Vik by Belle Aurora

25

Nastasia

Much like grief,there were five stages to losing a child you were minding.

First came denial, and as I glanced up from my phone to the little guy who should have been sitting beside me to find his chair empty, I stilled in confusion. My brows lowered as I rose off my seat and muttered, “The hell?”

I swear, he was here a second ago.

Looking around Sasha’s office, like the space around me had magically moved and shifted, allowing for the little boy to hide away, I stood in the open area and, well, did nothing, because where the heck could he have gone?

“He’s not missing,” I muttered to myself as I began to look for him. “He can’t be gone. Where would he go?”

Almost immediately, my eyes snapped to the open door of the office, and my feet moved effortlessly in the heels I wore. I peeked outside the door and called, “Trey?”

No answer.

And so, I began to search. At first, I moved at a normal pace, opening doors as I went with a slight frown pulling at my mouth. A few minutes passed, and I found my anxiety growing. My irritation with it.

Second stage. Anger.

“Where are you, you little maggot?” I snapped, rounding the corner at an almost skid as my nervous gaze flew all over the open floor of the club, but he was nowhere to be seen.

And my temples pulsed.

Who thought it would be a good idea to leave me in charge of another small human?

I had one that I was entrusted to, my niece, but I’d never looked after another. And never a boy.

Why didn’t anyone warn me about little boys?

Now, normally, I loved kids. But this little hurricane on two feet had me wanting to snort a big, fat line of birth control immediately as a preemptive measure.

“Trey,” I called out in a singsong way, leaning far over the front of the bar to see behind the counter. “Where are you?”

As suspected, there was no response.

I stood there. I just stood there as dread settled itself on my shoulders.

You lost her kid.

My eyes widened in alarm.

Birdie was going to be pissed.

I glanced at my phone. We still had two hours before we opened. I had time.

Next, bargaining.

“Trey,” I called out sweetly. “If you come out of wherever you’re hiding, I’ll give you a cookie.”

But my offer fell on deaf ears.

That caused my trepidation to skyrocket.

“Oh shit,” I whispered, getting down on my hands and knees to look under each and every table. No matter which way I turned, the absence of little feet in tiny white sneakers had my breathing turn heavy. “This is not good, Nas. Not good.”

“Uh…”

The sound startled me, and when I looked up to find Vik staring down at me with an undeniable look of confusion on his face, I balked.

“I should ask you what you’re doing down there, but—” His eyes swept over my silver-sequined costume, watching the long, beaded tassels sway about. “—I find I’m easily distracted when it comes to you.”

God. That was sweet.

But I didn’t have time for flirtation. A five-year-old was on the loose in the club.

As I knelt on the hard, cold floor, I held out my hand, and his fingers curled around my own, helping me up. I bent to brush off my knees, then started walking, my eyes darting all over, searching as I went.

Achievement unlocked: Depression.

“Oh my God, I lost him. He’s gone.”

From behind me came Vik’s quietly confused, “What are you talking about?”

Oh, he was following me?

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

“Um,” I began, strolling back down the hall. “You wouldn’t happen to have seen Birdie’s son, Trey? Little dude. About this high.” I held my hand up to my upper thigh. “Dressed in blue jeans and a black tee. Spiffy white sneakers. Sweetest face you ever saw.”

“No,” he drawled. “Why?”

“I—” I whimpered softly, wringing my hands together. “—may have misplaced him.”

Vik remained quiet for a little while. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.”

I spun on him, damn near hyperventilating, and tapped my chest lightly as I whispered desperately, “Help.”

He sobered. “You’re not joking.”

I shook my head frantically, and he came forward, instantly going into adult mode. “Where did you see him last?”

“Sasha’s office. He was there one second, and the next, he wasn’t.”

“And where have you looked?”

What a question.

“Everywhere,” I ground out.

Vik put his hands to my shoulders. “He can’t have gone far. It’s okay. We’ll find him. There’s only so many places he could be.” He lifted his head in thought. “Did you check the janitor’s closet?”

“Yeah.”

“The storage room.”

What did he think I was, an amateur? “Yesss.”

“The bathroom.”

“Ye—” I stopped. No, I hadn’t.

Vik must have seen the light in my eyes return, because he ordered, “You check the ladies’; I’ll get the men’s.” And then we were rushing off in opposite directions.

I collided with the door, causing it to swing open with a bang. My eyes shot all over. I opened every stall, one by one, until there were none left to check. And my heart sank. So, when I rushed out to find Vik standing just outside the men’s room wearing a frown, I reached it.

The final stage. Acceptance.

With a solemn nod, I uttered, “Well, he’s gone. She’s just going to have to love her other children harder and never, ever trust them to another person so long as she lives.”

But then Vik reached out, pushing the door open a sliver. And I heard it.

Singing. The little voice went, “He’s got the whole world in his hands,’ only stopping to strain loudly, causing my face to bunch in revulsion.

Vik grinned. “He’s taking a dump, crooning his little heart out.”

Sure. Of course, he was.

My heartbeat slowed.

Another strain. That couldn’t be good. Somewhat concerned, I whispered, “He needs more fiber in his diet,” and Vik chuckled up until the moment he spotted my shaking hands.

He quickly lost his laughter, and when his pensive eyes met mine, he opened his arms to me. “Come here, baby.”

I went without hesitation, moving in close and pressing my nose to his collarbone. He folded his muscly arms around me and held me tight as I, without shame, inhaled deeply, taking in his spicy male cologne.

“He’s okay,” Vik murmured.

Yes, he was. But was I?

“Thanks for helping” was all I could think to say, because everything else I felt right then was not something I could put into words lightly.

A comforting squeeze. “Yeah, well, we make a good team.”

The way he said it had me pulling back slightly to peer up at him. What I found was a tired man with a worn soul, and it shattered me. Particularly when he lifted one rough hand to push a loose hair behind my ear and spoke directly to my weakened spirit, “I meant what I said. You take all the time you need.” His bent his head to speak closer to my lips. “It’s killing me, but I’ll be right here, waiting.”

Right at that moment, my stomach lurched, and it wasn’t from the sweetly spoken words.

I frowned, placing a gentle hand to my belly.

It pitched again.

Lifting a hand, I covered my mouth just in time to smother a gag.

“You serious?” Vik’s brow pulled down. “I’m pouring my heart out over here.”

I pushed away from him as the feeling returned and mumbled a panicked, “Oh my God.”

“Oh shit. You’re not faking,” he uttered in surprise, straightening as I rushed away, slipping on my heels, very nearly rolling my ankle.

Heaving, I made it to the bathroom with barely a second to spare. The moment I hit the first stall, I followed through on the gag, losing the contents of my stomach in one go. I knelt over the bowl, salivating endlessly, spitting into the porcelain bowl. It smelled heavily of cleaning supplies, and that was not helping.

The door shot open, and I heard him ask, “Nas? You okay in there?”

“No,” I grumbled, spitting again and again. The door of the stall wobbled, and even though he couldn’t see me, I lifted my hand and warned, “Do not come in here.”

Another gag had my eyes watering, but this time, nothing came out.

The sound of the bathroom door swinging open sounded.

Great. Just great. More people.

“Is she okay?” This was Mina. She then called out, “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

But my head was swimming.

Vik responded for me. “She’s okay. Just watch the kid for me, will ya? His dad will be here soon.”

“Okay,” she said sadly as the door closed lightly behind her.

The cool floor looked so inviting to my overheating body that I wanted to lie flat on the tiles, but I refrained, because… germs.

“I’m just gonna sit right here until you feel better.” I heard the stall next to me open, the lid of the toilet close, and then his black Diesel boots could be seen from under the door. I had the odd compulsion to reach out and touch them. “Then I’m taking you home.”

I couldn’t very well argue. I mean, I tried, but it came out in the form of a long groan and many little splutters.

A few minutes passed, and Vik asked gently, “Feeling better?”

A loud burp escaped me, and I let out a weak sounding, “Yep.”

With a heavy sigh, Vik stood, left his stall, and approached mine. “Yeah, no.” The door opened slowly, and when I blinked up at him, woozy and perspiring, his eyes gentled. “Come on, tiger. Let’s get you home.”

I nodded but made no move to stand.

Vik’s eyes washed over my reddened face. His nose bunched, and he uttered, “You got a little—” He tapped on his chin. “—right there.”

Vomit on my chin? Cool. Because why not?

Well, this day was perfect. Just perfect.

I took some tissue and wiped my mouth. Without daring to look at him, I held up one heavy arm, and Vik helped me stand. He kept his hold on me, around me, as he walked me out of the bathroom and onto the main floor.

The moment Anika saw me, she dashed out from behind the bar, took a long look at me, and spoke softly, “Oh, Nas. You poor thing. You look awful.”

Nice.

But relief rushed through me at her apparent concern. I guess we were still friends.

Mina sat at a booth with Trey, and when the little boy saw me, he looked at my sparkly, revealing costume and said brusquely, “I like your pajamas.”

My Lord.

It was so cute that I swallowed past the thickness in my throat and muttered, “Thanks. I like 'em too.”

Sasha and Lev walked into the room together, and with a single glance my way, Sasha peered at my cold, sweaty self and exhaled a slightly irritated, “Well, you’re useless to me now.”

God. He could be a real jerk sometimes.

“Go eat a di—” And then I remembered the little boy only a few feet away. “A banana.”

“Funnily enough,” Lev began, “you should eat a banana.”

Excuse me, sir?

He did not stop at my glower. “Bananas contain potassium. Potassium increases mucus production—”

“Jesus. Don’t say mucus, Lev,” I shuddered, holding my tender stomach.

“—which protects your stomach lining. They’re a natural antacid and can help relieve symptoms of indigestion,” my brother finished helpfully, looking rather pleased with himself.

Ugh.

These people.

“Whatever. I’m going home,” I grated out through the soreness in my throat and leaned into Vik for support.

Anika handed me my purse, and the man beside me walked me out back, to his sensible silver sedan. My cheeks flushed a delicate pink. I was feeling super sorry for myself as we made the short ride home. Relief washed over me when Vik turned off the car and began to walk me inside. I didn’t want to be alone.

Vik did everything right. He brought me upstairs, washed my face, helped me change, then put me to bed, tucking me in and making sure I had both water and a bucket by my bedside. I was beginning to feel the twinging pain in my stomach lessen when he said words that made my gut sink.

“Rest up. I’ll come check on you tomorrow.”

“Wait.” My heart clenched. I lifted my head off my pillow to look at him and let out a small, sad-sounding, “You’re leaving?”

“I…” He hesitated. The bed depressed as he sat down beside me, and he pulled the sheets up to my shoulders, refusing to meet me eyes. “Got a job tonight.”

It came out regretful. Apologetic. Even mildly embarrassed.

Of course he did.

My chest felt tight. “Sure.” I nodded, loathing the way it made my head spin.

He seemed to hesitate a moment. “If I could stay with you, I would.”

“Yeah,” I murmured, not really feeling it.

“If I had the choice”—he looked me in the eye—“I would choose you, Nas. Every time.”

That was the second time he’d told me as much, and I knew he truly believed he would… as he continuously left me.

I forced a small smile I did not feel in the slightest. “I’m feeling a little better now.”

And the relief in his face told me I’d done well hiding my sorrow. “Good. That’s good.” But he continued to look down at my rosy face, refusing to move, clearly at war with himself.

He needs the money.

He has a family to support.

My ego took a beating as I conceded he really did need to go.

“I’m okay,” I reassured him quietly. It pained me to dismiss him the way I was. “I’m…” I swallowed hard around the thickness in my throat. “I’m really tired.”

“Right.” He took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

My heart cracked as I watched his retreating form. When he reached the door, I called out, “Vik?”

He twisted back to look at me.

“Thanks for looking after me,” I said in softly spoken gratitude.

I don’t know why he seemed to be irritated at my appreciation, but he lowered his face and said a somewhat distant, “Feel better, yeah?”

And then I was alone.

Again.

* * *

It wasfunny how eight letters could change your life.

My day had been like any other day. I had fought through the worst of my stomach troubles, ate nothing but crackers and toast, sipping on ginger ale, and felt a whole lot better than I had yesterday.

Every time I thought about food, real food, my stomach churned violently in my gut, so I nibbled here and there, appeasing my belly and avoiding another bathroom catastrophe.

He said he would come, so I wasn’t too surprised when I heard his car pull up out front. What did surprise me was the fact that he used his key, and when he let himself in wearing a wide smile over a bruised chin and semi-swollen nose, well, that did surprise me.

Vik found me in the kitchen, sitting at my table with a hot mug of tea in my hands.

“Hey, baby.” He came around to where I sat, leaned down, and kissed my brow before walking past me. It was so casual that I blinked. “You good?”

My brow furrowed at the sudden change in his demeanor. After all, the night before, he was downright forlorn. My response was drawn out, “Better.”

His body hung out of my fridge. “Nice,” he uttered, taking out a soda and opening it before coming to sit opposite me with a happy beam. “See? I knew it was nothing serious. All you needed was a good yak.”

“Right.” I couldn’t have helped the way my eyes narrowed on him if I tried. “You know, for a guy who looks like a beat-up turd, you seem really pleased.”

“Do I?” He blinked innocently.

“Yeah, you do,” I muttered, lifting my tea to my lips and blowing on it before taking a sip. “Don’t get me wrong; it’s nice to see you like this, but it has me wondering, is all.”

“I just…” His expression was purely joyful. “I just have to tell someone.”

Okay.

He licked his lips, looking about as nervous as I’d ever seen him. Reaching into his back pocket, he took out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me. I eyed it curiously before I chanced another longing glance at the man I loved. He jerked his chin toward the paper, and I took it, my nimble fingers unfolding the printout. I read the words slowly, carefully, shuffling to sit up properly as a small smile graced my lips.

“Vik,” I breathed out, awestruck, looking up to find him smiling proudly.

“I got accepted.”

He sounded as though he could hardly believe it himself. And I hated that.

This man… this beautiful man… he was worth everything. He deserved it all. This strong, selfless man, who gave me the world with a kiss and buried me with those same lips.

“So,” he began, and I looked up into his anxious face. “What do you think?”

My silence was completely unintentional.

His smile fell slightly. “Baby,” he said in that way that slayed me each and every time. “Should I do it?”

Should he do it?

He was asking me as though my opinion was the only one that mattered, and though that warmed my frigid heart like nobody’s business, this just added to his already full plate. I knew that with this newest commitment, something else would have to be scraped off.

Likely me.

The seconds passed slowly, and still, he watched me, wanting my approval. Craving it.

I swallowed through the pain. “Yeah.” Blinking, I forced a smile and shook myself out of my stupor. A little more enthusiastic this time. “Yes. Of course you should do it, Vik.” The words sounded strained to my ears. “This is an amazing opportunity. Y-You have to do it.”

I wondered if they sounded strained to him.

His wide, comforted smile told me it hadn’t. “I’m a little shook but kind of jazzed. Between work and everything else, time is gonna be an issue. Classes run during the day, and the best part is that majority of the work can be done online at your own pace, so I can still manage…”

He went off on a tangent, but I couldn’t hear the words over the blood rushing through my ears. So, I gave him my smile, my attention, and my reluctant approval.

I held in my heartbreak for close to forty minutes, up until the time he stood, then pulled me up and into his arms, his embrace silently thanking me for being there for him. I closed my eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of him, taking comfort where I could.

Numb to the core, I watched him go, and it took me a second to realize I’d been standing alone in the foyer a lot longer than necessary.

When I came back to earth, I made my way up the stairs and into the bathroom, where I picked up the blue-and-white stick, staring down at the eight little letters that had already changed my life.

Positive.