Egotistically Yours by Hayley Faiman

Chapter Seven

BETHANIE

Bethanie Clark is living with the man of her dreams, after giving birth to his baby.

I never thought I would ever think of myself and be able to think or say those words aloud, but here I am. They are indeed true. But is Laurent Astor still the man of my dreams? Do I want the life that he is offering me? I’m not sure that he’s ready for this kind of commitment, but it’s not like I can take any of it back.

My phone buzzes from next to me and I jump slightly before I reach for it. Looking down at Tucker, I pray that I haven’t woken him up from sleeping in my arms, but he doesn’t even flinch. Sliding my finger across the screen to unlock it, I find my text message app and touch it, then find the new notification.

TENNY: I hear you’ll be joining us for family dinner on Sunday. I am so excited!!!!!!!!!

Her exclamation points truly show her excitement, but all I can do is panic. Family dinner. The last time that I went to a family thing with Laurent, it was because Tennessee needed me there.

He made it very clear that he wasn’t ready for me to be part of their inner circle, plus he’d just made a disgusting display of kissing Coffee Cart Abbie in front of me, and the rest of Astor Investments.

I guess. We’ll see.

My response is kind of cold. And I feel regretful instantly, it’s not her fault that I’m feeling this way. It’s not her fault that the last time I thought that something real was happening between me and Laurent, he pushed me away like I was nothing, and ignored me. None of this is her fault and I feel like shit for taking any of it out on her.

TENNY: It will be great. I can’t wait to see you and Tucker.

I can’t wait to meet Hanna.I respond, ignoring the rest.

Thankfully, she doesn’t try to pry into anything else. She just sends me one last message that she can’t wait, and then nothing else. I should take Tucker back to his bassinet, but I’m far too comfortable in this huge chair with him, so instead, I kick my shoes off and situate myself, curled into a ball with him in my arms.

Tucker wakes me up what feels like seconds later, squirming and a little whimpering, before he begins to cry. Opening my eyes, I feel disoriented. It’s dark and I’m in a strange place. Then I realize that I’m at Laurent’s.

The room is dark, and it’s quiet. I don’t know what time it is or where Laurent is in the house, if he’s even here. Standing, I rock Tucker as I feel around for a light switch somewhere. I don’t want to trip over furniture and fall with Tucker in my arms.

It takes me a few moments, and by the time I do find a switch, Tucker is fully screaming and needs to be changed, and he has no problem letting me know—loudly.

I carry him upstairs where all of his things are in an attempt to soothe him as I do, but he’s too far past that. I don’t blame him. I am usually good at changing him as soon as he starts to move around from his nap, but I was exhausted. Today was a really long and emotional day for me.

Once he’s all dry and cleaned up, he calms down a bit, but his bottom lip just quivers as he stares up at me. Picking him up, I glance at the clock and realize that we slept for over four hours on the chair and he’s likely starving.

Instead of going in search of Laurent, I feed Tucker while I sit on the edge of the bed. He’s more than happy to eat, he is beyond starving. I watch him and try to calm my nerves down.

I’ve been a bit of a basket case since Laurent walked into our lives and refused to walk back out two days ago. But I don’t blame him at all, and honestly, deep down I’m glad that he has taken control. I would have never gone to him to tell him about Tucker, I’d waited too long and I just couldn’t do it.

This may not work out, but he’s right. We need to try and it’s easy for me to hope and wish that this will be perfect because part of me will always be in love with Laurent—actively. So, if this doesn’t work, the only failure, the only thing that will sustain permanent damage, will be my heart.

Though, to be fair, Laurent broke that a long time ago and I highly doubt it will ever heal. This little jaunt with him, trying this out, it won’t damage me any further, it can’t. That part of me is already broken.

When Tucker is finished eating and making little cooing noises as his signal that he is indeed finished, I readjust myself and go in search of Laurent. I don’t know if I’m allowed to look around the penthouse for him, but I decide to just do it.

It’s well into the evening and it’s time for dinner. I need something to put Tucker in. As much as I love to hold him, I can’t hold him day and night or rather, I shouldn’t.

Looking back at the bassinet, I shake my head, and decide that there is no way that I can carry that thing downstairs.

Reaching for the bouncer, I wonder if I can carry both the bouncer and Tucker downstairs simultaneously.

“We never know until we try, Tucker,” I say aloud, as if he will answer.

I try and I succeed in carrying both the bouncer and Tucker down the stairs with no help. It was a bit dicey in a few places, but I got it done and I feel pretty accomplished. Even if I haven’t really done much at all.

Settling him in the bouncer, I decide to go in search of Laurent. Tucker is content to look up at the little mirror’s reflection of himself and I make sure that all of his straps are secured before I walk out of the room.

It doesn’t take me long to find Laurent. Walking past the kitchen, I look to the right and notice that there is a small room there. It’s not huge, just big enough for a desk and a bookshelf. There Laurent is, sitting behind that desk, his gaze focused on the computer screen in front of him.

Like the creeper I am, I watch him for a moment before I make my presence clear. Clearing my throat, I don’t look away. He lifts his head, his eyes immediately finding mine and he gives me a smirk. It’s cocky and sexy, and for a moment I forget that we aren’t lovers, because I could kiss him right now, so easily.

LAURENT

Pretty.

Bethie has always been hot, sexy, mixed in with a little of the girl next door vibe. The whole reason I was attracted to her in the first place. While I love a sexy vixen, I need a little sweet in my life too. Bethie ticked all the boxes, still does.

Flicking my gaze to the clock, I look back up at her. She’s standing across the room, her shoulder leaning against the doorjamb as she watches me. She doesn’t walk into my space, a woman in the corporate world knowing that a man’s office is his personal space, a space where others should wait to be invited inside of.

“It’s late,” I announce, as if she doesn’t know that.

“Not too late, but we should eat dinner. Tucker’s sleep schedule is more than likely completely messed up tonight, we took a nap for four hours on your big gray chair,” she announces.

My lips curve up into a smile. I didn’t even pick that chair out, I’ve never sat in it myself much, but the fact that she and Tucker enjoyed it enough to take such a long nap makes me feel like at least I could do something right, or at least my interior designer did.

“What do you want? There’s nothing to make, so don’t even try looking around the kitchen. I’ll put in a grocery order for you tomorrow if you make me a list,” I say as I close down my computer and grab my phone from the desk, shoving it into my pocket as I stand to my feet.

“How about just a pizza or something?” she asks.

I hum, I take my phone out of my pocket, calling her favorite pizza place and placing an order for delivery. It only takes a few moments, my name and card having already been on file with them from the many pizzas in bed I’ve had after a day of hell at the office lately.

Lifting my gaze to meet hers, I smile. “It’ll be here in thirty.”

“You remembered my order,” she breathes.

“I do. Not hard, Bethie. You’re the only person I know who only likes cheese and olives,” I say with a chuckle.

“They’re good together,” she says as I walk out of my office and past her. Reaching out, I take her hand in mine and gently tug her behind me.

“I have some meetings tomorrow, so I won’t be home much during the day, you’ll be okay here alone? Give me your grocery list and I’ll have the food delivered in the morning, before lunch,” I ramble as we make our way into the living room.

My eyes take in the room, searching it, until I see him. Tucker is awake, his legs and arms kicking as he makes little baby noises at whatever the fuck he’s looking at directly in front of him. Tilting my head to the side, my lips curve up as I watch him.

“It’s a little plastic mirror,” Bethie says next to me. Turning my head, I look down at her, my eyes widening. “He likes to look at himself,” she says with a shrug.

My lips curve up into a huge smile. “I know the feeling. He’s mine, that’s for sure,” I say with a laugh.

She lets out a small laugh of her own and I keep my hand firmly wrapped around hers as I turn to walk toward the door that leads outside. There is a small balcony area, then to the right, there’s a staircase to my private pool. It’s small, but I like to sit out and swim during the summer, especially when it’s too fucking hot to force myself to go to the gym to work out.

“I forgot how beautiful your view was,” Bethie breathes.

I leave the door open, tugging the screen closed so that we can hear Tucker.

Bethie walks over to the chair and sinks down, letting out a long exhale when she does. “I haven’t asked you how you feel during all of this. Do you need anything?”

She doesn’t speak right away, so I turn to look at her. Bethie’s eyes are wide as she looks up at me, her lips parted slightly. She shakes her head slowly, then licks her lips. “I’m okay,” she says.

“Gotta admit, I don’t know the ins and outs of childbirth, but I’m guessing it’s a big fucking deal. Do you need anything from me? I’m serious. Tell me and it’s yours.”

She still stares at me in awe and I can’t help but smile down at her. Then she clears her throat. “I’m okay, Laurent. This whole situation is overwhelming, but I’m okay. We’re okay.”

Nodding my head once, I look back at the city and wonder how much longer I’ll live here. You can’t raise children here, not really. Tucker is going to need a yard to play in, he’s going to need room to run. I’ll have to get a house in the burbs like my dad. But isn’t that logical, since I’m now a dad.

Dad.

Weird.

It’s still an odd title, one that I know I haven’t earned yet. I’m not sure if I will ever earn it, to be honest, just like my position at Astor Investments. Both gigantic responsibilities were thrust on me and while I could feel resentful about both of them, I don’t. I feel almost as if this is how everything was always meant to work out.

Bethie was always meant to be at my side, I just fucked up and pushed her away. I was always meant to run Astor Investment Bank, even if it doesn’t look the exact same as when my father sat in that big office.

This is the life that was meant for me. It hasn’t come conventionally and I have a feeling that it’s going to have some huge ups and downs, but I feel confident that this is what I was always meant to have.