Runaways by Nicole Dykes
We have to find a way to make some money. I know we do. The money Rae saved and brought along, even paired with the five hundred I’d saved up, isn’t going to last long here. The motel we’re staying in is shitty and smells like cleaner, but the heater actually works well, and it’s keeping us safe for now.
We’ve been here a week with nothing solid yet. We spent one day cleaning out an old lady’s garage and made forty dollars together. But that’s it so far. We’ve already had to pay for food and for the next week in the motel. I need to get Rae a coat to survive the winter, but we can’t swing it just yet.
We took the bus to the library and are both going through ads for gigs. Most of them are hinting at sex, which has been pretty much our luck this whole time. And it’s not happening.
I look over at Rae, who is at the computer across from me. I’m still getting used to her much shorter and darker hair, but she’s still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And the thought that I have no idea how to provide for her is killing me, twisting around inside me and stirring up frustration and anger.
I should have planned better. I knew something big was going to happen, and I didn’t have a plan in place. She lets out a choked gasp, and her face drains, causing me to jump up and move over to her. I keep my voice down, asking, “Rae? What’s wrong.”
She only motions toward the screen. I look and see a picture of my brother, one from his days in high school with the line. The caption reads, “Local Man Attacked.”
No.
“Nash.” My eyes scan the article as I kneel down next to Rae. According to the article, Nash was attacked by two unknown assailants on his way to his truck after work. He has cracked ribs, a broken arm, and needed stitches in his cheek. “Fuck,” I whisper and then turn to Rae whose face is pale. I can tell even when I’m not touching her, she’s trembling. “Rae?”
“He’s hurt. Because of me.”
I shake my head and place a hand on her shoulder as I quickly read the rest of the article. “He’s okay. He didn’t even stay the night in the hospital.” Because he’s a stubborn bastard, but still.
“Lawson . . .” God, I hate how broken her voice sounds as my eyes find hers.
My own hands are shaking, though, as I pull away from her and stand up. “Not here.” I take her hand and lead her through the double doors outside into the frigid air. “It’s okay.”
But no part of me actually feels like it’s okay. She just shakes her head over and over. “No, it’s not. They beat him, Law. Your brother, who has been nothing but good to us. They beat him up. Broke his arm . . .”
I can’t think about my brother being attacked right now. I can’t think about the pain he went through at the hands of Colin or his friends. “He’s alive. That’s what matters. And I guarantee you, they got nothing out of him.”
“Which means they only kept hurting him.” She’s crying now, and I’m worried her wet tears are going to freeze to her cheeks. I wipe them away and pull her closer to me, letting her face rest in my chest.
“I know.”
She’s shaking her head against my chest but doesn’t pull away. “This is all my fault.”
“No. It’s not.” I place my hands on her small shoulders and pull her body away from mine to look into her eyes. “It’s not your fault.”
It feels like mine though. Bringing Nash into this. But I can’t tell her that.
“It is. We have to go back.”
My eyes darken with fear. “What? No.”
“Lawson, we have to. He could have been killed.”
I step away from her, uncertain how she could even think that we could go back. “We aren’t going back there.”
“Lawson.” Her voice is shrill, and I know she’s upset.
“No.” I lock eyes with her, more than ready for a battle with her over this. We can fight, and we’ll still be okay, but there’s no way in hell I’m ever letting her go back there. “We aren’t going back. Not now. Not ever.”
“They nearly killed your brother.”
A mother and her kids walk past us to go into the library, and I pull Rae over to the side of the building with me, knowing we can’t bring attention to ourselves. “They didn’t. He’s okay. And he’ll kill me if we go back there now after everything he’s been through.”
She shakes her head again, wrapping her arms over her waist. “He didn’t deserve that. What if they come after him again?”
“They won’t.”
She looks at me incredulously. “How do you know that? You don’t, Lawson. You don’t know. They could kill him next time.”
My gut tenses with fear, but I force myself to breathe and think as logically as Nash would. “Listen to me, Rae. I know my brother. If two men managed to beat him up, they caught him off guard. It won’t happen again. He won’t let it. And they aren’t going after him again. They don’t need a dead body right now.”
“That’s your brother.” Her eyes are watery, and I hate how she’s looking at me. Like I’m some kind of unfeeling monster, but I need to reassure her more about his safety than my conscience at the moment.
“I know that. And he’s tough. He’ll be okay, I promise. But we can’t go back there. Then all of this is for nothing.”
She sniffles and wipes at her nose that’s red from the cold and probably also from crying. “This is too hard, Lawson.”
Not Law. Lawson. She sees me as a stranger right now. I can feel it. There’s that ever-widening gap between us again.
“We’re going to make it. We just have to keep going.”
“And if he dies?”
I swallow my fear, tucking it below the surface. “He won’t.”
She shakes her head at me, her shoulders dropping in defeat as she goes back inside the library.
I’m losing her trust. I need to find a way to get it back. But first, I have to find a way to keep us afloat.
