Tempting Him by Isabel Lucero
20
If he feelsany sort of awkwardness, he doesn’t show it, then again, why would he? It’s not like he’s the one with intimacy issues. He’s probably not dwelling on the strange kiss we shared. Did we share a kiss if I technically didn’t reciprocate? Is he angry about that?
Regardless of how he feels, I can’t stop thinking about it. His lips were soft and gentle as his hand cradled my face. It felt...nice. However, my body was tense the entire time. Now I can’t stop contemplating how that should’ve gone. I should’ve kissed him back. What’s my dad gonna call me now? Nothing. He can’t.
Is it smart, though, to break down those walls when you know it’s not going anywhere? He’s young and deserves to enjoy dating and fucking around. He can’t tie himself to me. And how would I look? A man near his father’s age dating him? Plus, I’m leaving. It wouldn’t behoove me to give into any indulgences.
As I war with myself, fighting between shoulds and should nots, rights and wrongs, decisions of the heart versus decisions of the mind, Jay clears his throat.
“You okay over there?”
I glance at him flipping through the room service menu. “What’s that? Oh. Yeah, I’m fine.”
He gives me a look that lets me know he doesn’t believe me. “Mmhmm.”
Moving from the kitchen where I down a glass of water, I sit at the table that’s become my workstation, my legs bouncing before I’m up and walking toward the TV. I feel agitated and restless. My body moves as fast as my mind is racing, and I can’t sit still.
After a few minutes, Jay closes the menu, and the loud noise of his hand landing on top of it pulls me from my thoughts.
“What the hell’s going on with you?”
“Nothing, what are you talking about?” I reply in a defensive tone.
“After we finished fucking, you’ve hardly spoken two words to me. You ignored me as we washed up, threw some clothes at me without so much as a glance in my direction, and now you won’t stop pacing.”
His words hit me in the gut. I hadn’t realized I had come off so dismissive, but it’s not surprising. My fear and underlying issues rear up, taking over any logical or reasonable thought process. Where I should assure him it’s nothing to do with him, I lash out.
“I thought you said you didn’t need rose petals and candles. I thought you said you didn’t catch feelings, and now here you are wanting me to, what? Cuddle you? Whisper sweet words in your ear?”
His anger flares as he stands up, his jaw clenching as his fists do the same at his side. “I don’t need those things, but I’m also a fucking person.”
“You’re here for me to fuck. The dinners and swimming were never supposed to be part of the deal.”
He takes a few steps, bringing him closer. “You’re the one who asked me to look at menus and order food. You’re the one who offered to have lunch in the office. I made you swim, but it was you who said it was fun. So, what the fuck are you talking about?”
I shake my head, running a hand through my hair as I walk around him. “It doesn’t fucking matter. It’s done. We cannot have this weird psuedo fucking relationship. Sex. It was only supposed to be sex. No feelings. No emotions, No attachments.”
Jay follows me. “Well, you’re being really emotional about it right now. Must have some sort of feelings that are making you act that way.”
I spin around and face him. “You’re a fucking kid.”
His nostrils flare and I know I’m poking the bear. His fury is boiling beneath the surface.
“You seem to enjoy fucking this kid.” I grimace, hating the words as soon as they leave his mouth. “You know, Alek, you’re so caught up on this age thing you seem to forget I’m bigger than you.” He prowls forward. “Do I look like a kid to you?”
I swallow, trying to keep my anger in place, refusing to allow lust in the picture. “You may weigh more, but you’re still the one bending over for me.”
That’s it. That’s the comment that makes him snap. His eyes flare, his chest heaves, and every muscle in his body tenses. He storms toward me.
“Are you trying to say because I let you fuck me that that means something? What are you insinuating here, Alek? Huh? I’m soft? I’m less masculine than you because your dick has been in my ass? There’s a problem with that way of thinking, but I’m not here to educate you. But if you think fucking me makes you less gay, let me tell you…” He chuckles, but it’s laced with anger and lacks any sort of happiness.
“You’re being ridiculous,” I say with a scoff.
“Am I? You won’t kiss, let me fuck you, or suck my cock. Is it because you’re afraid you’ll like it? Do you think that by having these rules you’re not fully succumbing to your gayness?”
“Fuck off.”
Another venomous laugh leaves his lips, and this time he inches closer, coming behind me and forcing me between him and my desk.
“You want me, Alek, but you’re scared. Admit it.”
“I’m not fucking scared,” I bite, trying to spin around.
He forces me back in place, pinning his body to mine. His mouth finds my ear. “Let me tell you a secret.” His hands land on my hips. “Bending over for a man doesn’t make you soft.” He pushes his hands into my loose, lounge pants, his fingers pressing into my thighs. “Sucking a dick doesn’t make you any less of a man.” One hand wraps around my cock and I moan at his touch. “By suppressing who you are, you’re suppressing your pleasure.”
He licks and then bites my neck, squeezing my dick in his hand before giving it a languid stroke. “Jay.” I struggle to say his name with any sort of control. It comes out in an airy whisper.
With lightning speed, his hands come out of my pants and go to my back, forcing me to bend over the desk. His hips piston forward, letting me feel his cock on my ass. In a panic, I push up off the wood, trying to stand up straight, but he uses his strength and pushes me back down.
“Jayden,” I growl.
He tugs my pants down, and because I didn’t put on underwear after my shower, I’m left exposed to him. His fingers dance over the curve of my ass cheeks, causing me to suck in deep breaths. I want him to stop, and I want more.
I can’t see what he’s doing, but a shift behind me has me angling to look. Before I can get a glimpse, I feel his cock against my skin. He rests his heavy erection on top of my ass, guiding down between my cheeks. He doesn’t ever try to penetrate, he’s just teasing.
A groan escapes my throat as I grip onto the edge of the table. My breaths come faster and louder.
“Feels good, doesn’t it?”
A gentleness I don’t deserve is granted via a soft hand rubbing up my back, all while his cock slides between my cheeks. His weight covers me when he leans over, bringing a hand to my mouth.
“Spit.”
Desire, fear, and annoyance at using my own actions against me swirl amongst each other, but I spit in his hand and he must use it to coat his cock, because I feel the wetness of the erection between my cheeks again. He moves, fucking me without actually fucking me, squeezing my cheeks together for friction against his dick. It’s a tease and my cock throbs.
Jayden grunts and pants behind me, using my body for his own pleasure. I moan and squirm, wanting more. Needing more. I’m not altogether sure I’m ready for him to fuck me, but right now, I need something. I just refuse to ask for it.
“I knew you’d like it,” he moans. “You have no idea how good I’d give it to you.”
A fucking whimper slips between my lips. I almost say, do it. Give it to me. But I clamp my mouth shut.
“You want to feel me deep inside you, don’t you?” he asks, still moving. Still tormenting me with his dick. “I know you’re curious. You want to know how good it could be.” He moans. “You want my cock filling your mouth, don’t you?”
He steps back, his fingers replacing his cock, sliding through the crevice of my ass, barely pressing against my hole. Using his other hand, he yanks me back, allowing himself room to grab my erection.
The smear of my pre-cum over my crown has my face flushing. I’m so turned on, and there’s no way to deny it.
He groans low in his throat as he strokes. “Tell me you like it. Tell me you want all those things.”
An orgasm is building, and he’s doing just enough to keep it on the edge, but not enough to push me over. I’m desperate, pushing against the finger near my asshole, fucking the hand around my cock.
“Yes!” The word is ripped from me. “Yes, I fucking want it, are you happy now?”
He stops touching me altogether, moving away. I get up and spin around, my eyes wild as I look at him. He’s pulling his pants back up, so I do the same.
“And that doesn’t make you less of a man. Being a selfish asshole does.” He reaches for his keys and wallet, gaze flying to mine once again. “You forced me to be like you. How does it feel to be used?”
“I wasn’t using you!”
“You said I was only here for you to fuck. Just because I came each time doesn’t mean you weren’t using me. You wanted what you wanted and didn’t care about my desires.”
“Then why did you keep coming here?”
He levels me with a look, then shakes his head. “Guess it doesn’t matter.”
“I told you the first night that we were gonna do things my way and my way only. This is my way, Jayden. I was honest with you.”
“Okay, then it’s my fault,” he says. “I guess I was confused by the invitations to share a meal with you, by the bits of yourself you offered at work earlier.”
“I can’t give you what you want. I’m not capable of it.”
He sighs. “It’s fine. I don’t want it. I’ll see you at work on Monday, boss. I’m assuming you’ll be able to keep this and that separate, considering you don’t have any feelings to get in the way.”
He slams the door as he leaves.