The Setup and the Substitute by Jiffy Kate

Chapter 25

Owen

This has beenthe longest road trip I’ve experienced in a long damn time. But it’s not so much the number of days—nine to be exact—but the fact that we lost the majority of the games, putting us three games back in our division.

It might not sound like much of a deficit, but seeing as how we were leading by three a week ago, it sucks. Not to mention, we’re only two weeks away from the All-Star break and it’s a team goal to go into it at five hundred, if not better.

If we want a shot at playing in the postseason, we have to dig deep and pull it together.

But right now, all I can think about is getting home, spending time with my kids, and then burying myself in Sophie.

She gives me peace like I’ve never known. We talk and FaceTime a lot while I’m on the road. It's great, but it’s nothing compared to being in her arms. When I told her I never want to sleep alone again, I meant it. The emotions and realizations that lie behind that confession scare me, if I’m being honest, but I can’t deny my feelings for her. They’re real and big and growing more and more every day.

As my driver pulls up next to my house, I thank him and step out.

Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and quickly make my way up the sidewalk, breaking into a jog as I near the front door.

“Owen.”

That voice stops me in my tracks. As I turn back toward the road, my whole world tilts on its axis.

“Lisa?”

She gives me a sheepish grin and a half wave as she jogs across the street. Her dark hair, the same color as Ryan’s, sways as she moves. Her petite frame is smaller than the last time I saw her, but not sickly. She looks good, better than the last time I saw her… almost two fucking years ago.

“What are you doing here?” My words have bite to them and she draws back like I slapped her, but she doesn’t retreat, just shrugs her shoulders and takes another step forward, bringing her within reaching distance.

Inhaling, she turns toward the house and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “I came to see you… and the kids. I miss you.”

“You left with a note and no forwarding address,” I accuse.

Her eyes find mine and for a moment neither of us says anything, time stands still as I try to read everything passing through them.

Is she clean?

Where has she been and why is she here?

“I’m clean,” she answers my unspoken question, knowing that would be the first thing on my mind. “When I left, I went to California.” Pausing, her gaze drifts back to the house before continuing. “A friend of mine out there got me into a rehab facility. I was there for six months and then…”

“Then, what? You didn’t think you should call or try to find out where your children were… if they missed you? If they were okay? Did you ever once stop to think of anyone but yourself?” The questions feel just as bitter on my tongue as they sound. I’m trying to hold back and not raise my voice. I don’t want Sophie or the kids to hear us out here, but it’s hard.

Two fucking years.

And now, after… God, I’m finally happy and finding a part of myself I thought was dead and gone. And now she shows back up. “What do you want?”

Tears well up in her eyes and she brushes one away as it falls down her cheek. “I, uh…” Clearing her throat, she squares her shoulders and presses her lips together, but I can’t tell if these emotions are real or if she’s putting on a show for my benefit. “I was working on myself… trying to get better, so I can be a good mom.”

Her voice cracks and she swallows.

My heart breaks open a little at that admission and I hate her for it. I hate that she still has this effect on me. After all these years and all this time… all the heartache and disappointment… I still care about her and her tears still get to me. I can feel her pain, whether it’s coming from the right place, I don’t know, but I can feel it.

“That’s all I ever wanted,” she says after a few quiet seconds pass. “I wanted to be a good mom and for Molly and Ryan to look at me the way they looked at you. God, Owen.” She shakes her head, looking back up at me from under dark, tear drenched lashes. “You should’ve seen the way they’d light up the second they heard your key in the door, even as babies. They just knew… knew you were home and you were going to take care of them and love them in a way I never could. I couldn’t compete with that.”

“It wasn’t a competition.” My voice is low due to the ache in my throat as buried emotions try to force their way to the surface. “I told you that time and time again. It was just me and you doing our best and one of us picking up the slack when the other couldn’t. I never once made you feel like you weren’t enough.”

She hugs her slight arms around her waist. “I know… you were another reason I had to leave. I couldn’t continue to disappoint you.”

“How did you find us?” I ask. “I’ve talked to your family. None of them knew where you went either. Your mother made it sound like they hadn’t spoken to you. So, how—”

“I knew you were in New Orleans. I followed your trade. When I felt like it was time to come home, I called my parents and they gave me the address.”

Home.

There are things she’s not saying, but I get hung up on that one word.

Is this still her home?

When I first moved here, maybe it was. Maybe I’d left the proverbial door open for her. But now, I don’t know. I’m not sure where Lisa fits into our lives anymore.

“I want to see my kids,” she says with strength and conviction I haven’t heard from her in a long time.

“Our kids,” I correct.

My kids.

She holds her ground, her eyes locked on mine as she stands there like a force to be reckoned with. This side of Lisa is one I forgot existed. It went away with years of drug abuse and secrets, hiding parts of herself from me, and living a second life.

“I want to talk to them first, explain things. I’ve been gone and…” I exhale, turning toward the house. I need time with them… time with Sophie.

“When can I see them?”

Turning back to her, I see the disappointment.

“I’ll call you tomorrow. Do you have a hotel room? A place to stay?”

She nods. “I’m at the Sheraton on Canal. Room 918.”

“I'll call you.”

After a few moments, she turns and walks back to her car, glancing over her shoulder a couple times, like I might change my mind. But I don’t.

When she’s gone, I walk to the door and place my hand on the wood. Five minutes ago, I wanted nothing more than to engulf myself in everything that’s on the other side.

Now, my feet feel like lead.

Indecision and trepidation lay heavy in my gut.

On one hand, I know Molly and Ryan will be excited to see their mother, Molly especially. And even though Ryan doesn’t have real memories of her, he’s still missed the idea of her. But I can’t help feeling like I’m setting them up for even more heartache. Lisa’s never been good at following through. I think her intentions are good, but she’s always been ruled by her addiction.

Before I can unlock the door, it opens and Sophie’s beautiful face is there with Ryan peeking out from behind her.

“Daddy!” He throws himself into me and I catch him, wrapping my arms around him in a hug. “You’re squishing me,” he says with a hearty laugh that’s music to my ears and balm to my soul.

“Sorry, buddy.” Leaning back, I just look at him for the longest moment and then kiss his cheeks that are still round and chubby.

Molly’s looked the same once, but she’s already changing.

Soon, Ryan will too.

“Were you just standing on the front porch?” Sophie asks with a puzzled look of amusement. “We thought we heard a car door and then you never came inside.”

She must sense something because her expression changes and she furrows her brow as she cocks her head, silently asking me if something is wrong.

I give her a tight smile and set Ryan back on his feet. “Can you give us a minute, bud?”

After he takes off down the hall and I hear the distant chatter between him and his sister, I pull Sophie into me, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and searching for that calm she brings. When it takes over, I lean into her, inhaling her sweet scent and basking in her goodness.

“God, I missed you.”

When my lips find hers, the kiss is deep. My tongue sweeps inside, begging for more than I’m allowed in the moment. It’s greedy and needy, the way I feel when it comes to her.

“I missed you too,” she says with a sigh, reaching up to cup my stubbled jaw. “Sorry about the losses.” Her eyes search my face, tracing every line as she tries to ease the worry away.

I wish the only thing I had to worry about were the games we lost on the road. As big as that is, it seems insignificant in the wake of current events. I’d give anything to go back to that car and get out, walk to the front door, and erase everything that happened in between. But I can’t erase Lisa and the fact she’s here.

“We need to talk.”

Sophie’s face falls as she pales. I hate it and I want to take it all away—everything—but I can’t.

This is my life.

This is why I hadn’t allowed myself to get involved with anyone before her.

That’s a lie.

I never got involved with anyone before her because they weren’t her.

“What’s wrong?”

Knowing there’s no easy way around this, I drop the bomb that’s been waiting to detonate for almost two years. “Lisa’s back.”

Her eyes grow wide. “What? How?”

“She was waiting for me when I got home, said she’s been in California and that she was in a rehab facility for six months—”

“And what about the other months?” Sophie asks, indignation written all over her gorgeous face. Her nostrils flare and the same fury I felt building is mirrored in her ferocious eyes—vibrant blues turning dark. “Sorry, I know this isn’t my business, but how can she just show back up after all this time? Why didn’t she call or at least try to reach out?”

When she glances over her shoulder, I realize what this is: She’s protecting my children.

And if I wasn’t already falling for Sophie Callahan, I would be now. Whether I like it or not, she’s under my skin and in my heart. The way she cares for Molly and Ryan makes me feel things I can’t even put into words.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “All she said was she was with friends. I need to contact the private investigator I was using and see what he can find out. I want more details than what she gave me and I have a feeling she’s not going to say much more.”

I realize that’s an invasion of Lisa’s privacy, but I have Molly and Ryan to protect, so I don’t really give a shit about privacy.

“I have to tell the kids,” I add, feeling the weight in my gut multiply. “I told her to give me tonight and that I'd call her tomorrow.”

Sophie bites at the cuticle of her thumb nail, something I’ve noticed she does when she’s thinking or worried about something.

Wrapping my arms back around her shoulders, I pull her into me for a long hug.

There’s so much to say and think about but all I really want to do is lose myself in her.

When the patter of feet start down the hallway, Sophie pulls back and plasters on the smile she reserves for times like this. I wish she didn’t have to do that, but until we talk to the kids, I know it’s necessary. And now that Lisa’s back, it definitely complicates things.

One life-altering moment at a time.

With a quick inhale, Sophie collects herself and turns toward the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in about five minutes,” she calls back over her shoulder.

“Daddy!” Molly exclaims as she hauls ass around the corner. “Look what I made you!”

She holds up a braided bracelet.

“It’s purple and yellow just like the Revelers and it’s for you,” she says, forcing it onto my wrist. “Sophie helped me. I’m making lots. So if you want more, I’ve got more.” Her words come out so fast and her excitement is palpable.

I lean down and kiss her cheek and then the top of her head. “I love it so much, Molls. Thank you.”

Kneeling down in front of her, our eyes meet and she gives me a look that resembles Sophie’s from a few moments ago. My girl, so intuitive. It’s like she can see straight to my soul.

“Sophie made meatballs,” she says, her gaze never leaving mine. “They’re your favorite.”

I laugh, tugging at the braid that’s also like Sophie’s. “Sounds amazing, kiddo.”

“I’m going to make another bracelet. Wanna help me?”

“How about after dinner?”

After I tell you your mother is back.

After I flip your world upside down again.

Part of me wants to hide her and Ryan away and shield them from any future pain, but the other part of me knows I can’t do that. Life will always throw curveballs.

And I can’t keep them from their mother.

That’s wrong on so many levels.

If Lisa truly is clean and wants a fresh start, I can’t deny her that.