The Blush Factor by Deborah Bladon
Chapter Forty-One
Faith
Dear Diary,
I’m in love.
I know most people will tell me that it’s not love that I feel but lust. I had great sex, and naturally, it’s easy to assume that I’ve let my heart believe that all the orgasms I had last night (5 or it might have been 6) have clouded my judgment.
That’s not what is happening.
I want Matthew to be happy. I want his dreams to come true, and I want all of that to happen with me, but more than that, I want the people around him to see who he is.
He’s the best man I’ve ever met.
Today, he’s with his twin brother helping him put the finishing touches on a nursery for the baby he and his wife are expecting.
After that, Matthew is meeting his younger brother for coffee because he called him early this morning, telling him he wanted to talk.
He would drop everything to help anyone. I know he would do it for me without hesitation.
He’s a good man who makes me believe I can be the woman I want to be.
I’m in love with Matthew Hawthorne, and I hope one day he’ll love me back.
-F.U.
I slam the cover of my diary shut when I hear the unmistakable sound of Professor Stein clearing her throat.
I’m in a lecture hall on campus anxiously awaiting a presentation by a friend of Professor Stein’s who just happens to be a world-renowned biologist.
The presentation is free, so I signed up the moment she announced it.
I hesitated briefly an hour ago as I was getting dressed.
I had to leave Matthew to come here, but when he told me that he was planning on seeing both of his brothers, I felt relieved.
We’ll meet up later for dinner and then spend another night at his place before he goes to work in the morning.
I reach down to my backpack to pull my tablet free.
Sucking in a deep breath, I make a silent vow to myself that I’ll focus on this presentation. I need to.
Regardless of how I feel about Matthew, my career matters to me.
I want to be a doctor.
I want to be loved by Matthew.
I want it all, and if luck shines down on me, I’ll get it.
* * *
“How did the lecture go today?”Matthew questions me as he pierces a piece of crab with his fork.
We’re in his apartment, eating our way through a seafood salad that was delivered a few minutes ago.
Matthew said dinner was my choice, so I ordered this through an app on my phone.
He complained that I paid for our meal, but I wanted to.
He’s been treating me to so much lately - mostly kisses and orgasms.
I already had some of each since I got here two hours ago.
I tug on the bottom of the T-shirt I’m wearing. It’s one of Matthew’s. It’s a tour T-shirt from his favorite musician, Asher Foster.
“The lecture was great,” I pause and then let out a chuckle. “It’s what happened after that was fascinating. At least it was to me.”
He sets his fork down on the plate. “Tell me.”
I stare at him. Seeing him like this shirtless with tousled hair from my fingers and swollen lips from our kisses fills me with a sense of satisfaction I’ve never felt before.
“I saw Professor Stein holding hands with the man who gave the lecture.”
His left eyebrow perks. “Really?”
“Really,” I say with a nod of my head. “She was smiling at him. I’m talking a huge smile. I’ve never seen her smile like that before.”
His gaze travels over my face. “What was the lecturer’s name?”
“Dr. Presbey.”
“Dr. Presbey,” he repeats. “I’ve never heard of him.”
“You don’t listen to audiobooks by famous neuroscientists or experts in molecular biology.”
“So Dr. Presbey is a rock star in the world of molecular biology?”
I tug on the front of the T-shirt I’m wearing. “He’s the Asher Foster of biology.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Impressive.”
“He’s all right.” I shrug a shoulder. “He’s got nothing on you, Dr. Hawthorne.”
Before I realize what’s happening, he’s on his feet and next to me. He tugs me up by both arms. “Back to bed, FU. I have a sudden craving for something other than food.”
