Alpha Gray by C.J. Primer
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Gray
“Hey,” I breathe, leaning against the doorframe of the infirmary.
“Hey yourself.” Fallon grins, swinging her long tan legs over the edge of the cot. She sets her feet on the floor, pushing slowly off of the cot with her arms, testing her strength. A couple of hours have passed since her injury, so the bone in her leg should be healed by now.
After I delivered Fallon to the infirmary earlier, I returned to the arena for the remainder of the tournament. Even though I knew she’d heal, and she was exactly where she needed to be to recuperate, I was distracted from the moment I left her side. Which is a perfect example of why I tried to cut things off with her in the first place- neither of us need distractions right now.
Still, I can’t help myself- I’ve got this magnetic attraction to Fallon that I’m clearly powerless to resist. Maybe it’s time to give up the fight and just let it happen.
I immediately stride across the room in her direction. “Don’t push it,” I warn, but I should know better; the girl’s stubborn as hell and she’s already on her feet, shifting her weight back and forth.
Fallon looks up at me, rolling her eyes. “It’s all better. See?” She hops from one foot to the other, demonstrating, as her ponytail swings behind her. She’s fucking adorable.
I haven’t been able to get the image of her sprawled across my desk, naked and ready, out of my head. I want more of her, all of her. I want to coax those breathy little moans from her lips, watch her writhing underneath me in pleasure as she climaxes, then do it all over again, bringing her to the precipice, pushing her over it, wringing pleasure from her until she can’t take anymore. I want her to be mine.
I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind for the past 24 hours, trying to rationalize why it would be acceptable to just let go and dive into this thing with her head-first, and I keep coming up short. While we haven’t yet been in proximity of one another on the full moon for confirmation, the chance of us being mates is so slim that I won’t even allow myself to consider it. Sure, there’s this off-the-charts physical attraction between us, but neither of us can afford to put everything on the line for something that is inevitably temporary. If we do, one of us will only wind up getting hurt in the end.
Even so, it has become apparent by now that I’m incapable of staying away from the girl, so the best I can do is try to tell myself that it’s a physical thing, try to keep my emotions out of it.
Still, I had to come up and check on her as soon as the tournament finished. It was a nail-biter right until the very end, and in a huge upset, Davis wound up pulling out the win over Judd. The kid should’ve been out in the first round against Judd, got the wildcard vote to re-enter, and then ended up beating him. The crowd of recruits went absolutely wild when he was announced as the victor. I know he’s a friend of Fallon’s from back home- it’s a shame she couldn’t be there to see it.
“You should still take it easy,” I say sternly as Fallon continues bouncing.
Fallon just grins mischievously. She takes a step toward me, sliding her hands onto my shoulders and looking up at me with those big blue fuck-me eyes. They get me every time.
I’m nearly lost in them when the realization of where we are hits me, and I take her hands in mine, lifting them off of my shoulders. I step back, looking around cautiously. Nobody else is in the infirmary right now, but the door is propped open and someone could walk by at any moment. If this thing with Fallon is going to continue- and fuck, I want it to continue- then it’s gotta stay under wraps.
She tilts her head, narrowing her eyes and searching my face. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just…” I shove my hands into my pockets to keep them off her, swallowing hard and staring down at the floor. “Not a good idea.”
My eyes trail back up to hers and Fallon arches a brow, folding her arms across her chest. “Oh, so you’re playing hot and cold again?”
“I’m not playing at anything,” I grumble.
“Then what the hell was yesterday?” The inflection in her tone is accusatory and her wolf is surging to the surface, swirling behind her eyes in glimmers of silver.
I breathe a sigh, bringing a hand to my face and pinching the bridge of my nose with my fingers. She’s pissed, and I totally get it. I’ve been saying one thing and doing another. I’m probably sending mixed signals, confusing her, because I’m fucking confused. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when it comes to Fallon.
“Yesterday was…”
“Don’t you dare say it was a mistake,” Fallon snaps, cutting me off and throwing her hands onto her hips.
I shake my head quickly. “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying…” I have no idea how to explain what I’m trying to convey, but I take a stab at it. “I mean, I know I said we should keep things professional before, but it’s pretty fucking obvious that I have no self-control when I’m around you…” I keep my voice low, settling my hands on her shoulders and staring down into her eyes. “Yesterday was amazing, but… that doesn’t mean we’re… together.”
I see a flash of pain in her eyes and I immediately regret my choice of words. The last thing I want to do is hurt her- I’m just trying to be logical here. She scowls, looking away, and when she returns her gaze to mine, it isn’t pain I see- it’s anger.
“Fuck you, Gray,” she spits, shoving at my chest. She tries to shrug out of my grip on her shoulders, but I hold on, my mind working overtime trying to figure out how to smooth this over before she walks away. Of course I’d fuck things up while trying to tell her how I don’t want to fuck things up.
“Hey…” I breathe, sliding my hands to her waist and trying to pull her in close, but she fights me, pushing at my chest. “That came out wrong,” I mutter, but she’s still writhing against my grip, fighting to get away. “I can’t think straight when I’m around you, and… fuck, Fallon, will you just listen to me?!” I don’t mean to raise my voice so loud, but in response, she actually stops struggling. Instead, she folds her arms across her chest indignantly, a deep scowl etched on her beautiful face.
“I just mean I think we should keep things quiet,” I say, tucking my finger under her chin and tipping her face up to mine. “I’m still technically your superior at training camp.”
“Well obviously.” She rolls her eyes, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. Her shoulders relax slightly, and she uncrosses her arms, pressing her palms to my chest again. “I don’t want people thinking I didn’t earn my spot on the squad based on my own merit.”
I blow out a breath. “Exactly.” I try pulling her into my chest again, wrapping my arms around her, and this time she lets me. God, she smells so fucking good. “I think we should keep things casual for now, ya know?” I murmur against her hair. “So we can both focus on the things we need to.” I drop a kiss on the top of her head, and I’m immediately struck by how strange it feels to make such an affectionate gesture. Guess I’m the king of mixed signals.
She pushes gently against my chest with her palms and I loosen my hold around her waist so she can lean back to look up at me. “Ohhhkay, mister Alpha. I’m not some stupid girl pining after you,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes again. “Casual’s good with me, it’s perfect actually.”
“Good,” I say, though the way she responded doesn’t sit quite right with me. Here I am, losing my damn mind over this girl, and she’s acting like she couldn’t care less. Have I already gotten in too deep with her?
I don’t have time to wonder, because she’s pursing those soft, pouty lips of hers and I can’t help but reach out again with a finger, gently tip her chin up, and lean down to plant a quick kiss on them. The tingles I feel from the sparks between our lips shoot straight down to my dick. Damn, why does this girl have this effect on me every time?
I hear the sound of approaching footsteps in the hallway and immediately release Fallon and jump back, whipping around and looking to the doorway. A squad member named Whitney passes by. She doesn’t even glance inside the infirmary, but I’m reminded that anyone could at any moment- Fallon and I need to be more careful if we’re going to keep this thing between us… well, between us.
I return my gaze to Fallon and she’s just standing there with a hip cocked and her hand upon it, the hint of a smirk on her lips.
I shake my head, stabbing my fingers through my hair. “Try to rest that leg tonight, huh?” I say, knowing full well that my words are landing on deaf ears. Fallon’s stubborn as hell- when you tell her to do one thing, you can just about guarantee that she’ll do the opposite.
“Yes, sir,” she replies, her words dripping with sarcasm.
I crack a half-smile, turning to leave.
It feels good to be on the same page with Fallon for once, though I know I need to follow through with my intentions and actually try to keep things casual with her. I’ve never had an issue doing that with any other female, but it has been years since I took up with one and Fallon’s just… different, somehow.
While I know it’s best to keep my emotions out of the equation, I’m starting to wonder if I can… because the truth is, no matter how much I fight it, she’s already got a hold on me.
