More Than Once by Dominique Wolf
CHAPTER 16:
“S
o what are your plans for today?” I asked him.
It turned out his cooking skills were non-existent so we figured out a great system of him passing me ingredients while I made us some breakfast. I was standing in front of the stove frying the last of the eggs while Giovanni took a seat on the barstool by the kitchen counter.
“I've got a few meetings with some potential partners today,” he explained. “We're actually looking to expand Mala Mía to other places in Spain.”
“That's great news!” I exclaimed. “Where are you guys looking at now?”
I boiled the kettle and then placed the eggs I was frying on his plate. It completed the already laid-out bacon, toast and mushrooms in front of him. He had quite the hangover so we were trying to rectify that with a greasy yet hardy breakfast.
“This looks amazing,” he commented. “Very English of you. I’m just used to coffee and a sandwich for breakfast.”
I chuckled. “I think this would help with your hangover much better than that.” He smiled before continuing our previous conversation. “We're looking at a few places. Sevilla, Madrid but our focus, for now, is Valencia.”
“I've never been to any of those places. I've heard Sevilla is beautiful though.”
“They all are,” he said, as he took another bite of his food. “You know, I never learned how you came to Barcelona. I've known Reyna for a few years now so I know you haven't been living here for very long.”
Just as I was about to answer, my phone started to ring. Saved by the bell. I was busy pouring the hot water into our mugs so I asked Giovanni to answer.
“Isabella's phone,” he answered formally.
I placed his mug in front of him and gestured for him to pass me the phone but he didn't.
“This is Giovanni. What can I do for you, Lorenzo?”
Oh no.I reached for the phone now but Giovanni jumped off the stool. He was clearly finding this entire situation amusing.
“I'll have to let Isabella know you called.”
“Giovanni!” I hissed.
“Goodbye, Lorenzo,” he said as he hung up, strolling back to the counter and sat on the barstool again, casually continuing his meal. “So that was Lorenzo.”
“Yes, I got that,” I mumbled sarcastically. “Why didn't you let me speak to him?”
“And what could you possibly have to talk to him about?”
“Well, I wanted to see why he called.”
“He called because he wants you.”
“He doesn't want me.”
Giovanni snorted. “Don't be naive, Isabella. I know Lorenzo and he always goes after what he wants which, after that kiss last night, is you.”
I blushed. I was embarrassed by that and it was even worse that Giovanni watched it happen. I knew I wanted him to see but that was not the smartest decision I had made.
“Are you mad about the kiss?”
He shook his head and took a bite of his bacon. “I was but that's not going to happen again.” I raised an eyebrow and sipped on my coffee, waiting for him to explain.
“You're mine now,” he announced proudly. “This is delicious by the way.”
I was thankful for the subject change. The last thing I wanted to do was continue to talk about Lorenzo. I did feel bad. I led him on the same way I did with Alessandro but I couldn't help the way I felt about Giovanni. In the end, he was all I wanted and to hear him call me his was music to my ears.
“You never answered my question about how you ended up in Barcelona?”
I sighed. There was really no point in prolonging the inevitable. I took a seat on the barstool across from him.
“Well, I moved here from London just over half a year ago,” I explained. “Long story short, I got dumped.”
“What was his name?”
“Nate Cameron,” I said. “We were together for about six years and then...”
“Six years?” Giovanni interrupted me. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah, we had been together since I was in high school.”
“That's a long time to invest in one person. What happened?”
“There had been so much talk about marriage and everyone around us was expecting it so just when I thought he was going to propose, he dumped me instead. It turned out he wasn't ready for the commitment.”
“I really want to say sorry but I know that if that never happened, I never would have met you and I couldn't think of anything worse.” Giovanni reached for my hand.
I smiled up at him. He was right. I never would have ended up in Barcelona had Nate not decided to end things. I never would have started a life here and I never would have met Giovanni. He brought light to my life again and I couldn't imagine living in darkness again.
“Did you want to marry him?”
I shook my head. “I don't really think I was ready for that either.”
“Were you sad when he ended it?” He asked, softly.
“I wasn't sad over losing him but rather sad over the fact that I actually had no idea who I was without him,” I admitted. “My life had been so perfectly planned by everyone around me and he was a huge part of that. When he left, I didn't know what to do. I didn't even tell my family the whole story - we were planning to come to Spain for his work anyway but that was in Madrid. They were shocked that there wasn't an engagement so imagine if I had to tell them that there wasn't a relationship at all.”
I couldn't explain what happened with Nate. At the time, I wasn't ready to accept it myself.
I continued to explain this to Giovanni. “My mother and I had a bit of a fallout after she found out I quit my job. I avoided their calls but when I arrived in Barcelona, I had to rip the band-aid off. I told them that Reyna had some family emergency so that's why I was in Barcelona and that I was going to meet Nate in Madrid after.”
“Where do they think you are now?” he asked.
“In Madrid with Nate. At least that’s what I’m assuming. I haven’t really spoken to them enough over these past few months to know for sure,”
“You're going to have to tell them the truth eventually.”
I sighed. “Don't you think I know that? You don't know them, Giovanni. Especially my mother - she's a control freak. There is no room for failure in my family and who would be more of a failure than a daughter who runs off to Barcelona of all places after being dumped and quitting her job. A job that they got for me, might I add. My mother was not happy with me ‘ruining my life’ as she explained. She really didn't want any part in my new life since it wasn't what she had planned. I knew Nate wouldn't say anything to them about what happened between us. He knew what they were like. I’m not an idiot, I know they probably suspect something but out of sight, out of mind and honestly, I don't want to be reminded that I'm a disappointment to them.”
“You're not a disappointment, Isabella.”
“I used to feel like I was. The first few months were tough but now that I've started to build my own life here, I'm happier than I have ever been.”
“You're pretty fucking brave.” Giovanni leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.”
He's right. Not many people could pack up their life and move to another country just like that. It was a spur of the moment decision and I remember the day as if it was yesterday.
“Isabella,” he slurred. “I can't do this anymore.”
I held my breath.
“What?” I asked, even though I had heard exactly what he said.
“This.” He indicated to him and I. “I can't do this relationship anymore. I'm sorry but this is getting way too serious for me. Everyone wants us to get engaged and get married and I can't handle this pressure, I don't want it. I haven't even lived yet and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.”
I waited for the tears but they never came. Instead, I went numb.
“You're breaking up with me?” I tried to remain calm but I couldn't deny the confusion bubbling over inside.
He nodded, “I'm sorry but you deserve someone who can give you what you want right now and that's not me.”
“We don't have to get engaged right now, Nate.”
“I know but it's what your family wants and I don't even know if I want to get married at all.”
Given how openly we discussed the next step in our relationship, his sudden admission of his true feelings caught me off guard. He finally met my gaze. His light blue eyes were filled with pain, and I could tell he was ashamed of what he was doing. I wish I could say I could have predicted it, but it appears we were not on the same page, and I had no idea. This came as a complete surprise to me. I watched him bury his head in his hands. I tried to feel something, but there was nothing left. No sadness. No anger. I felt nothing as the numbness spread across my body.
“Please, Nate, just let me deal with telling my family,” I murmured, my voice devoid of any emotion.
“Of course, Izzy. I'm sorry, I never wanted to hur-”
I lifted a finger to cut him off. He never wanted to hurt me and yet, here we were. I turned around and returned to our room, locking the door behind me. I was in shock. The very last thing I expected Nate to do was dump me. We had it all figured out; every step of our lives had been laid out and ready to go.
But that was the problem.
He didn't want that next step and I couldn't even blame him. I wasn't even sure I wanted it but all I knew was that I had to stick to the plan. My mother made it very clear to me how my life was going to be. I never bothered to question it because my parents always explained that the only way to lead a successful life was to plan for it. I had to get straight A's and study English at University. I had to complete my internship at Oak Tree Publishing and become Junior Editor. The end goal was to become Senior Editor of my parent's newspaper alongside Camila. While ensuring I had my work life under control I had to have the perfect relationship for our society. They had immersed themselves in the upper-class society of London since before I was born. Reputation was everything and every step of our lives had to be as perfect as could be. We had to keep up with the standard. I needed to marry a nice boy from a well-off family. Nate fit the profile perfectly with his family being just as involved in the upper-class society as mine was. We both knew the next step was to get engaged. My family expected me to be married and in the next phase of my work life by next year.
Now that was not going to happen.
I dragged myself to the bed we shared and dropped onto it. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror by my dressing table and stared at my reflection. I didn't know this woman looking back at me. She was lost and unfulfilled. She was more concerned about the reaction of her family to this break-up than how she actually felt about it.
I began to panic. What was I going to do? Where was I going to go? I couldn't tell them. I didn't know what I was going to say to them but I knew I needed to leave. The air around me became thin and I started to feel suffocated. I couldn't control my breathing and I welcomed the tears streaming down my face. My emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I needed to get out of here. I grabbed my suitcase and began filling it with as much as possible. Clothes, shoes, toiletries, books, and anything of mine that would fit. I changed out of my date night clothes which were now tainted with this memory. I tossed the clothes on the bed and changed into something more comfortable - a pair of tights and a shirt would cover it. I reached for my big jacket knowing how unpredictable London's weather could be. I was ready to leave. I turned back to the room one more time - it was strange to look at now. A room that I put so much energy into and one that was supposed to be my safe haven was now unfamiliar to me - I didn't belong here.
I opened the door and checked to see where Nate was but he was nowhere to be found. He must have left while I was packing up and that act alone made me so angry at him. How dare he dump me and then leave like it was nothing? No goodbye? Not even a last glance? Did our time together mean nothing to him? I grabbed my handbag and shoved my cell phone and purse into it. I needed to find a place to stay for tonight and then after work tomorrow, I would figure out what I was going to do.
Where was I going to go? I couldn't go home without exposing what happened tonight. I couldn't go to a friend's place. I didn't have a friend that Nate and I didn't share. There was no Reyna in London. I was alone.
A few hours later I was in a cheap hotel room, staring up at the ceiling trying to compartmentalize what to deal with first. The thoughts were running through my mind and I couldn't grasp my emotions - I was angry, sad and confused all at the same time. I didn't know what to do or how to react - I just wanted to sleep.
And so I did.
The next morning I shut away all my emotions in a tightly closed box in my mind and focused on the day ahead. Today they were announcing the new Junior Editor position that I had been working towards for the last year and a half. I really put all my energy into it and although my personal life plan was uncertain, I was adamant to stick to my work plan. After weeks of discussion, all the elements were in place for me to continue working for them, even from Madrid. I couldn't exactly follow Nate to Madrid now could I? What was I going to do?
I shook those thoughts away as I entered the doors at Oak Tree Publishing and went straight to the boardroom. Everyone had already gathered and we were just waiting on the head of the company, Nigel Oak, to join us. He was a much older man and had been in the business for a long time. My parents were good friends with him and essentially, that's how they convinced him to give me a shot. I felt I needed to go above and beyond to prove myself since I got a foot in the door thanks to them. I didn't agree with nepotism but my mother didn't care. My focus was learning as much from him as possible and putting my best foot forward to ensure I landed this new position. I worked harder than ever these past few months. Nigel walked in and greeted the team. He placed his briefcase down on the table and took a seat at the head.
“Thank you all for making time this morning,” he started. “It's always a great day when you get to welcome a new team member into a new position. Everyone here works incredibly hard and as a boss, I always want to see people excel.”
The door to the boardroom opened and Cindy sauntered in. Cindy was another intern that I worked closely with over the last six months. She was still fairly new to the industry. Her long blonde hair and big blue eyes attracted men to her like a moth to a flame. Her work ethic on the other hand lacked the necessary drive that one needs in her job position. She was happy to be the pretty face and allow those around her to pick up her slack.
“Ah Cindy!” Nigel exclaimed. “You're just in time - ladies and gentlemen, meet your new Junior Editor, Miss Cindy Smalls.”
My stomach dropped.
No. Fucking. Way.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I sputtered.
Now I snapped. Everyone stopped clapping and turned to face me. Cindy glared at me from across the table. She knew how much I wanted this position. She knew how hard I worked for it.
“Is there a problem, Miss Avery?” Nigel asked.
This was the last thread of my life I was holding onto and it just snapped. Everything I was feeling reached the surface and I exploded.
“Is there a problem?” I repeated, laughing. “That's a joke right?”
The entire boardroom went silent.
“Can you explain to me how Cindy could possibly be the best person for this position?”
“Miss Avery,” Nigel started but I interrupted.
“Anyone at this table is more qualified for this position than her. Everything she has managed to achieve at this company has been because of us around her having to pick up her slack.”
I knew I was being a childish bitch now but I couldn't stop. We all knew Cindy was sleeping with Nigel on the side but I really thought I had proven myself with the countless hours and dedication I had given to the company.
“Jealousy makes you nasty,” Cindy said, crossing her arms.
I laughed. “Congratulations on hiring an actual 12-year-old in this position. I know it says Junior but surely this is taking it a bit far?”
I would never act like this. I was being completely immature but I was done with this all. I felt nothing and I just had to get out of there.
“Miss Avery, I hardly think this is the way to express how you're feeling,” Nigel reprimanded.
I grabbed my bag and stood up. “Nigel, consider this my resignation.”
And I turned on my heels and left. I was done with this job. I was done with London. I was done with it all and I needed to get out of here. NOW!
Without even thinking about it, I dialed Reyna.
“Hello?” she said.
“Rey, listen, it's me. I know this is out of the blue but I am buying a ticket to Barcelona right now. Please can I come to you?” I was holding back my tears.
“What time must I pick you up?” That was all she said and the rest was history.
“Isabella?” Giovanni's faint voice brought me out of my memory. I shook those thoughts away and looked up at him. He was standing close to me now looking concerned. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, sorry. Just talking about this brings up a lot,” I confessed.
“I understand. We don't have to talk about this anymore. When is Reyna going to be back?” he asked.
I collected the dishes on the counter and placed them in the sink. “Probably a bit later. She's leaving on Thursday to spend her birthday with her family.”
Giovanni glanced down at his watch. “Listen, I have to head out to that meeting, but can I call you later?”
I turned the tap off and placed the last of the dishes on the drying rack. I reached for the cloth, wiped my hands down and turned to him.
“I don't even think you have my number,” I teased.
“I've actually had it since the first night I met you,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“And yet, you never used it.”
“We've already established that I've been an idiot up until now,” he mused and walked over to me, pulling me into his arms.
I was so calm when he was around. He made me feel safe and wanted. I wanted to hold onto these feelings for as long as I possibly could. I wanted to hold onto him.
“You should go or you're going to be late.” I reached up and kissed him. “Call me later since you say you have my number.”
“Keep your phone close.” He smiled, quickly gathered his things and was out the door in a flash.
The moment he left, I felt the loneliness creeping in again. I missed him. It took me by surprise at how much I already missed him but I did. I sighed and forced myself to head to my bedroom, cell phone in hand. I lay against the pillow he slept in and smiled. It still smelled like him and I wandered off to sleep with the image of him lying next to me.
