More Than Once by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 14:

A

journey that normally would have taken me roughly ten minutes ended up being extended to a thirty-minute walk around the block. I just kept walking, trying to figure out all that was going on in my head. Most of the alcohol had left my system and now I was just cold and hungry. I dragged myself upstairs and unlocked the door to an empty apartment. The silence was deafening. I had nothing else to focus on but my thoughts and I couldn't even get those under control.

Here's what I knew - I was hurt by Giovanni. He hurt me by bringing Casey. And I was aware he, technically, had no obligation to me but I was hurt because obviously I cared about him. I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself into but I didn't think that I was going to have such an instant connection with him. And such a passionate one. I had never felt passion till I met him and besides the fact he could drive my body crazy, there was something about what was inside of him that made me want to know more about him. He had a soft side too and with his witty humour and sexy confidence, how could I not be intrigued? He didn't have to play for me that night. He didn't have to share what he did about his family. He didn't have to listen to me talk about mine. But he did.

I refused to believe that he did that with all the girls he slept with. Why the hell did he tell Alessandro he was my boyfriend? He couldn't do that and then do what he did tonight. He didn't get to dictate who I could be with while he continued to act like it was a free for all for him. It made it so difficult for me to believe he didn't feel anything more for me. There were real emotions involved now and I worked so hard to avoid this from happening. Now look where it's gotten me. When Nate left, I was forced to face the fact that I didn't know who I was and I didn't know what I wanted. My life's plan was ripped from under me and all that was left were pieces of who I used to be. Who was Isabella Avery? There was no flicker of life in me for months. Maybe even years.

Until I met Giovanni.

He awoke something inside of me and allowed me to explore parts of myself that were previously undiscovered. It made me happy. I was happy to feel this light inside of me and he was the one who flipped the switch. Turns out I am actually a lot more sexual than realized. He excited me and somehow made me comfortable enough that I wasn’t afraid to embrace who I really was around him. He made me feel alive. But that's done now. The walk around the block reminded me that no matter what, I could never just continue to be a number on someone's body count.

My stomach growled but I was too drained to eat anything. I dragged myself to the couch and flopped down. I pulled my phone from my bag and searched Casey's name. There she popped up with her beautiful, care-free smile. I didn't know why I was doing this to myself - it certainly wasn't healthy. I scrolled down and found a number of articles in reference to her on-again-off-again relationship with, as they called him, “Barcelona's sexy businessman”, Giovanni Velázquez. I groaned and threw my phone on the couch. Why the fuck did I just do that to myself? That was dumb and I made me feel so much worse than before.

I just needed to figure my life out.

I had to.

***

I woke to a loud insistent banging. I sat right up getting the fright of my life. It took me a while to realize that I must have fallen asleep on the couch and that someone was at my door. I reached for my phone and saw it was two-thirty in the morning.

“What the hell?” I mumbled, confused by the unnecessary amount of noise coming from outside.

I stumbled to the door and jerked it open. Giovanni stood there with his arm leaning on the side of the door frame.

“Giovanni, do you know what time it is? What the hell are you doing here?” I grumbled, still groggy by being woken up so suddenly.

He stumbled past me into my apartment and I could smell the alcohol on him.

“Are you drunk?” I asked, closing the door behind me.

He ignored my question. “I told you we needed to talk.”

I watched him stumble all the way to the lounge as he pulled off his jacket and threw it on the couch. I went to the kitchen and grabbed him a glass of water. As angry as I was at him, he was drunk and I was not about to have him throw up in my apartment. He needed to get himself under control.

“Sit,” I instructed.

He obeyed and dropped onto my couch. He ran his hands through his hair and looked up at me. I handed him the glass of water.

“Drink it all.”

He didn't argue with me and instead finished the whole glass. I took it from him and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch. I sat on the table and looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

“Is there a reason you are in my apartment drunk at two-thirty in the morning?” I huffed.

“Why did you leave earlier?” There was a glimmer of sadness and confusion in his eyes.

I sighed. “You're joking right?”

“No Isabella, I'm not.” He mimicked my tone.

I was tired, hungry and seemed to be a tad hungover already so I had no patience at this point to deal with his questions.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you?” I asked, the sarcasm dripping from my voice. “Did you forget who you brought with you tonight?”

He still looked confused and I wanted to shake him.

“Giovanni, you cannot tell me that you don't understand why I was hurt tonight.”

“Casey?” he asked. “Are you referring to Casey?”

“Of course I am.”

“She wasn't my date or anything like that, Isabella.”

“Sure looked like she was from where I was standing,” I mumbled. “Please don't lie to me. Just be honest, get some more water and see yourself out.”

I had no energy to deal with this. He drained me. I stood up ready to leave but as I turned he reached for my hand. That touch sent shivers through my body. I couldn't control my physical reaction to him. It was still unbelievable to me.

“She wasn't my date.” he repeated

“Do you realize how often you say that?”

“She's just a friend.”

“A friend you've slept with. A friend that the press refers to you as her on-again-off-again boyfriend.”

“You searched her?” he was confused. “Why would you do that?”

“Why wouldn't I do that?” I huffed. “There's so much about you and your many relationships that I wasn't aware of.”

He said nothing.

“I really don't care anymore,” I sighed. “You went out of your way to make it known to Alessandro last week that you're my boyfriend, which might I remind you, you are not and then you bring another woman to a place that you knew I'd be? How many times must I see you with someone else, Giovanni? One minute you're interested in me then you're not. I mean, what the fuck? Please explain all of this to me because I really can't seem to figure you out.”

He remained silent which only angered me more.

“If you're not going to answer my questions then you need to leave right now, Giovanni,” I snapped. “I'm not going to continue to be just another number on your list.”

“That's not what you are.”

“Oh really?” I huffed. “Cause it sure feels like that.”

“I don't know why I brought Casey,” he admitted. “I don't even give a shit about her.”

“Well, that's nice,” I remarked, not even bothering to control my sarcasm at this point. “You play a dirty game, Giovanni.”

“Something's going on Isabella and I don't know how to handle it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You,” he huffed. “I can't get you out of my head.”

I held my breath.

“You literally consume my every fucking thought lately and that's never happened to me before.”

He let go of my hand and stood up, pacing back and forth. “I don't know how to handle all of this so it's just easier for me to try and push you away.”

My anger subsided and was replaced with a wave of relief. I knew I wasn't going crazy. It was impossible for him to not be feeling what I was feeling. It was way too real.

“I knew bringing Casey would get this reaction but it's what I do. I fuck things up.” He ran his fingers through his hair.

I stood up to go to him but he paced right past me.

“And then I saw you kiss Lorenzo and that made this all very clear to me.”

“Wait, how do you know Lorenzo?” I asked, surprised that he knew his name.

“He and I had got into a fight a while back, I actually broke his nose.” He shrugged casually.

“Giovanni! What did you fight about?”

He averted his gaze and I figured it out. “Did you sleep with his sister?” Lorenzo's sister was quite a catch and clearly, Giovanni had a thing for really beautiful women given how Casey looked too. He didn't need to say anything, I could see the answer in his eyes.

“Of course,” I mumbled and sat back down on the couch. “How many others have you slept with?”

“Isabella, I don't want to talk about the others,” he said softly. He walked back to the couch and sat down next to me. He reached out for my hand and I didn't push it away.

“When I saw you kiss Lorenzo.” His hand tightened. “It made it very clear to me that I don't want to see you with other guys. It drives me fucking crazy. I've never felt like this before.” He was saying everything I needed to hear. There was no way what was happening between us was one-sided. The feelings were very much there and I didn't think either of us expected that. I certainly wasn't looking for it. After everything that had happened in my life, the last thing I needed was to involve someone else in it. But Giovanni came out of nowhere and I was feeling things I'd never felt before.

“Don't you think it drives me crazy to see you with someone else?” I explained, “Why do you think I was so hurt tonight? I can't help myself, Giovanni. There's something about you that I just can't shake.”

I didn't want to admit any of this out loud but here he was saying all the right things and I needed him to know I was feeling the same.

“I'm not good at this shit, Isabella.”

I squeezed his hand. “Trust me, neither am I. There is still so much we don’t know about each other.”

“Maybe we should start there.” I smiled. I couldn't help it. Everything I was feeling for him started bubbling over - there was no way to control it now. He was saying what I needed to hear and that opened the floodgates to everything I was trying to fight. A part of me was terrified of this. I knew if Giovanni was to break my heart that it would be unlike any heartbreak I had experienced before - that's how real our connection was already. I didn't know how it was possible to have this kind of connection with someone I only met a few months ago but here we were. I reached out for him and caressed my thumb across his cheek. It was a soft gesture but I knew he needed it right now. He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes. He was so beautiful. Everything about him was just beautiful to me. All the hurt and confusion I was feeling earlier slipped away. All that mattered to me right now was that he was right here. I leaned forward and kissed him. A soft kiss but it was exactly what we needed. I pulled away from him and we looked at each other.

“Are you trying to take advantage of me in my drunken state?” He murmured, smiling.

I laughed. “I was actually going to suggest we go to bed.” I stood up and extended my hand to him. “Come with me,” I instructed.

He slid his hand in mine and stood up. I led him to my bedroom and walked him over to the bed. He was sleepy now and I could tell we weren't going to discuss anything further tonight. He kicked his shoes off and laid down against the pillow.

“Do not throw up in my bed. I won't be cleaning that up.” His eyes were already closed but he cracked a small smile.

“Come lie with me,” he mumbled and reached out for me.

“Let me go get changed.” I turned but he pulled me back again.

“Don't be too long.”

I kissed his cheek. “I'll be right back.”

I could already hear his soft breathing and snores from just outside the room. I stopped at the door of the bathroom and looked back at him. He was so peaceful. Looking at him made me smile and I could feel the warmth inside my heart. I was already in too deep. There was no way I could stop myself from falling now.

It was far too late for that.