Alpha Theo by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER  TWENTY-SEVEN

Theo

“You look rough,” Gray mutters, pulling open the door of the packhouse.

“I feel worse,” I groan. I scrub a hand over my face, looking past him. “Is she here?”

Gray nods solemnly.

I don’t even know why I asked. I already know she’s here- I can sense her, feel the pull of the mate bond.

I reach up, tugging at my hair, shuffling my feet. “Can I come in?”

“I don’t know, man,” Gray grumbles, holding his position in the doorway.

“Please?” My voice is hoarse, gravelly. Desperate.

Gray heaves a sigh, stepping aside to allow me entry.

I stride inside, turning to watch Gray close the door behind me.

He spins around, his eyes dark, sullen. “Look, Theo… you really fucked up.”

“You think I don’t know that?” I snap.

I walk over to the nearest couch, sinking down onto it and lowering my head into my hands.

Saying that I fucked up is an understatement. I took a wrecking ball to what I’d worked so hard to build with Brooke, destroyed it all in one fell swoop. If I’d never taken her on that motorcycle ride, things could be so different right now. If I’d just apologized for scaring the shit out of her on my bike, things could be different. If I’d stayed, fixed things…

My throat’s raw, tears stinging behind my eyes. I can’t even remember the last time I cried. I’m not sure I have since my mom died. I force my tears back, try to focus on my breathing.

When I scented the air, felt my body come alive in the forest, I knew it could only be the mate bond. The feeling was indescribable. While my wolf was going nuts trying to follow it, though, my human side was conflicted- because part of me didn’t want to find my mate. Not when I had so many unresolved feelings about Brooke.

It never occurred to me that she could actually be my mate. Fate knows I don’t deserve someone like her. But somehow, against all odds, she appeared, shifted, stood across from me stripped bare in the moonlight. My own wolf receded, and the next thing I knew I’d shifted, was rising on two legs, gazing upon the most beautiful female in existence- the one fate made mine.

I felt so happy, so fucking lucky, and then… before she even spoke, I could see it in her eyes. That she didn’t want it, didn’t want me. And it’s all my fault.

“What am I gonna do, Gray?” I croak, my voice barely audible. I lift my head from my hands, look up to find him standing in front of me with his arms folded across his chest.

“What do you wanna do?” His voice is even, steady, in stark contrast to my own.

I shake my head. “I’ve gotta make things right somehow.” Tears prick the backs of my eyes again and I look away.

Gray blows out a breath. “Listen, man. It’s not gonna be easy,” he says gently, leaning against the arm of the couch beside me. “From what Fallon’s told me, the situation between you two was already complicated enough before the fated mate bond was thrown in the mix. And now… well, can you blame her for being unsure about it? If you seal the bond, you’re linked forever. How is she supposed to believe you’ll stick around when you’ve already abandoned her twice?”

His words sting, the harsh reality of the truth slicing through me.

“I just wish I’d had more time with her before we found out,” I grumble. “I could’ve fixed things, shown her I could change. I was already trying to before this damn moon.” I gaze out the back window of the packhouse at the hazy glow of the moon in the distance, cursing it for turning my world upside down.

Gray leans over, setting a hand on my shoulder. “The fact that you even say that is a huge step in the right direction.”

I tug at my hair, peering over at Gray. “I’ve gotta talk to her, dude.”

He blows out a breath, clapping me on the shoulder before leaning forward off of the arm of the couch to stand. “I’ll see if she’ll come down.”

Gray walks away, heads for the stairs. I’m left alone with my own tortuous thoughts again.

She ran away. I fucking deserved it after running away from her a few nights ago. Now I can truly appreciate how shitty it feels to be on the other end, to be the one left behind. My wolf was desperate to follow her, but I didn’t let him- I guess I thought it was better to give her time and space to process what just happened. Honestly, I just didn’t know what the fuck to do. I could barely process what happened myself. So I ran back home, shut myself in my room, racked my brain trying to figure out how to fix this. And then I got on my bike and wound up here.

I don’t know what the mate bond will mean for us. I don’t know if I can wrap my mind around being tied down to one person, being in an actual relationship. I’m not thinking that far ahead though, not right now. In this moment, my singular goal is to get Brooke back. The rest I can figure out later.

I glance up as Gray bounds down the stairs, strides over to me.

“Well?” I ask.

He gives a little shake of his head. “Sorry, man. She doesn’t want to see you.”

The sting of rejection cuts deep. My temper flares, anger rising in my chest as my guard slams up. I shoot to my feet. “She won’t even fucking talk to me?”

Gray shakes his head again.

I feel bile rise in my throat like I’m going to vomit. “Fuck this,” I growl.

Then I raise my voice, looking to the stairs. “Why would I want a mate that doesn’t want me?!”

“Hey!” Gray snaps, pointing a finger in my direction. “You did this to yourself, bro. What the fuck were you thinking, leaving her on the side of the road? What kind of man does that?”

I shake my head, pushing past Gray. “I’m over this.”

Old habits die hard. I bail.

I stomp to the door, pull it open. Step outside and slam it shut behind me. Then I just stand on the front stoop for a minute, catching my breath. My heart feels like it’s splintering inside my chest. My eyes sting with the threat of tears.

I take a shaky step forward, start down the walk. I make it all the way to the driveway before it hits me that this is the same behavior that pushed Brooke away in the first place, the same shit I’ve been trying to rise above, for her.

I start to turn around to go back when I hear a voice call out.

“Hey!”

I whip around in the direction of the familiar voice and for a split second, I think it’s Brooke standing on the front stoop.

Fucking identical twins.

Fallon hops off of the stoop, charging down the walkway toward me.

I take a couple of steps toward her and then she fucking barrels into me, shoving at my chest. I’m so caught off guard that I don’t have time to react- I hear the crack of her fist against my jaw, feel the sear of pain delivered by her right hook.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Fallon demands as she continues her onslaught. I put my hands up to block another blow to my face, then stick out an arm to try to hold her back. She ducks under it, shoves me again.

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?”

“I know,” I grumble as I try to hold her back, dodge her blows.

At my admission, Fallon stops pushing me. She steps back and narrows her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. “Good,” she chirps. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, wincing and rubbing the spot on my jaw where Fallon landed her first punch.

“She’s your mate, Theo.” Fallon’s eyes darken. “You don’t deserve her, but by some miracle fate gave her to you. Do you know how fucking lucky you are? If you care about Brooke at all then you’d better straighten up and make things right or you’ll lose her.”

I scowl, shaking my head. “I’ve been trying…”

“How?!” Fallon interrupts. “By hooking up with other girls?”

I can practically feel the anger rolling off of her in waves, see the steam coming out of her ears.

Her insinuation pisses me off. I raise my voice, yell back at her. “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Sutton, Theo, really? Could you be more of a douchebag?”

I shake my head in disbelief. “I haven’t hooked up with Sutton in months.”

Fallon rolls her eyes, throwing up her hands. “Months? Try Friday night! Were you that fucking wasted?” She starts to come at me again.

I shove out an arm to hold her back. “Yeah I was wasted, but I didn’t do it!”

She keeps trying to duck under my arm, but I keep swiveling, staying just out of her reach.

“Damnit Fallon, would you fucking quit it?! I didn’t hook up with Sutton that night!” I yell.

“You didn’t?” Brooke squeaks.

My eyes fly up to see her standing on the front stoop, barefoot in a t-shirt and cotton shorts, long hair damp and face scrubbed clean of makeup. She looks like a fucking angel- so beautiful that it hurts.

Her presence startles Fallon, too- she whips around, gives me a reprieve from fighting her off.

“No,” I choke, blinking at Brooke. “I know how it must’ve looked, but I turned her down, went to bed alone. I swear, Brooke… I haven’t even thought about another girl in weeks, not since I started spending time with you…” my voice breaks and I swallow hard, staring at her.

She just stands there silently, staring back. The hurt in those ocean blue eyes of hers absolutely guts me. I was the one who put it there, and now I have to find some way to take it away.

“Look, I know how much I fucked things up,” I say, my voice gravelly. “All I’m asking for here is a chance to make them right again.”

I see a tear slip down her cheek and my chest burns. It physically pains me to see her in pain.

Fallon steps in front of me. “Brooke…”

Brooke holds up her hand, looking to her sister. “Can you give us a minute?”

Fallon pauses and shoots me a sideways glance. “Don’t screw this up,” she mutters before she starts strutting toward the front door of the packhouse. “I’ll be right inside if you need me,” Fallon says to Brooke as she moves past her to the door and slips inside.

Then it’s just me and Brooke standing out in front of the packhouse under the light of the full moon, the newly formed mate bond stretching between us, connecting us.

“Brooke,” I breathe, taking a step toward her.

She holds up her hand again and I stop in my tracks, staring at her pleadingly.

“I’m so fucking sorry, just give me a chance to make it up to you…”

I can’t believe I’m groveling like this. It’s so unlike me- but then again, I’ve never been in this position, never cared about someone like I do Brooke. The mate bond only intensifies the feelings that were already so strong, has my damn emotions in overdrive.

Brooke parts her lips to speak, her voice quiet, steady. “Why should I, Theo?”

The question catches me off guard.

“You can have any girl you want, right?” she asks softly. “So why me? Why should I give you a chance?”

This feels like a test.

I draw a deep breath, wringing my hands in front of me. Try to find the right words to explain aside from the obvious about the mate bond.

“Because things are different with you…” I sigh, raking a hand through my hair. “Brooke, you’re the only girl I’ve ever… respected.”

Brooke looks down at the pavement, shuffling her feet.

“This is just a lot,” she says quietly. “I need some time to wrap my mind around everything. If you truly respect me, you’ll give me that.”

Her eyes meet mine again and I feel like my chest is tearing open. I’m not sure I can bear her walking away again tonight- though she hasn’t officially rejected me as her mate, not yet. If I give her time, then maybe I’ve still got a shot, a chance to turn things around.

“Okay,” I breathe.

She presses her lips together, nodding. “Okay.”

Fuck, the pull of the mate bond is so strong. It’s compelling me to go to her, wrap my arms around her, hold her. But… I can’t.

Brooke turns around and reaches out for the doorknob. She steps back into the packhouse and closes the door behind her.

I just stand there for a few minutes, staring at the door, wishing she’d change her mind. Wishing she’d rush outside, fall into my arms, and let me kiss her like I mean it.

I don’t know how much time she needs, but I’ll give it to her if I have to. Even if the wait is excruciating. Even if time’s the one thing we don’t have.