Alpha Theo by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Brooke

“How can I go back there?” I mumble, staring blankly at the floor. “I don’t think I can do it…”

“Stop,” Fallon barks, tossing a pair of leggings at me. I look up right as they’re about to hit me in the face, snatching them out of the air.

“You’re way stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’ve got this.”

Fallon’s pump-ups usually work, but not even she can drown out my nagging doubts this morning. I appreciate that she’s trying to be supportive, but she has no idea what I’m going through- her experience with the mate bond was frickin’ perfect, a total dream! I’m still reeling from my own.

I shimmy the sleep shorts that Fallon let me borrow down my hips, kicking them away.

“I don’t want anyone to know, not until I figure out what I’m gonna do,” I grumble, shaking out the leggings and pulling them on. I hold my hands in front of me and Fallon tosses me a t-shirt. I shed the one I slept in, pulling the new one on to replace it.

“Hey, I’m not gonna say anything,” she breathes. “But you can’t hide from this forever, Brooke. You’ve gotta face it, face him. See if you guys can figure things out.”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I know.”

It’s funny, I feel like I just had this conversation with Fallon last full moon, only our roles were reversed- I encouraged her to face Gray and the full moon. It certainly worked out for her much better than this one has for me.

Gray appears in the doorway, knocking on the doorframe with one hand while he holds the other over his eyes. “You ladies decent?”

Fallon giggles, trotting over to him. “Yes.” She rises up on her toes, looping her arms around her mate’s neck. “I was just telling Brooke that she can’t hide out anymore, she’s gotta face this thing head on.”

“Yeah, about that…” Gray growls, winding an arm around Fallon’s waist as he looks over her head in my direction. “Brooke, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Uh oh. My heart drops to the pit of my stomach like I just got called into the principal’s office. It’s that alpha presence- the authority that Gray exudes.

“Sure,” I reply timidly. “What’s up?”

Gray drops a kiss on Fallon’s head, pulling back to look at her. “Baby, will you give us a sec?” he murmurs.

My sister nods, smiling brightly at Gray, shuffling past him out the door. “I’ll be downstairs.”

I hear her start down the hallway as Gray strides over to the bed, sinking down on the edge and patting the spot next to him. He offers me a smile, putting me at ease. I can’t help but smile back as I walk over to join him- he’s lovely, and he’s really leaned into this big brother role that he now plays in my life.

“I know you’re not ready to talk to Theo yet,” he says as I lower myself onto the bed, pulling a leg up underneath me. “But I just felt like I needed to put in my two cents here. You’re my sister now, but Theo’s like a brother to me, too.”

“I know,” I mutter. “But Gray, he’s…”

Gray holds up a hand. “Just listen. I’ve known Theo for a long time. Sometimes I think maybe a little too long,” he chuckles, stabbing his fingers through his hair. “And for him to tell me that he wants to fix things… well, I believe him. I’ve never seen him like this. I’ve never seen him work this hard for anything.”

I chew on my bottom lip, staring down into my lap.

“I know that motorcycle ride he took you on went to shit,” Gray continues. “But do you realize that’s the first time he’s ever let a girl get on that damn bike with him?”

That gets my attention. My eyes fly back up to Gray’s, thrown wide.

“He didn’t tell you that?”

I shake my head. “No, I mean, I just assumed…” I trail off, sighing.

Gray frowns. “That’s what I’m saying, Brooke. People assume a lot of things about Theo, but there’s also a lot about him that they don’t see.” He pauses, his dark eyes wide, earnest. “I think you did, though,” he says gently. “I think you know there’s more there under the surface. The mate bond has him hard-wired to want to be with you, but for what it’s worth, I think he truly cares about you. And I’m not saying you should be quick to forgive him, because he screwed up and he needs to own up to that. I’m guess I’m just saying that I hope you give him a chance.”

I swallow hard, tucking my hair behind my ears. I don’t even know what to say. My mind is spinning.

Part of me wants so badly to give Theo a chance. The thought of climbing out of the friend zone and actually being with him is thrilling- but it’s also terrifying. I’ve been a wreck over the past few days; I never want to feel that way again. What if I give him a chance and he hurts me again?

But I also have to consider the flipside- what if he doesn’t? What if I could forgive him, be with him, lean into the mate bond… maybe we could be happy together. Maybe our differences could be an asset instead of a detriment- maybe they would balance us out somehow, make us both better.

Just like when I was staring at that ski-lift, I’m torn between holding myself back out of fear or letting go and taking a risk.

“Whatever you do decide, Fallon and I have your back, a hundred percent,” he adds.

I smile. “Thanks, Gray.”

He nods, rising to his feet. I do the same and he opens his arms, inviting me in for a hug. I step forward and lean into him, winding my arms around his torso. Gray’s so big, bulky- it’s hard to even get my arms around him. The hug feels great, though- warm, comforting. Supportive. He pats me on the back, then we both pull away, smiling at one another. I’ve always wanted a big brother- I’m glad that Gray is becoming that for me.

“Alright, we should get going,” he grumbles, turning toward the door and gesturing for me to follow. “Your sister isn’t exactly known for being patient.”

“No kidding,” I laugh.

I follow Gray out of the room and down the stairs. Fallon’s waiting for us, tapping her foot exaggeratedly and looking at her wrist like there’s a watch on it. I roll my eyes at her dramatics.

“I’m gonna be cutting it close for the meeting,” Gray says, glancing up at the clock on the wall. “Do you wanna just drop me off at the complex on your way?”

We have to go back to Summervale this morning so I can collect my things- my duffel, laptop, and phone. I wasn’t exactly thinking straight when I ran all the way to Goldenleaf in wolf form last night.

Fallon sets her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. “Are you just trying to get out of seeing my parents?” she teases.

“Never,” Gray grins. He sweeps an arm around her waist, pulls her in and plants a kiss on her lips. “Duty calls, babe. We can make plans to go see them another time.”

I’m glad that Fallon and Gray are so happy together, but their constant PDA is like rubbing salt in my fresh wounds. I want something like that so badly- and it feels so out of reach right now given the circumstances.

We pile in the Jeep, dropping Gray off at the complex. Then I take the passenger seat and Fallon starts driving toward Summervale. As I buckle my seatbelt, I think of the first time Theo picked me up in this Jeep to bring me back to Summervale. I smile thinking of how he pulled up with a Green Day song playing, how he drove like a maniac, how he watched me as I danced to an 80’s song. It was just a few weeks ago, but it feels like so much time has passed.

Then there was our trip to Denver. I remember being so irritated when I saw him behind the wheel of the Jeep, and then he had me turn on my music, DJ the trip. Teased and joked with me the whole way. That Denver trip was when he first started to win me over.

He picked me up in the Jeep for our anti-date, too- took me to the ski resort and talked me into getting on the lift. Gave me butterflies.

They’re good memories, but they feel different now that I know he’s my mate. I feel like I need to analyze every interaction we’ve ever had, try to pick them apart to determine if we really could be compatible or if I was just blinded by his charming smile and my schoolgirl crush. Measure the risk, evaluate every angle. I can’t help myself- it’s just what I do.

“I don’t want Mom and Dad to know,” I mumble, staring out the window at the blur of green trees. “Not yet.”

Fallon blows out a breath. “Are you sure? They could have good advice…”

“I’m sure.” I turn to look at my sister as she drives. “You know how they are. They’ll get all excited, and if it doesn’t work out…”

Fallon rolls her eyes. “You don’t want to disappoint them.” She glances over at me. “You do realize that we’re not in high school anymore, right? You don’t have to keep playing the role of the perfect daughter.”

“I’m not,” I scowl. “I just don’t want the pressure, alright? I want to figure this out on my own.”

She nods. “Fine. I won’t say anything.”

We ride in silence for a few minutes before Fallon speaks up again.

“So when are you gonna talk to him?”

I heave a sigh. “I don’t need pressure from you either, Fallon.”

“What?” she laughs, feigning innocence. “I’m not pressuring, I’m just curious.”

“There’s just a lot for me to think about.” I stare out the window, resting my chin on my palm.

“You mean a lot for you to over-think about.”

“Yeah,” I grumble.

A pause settles between us before Fallon chuckles again, side-eyeing me. “I still can’t believe you got on a motorcycle.”

I turn to her, my lips spreading into a grin. “Right? I mean I’ll probably never do it again, but before he started driving like a crazy person it was actually kinda…”

“Fun?” Fallon asks, finishing my sentence for me.

I nod. “Yeah.” I bite my lip, considering. “It was a rush.”

That night ended so badly that I’ve never actually thought about how much I was enjoying the ride before things went south. It felt good to wrap my arms around Theo, ride behind him with the wind in my hair. I didn’t hate it.

Fallon grins, side-eyeing me again. “My sister the adrenaline junkie. Who woulda thought?”

I laugh, slapping her arm with the back of my hand. “Whatever.”

“Hey, it’s not a bad thing that you’re coming out of your shell a little bit.” Fallon shrugs. “About time you let loose and had some fun.” She waggles her eyebrows.

I roll my eyes. “You sound like Theo.”

Now that I think about it, the two of them are more alike than I ever realized. Both reckless, impulsive, hot-headed, short-sighted. Maybe that’s why the two of them have always butted heads.

The radio is playing on a low volume, and I perk up when I hear the song change.

Wait a minute, is it…?

I lean forward, crank the dial to turn it up. A smile spreads across my face.

And that’s when I know I’m going to give Theo a chance.

I close my eyes and lean back, losing myself in the song, in the memory tied to it.

You got mud on your face, you big disgrace

Kickin’ your can all over the place singin’

We will, we will rock you

We will, we will rock you