Vik by Belle Aurora

23

Nastasia

Anika satcross-legged and motionless between my knees. I took the plastic bottle and squeezed more of the chemical-scented cream onto the hair before giving it a light brush and saying, “There.” But one alarming look at the comb had my stomach in knots.

It was clean a moment ago, now full of clumps of her hair. The long copper strands tangled around it defiantly.

Her soft, “Thanks,” sounded almost child-like, and when she brought her knees up and lowered her cheek to them, folding in on herself, my stomach knotted at the way her shoulders stuck out in the sharp, pointy way they were.

My dear friend. Why do you suffer so?

“Thirty minutes and we’ll rinse, okay?”

She blinked at me without seeming to really see me at all, and I smiled tenderly, reaching down to run the backs of my fingers gently down her cheek.

When I left her room, my expression fell, and as I made my way to the kitchen to put the trash away, I found Doroteya in the kitchen.

Nerves bundled in my gut. I hadn’t seen her in a little over a week. Not since I’d royally screwed over Vik in a hugely unintentional way. But the moment the older woman saw me, she came forward and took my hands in her warm, aging ones, wearing a motherly smile.

“Nastasia.” She looked me over in a maternal way. “You will eat with us, no?”

And just like that, just as family did, the bedlam I caused was forgotten.

My heart lightened its load as I returned her sweet smile.

“Of course,” I told her, because I never felt happier than when I was at her dinner table, being taken care of in a way my brothers could never replicate.

The love they gave was wonderful but different. It was a harsher style of love. The kind that hurt as much as it nourished. They were hard men, and soft love from hard people was an anomaly.

Doroteya may not have been my blood, but she was my chosen mother figure, and somehow, I felt that meant more. Stuck in my own thoughts, I almost forgot to listen when she spoke. “You wake him up.” My eyes widened as I sluggishly understood what she meant, and just as I began to protest, she spun me around, surged me forward, and patted my bottom dotingly. “Lunch is soon ready.”

With a light push, my feet staggered in the direction of his private quarters, and when I stood stationary at the closed door, I turned my head to see Doroteya nodding. She waved her arms out and said, “You wake him.” She looked down at the small gold watch on her wrist and exclaimed somewhat dramatically, “Is almost middle of day!”

Right. Yeah. Okay.

What was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly nervous?

It was just Vik’s room. At one point, I practically lived in it. God. We spent so many hours together that, at times, Doroteya would call Vik on his cell to beg us to come up and eat.

Those were the days. We were inseparable. Two hearts beating in time.

Regrettably, I turned my back on him when he needed me the most. To be fair, he wasn’t exactly forthcoming with his circumstances. Regardless, I should have known something drastic happened for Vik’s behavior to have changed the way it did.

My biggest problem was pushing people away and then loathing them for leaving. But Vik fought. He made his intentions clear, that he wasn’t going anywhere. That he’d wait for me. And now, I worried I pushed too hard and sent him hurtling in the opposite direction when all I ever wanted was to be his person.

The one he came to with his problems. The one he loved.

The one.

He doesn’t want you, my mother whispered from the depths of hell, and weary as a person hearing voices could be, I closed my eyes a moment, willing her away.

I was getting better at disregarding the intrusions but would be lying if I said the words didn’t hit their mark once in a while. Now being one of those times.

Standing perfectly still, I rubbed absently at the spot above my heart, petting away the dull ache that persisted.

My hand went to the knob, and I turned it slowly, a soft creak sounding as the door extended all the way. I held onto the rail, taking the stairs down. It was dim. I had to squint in order to see. Luckily, the light streaming in from the hall provided a little luminescence, and I managed to make my way down without breaking my neck.

The moment I stepped onto the plush carpet with my bare feet, it hit me right in the solar plexus. I closed my eyes and lifted my nose, the scent of him surrounding me. I took in a deep, satisfying breath, absorbing it to memory.

Sure, it was delicious but nothing like getting it directly from the source. I’d spent many nights with my nose buried deeply into the crook of his neck, pressing light kisses to his pulse, feeling his abs tighten with each delicate peck.

My soft footfalls brought me closer to him, and when I got near enough, I saw him sprawled out in the middle of the bed, his comforter barely covering him at all. He lay on his stomach, breathing evenly, and a wistful smile tipped my lips.

His hair was a mess. His strong arms hugged a pillow tightly. One leg straight, the other bent at a ninety-degree angle.

It was just the way he slept. Always had been, for as long as I’d had the pleasure of sharing his bed. And I found it utterly adorable. My stupid heart found comfort in the fact that while some things had changed, others hadn’t. They might not have been important things, but they were important to me.

Quietly, I lowered myself to the edge of the bed and peered down at his still form. I just wanted to sit there a while. To be near him without argument or jealousy or pride casting a wall between us.

It was always a battle with Vik, even when we were on the same side.

We were explosive, volatile. But when we came together and the fuse lit, the flames spreading, Vik held me just out of reach of the firestorm, protectively, with the assurance I was never to be burned.

And now?

He insisted on being engulfed in the blaze when I had the ability to put the fire out completely.

It was maddening.

My loving gaze rested on his furrowed brow, and on a slow exhale, my expression turned blue. Even in slumber, he couldn’t rest peacefully.

It wasn’t a choice but a compulsion. My hand stretched, and I gently ran my fingers through his hair, hoping to offer some comfort to a man who needlessly wore the weight of the world on his shoulders.

A soft, sleepy sound escaped him. My heart ached, and I pulled back, deciding not to wake him after all. It was clear he needed the rest.

With a quiet sigh, I stood, and at the very moment I moved to walk away, I heard the covers lift. Strong arms rounded my waist, and I yelped as I was dragged down into the warm bed, under the comforter, my back held flush against the wall of muscle that was his chest.

And abruptly, all was right in my world.

After all, being in the arms of the right person could never feel wrong.

Call it a lifetime of growth and love and trust, but immediately, my body submitted to his, soft and compliant.

And then he spoke, his voice rough and sleep-worn. “Where do you think you’re going?”

My smile was small, secret, and when he moved my hair to the side and put his lips to the spot just behind my ear, it felt like it used to feel. Like we were us again. And for a single moment, my heart soared.

I never even tried to fight it. I loved Viktor.

I loved him more than my need to protect myself. I loved him more than any of his issues. I loved him in a way that caused my heart and head to riot. To the point of foolishness. But I didn’t care.

He owned me, heart and soul.

Every road I walked led to him. He was my only path.

Too engrossed by the feel of him, words failed me, and he rumbled, “I was just thinking of you, and now you’re here. Looks like dreams really do come true.”

Oh, come on. Now that was just corny.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, feeling his warm breath at my nape as he snuffled out a quiet laugh.

Wiggling around, I heard his low groan as my bottom brushed against the hardness of his growing erection, and I realized a second too late that he was naked. Deliciously nude.

It shouldn’t have surprised me. Vik hated restrictive clothing.

Restrictive being all of them.

I twisted in his hold, and then I was facing him. Vik blinked through one drowsy eye, the other refusing to open as he continued to fight off sleep. His hands went to my hips, then slid back and lower still until one rested on the curve of my ass, the other unabashedly kneading one round cheek.

My lips parted, and a breathy sigh escaped me. Lord, he made me feel things. The urge to wrap my legs around him was strong, but I fought it with everything I had.

Instead, I took in his face with my attentive gaze, and my brow dipped at his busted lip. I clicked my tongue, and without a second thought, I put tender fingers to the wound and spoke softly, “You’re hurt. Why are you always hurt?”

He hauled me close until our bodies touched. “I’m always hurting somewhere, baby. My head, my heart—” My small breasts pressed to his solid chest, he ground his hips into me, and my lips parted at the delicious feeling of his hard length against my stomach. “—my cock. It’s all relative.”

But I focused on the broken skin at his mouth. “That looks sore.”

“It is. Will you kiss it better?” He leaned in, pursuing my mouth with his pouting lips. “I’ll bet you taste like cherries, or berries, or something sweet.”

I squirmed, put a soft hand to his mouth, and chuckled. “Let me up.”

His brows drew to the middle, and he lifted one large hand to capture my small one. I tried not to writhe, but the feeling of his lips as he brought my knuckle to them and nibbled was almost too much. My nipples beaded. He made a deep, satisfied sound in his chest. “Now, why would I do that, when you feel so good right where you are?”

I don’t know why I said what I said, but I suddenly felt so heartsore that I murmured solemnly, “The last time you were in my bed, you said you missed me.” Vik stilled, motionless, seeming to know more was coming. My tone was butter-soft. The words barely perceptible. “I should have told you I missed you too. Because I do. All the time. I’m sick with it.”

He blinked, his eyes flashing as they roamed my face. I saw a plethora of emotions as his breathing turned heavy. His rumbling voice was unusually soft and did not match the intensity of his gaze. “Gimme that mouth.”

Was it a good idea?

Probably not.

Did I care?

My nether region said no.

I lowered my lashes and teased, “One kiss and you’ll let me up?”

His lusty gaze locked me in place. “If after that kiss you wanna be let up,” he said, sobering, his hooded eyes sweeping my face, “I’m not doing it right.”

Sweet Lord. That sounded like a promise.

My kitty purred.

For a moment, all we could do was stare into each other’s eyes. In his, I saw longing. I wondered what he saw in mine.

Love? Despair? Grief?

Perhaps all three?

The pull of him was too great. I couldn’t help but sway in his direction. And when he met me partway and my lips throbbed with the need to be kissed, I stopped breathing all together. He licked his lips, lifted his hand, and carefully ran his thumb over my pulsing lips in the tender way he always had.

My body warmed and trembled, and he hadn’t even kissed me yet.

Vik gently but firmly grasped my chin between his thumb and forefinger, and I allowed myself to be moved, and then he closed the distance between us, letting his mouth settle over mine.

My heart cried out in joy of meeting its mate.

The kiss was soft and sweet and had my hands sliding up the wall of his chest to snake around his neck. He tilted his head and deepened the connection, the warmth of his mouth consuming me. Using his shoulders as leverage, I pulled myself impossibly close and moaned lightly into his mouth, delighting in the way he surrounded me completely, locking me in, fastening me in place.

Vik’s arms wound around my back, holding firmly as he pressed his hips deeper into mine. Slowly, he moved against me, and the restlessness inside me grew. The feel of his hard length grinding at me had my brows bunching. I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me, and the moment I did, he took the opportunity to run his tongue lightly against mine and thrust harder.

And I was lost to him. Forever and always.

My tee shifted as my hips began to move, his hard cock grazing my bare hip.

It was too much. It wasn’t enough. I didn’t know what I needed, only that Vik was the only person who could provide it.

I panted out, “I need to feel you,” struggling to lift the hem of my tee. Once I lifted it high enough, Vik reached out, and with a single tug of my bra, my breasts were freed.

The moment our bodies met, skin on skin, the intensity of the connection rose tenfold.

Vik groaned, then pulled back a second to growl out, “More.”

With a firm yank, my yoga pants were bunched around my knees. He put his hand flat against my stomach, his fingertips dipping into the elastic of my plain black panties. Slipping under the flimsy material, inside to touch my blazing flesh, the moment I felt him there, my lids fluttered closed.

When next I focused, I found his darkened, hooded gaze on me. He gently rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves, and my face contorted. He grinned knowingly.

This man knew what he was doing. He spent years studying every inch of my body. Finding my every erogenous zone. Discovering every secret, some of which I hadn’t known myself.

He was a master musician, and I was his instrument.

I panted softly as he kept up his attentions, and once that feeling grew, I tried to spread my legs, to feel him closer, deeper, but my pants left no give.

Vik simply said, “Easy, baby.”

It was easy, so easy to give in to his gentle orders and promising caress. That buzzing, restless sensation washed over me. Lips parted, my brow lowered as my hips moved to meet his touch, intensifying the stir.

His head dipped, and he kissed me roughly before he pulled back and uttered, “I’ve got you.”

My pussy tightened.

“Oh God. I need this,” I whispered.

Then it began to pulse.

I’m sorry.

I’m miserable without you.

Give me your stubborn, vicious heart.

I need you. Just you.

My raw, hidden emotions had the blissful sensations deepening.

Vik looked after me, circling my clit, applying the slightest amount of pressure before saying tenderly, “I know you do, kiska. I need it too.”

And when it hit, it hit.

My body went rigid, my face twisted, and my mouth rounded as my orgasm landed like a blow to the torso. My breathing stuttered. I whimpered and squirmed, rocking against the pads of his fingers, and when it got to be too much, Vik circled my back and cupped my mound, allowing me to ride out the overwhelming bliss in my own time.

I had the strangest feeling I would regret it, like I had last time. But as the pleasure faded, all I was left feeling was a light, flowing exhilaration.

Sated, my sleepy gaze went to the man with the golden touch, and when I found him searching my face, his jaw tight, as if he also feared my regret, my love for him overshadowed all else.

Of all the things I could accuse him of, Viktor Nikulin gave of himself what he had to give. No more, no less. And I was one of the lucky few who he offered the majority to.

And, in that moment, it seemed cruel to demand more than that.

He kept his heart guarded, wrapped in barbed wire, and perhaps that was why he couldn’t offer it. So, I would offer him mine in the hopes that my love would help heal him.

He leaned in and touched his lips to my slack mouth, letting it linger. Sliding my hands over his collarbone, down his pecs, farther still past his firm but twitching stomach, I peered down at his angry erection before looking back up. Our eyes met, and when I took the length of him into my hand, he let out a harsh, shaking breath as his body turned lax.

To be able to affect him like this, after all these years, shot a heavy dose of arrogance through me.

My eyes, heavy with lust, locked onto his heated gaze as I started an up and down motion, slow at first, then building up pace. Vik’s stomach clenched, and his lip curled in the same pain-like pleasure I myself had just experienced. His breathing got heavy, and when he spoke, rough and coarse, I faltered in my motions. “Think about you every second of every day. Touch my cock and wish it was your mouth I was fucking instead of my palm.” A needy sound vibrated in his chest. His lids closed, and his face twisted as I renewed my efforts. “Nothing compares, baby. Nothing. It’s you. It’s only you.”

Oh… shit.

His words did things to me. Unspeakable things.

They were a gentle caress against my heart while equally fucking me hard, and my pussy clenched.

He shuddered out an exhale. “I’m close.”

I wanted to please him. I wanted to provide him what he did me. So, as gracefully as I could, I shuffled down the length of his body.

“Where are you going?” he asked, mildly confused.

But I was pretty sure he got his answer when my hand circled his cock and my tongue darted out to lick away the bead of precum that appeared at the head.

“Oh fuck,” he hissed.

And I smiled cunningly, loving the power he gave me with so few words.

His hands came to tangle in my hair just as I lowered my mouth, taking half his length in one mouthful. He tasted so good. Hot, clean, and wholly male. And when I sucked, then retreated before taking more of him into my wet mouth, he looked down at me from under the sheets with a marred brow and pouting lips, gripping the back of my neck, then commenced thrusting lightly against my slick, warm tongue.

Maybe I was alone on this ledge, but I loved to suck dick.

There was nothing that made me feel sexier than looking up into a man’s face while he lost his ever-loving mind over my mouth’s capabilities. And right now, with the way Vik was looking at me, all edgy and restless, I felt hotter than hell.

When his head fell back and he muttered, “Oh shit,” I knew he was close. Then his fingers knotted roughly in the hair at my nape, pulling me back and forth as he thrust keenly into my mouth, and I gathered he only had a short time before he made a hefty deposit down my throat.

His movements turned erratic, and he let out a strained, “Yeah. Take it, baby.”

Seconds later, his body tensed, his hands tightened in my hair hard enough to make me wince, and he stilled, letting out a rough grunt as his cock began to jerk fitfully in my mouth. I tasted the salty bitterness of his cum and somehow calmed tremendously. I swallowed the gift he gave me. His body slackened, and as he fell back into the pillows, he slipped free from my demanding mouth.

I hoped to lay with him a while and bask in the glow of our heated exchange, but from the top of the stairs came, “Uh, Nas?”

Vik’s body went rigid as I blinked in alarm, hastening out from under the covers.

Oh no.

Had Anika heard us?

Her usually sweet voice sounded flat. “I think it’s time to wash my hair now.”

“Coming!” I called out. “Your mom just sent me to tell Vik that lunch is almost ready.”

A quiet pause, then, “Okay.”

Vik’s amused gaze met my wide and startled one, and when he began to chuckle, I blew out a long breath, slipping out from the warmth of the comforter, and worked my pants back up my legs.

We didn’t say a thing. We didn’t need words. We had a mutual understanding of what this was.

It was complex. Difficult. Complicated.

But it was a complication that I needed more than I needed to breathe.

* * *

My hands wetfrom washing Anika’s hair, I took the towel from the rack and covered her freshly dyed hair with it, giving it a light rub. She began to wrap the towel around her ends, then threw her head back. She kept a cool eye on me as I smiled and said, “There. You should be good for another four weeks.”

I wasn’t expecting her unemotional admission. “I love you.”

My body set, my neck twisted to face her. I smiled, although my brow lowered in confusion. I chuckled softly. “I love you too.”

Her chilly demeanor only deepened as she uttered, “But you need to stop playing with him.” I stilled as she went on. “He might not show it, but you hurt him. I worry you’ll do it again without meaning to.”

My chest squeezed.

Well, that settled that. She heard us, all right.

I didn’t know what to say. The truth seemed appropriate. My tone soft, a light shrug tipped one shoulder as I attempted to justify my actions. “I love him, Ani.”

Her eyes flared. Instantly, she spat, “Then act like it.”

And I paused.

Anika had never spoken to me like that. Not ever. And it prickled.

I blinked at her as she glowered at me, and after a moment, her face turned unreadable. All signs of emotion lost. She withdrew back into her void.

My heart began to pound.

I was sick of this. Sick of being lied to. Sick to death of worrying about them both.

“What is going on with you?” I asked gravely. “I know you’re going through some shit, but you’re moody. You’ve lost weight.” I added on a whisper, “Your hair is falling out. Are you…” It was a morbid thought that flashed in my mind. “Are you sick?”

Anika let out a bitter laugh. “I wish.”

She wished she was sick?

I couldn’t even begin to comprehend why she would say that.

My heart ached at her detachment. And I attempted to resolve it. “Hey. What do you say we have a girls’ night? Just you and me?”

Ani lowered her gaze and sniffed indifferently. She stood and walked out of the bathroom, but not before uttering a listless, “No thanks.”

* * *

Doroteya scooped morepasta onto my plate, and when Vik saw the expression on my face, he clicked his tongue and said, “Ma, leave her alone. She’s not hungry.” My cheeks blazed furiously when he added a sly, “She just ate.”

Anika’s fork dropped to her plate. With a bored expression, she pushed up out of her chair, stood, and uttered, “I need to be excused.”

Her retreating back was taut, rigid, and I got the awful feeling that my friend no longer viewed me as such.