Fighting Conviction by Greer Rivers

Chapter Nine

Neal Burgess tapped the file against his thigh as he paced back and forth in his office. He had three minutes and thirty-nine seconds before Officer Willis went on break, leaving the evidence room open for business. It was time. A slow walk and mind-numbing chitchat was all that stood between him and another fix.

He slipped his hands underneath his desk and slid them along the surface to make sure there weren’t any cameras or listening devices. One part of him knew the gesture was paranoid, but the other part knew he could never be too sure. The sheriff had been acting off lately and Neal wouldn’t have been surprised if the bastard had enlisted one of the rooks to spy on him. Officer Brown was definitely one of his little bitches. He was always way too interested in everything.

Satisfied he was alone, Neal shuffled to a pile of files in the corner, a large stack of cold cases that’d been open for nearly a decade. It’d taken nearly a year to compile, but the investigatory work for the file in his hand hadn’t been nearly as difficult. Crimes are easy to solve if you’ve already found the criminal.

Neal bent to shove the dense file underneath the rest and brushed his hands on his pants as he stood back up. When he returned to his desk, he found the drug trafficking case he’d depend on for his next task. It’d been a good haul and it was too bad he hadn’t been in on the raid. He’d gotten good at slipping a few baggies into his pocket before they’d all been accounted for.

Thankfully, the Russians didn’t like competition, and the tip from the boss had made the case open and shut. The defendants probably wouldn’t even request a trial so the evidence wouldn’t be missed.

His head was killing him, but he resisted taking any more medicine until he had his next fix lined up. He pulled out Cici’s prescription bottle and shook it in front of the dim light in his office.

One-two-three-four-five… it’s a close one this time, Cici, but the last bust will do me good through the next few days. Just need enough to wean me off and then I’ll be done for good. I’ll go to that center we talked about.

Holding the file as a shield for his deception, Neal made his way down the halls to the basement evidence room. It was nearly the middle of the night, a pretty slow one, too. Officers had been cutting up since the beginning of the shift. Must be a damn full moon.

The lights in the hallway were brighter than a motherfucker, but when he passed an officer he tried his best to meet their eyes and mimic their greeting, hoping they’d move on without question. He didn’t need witnesses and the fewer people who remembered seeing him go down to the evidence room, the better.

Neal navigated the stairs before he pushed open the door to the office preceding the evidence room and noted there was no one at the messy check-in desk. He grinned at his fortune. While there were a few evidence custodians designated to maintain evidence, Willis was the lazy SOB he’d been waiting for and it looked like he’d even left his post.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, footsteps shuffling over cement echoed from the evidence room and Neal bent his head to flick through the papers in the file. Hopefully the chatterbox would get the hint Neal was too busy to shoot the shit. He’d go on his break and leave Neal to his own devices.

The heavyset officer in question poked his head out of the double doors of the evidence room and waved. “Thought I heard someone else down here. Heya, sir.” He ducked back into the evidence room but continued to shout through the propped open doors. “I was about to go on break, but what can I do ya for?”

“No need to worry ‘bout me, Willis. Just came by to check on a few things for a big case a prosecutor asked me to check out.”

“Oh?” A deep male voice entered the office before the man it belonged to exited the evidence room. “Which one? I can tell them what you find.”

Neal’s mouth fell open. “ADA Aguilar? W-what are you doing here?”

The assistant district attorney stuffed his hands into his pockets, a habit Neal suspected Marco Aguilar believed made him look more approachable. But the man was well over six feet and built like a bodybuilder. Add a suit on top of that, and he was damn formidable.

“Here to check on a case for one of my new prosecutors. ADA Thoms has an evidentiary hearing tomorrow and the defense is putting up a fight.” He cracked a smile and chuckled. “She’s fucking great at her job, but Judge Powell’s also fucking great at hers. I wanted to quadruple check without Thoms thinking I was overstepping. Mum’s the word, gentlemen, if you don’t mind.”

Willis laughed but Neal frowned at the answer, biting his tongue to keep from interrogating the lawyer.

Why would a prosecutor be working so late? Why didn’t the new prosecutor come on her own? Wasn’t it awful convenient Aguilar had stopped by right before Willis went on break?

Something was up.

Should I come back another time? No. I’m down to five. He mentally counted again after envisioning the bottle.A baggie of small white rocks flashed into his mind. The one he kept under his bathroom counter for emergencies. He physically shook his head against the thought. No, we’re not there yet. But there was that one pill I never found in my office…

He huffed out a sigh. One would never be enough to help him get clean. He needed at least a week’s worth and then he’d be golden. The baggie at home had to be a last resort.

Neal felt the weight of the men’s stares on him as he searched for something to say. He was torn between slinging accusations at Aguilar or going back to his office empty-handed.

One-two-three-four-five.

The reminder made his mouth dry and he swallowed to moisten the anxiety parching his throat. There was no other choice, he had to get his medicine right then. Or he’d miss his chance to get better altogether.

Damn Russians. It was all their fault.

He lifted his head to find the men chatting, as if they hadn’t just stared him down like a fucking criminal. They could pretend all they wanted but he knew they’d been eyeing him. He coughed for attention, but ended up submitting to the hacks he’d cultivated from smoking multiple packs a day for over a decade. “I’m, uh, down here for ADA Garcia. We’ve got that case comin’ up.”

“What’s that now?” Aguilar paused from pretending to act preoccupied with Willis. “Oh, right… sure I’ll tell—” Aguilar paused to rub his goatee and shook his head. “Wait, Garcia doesn’t have a case coming up. The drug team’s not on the docket again for a few months. It’s all violent and general crimes up for trial right now.”

Neal’s face grew hot and he tightened his hand into a fist. How—the fuck—dare he question me?

“Calm down, baby. He’s doin’ his job.”

His wife’s voice, the one she’d always used to soothe him while he ranted about work, cooled his burning nerves to a sizzle.

“But you know what?” Aguilar chuckled and pointed at Neal in what might’ve been a playful gesture if Neal hadn’t been watching so closely. “The bastard’s pretty damn thorough. I’m not surprised he’s planning ahead.” He went to sign out on Willis’s evidence room sheet. “He’d also shoot me dead if I tried to handle his case in any way, so I’ll leave you to deal with him.”

Neal nodded and tore a handkerchief from one of his pockets to wipe the sweat he knew was already beading up on his forehead. “Yeah… right. You know how he gets. Y-you have a good night then.”

A pause in the air set Neal’s nerves on fire as Aguilar insisted on staring at him.

“You alright, Burgess? You look a little…” Aguilar waved his hand around his own face for emphasis.

“I’m fine,” Neal blurted out.

The stairwell door behind them all opened and cool air coated Neal’s feverish skin. Willis peered behind Neal and smiled.

“‘Sup, Brown?”

Neal turned to see Officer Henry Brown give an easy grin. “Not much, Willis. Not much at all. What’re y’all up to?”

Brown IS fuckin’ spyin’ on me. I knew it. Sheriff’s one damn sonofabitch.

Neal grunted and nodded, deciding the best course of action was to move on. “I don’t have time for y’all’s gossipin’ like ladies.” He bent to the sign-up sheet but Willis snatched it away farther from Neal’s reach.

“What the hell, Willis? Lemme sign in and do my job.”

“I-I’m sorry, sir. I can’t let you do that. It’s past time for my break now.” The kid made odd jerking movements with his head, but Neal narrowed his eyes, unsure of what the kid was trying to tell him.

“S’alright. I don’t need ya, son. I’ll sign out when I leave.” He reached for the notebook sign-in again but Willis brought it to his chest. “Willis, goddamnit what the fuck?”

“Uh, I-I’m sorry, sir.” Willis’s eyes darted to Aguilar, whose frown had deepened. They returned to Neal, seemingly begging him for something. “I think you might’ve forgotten Sheriff’s policy that an evidence custodian be present with whoever enters the evidence room…” He widened his eyes and flicked his head slightly in the ADA’s direction.

Neal felt his face grow flush again. He hadn’t been prepared to come up with another strategy on the fly. Getting through Willis was supposed to be a breeze. Normally, the man didn’t give two shits about policy, but apparently having a tattle-tale in a suit present was enough to discourage him from swaying away from precinct orders.

“I’ll be back in an hour after my break. Y’all wanna come by then?” Willis was still watching him out the side of his eye as he locked up the evidence room. The officer turned to grab the log and filed it in the cabinet behind the desk, locking it too with another key before tucking the key ring back into his pocket. Paranoid asshole.

Now that he knew the sheriff had Brown spying on him, Neal had to come up with a different way to get his medicine. The station was compromised and he couldn’t be under a microscope while he was detoxing. Maybe it was high time for him to actually take a vacation.

But no, the party was coming up soon. He didn’t know the exact date. No one did until only a few weeks before. Sneaky highfalutin bastards always tried to do their evil in secret. He only knew it was around the same time every year, so he needed to be sharp for it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he’d need his medication now more than ever. Maybe quitting wasn’t a wise choice at the moment.

If Neal demanded to see the drugs now, the ADA would still be there, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. It’d force Willis to follow damn policy for once in his pathetic career and chaperone Neal like a goddamn child. Besides all that, insisting Willis wait to go on his break would be an asshole move, especially since, like Aguilar so helpfully pointed out, the case Neal was using as his ruse wasn’t urgent.

“Sir? Erm, I-I’m gonna go on my break?”

Neal snapped out of the tug-of-war in his mind. After a swift nod, he tightened his lips to hold back his rage against the lazy officer. There was no other choice.

“Th-that’s fine, son. I-I’ll come back later.”

He wouldn’t though. They were already onto this plan. He’d have to come up with a new one.

The relief on Officer Willis’s face was obvious, spineless fuck was probably thankful he didn’t have to do his job. “Great! See y’all, then.” He turned to head in the opposite direction to the basement break room.

Neal did an about face to the stairwell, bumping into Brown’s shoulder before marching his way back to his office.

“Burgess, hold up.” Aguilar slapped him on the shoulder to stop him right before he reached the stairway door. Brown was close behind.

“What is it, Aguilar? I’m busy.”

Aguilar cleared his throat and held the door open, allowing Neal to ascend the stairs first. “It’s just… well, I know the past year has been hard for us all. What with our...” Aguilar looked up the stairwell and lowered his voice. “Special case we’re working on with BlackStone… and of course losing that girl…”

A pin needle poked Neal’s heart. That’s all the pain he ever allowed himself to feel over that situation. The smallest prick so the dam holding back all his regret wouldn’t burst. It was easier to patch over with his medicine in his system.

The kidnappings had caught him off guard. Neal had always known he’d made a deal with the devil when he signed on with the Russians to be his own personal supplier. But when he decided to give up the rest of his life for the sake of moments of guaranteed peace, he’d only known about the drug pushing, not the human trafficking.

His dependency on the Russians dug that girl’s grave. He’d missed blatant signs that could’ve stopped her murder. Maybe if he’d been clean, or maybe if he hadn’t latched on to the first tip they’d tricked him with—the one about Jason Stone being the kidnapper and murderer—maybe the girl would still be alive.

Afterward, he’d been forced to do a sloppy cleanup, burning the girl’s body before the autopsy, and losing the little evidence he’d had his team collect. Under the Russian’s direction, he’d washed the dirt off all their hands, making sure no one ever found out who held the shovel.

He still had to play by their rules for as long as he could and not only to keep his fix. If Neal was ever found out, he wasn’t sure there’d be anything left to bury.

“It’s been a rough year. What’s your point, Aguilar?” Even though it’d only been one floor, the steps were testing his failing heart. Not for the first time, he wondered why the county never fixed the goddamn elevator when the police station had three stories.

“This is my stop,” Aguilar said, poised to go through the exit leading to the parking lot. “I don’t know Burgess. You seem like you might need a break. Take care of yourself, alright? You’ve been doin’ this job a while. But it still takes a toll on us all.” Aguilar waved before exiting outside. His dark eyes had seemed sympathetic, but why would the ADA care?

“Excuse me, sir.” Brown pushed past him to continue up the stairs two at a time as the door closed behind Aguilar. “You comin’ up?”

Neal’s gaze shot up to Brown, already on the next landing. “Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. I’ll be up in a sec. These stairs weren’t meant to be run up, boy.”

Officer Brown shifted his feet. “Aguilar’s right, sir. This job can make us go crazy… Maybe even make us do crazy things.” The rookie’s eyes widened on the last point.

Neal glared up at him and waved Brown off. “Keep your damn nose in your own business, boy. And stay the hell away from mine.”

Neal bent over to catch his breath. The throb of his heartbeat pounded in his chest, up through his neck and head, making his migraine even worse. He had to get in better fucking shape.

Brown’s feet were still at the top of the second landing, shuffling back and forth, as if deciding whether to go up or down. Finally, they chose up and Neal waited until he heard the top floor door slam shut. He inhaled three deep breaths before leaning his back against the cement block wall, barely keeping himself from sliding down.

“What am I gonna do, Cici?” He brought his fingers up to his eyes and massaged them, pushing until the pressure in his head was less than the pain against his eyeballs. The slight shift in discomfort was actually a relief in a way.

The truth made him swallow back the lump of anxiety in his throat that was big enough to choke on. He’d resisted his only other option for as long as he could.

“It’ll be hard to come back from this one, Cees. Once I go over the deep end, I’m not sure how much longer I’ll last.” Neal whispered the words to the ghost that carried him through life.

“I understand more than you know. I love you.”

He blinked back the sting in his tired eyes. Hearing those last three words one more time aloud was something he’d craved for years. Maybe if she were still alive, that would be all he would need. He wouldn’t have to resort to his medicine, the crystal he’d hidden from himself for emergencies, or the Russians. He could be his own man again. Maybe if he’d just listened—

“Neal, don’t blame yourself. I did this. And if I hadn’t, the cancer would have. I was unhappy before you even knew.”

“But what if I’d been a better—”

“I was sick, Neal. It was only a matter of time before it got to be too much.”

She was right. She hadn’t wanted to live, long before the doctors told her she’d have to fight for her life. He had many regrets, but his biggest was that he hadn’t fought hard enough to make her try.