Egotistically Yours by Hayley Faiman

Chapter Six

BETHANIE

Lawrence and Laurentunload the pickup truck as I stand in the living room of Laurent’s penthouse apartment and watch. I can’t pretend that I don’t see Lawrence’s questioning gaze. He’s a psychologist and no doubt has some serious opinions on what is happening in this situation, but thankfully he doesn’t voice them, at least not to me.

“Is there anything else I can do?” Lawrence asks.

Laurent shakes his head. “Have you talked to Lucinda? I’m worried about her,” he says.

I listen intently, wondering what has happened to Lucinda. I know that there was some drama with Lucinda and a guy she was seeing. I don’t know much, just that involved the police and it was one of the reasons Susan was put in jail.

Tennessee has told me some of what happened during that time, but I didn’t pry and ask many details. It wasn’t my business and I was licking my wounds from Laurent’s rejection, plus finding out about my pregnancy. Then there was moving companies from Astor Investments to LoneSTAR Investments, it’s been a busy year.

“You’ll see her again Sunday. Ask her then,” Lawrence murmurs.

Laurent snorts. “Just tell me what you think,” he demands.

“My personal opinion or my brotherly opinion?”

“Is there a difference?”

I feel like I’m a fly on the wall, watching them volley back and forth, wondering what the hell is really going on as I wait for one of them to start actually talking and tell me.

Lawrence sighs. “I suppose not. She’s okay. I think she’s retreated into herself. It may take her some time to deal and cope with what happened.”

“It’s been months, almost a full year,” Laurent snaps.

Lawrence nods his head. “Yes, it has, but it was traumatic. She needs to deal with it in her own way. She’s only twenty-five, Laurent. She’s still a girl.”

I press my lips together. If twenty-five is still a girl, then what does that make me? A mother at twenty-five? Lucinda has a great career, she no doubt has her own place, and she’s a girl?

I don’t speak up and point out that Lawrence is only a few years older, or that Tennessee is actually younger than Lucinda. Instead, I press my lips together and roll them a few times

“Lucinda is a grown-ass woman,” Laurent snorts. “She can take care of herself, and she can heal in her own time. I was just worried about her, that’s all. Brotherly concern, I suppose.”

Lawrence nods his head. “Yeah, it’s taking her a while, but I think she’ll be okay.”

I notice that he doesn’t say she’ll be back to normal, or that she will be back to her old self. I have a feeling that she’ll never be the person she once was. From what I can tell, she was assaulted. I’ve never had that happen, but I have a feeling it changes you forever.

“Call me if you need me before Sunday,” Lawrence shouts, lifting his hand, then his gaze finds mine. “Good to have you back, Bethie,” he says with a smile and a wink.

He leaves and I wonder why I couldn’t be with the calmer, sweeter Astor. Lawrence seems so nice. I just almost can’t believe that he and Laurent are brothers. There is no over-the-top ego when it comes to Lawrence, there isn’t any flash and self-importance. He drives a pickup truck, he smiles easily, and does his own thing.

“Then there was just us.” Laurent chuckles, turning to look at me after Lawrence closes the door behind him.

“What now?” I ask.

I’m still a bit peeved, but after talking to my mother, I’ve decided not to hold this outburst, this demand, against him. I can’t blame him for being pissed and honestly, I brought it all on myself.

“Where do you want me to set up the bassinet?” Laurent asks.

Looking down to Tucker who is still sleeping in his baby car carrier, I shift my gaze back to his. “My bedroom.”

That’s when I watch Laurent’s lips curve up into a grin. “He can stay with us for a few weeks, but then he needs to go to his own room. We can get all that set up too during that time. He needs a crib and things, right?”

“Laurent,” I whisper.

He takes a step closer to me. His anger is now gone, he’s gotten what he wants and he’s finally at peace. I should tell him that he’s nothing but an oversized child, but I just don’t have the fight left in me, at least not right now.

Laurent lifts his hand. His palm cups my cheek and his eyes search my own. “You’re staying in my bed. Tucker can stay with us until his room is ready, then he’ll be across the hall. We are going to give this a fair shot, Bethie.”

“Does this mean we’re dating?” I ask.

I hold my breath, not sure what he’s going to say in response to my question. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I should have stayed home in my apartment. I shouldn’t have just come when Laurent snapped. I just felt so guilty about hiding Tucker from him, I still feel guilty and we’re all in the same room.

“Dating?” he asks on a laugh. “Baby, we’re past dating.”

“What are we?” I ask.

After the way he just turned his back on me all those months ago, when I thought we were exclusive, I need clarification of what we are. I have to know for my own sanity. His thumb slides across my bottom lip, his eyes following the path before they lift to meet mine.

“We’re a family,” he rasps.

“Does this mean we’re exclusive?”

He snorts. “Another man looks at you and I’ll rip him from limb to limb,” he mutters.

“And women?” I ask.

His lips curve up into an even bigger smile and he laughs softly. “No other woman in this world matters to me right now more than you, Bethie.”

Licking my bottom lip, I watch as his gaze flicks down to my tongue, then back up to my eyes. “What happens when they exist again, Laurent? It seems as though you’re a bit fickle,” I whisper.

I expect him to get angry, but he doesn’t. Instead, he lowers his head, his lips touch mine before he rests his forehead against mine. His eyes are closed as he breathes. Then, finally, he speaks.

“We’re starting over, Bethie. I’m invested in this, fully. No running scared again, I can promise you that.”

I’m not sure if I believe him. Time will only tell if this is the truth or if he’ll turn and run to another woman’s bed again. If he does, that’s it. There will be no third time, it will break me completely and kill anything that could ever be between us.

“I hope I can trust your promise,” I whisper.

He hums, his lips brushing against mine. “You can, baby. Swear it.”

LAURENT

Bethie didn’t bring much,just some clothes and toiletries, so she and Tucker are unpacked in record time. I even made space for her in my bedroom and bathroom. I’ve never shared a space with someone, so this will be all brand-new territory for me, but I am trying to look at it positively.

The anger that coursed throughout my entire body just hours ago has dissipated, more than likely because I’ve gotten what I wanted. When Bethie said I was selfish, she wasn’t wrong. I am. I always have been. I don’t know if that part of me will ever change.

Walking across the hall from the master bedroom, I look around the room that has been a catchall for the past few years. It’s got boxes and random things piled up. I’ll need to clean it out so that we can put some furniture in here and make it a space for Tucker.

“What will you do with everything in here?” Bethie asks from behind me.

Turning around, I look down to her. She’s standing a few feet away, looking around my body into the room. Tucker is content to be in her arms as she waits for my answer.

Clearing my throat, I shrug a shoulder. “Toss it all, I guess,” I admit.

“Do you know what’s in there?”

“Shit I don’t need, considering I don’t remember the last time I even walked into the room.”

She frowns, taking a step back, then turns away from me. I watch her walk down the stairs slowly and decide to follow her. She makes her way over to the oversized chair in the living room and sinks down, readjusting Tucker in her arms.

“This feels forced,” she whispers as soon as I am within earshot.

I can’t deny her observation. It does feel forced, mainly because I forced it. “I’m sure it does,” I murmur. “Considering you didn’t want to come here, didn’t want me to even know Tucker existed.”

She flinches, pain slicing across her face, and I know I’ve made a direct hit. She shakes her head a couple of times, her eyes watery as she looks up at me. She doesn’t say anything. I wait, watching her and wondering how she’s going to respond, but she doesn’t immediately.

“Okay,” she whispers. “Okay.”

Bethie clears her throat, then the sadness, the guilt, every emotion that she had been wearing completely vanishes. There is nothing and that hurts almost as badly as the pain that sliced across her face did.

“We need to find a common ground,” she exhales.

Shaking my head, I arch a brow. “I don’t believe in common ground, baby.”

She presses her lips together, her eyes narrowing on me. “You are such an ass,” she hisses.

Leaning forward, I chuckle. “Yeah, I know. If you expected me to somehow change, you’ll be sorely disappointed.”

Bethie rolls her eyes to the ceiling, then Tucker starts to squirm in her arms and I stand up, making my way over to them. “Can I?” I ask.

I don’t know why I feel like I need to ask to hold my own son, but I do. He doesn’t feel like he’s mine yet, and at the same time, I know without a doubt that he is just that—mine. Bethie looks down at Tucker, then lifts her eyes up to meet mine and she nods her head once, lifting him up.

Slipping him from her arms, I cradle him in mine and sink back down onto the sofa, looking into his eyes. We watch one another in silence. I stare at him as if he is the miracle that he truly is.

I’m not sure what he’s thinking, yet, probably wondering why I’m not as pretty as his mama is or something like that. I know that’s what I would be thinking if I were him. He stops fussing and we spend at least a full minute just staring at one another.

Bethie doesn’t speak and I decide against being an asshole for a few minutes while I spend time with my son. Standing, I walk over to the large window and turn sideways so that he can see outside. I don’t think he can really see anything, but I want to show him my world.

Then I feel Bethie walk up behind me. She doesn’t touch me, but she’s close enough that she could if she wanted to.

“I didn’t mean to keep him from you. At first, I was shocked and then hurt by the way you treated me. Then, it felt huge, overwhelming and it was easier not to say anything as the days turned into weeks, then turned into months.”

Hearing her say that makes me feel a little better. Knowing that she didn’t keep this from me out of malicious intent makes me feel a hell of a lot better. It doesn’t make it go away, it doesn’t make the situation any different or make it okay, but at least I understand it a bit better.

“No more, Bethie. This is you, me, and him now.”

Turning my head, I look down at her. Her eyes are watery as she watches me, licking her lips with a nod. “Okay, Laurent. Okay.”

“We have a lot of details we need to work out,” I say just as Tucker’s whole body stiffens and he lets out the saddest cry I’ve ever heard. Looking down, I see his bottom lip trembling as his eyes water and tears slide down.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Bethie laughs as she reaches for him. I hand him over, not wanting to upset him any further. “He’s probably just hungry,” she says.

“Didn’t he just eat?”

She hums, nodding her head as she walks over to the oversized chair and sinks down with him. “He eats every two to three hours,” she calls out.

I watch as she adjusts herself, then holds him to her breast. Still, it mesmerizes me, and I can’t look away. She hums to him, touching his soft fuzzy hair and rocks slightly as they have their moment.

Eventually, I turn away, leaving them alone and head toward my small office. The office space is just behind the kitchen and I need to check my messages from work.

Finally, I have some contacts that have returned my calls. While some instantly turn me down, in the nicest way possible, there are actually a few leads and I leave my office hours later feeling rejuvenated.

Maybe finally my life is getting back on track.