs onto the floor, his casted leg sticking out further than his other leg. “Give me something so I can understand.”
“Why? So you can sit there and laugh at me, or judge me, or try to fix me? I don’t need any of that, especially from you.”
“I won’t laugh at you, or judge you, or try to fix you.”
“Then why is it important for you to know what’s going on with my life. Why do you care? We’ve established that this,” I stop talking and gesture around my body. “Is not what you like because we both know I’m not your type. We have no other relationship outside of me being here to help you get back to work. Again, tell me, why it’s important for you to know anything about me?”
He stares at me blankly for a moment. “You think I find you unattractive?”
“Your exact words were: you’re judging me for liking women who look a certain way. I don’t fit your mold, Alec; I break it. I’ve got hips, and thighs, and boobs. I can almost guarantee, the women you find attractive don’t look anything like me.” He narrows his eyes, and drops his gaze for a moment. “Yeah, I thought so.” I walk over to pick up my bag so I can get out of here before I burst into tears. It’s hard enough not knowing where Jordan is, but I also have to be in a room with a man I can’t take my eyes off of, who finds me ugly.
“Where are you going? We’re not finished yet.”
I swing around to look at him, and lift my finger before lowering it and stepping backward. Tears are brimming my eyes, and my breath is caught in my throat. “Yeah, we are.”
I turn again, and head straight to the door. I reach for the handle, but Alec’s strong arm slams the door shut from behind me. He pins me against the door with his body, his erection pressing into my lower back. “You send me fucking crazy, Serena. I can’t think of anything but you.” His mouth sucks on my earlobe before he pulls it with his teeth and nibbles.
Closing my eyes, I steady myself against the door. “We’re not suited, Alec. I’m not what you want.”
“But you’re what I fucking need. I breathe you, Serena.” He snakes his hand around to my stomach, and pulls me back into him. “Tell me you want me too,” he whispers then peppers hard, fast kisses down the column of my neck. I tilt my head, giving him access and allowing him to kiss the tingling, heated skin down my neck. “Tell me.”
“I...” I’m lost for words. He’s an enigmatic force and he makes my head spin every time he’s near. He thrusts into my butt as he slips his hand under my t-shirt and into the cup of my bra. I groan when he teasingly pinches, and tugs on my erect nipple. “Alec, please,” I beg.
“I need you to tell me you want me as much as I want you.” He pinches my nipple again, and I angle my body closer to his.
There’s a strong flutter in my belly, and an even stronger sensation of desire between my legs. “Stop,” I say in a small voice. Alec pulls his hand out of my bra, and steps back. Leaning my forehead on the door, I steady myself and take a few deep breaths. I can’t allow myself to have feelings for him. It’s not healthy or professional. Straightening my shoulders, I lift my chin up, but refuse to turn to look at him. “I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Serena, don’t go,” he demands as he closes me in against the door again.
If I don’t get out of here now, I know I’ll end up sleeping with him. I turn to look him in the eyes. His look is hungry as his gaze fixates on my lips. He brings his hand to my face, and gently he skims the back of his fingers across my cheek before running the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip. My stomach is in knots, and my breath is heaving rapidly. “We can’t,” I say trying to form an argument.
“Because you don’t want me?” He trails his finger down the front of my throat. God, I love his possessive touch.
“Because you’re my client.”
“I don’t care.”
He moves his face closer to me, and licks my bottom lip with a hard, controlled stroke. I squeeze my legs together, trying to create friction where I’m desperate to be touched. “Please, I can’t do this,” I beg while shivers take over my body.
He steps away with both hands in the air. Closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath. “Look at me,” he says with a low measured tone.
Opening my eyes, I find myself teary. “My life is anything but easy, and right now, I’m barely keeping it together.” My smile wavers as I press my lips together. There’s no pros or cons to whatever it is that’s happening between us. “I simply can’t do this.”
“Let me in, Serena. Talk to me. Let me help you, let me take some pressure off.”
I let out a humorless chuckle and softly shake my head. “Having sex with you will only destroy me, Alec.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I’m the type of woman who’d give her soul for the right man. And you’re the type of man, who wouldn’t give a shit about my soul if it wasn’t packaged in a size zero dress. And I ain’t a size zero; more like a twelve.” It’s right at this moment, that his eyes take in my body from the neck all the way down to my feet. “Yeah,” I say. “I thought so.” Turning, I walk out of his room with tears in my eyes, and my breath caught in my throat. I hate that judgmental stare he gave me. I’ll never be anything other than what I am, and I refuse to be fat-shamed by someone so shallow.
“Serena, are you okay?” Elise asks as I walk past her in the dining room.
I try to plaster a fake smile on my face, but I think the tears falling have given me away. “Yes, I’m done. I’ll see you next time.” I don’t hang around for her to say anything. Instead, I rush out to my car and get the hell out of here.
Driving to the hospital where I work, I park on the street and lower my head to the steering wheel, just bursting into tears. My life at the moment is made up of stress, anguish, and uncertainty. My meditations are only masking the real problems.
Soon I’ll be out of the cheap housing I’ve been living in, trying to save everything I can. Jordan has disappeared, and all I know is that he may be dead somewhere. The man I’ve been trying to help get back to work has somehow managed to crawl his way under my skin and stay there. And I don’t have a minute to think about any of this, because I’m working my ass off to get my brother into rehab. Not to mention, I’m so fucking tired.
There’s a knock on my window, and I startle. Looking up, I see Alec’s brother Dean standing beside my car. I wipe my eyes before getting out of my car. “Hi,” I say as I look around suspiciously.
“I thought it was you, Serena. How are you?” he asks.
Tired. Frustrated. Terrified. “I’m well, thank you.” I look around again. “Are you okay?” I point toward the hospital.
“Ah, yeah. Just some routine stuff.”
“Oh, right.” I smile, but this is turning awkward quite fast. “I just came from your brother’s,” I say trying to muster some type of conversation to get rid of the weirdness.
“I’m sorry about him. He was dropped on his head as a child.” I laugh out loud. “By me. Although, technically that would be difficult because he’s only ten months younger than me.”
“Ten months?” Wow, really?
Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. He looks closer to Rhett’s age than mine. It’s a running joke in the family. But, yes.” Dean’s lightened my mood. “You know,” he says. “Alec’s been so frustrated with himself since he got hurt. He thought the garage door falling on his leg was his fault, something that he could have avoided. But it wasn’t. And since then, he’s been a moody bastard.” So he’s not always such a dick? “He blames himself.”
And he’s taking it out on me. “Thank you, it’s helpful to know he’s not always like he is now.”
“He’s a perfectionist, and he...” Dean looks around before continuing. “He has a...” he pauses again. “He...he’s a good guy, Serena.” Is he trying to set us up?
“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time he’s an asshole toward me.”
Dean winces and lowers his gaze for a second. “Okay.” He steps back further. “I’ll let you go.”
“Yeah, thank you.” Dean walks away, but it’s left me questioning so much. I know Alec and Dean are brothers, but why would he tell me what he did? There’s a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have to push Alec out of my mind, because right now, I need to get Jordan the help he needs. And the only way I can do that, is by making the thirty-five thousand I need to send him to that rehab center.
Everything else can wait.
Including Alec.
Who am I kidding though? We’d never work, even if I wanted us to. I’m not his type. Period. Done. Finished.
